What turned you into the piece of shit you are now user? is that time of the night boys

what turned you into the piece of shit you are now user? is that time of the night boys

loss trauma lack of love and trust

my parents turned me into a socially disabled person and the insecurities, self destructive behavior, drugs, egocentrism, psychological abuse

I fucking hate myself and project that self hated onto others; haha I'm just like every other piece of garbage on here

my parents were supportive and i actually caused problems for myself by not wanting to offend them, also my mind seems to make situations worse than they are like im too hurt for what im going through but idk

where do u guys think the self hate comes from? where did it started?? i just cant remember the time where everything started going to shit

Probably being molested by an older relative. And maybe my dad not knowing how to deal with own emotions and frustrations and treating me like an idiot instead of teaching me stuff

father's death at age 4

post traumatic stress disorder from being molested by my brother at age 7

cracked headed father. Mental abuse towards myself and my mother. Then the death of my boyfriend and grandmother.

Anhedonia. I derive no pleasure from anything so I have no motivation to work towards bettering myself or my life in general. The only things I enjoy are drinking, drugs, and tv for an escape.

It's not so bad.

Sexually confused, realized I have to wait a long time until anything I want to happen with actually happen, boredom and lots of self-awareness

An unbridled sexual appetite, likely from early in life sexual experiences with family/friends. Ruined my first marriage and is currently ruining my second, I fight it every day and I feel like I might be finally winning... I used to be such a different person.

Social isolation due to computers turned me into a fuck that can't maintain a decent conversation with anyone

...

But are you good using computers? Like some advanced habilities

I only enjoy talking about computers. If the current conversation topic isn't related to computers in any shape or form, I don't give a fuck. It's obvious too

I've found that topics with CS come easily to me. Recently, I've just been solving Project Euler problems and shit. I might just be autistic though, maybe that explains all of this.

Where are drops now

raised by a single mother. experienced violence and trauma from an early age

Im the kind of guy who prefers staying at home using a computer or smarthphone than going outside at night for example, i love computers and technology and love learning all about this kind of things, but a lot of people dont understand me and think im just a freak and wasting my time

My sister's dad raped my eldest two sisters and pretty much got away with it, then he bailed and we can't find any info on him. To this day the fact I was too young to stop him and do anything about it cripples me. If I knew where he lived, I'd make up for the past.

I recently ordered a new pc so well, there goes my life

Autism, drugs, and physical abuse.

Dude theres no way you can be cleaning yourself for this
I know you think cause you were you there that you could've done something, but you need to look at it objectively that this was just another random series of events and decisions (your mom was born, your mom had 2 kids, etc, your mom meet this guy, etc, your mom wasn't home, etc, this guy raped your sisters) you need to realize he was the first person in that chain to willfully inflict pain on others and there's nothing really you can do to catch that it stop it before it happens.
Idk sometimes this argument helps people who feel like they have any blame, but at some point please snap out of it and know that in some kind of existential sense that you were a random occurrence that was present to witness that.
It's unfortunate, not saying it isn't fucked up and you're gonna carry it with you regardless, but please quit blaming yourself. Don't let self pity become your crutch. It's never the path for a bright future

Also not a bad revenge story if you ever find out where he lives
Remember to tie him up and rape him by kicking an oversized dildo into his ass and maybe even castrating him before killing him

I never had a childhood or teen years.
So now I'm banging 13 to 16yos to make up for all that i missed out on

Meh, u know.. growing up, realize the world is a puppet shit hole and u cant do shit a about it, realize people are generally stupid sheep shits.

Made horrible life decisions, now I'm on Sup Forums.

Drugs

We're all in the same boat with the same problem, just with different origins. We need to all have sex with each other and cuddle.

Working hard, joining the army for discipline and confidence and then moving in to the police to round off my engagement and social skills.

I'm a pretty good and rounded person tbh.

Fucked up family, and memtally fucked up relationships from a young age

I'm just here for the porn and to have a good laugh

Thank you user. I don't think I'll ever shake it, I'm the only male in my mother and sister's lives that hasn't fucked them over, and I feel like I owe it to them, for enduring everything, to give him some comeuppance - even just a little. He has a new family now, and though I can't find him, I found them and told them what he is, and they didn't even care. The world's fucked up.

The eternal search for truth.