Alright Sup Forums, I want to tell you a story

Alright Sup Forums, I want to tell you a story.

>Be me
>21
>Girlfriend of 4 years left 3 months before
>Finally meet some friends
>At their place for the night
>Two guys and two girls live in this house together
>One of the guys is at work
>Two girls, me, and one other guy, mfw
>We're all drinking
>We're all pretty smashed already
>The other male roommate starts to talk about the guy that's at work
>Supposedly this guy has schizophrenia
>At one point he said to one of the girls: "I am an angel sent from heaven to save all of you."
>Can't wait to meet this kook after he gets off work

Continue?

Yea
Ok

Cont op

im listening

Cont

Cont.

>Schizo roommate gets off at midnight
>We eventually get off the subject
>Play some Scattergories
>Game is super hard when you're drunk
>One of the girls goes to bed
>Now it's me, the normal roommate, and one of the girls.
>We decide to play strip poker
>The game goes on for at least 30 minuets
>Literally ends in a three way tie
>We all try to come up with a way to break the tie
>The girl suggests a naked race around the house
>mfw
>Used to destroy schoolyard races in middle school
>These plebs don't know what they just did
>We all step out side and commence the race
>Girl is looking too good right now
>6/10 but is totally looking like an 9/10
>Kind of cold outside so not getting a boner is easy

Cont.

>She counts it down from three
>I take off with the speed of a fucking cheetah
>Make it around the house in .5 seconds or less, easy
>Slam on my boxers and stand there
>Proud as fuck
>They both note my ridiculous speed and skill dodging obstacles while totally shitfaced and naked
>Knew I had these fucks beaten before we even started
>Head back inside
>Its about 11:30 now
>The other guy goes to play vidya and go to sleep after
>Me and the qt3.15 start listening to music and drinking some more
>I hear the door open, mfw

Half assed bump

Stump

>In walks a fairly normal looking dude
>He's about 5' 10" with longish hair
>The chick I'm with introduces us to each other
>She goes up to the attic where she sleeps
>Tells me to come hang out with her soon
>fuckyes.jpg
>Chat with him for a second
>He offers me a mixed drink
>I take it and try to drink it pretty fast but I need to find out more about this mental case
>He starts getting into religion
>I tell him I'm agnostic
>And he gets his fucking bible...
>mfw
>He starts to read me things from all through the bible
>Saying it proves gods existence
>Thinking to myself: "this dudes just a jesus freak on another level"
>The whole time he's reading this shit to me he's drinking vodka straight from the bible
>He's now visibly wasted
>Tell him I'm heading to bed
>He puts on some music

Holy shit you type slow as fuck dude

>Upstairs with qt3.15
>Having cigarettes and some warm beer
>Listening to music
>We lay on her floor and talk for at least and hour
>We get on the subject of the roommate
>I say he seemed pretty normal, just kinda off
>Suggest that maybe he was just really wasted when he said that shit about being an angel
>She assures me that this guy is fucking nuts
>She asks me not to say anything because he told her this privately
>but this dude said there's a demon in the house that tries to get him to kill everyone in the house
>Now I'm fucking sweating bullets
>There's a fucking future serial killer in the house I'm supposed to sleep in getting wasted
>All of a sudden the music downstairs gets really fucking loud
>Over the music you can hear the sound his screams and of holes being punched in the wall
>Girl stands up, and with as much speed as I had while running naked around this future crime scene, sprints downstairs and start screaming at him
>mfw

Typing this at work, sorry dude.

K den
Bamp

And

And...

What an awful story never tell it again

bump

>Now that there's some action I can't help myself and I head downstairs after her
>This guys eyes are barely open
>He's is holding the bottle of vodka in his hand and is swaying uncontrollably
>The girl can't get him to calm down and go to bed
>I get ballsy, or maybe it was the booze, but I tell her to go upstairs and I will try to get him to go to bed
>She agrees
>I go up to the guy with a calm demeanor and suggest that maybe it's time to go to bed
>His eyes open and I see the most furious look
>I liken it to tard rage, it was uncontrollable
>Thankfully this guy was wasted enough that I didn't catch the sober side of his psychotic rage
>He bum rushes me from across the room
>I take a step to the side and he slams into the kitchen table
>He broke the fucking table in half
>mfw
>Both of the girls run downstairs to see what the fuck happened

Bump

Boop

what next my man

>Now this situation is out of my hands
>Both of the girls are screaming at him
>Calling him a shitty person
>Basically cornering him
>He agrees to head bed
>The girl that went to bed early starts drinking again
>I tell the girl that I was hanging with to come outside and smoke a cigarette with me
>We're about halfway done and we hear some loud banging and the other girl starts screaming
>Like blood curdling screams
>Again, this girl I'm hanging with blasts through the door at the speed of light to find the schizo roommate on top of the other girl beating the shit out of her
>Something I neglected to mention: this qt3.15 is 6' 2" at least and isn't super skinny.
>She could probably beat the shit out of me
>She pulls the guy off of her and proceeds to punch him once
>This was a punch unlike any punch I have ever seen or will see
>It was calculated and quick but it's force was fucking immense
>This guy immediately starts to bleed and cry

come on, this is getting good

Clump

i hope you fuck both the bitches op

great story so far OP

Seconded

This is good fam

Is it going to be gold?

This thread is really lit

Slow af

But it is worth the wait

>This whole time, the guy that went to play vidya hasn't left his room
>Smart choice if you ask me
>This bleeding and crying grown man attempts to apologize to everyone
>He apologizes to me for trying to fight me
>He apologizes to the girl he just beat the shit out of
>And he doesn't say anything to this beast of a woman as he's clearly far too terrified of her now
>The girls and I go out to smoke a cigarette and this guy tries to follow us
>We shut the screen door and this fuck is too drunk and concussed to open the fucking SCREEN DOOR
>He gives up after a few tries and slumps into the door frame
>Mumbling out apologies through blood and spit
>I'm watching him because what went in is bound to come out at some point
>He manages to get himself upright and miraculously opens the screen door
>As soon as he does he starts to heave
>We get the fuck out of his way but nothing happens
>He just sits on the steps with his head down
>We have a few more cigarettes and now hes kind of leaning back
>There were no warning signs
>This guy just pucks the largest volume of puke I have ever seen all over himself
>mfw this night turned out to be quite fucking eventful
>It stunk so fucking bad

Sounds like a normal post college "hang out" with haggard low income wageslaves.

...

so slow....

Bamp. Is there more, OP?

And?

fuck is that all? what a shit story

>We leave him outside covered in his own puke and blood
>A fitting punishment for this fuck
>The girls and I go inside and have a few more drinks
>The one that went to bed early does it again and the other girl and I are hanging out in the kitchen
>It looks like a tard lost his shit in here
>Condiments from the fridge are strewn everywhere
>Somehow a container of oatmeal was opened and duped onto the carpet in a surprisingly neat pile
>The table looks like it was part of a WWE match
>The girl and I start listening to some music again
>She puts on Johnny Hobo and the Freight Trains
>I just fucking fell in love
>She's just as blown away that I know them too
>After a few more songs she starts to cry
>She tells me that she's been so stressed out living in this house
>That shit kind of like what happened that night happens pretty often
>She's honestly worried that the schizo roommate is going to fucking murder them
>She puts on some Modest Mouse and sits next to me
>She says "I'm going to try to fuck you later, don't let me."
>mfw

Moar op I need it now!

Bumpppppp

cmon fag, is this just a "i fucked her then left and the other day the tard killed her" thread?

BUMP IT UP

just get to the sex part

>But I say okay and proceed to drink more because I'm not going to fuck her anyways
>badchoice.jpg
>We keep listening to music
>By now it's 3 or so in the morning on a Wednesday night
>I have to work in 4 hours
>It was totally worth it
>She kind of lays next to me on the floor of the kitchen
>I look over at her and she's looking me dead in the eyes
>fuckit.wav
>Make the only alpha move of my life and start making out with her
>She sits up and we kinda get into it
>She realizes we're about to fuck on the kitchen floor and tells me to meet her upstairs
>Now I know I'm in trouble
>I'm way to drunk to fuck her right now
>mfw
>Head upstairs and try anyways

Nice dubs btw

Bump

God you're such a perfidious weasel OP

Damn I have to work, but I want to know if the guy murdered them and if OP is a ghost.

Just commenting so I get the notifications. Don't mind me. This story is getting guud

come on fwagot what happened next?

Hurry op

>We make out while I finger her
>She reaches in my pants and I'm barely half hard
>her feel when
>She tells me to just keep fingering her
>I keep trying so fucking hard to get hard
>Thinking about how bad I want to tear this pussy down
>Nothing
>Fuck
>She ends up grabbing my hand and making me choke her
>I should not have drank so much, this is hot as fuck
>Still nothing
>Remember that she told me to not fuck her
>All desire to even keep trying leaves me
>Make her cum and then lay next to her
>"I'm too drunk to fuck you"
>"That's okay, next time."
>Okay, just a half bad outcome

Gonna screencap this, not at home right now but I'll organize them at :50

Soon...

Why? This isn't.very entertaining, except for the schizo-autist.

meh good enough to be worth reading, have a nice day OP

I wanna go to bed but I don't wanna leave before the story ends.

That’s it?

we need more u fug

I think its over mate

Epilogue:

>That night we laid together and talked until the sun came up
>I drank a beer and then went to work
>We spent about four more nights together after then
>She started to express a ton of interest in me
>Ended up fucking her eventually
>Wasn't good at all
>Shortly after she just stopped talking to me and started doing a lot of coke
>No one has been murdered by the schizo yet
>At least I got this story and some pussy out of it
>They say the roomate playing vidya is still there to this day

2am Aus fag here and I work at 6

I wanted a happy ending not this.

Kinda anticlimactic end

its nearly 8 am here rippo

Fucking good waste of our fucking time

It was all about the journey not the reward

More than 1 and a half hour for the entire story

>"it was all about the journey not the reward"
Okay fap for an hour and right before you nut just stop and go to bed and try saying that shit

Here I was hoping for a good story

Califag? I'm barely about to knock out in a bit

West coast Leaf

this only proves that OP didn't make up his story. this is the real life, kiddo.

Yeah well maybe I want to be lied to so I can feel better about my life or at least feed on someone else's happiness

good story, ignore fucking degenerates crying who came expecting smut

OP here, thanks man.

Exactly.