Joke thread. Can be offensive idc

Joke thread. Can be offensive idc.

A guy eats at a nice restaurant. The waitress comes and sees that he has food leftover. She asks, "wanna box for it?" and he replies, "no, but we can arm wrestle."

*Wave of piss rips front of your pants off

Biggest joke I could think of

Try harder

how to tittfuck a 10 year old: cut open ribcage.

A little black Jewish boy says to his daddy, "Dad am I more black or Jewish?"
"Why do you ask?", says the Dad.
The boy says, "Well a guy at school has a bike for sale for $150 and I can't decide if I want to haggle him down to $100 or just steal it."

How do parents in Africa celebrate their kid's first birthday?
They bring flowers to his grave

Jesus Christ fed 2,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, but Adolf Hitler made 6 million Jews toast.

How do you get a black kid out of a tree? Cut the rope.

What does your sister say after having sex? Next!, what does your mom.say? Is your sister done yet?

Don't make fun of black people, I have some in my family tree, ...Their hangin around.

How does a blond turn on the lights after having sex? She opens the car door.

How do you start an Ethiopian rave?

You glue a piece of toast to the ceiling.

What's white on top and black on bottom? US culture
kek

Kek

How long does it take for a black woman to take a shit? Nine months.

Or, your mother cowgirling a nigger.

What do you do when a black guy is crawling around in your yard?

Shoot him again

What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.

a pedophile, rapist, and priest walk into a bar...and he orders a drink

What runs through walls and kills jews?
Gas Pipes

Pedophile & a little girl are walking through the woods.
Little girl says "Mister, I'm scared, it's dark out here."
Pedophile looks at her & says "How do you think I feel? I have to walk out of here by myself."

My humor is so black it could pick cotton

What does idc stand for?

A man goes into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide.

The librarian says 'fuck off you won't bring it back'

A guy goes into the library and asks the librarian "do you have the new book on small penises?"

She replies "sorry, I don't think it's in yet."

He says, "yeah, that's the one."

How does a black woman know she's pregnant?
When she pulls the tampon out, the Cotton's been picked

You make shitty attempts at cinematic universes.

I don't care

Oh do you not like Donald Trump? What a unique and original opinion you have there.

What do you call 5 black people having sex? A threesome

Congrats, you earned the participation trophy.

What's worse than a worm in your apple?
The holocaust

What's worse than the holocaust?
two holocaust

Why is asprin white?

Because it works

Underrated

So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar...

... Just kidding

i know its shitty

What's the difference between santa and jews?
Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

Knock knock.

I Do Cock

What's worse than the holocaust?

6 million jews.

Old as fuck

whats the difference between two ducks?
they both can fly.... (kill me)

how many jews can you get in a vw beetle? 20
2 in the front 3 on the backseat and 15 in the ashtray

This is retarded. You can fit at least 30 in the ashtray

at least this one made me kek

Long one but here you go
Annie and Sue are walking back from school
Annie: I wanna go to the picture show, do you wanna go?
Sue: Sure, but I don't have the $3
Annie: Well just ask yer paw for it
Sue: Naw I don't wanna!
Annie: But I wanna go to the picture show real bad!
So Sue goes home, walks up to Dad and says
Sue: Daaaaddy.... can I have $3 to go see the picture show
Daddy: Well Sue, you know the family rule
Sue: But daddy, I don't wanna!
Daddy: Sue, you know the house rule
So Daddy drops down his pants, pulls out his dick and Sue starts sucking. She takes a couple of sucks.
Sue: DADDY YER DICK TASTES LIKE SHIT!
Daddy: Well your brother asked to borrow the car...

How are broccoli and anal sex alike?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

A sadist, necrophiliac, pyromaniac, zoophiliac, and a masochist were sitting in a jail cell together. The zoophiliac says, "I want to have sex with a cat." The sadist says, "I want to torture a cat then have sex with it." The pyromaniac says, "I wanna torture the cat, set it on fire, then have sex with it." The necrophiliac says, "Well I want to torture the cat, set it on fire, have sex with it, then kill it and have sex with it again." Finally, the masochist says, "Meow."

Who's there?

If you went camping and someone raped your ass while you were camping, would you tell anyone when you got back from camping?

Some nigger.

"Fuck you"

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

Love it

No

why are black people like christmas lights?
because when one dosen't work none of them do, and they look best hanging from a tree.

Wanna go camping?

That's not a joke. I died of horror for a few seconds.

Wanna go camping?

Did you hear the one about Klu Klux Knievel?

He tried to jump 40 niggers with a steam roller.

So my wife walked in on me fucking my son, I don't know what is more shocking, the look on my wife's face or the fact that the abortion clinic let me keep him.

What is funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume.

What's the difference between a jew and a car tire?
They both scream when you hit the gas

A father is showering in the morning when his young daughter stumbles into the bathroom.

She opens the curtain and notices his penis to which she says, "Daddy what's that?"

Seeing it as a teachable moment the father replies, "That's my penis sweetie."

The daughter quickly asks, "Will I ever get one?"

The father chuckles and responds, "As soon as your mother leaves for work."

Uh....

What's the difference between a nigger and a tire?

When you put chains on the nigger, they start singing.

a woman goes to the doctor and complains of stomach pains.
the doctor does some tests, comes back and says: "Well, you're going to be changing nappies in 9 months!"
The woman says: "Oh my God, you mean I'm pregnant?!"
"Nope, stomach cancer"

What does a baby look like after its been in the microwave for 30 seconds?

I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate

what did you vote for trump? what a clueless moron you are.

I think you did that one backwards

Why do niggers smell?

So blind people can hate them too.

Why did so many niggers get killed in Vietnam?

When the sarge yelled "Get down!" they started dancing.

Whats the difference between niggers and winter tires?

None, they both work better with chains.

ay hol up this some racis shit

What is worse than the Holocaust?
6 million Jews

What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it

meant for
How do you hide a key from a mexican?
Hide it under the soap.

...

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? I've never been inside a Cadillac.

What does a baby and a pancake have in common?
You throw them in the bin if they're black.

Exactly what has changed in your day to day life that trump being president affected?
If you say anything other than absolutely nothing, you’re a lying faggot.

Want to try that one again?

I am lose every time. For am Latvian.

I kekd audibly, but then I felt bad.
I also have a boner now.

You can say what you want about deaf people

The other day, my girlfriend was borrowing my computer, and then, out of nowhere, she flat out accused my of being a pedophile! I know, right!? I said pedophile!? PEDOPHILE!!? That's an awfully big word for a ten year old!!!!

What's black on top and white on the bottom?
Rape.

Wrong, whites don't work. They sit in their basements all day and watch anime.

Not funny.

What's white even when they are dead?

>jews

I don't get it am I retarded

Two peanuts are walking down the street.

One of them was assfucked ..

exactly trump hasnt changed a thing hes to busy enjoying vacation trips around the world.

Punchline predicted. Unfunny.

>a pedophile, rapist, and priest walk into a bar... They said ow!

Why cant Germans get AIDS?
Because they do not have friends

kek

Old, boring. Yawn.

Why does NASA drink Sprite?

Because they couldn't get 7up.
Shittiest joke 2017

Oh look his dumb ass followers coming to the rescue. Choo choo her come the trump train.

How do you get a nigglet to stop jumping on the bed?

Put Velcro on the ceiling.

How do you get him down?

Tell a beaner it's a piñata.

Are you Carl the cuck or aids skrillex?

died

Saying that making fun of him is easy and overdone = his followers coming to his aid kek
Ever think it's just not funny? Kys faggot