At the end of a poorly-lit alley, a neon sign flickers back to life. It invites you into the building’s warm interior...

At the end of a poorly-lit alley, a neon sign flickers back to life. It invites you into the building’s warm interior, the bar a shelter from the world’s troubles. You glance at the menu posted on the doorway:

>advice
>conversation
>happy thoughts

Inside, the bartender smiles at you welcomingly. Despite the buzz of both regular and newcomer patrons, you find an empty stool at the counter.

How can I help you tonight, Anonymous?

Jill a qt

why can i not grow pubic hair

I mean... I guess that's one way to start a thread.

Heard you had happy thoughts. Figured I try one.

bump

Got any of what the sign had?
Something to keep me feeling "alive" for more than 10 mins would be nice. I'd even buy it in bulk.

Why have I yet to meet another channer in real life?

that's... actually a good question. I don't know stuff about hair growth, but I know that even some people who go through puberty grow more or less body hair than other people.
do you feel weird not having body hair?
today's happy thought is: I found an extra granola bar today! I get to postpone grocery shopping just a little longer.
tbh you probably have. it's not like people run around yelling "I GO ON Sup Forums" though.

Johnnie Black, neat.

sometimes i cover my hairless naked body with oil and pretend im a slug

Heya Hiya
-SouthPaw

Well you wouldn't want to meet someone that ran around yelling that anyway...
How are you Jill? You cutie.

...?
petroleum jelly seems like it would work better, honestly. a little more viscous.
evening.
I'm holding up. got some studying to do, but then I'll have the rest of the week to myself. how are you?

I need some help, I can never start a conversation, especially online, what do I say?

ahh is it anything difficult?
Im doing ok thank you, I haven't been so well in general but Im pretty drunk and feel great right now,

I used grape jelly and peanut butter once and I had a psychosexual awakening

I think I'm just letting the truth get to me too much. I need to find a way to deal with this "instability" of mine but for now I can't.
I just have to continue and hope that the stress doesn't age me any faster.

>it's not like people run around yelling "I GO ON Sup Forums" though.
Good point. What personality traits do you think a channer might display? Maybe hurrying up trying to get back home?

Is it necessary for a man to use lotion on his skin? Does it even make a noticeable difference? I just bought some but am having trouble finding the motivation to use it... And how often should I be using it, too? Just before bed time? When I wake up?

I need to work harder to keep my emotions from surfacing.

Hi!

heck if I know. I'm actually really bad at talking to people. I usually ask what people are into, hobbies, music...
it shouldn't be! I'm pretty good at the stuff I'm getting tested on. just nerves, at this point.
I like getting drunk too, but it's not the best way to help yourself feel better about life. all those problems will still be there when you sober up, and you're out the cost of the booze.
sounds hot.
it will. you're going to start finding grey hairs soon enough. but you'll get through it in time, as well.
a lot of them are introverted and quiet people. most of my experience is with one guy I knew for a while and found out later, and he was... a bit of a douchebag. but I like to think there's good ones out there too.
what kind of lotion? I've never used lotion or had issues with dry skin, but I wash my face each night and morning.

hey there. any games on tonight?

Dry skin or oily skin?

I have trouble getting the song "Sledgehammer" out of my head. It runs on a loop in there. And I'm not talking about the Peter Gabriel version. I mean the one by that all girl band from a few years ago. "If you could feel my pulse. Right. Now. It would hit you like a sledge-hammer." You know, that one. What should I do about this? It's making me crazy. By the way, did you know that Peter Gabriel was once a member of Genesis? And did you know that Phil Collins was the drummer AND lead singer for Genesis? Imagine that! A drummer that sings too! It's like that band The Romantics. They had that song "What I Like About You". In the video, their drummer was the lead singer as well. They also had a minor follow up hit with "Talking in Your Sleep." That songs pretty alright, I guess.

You seem too nice to be here (coming from someone who rarely comes on b). Why are you here?

It's been a nightmare already that I have made worse by my choices. I am starting to think I may need professional help to fix some things. On the other hand I am not sure I should inconvenience others that much. "Why reach for the rope when I could just drown and let it be over with?"

Dolphins V Panthers on Monday night football.

Other than that, no Blackhawks until Wednesday.

What do you study, if I may ask?
Currently I'm just trying to stay drunk all the time, I'm sure it wont backfire

How long has this been happening?

In the winter time, I get dry, itchy skin sometimes. So this year I'm being proactive and bought some early. It's Lubriderm lotion with "For Men" on it. It just smells manly, not girly. I think that's the only difference. I'd like to use it on my face too maybe. I hear it can help keep skin youngish looking. I had a gf for 9 years I just broke up with 2 months ago. I used to use her lotion when I needed it. I got this big bottle of lotion now so I feel like I have to use it more. A big bottle of lotion and a big hole in my heart... I know some people use it to beat off, I've done that before too, but I prefer spit or water even. Water works pretty well. I don't like strictly spit for some reason. So I kinda take a sip of water and spit it in my hand. That way it's like some water, some spit. Water by itself dries out too fast. You gotta constantly reload. It's distracting... anyway what was I saying?

I don't believe we've met. I've not even heard of you, in fact.

I'm having trouble coming up with a nickname, but I suppose I will in time..

Coffee or tea?

Oh, on and off for years now. It's recently become lodged in there again, somehow. I haven't even heard it lately...

Long time no see huh sweety hehe how you been also what can I do to feel clear headed again?

neat.
just like talking to and maybe helping people, if I can.
eh, nothing wrong with seeking professional help. it's not a sign that you're weak or that you're failing because you can't handle things on your own. I'd actually argue it takes a certain strength to ask for the help.
I'm a lil biased though, I've had good experiences.
:ok_hand: don't know either of the teams, if I'm honest. I'll see if I can pick it up, though.
I'm actually changing my focus from screenwriting and voicework to pursuing my paramedic license. figure it's going to be a bit more viable in the real world.
sucks about the breakup.
I'd suggest applying it in the morning when you, yknow. do other morning things like brushing teeth.
neither, actually! I get those little water flavoring things to keep the caffeine withdrawal at bay.
smoke a big ol' bowl.

or meditate. I'd suggest meditating.

I recommend Dickinsons Witch Hazel for basic skin care. It will moisturize dry skin and clean up oily skin. Good to use on your hands or face.

I don't believe in meditations and I tried staring at a candle once it just made me dizzy

Just got back from a backpacking trip. Wish i could just stay out there, i hate dealing with life. 2 jobs and uni makes you hate responsibilities.

Does listening to other types of music help?
Hi! You made it! Good to see you here!

I mean, it's just thinking and trying to clear your mind, which is... exactly what you want.
maybe a good night's rest after a hot shower?
man, that would wear anyone down. I'm sorry to hear you've got all that on your plate.

Ah yes good to see you too your the one that suggested i come here and its nice thanks hehe
Yeah I should take a shower but I don't sleep well at all so maybe that wont happen but yeah ill do the shower also I feel like im having tons of bad luck now

I suppose I'll wait a bit longer see where things go. I just can't communicate lately and it has been bothering me. Or I ask someone a question and they give me back an essay to sift through rather than just telling me what's going on.

I think I'll stay here a bit longer, I just can't relax right now.

Ahh becoming a paramedic does sound sensible, rather difficult and brave Jill. Good luck.
I bet you have a lovely voice though, will you pursue writing and voice acting as a hobby?

well, hopefully the sleep comes soon.
no worries. hope whatever's going on clears up soon.
probably, yeah. it's been a while since I tried working on writing anything, but I've done readings for a few friends that needed audio versions to present.

It will not I know that

Hey, I have a quick question.
Why do you help people out here? Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve help.

/shrug
still gonna hope it does.
because I needed help and some random person once helped me. I think maybe, over time, we can decrease the level of suffering in the world, even if just a bit.

Its worth it if it means leaving behind being broke. Wish people werent so fucking dumb though, would make it a lot easier. Thanks for the kind words

I'm my own favorite bartender, no last calls.

Thanks still hehe

Hey, what's your sexual orientation?
Just curious.

trisexual

that's fair, yeah. it's just a lot of stress to undergo, and I hope you're handling it well enough.
nothing wrong with keeping your own shelf stocked.
I just like people.

Awww thats great, do you have an accent of some kind? Good luck in whatever you pursue, I think its lovely you can help even more people.

>I just like people.
gaaaaaaaaaay

It will help you sleep if you turn off your computer and phone about an hour before. The light emitted by these devices can interfere with your sleep cycle.

nah, I fall under GenAm accent. and thank you

Hey, I think we were talking a long while ago... If you don't remember me don't worry. I was wondering if you still wanted to talk. I understand if you'll say no, you're probably really busy after the threads....

Yeah they do but I want to stay up untill twelve because that's what im used to

Ok. If that's you regular schedule.

Yes I want to sleep at twelve because I don't like sleeping too early and I usally get out of my sleepy feeling in like a hour

Oh sounds like a cute combo. I got another question, what is your favorite Vahalla drink? ya know based on what it tells you about the taste.

I'll be busy tonight and the next couple of days, but I'm usually okay at answering emails when I have a chance.
[email protected]
gut punch.

Gut punch sounds neat, would you try to slam one?
The girly drinks attract me.

Ok. Try shutting off all devices at 11:00 then. Try reading a book, or listening to soft music.

the only thing I ever drank quickly was cabernet. I baby my bourbons pretty slowly.

Hmm I might try that but i don't trust myself enough and I know ill just get distracted

Just focus on relaxing. Take deep, slow breaths. This will work.

She's just playing mind games again. We're not compatible and wouldn't have much of a future together either, so it's good I caught on early.
All this weeb shit is pretty pathetic too.

As long as you enjoy it that's what matters. YOU FUCKING CUTIE.

Question are you a male or female

man, I'm sorry to hear that. at least you know and can move on now, yeah?
I'm not cute.

Ok, I'm going to work. Thanks for hosting the Thread!
Goodnight, and sleep well, my friend!

later.

Jill status: cute

Okay, I might message you on Discord in a couple days, I don't feel comftorable emailing. Sorry to waste your time.

you're not wasting my time, hon.

lucky you, i can grow a full bush from shaved in a week. i got a handful of small cuts on and around my asshole from trying to shave the forest in my crack. i wish i was you with your prepubescent non growth.

Are you a female or a male

i need to know this for uhh research reasons

sorry to disappoint you bud, i'm packin' a dong.

Written down

im doing research my guy

Sorry for getting weird there, I'm kind of a slut.
Got any plans?

some studying, hot shower, probably watching Predator movies.

Bomp

Oi barkeep, how about a shot of happy thoughts to help make it through a week of rain .

no need. if no one needs advice, then the thread can die.
rainy weeks are some of the best times to stay inside and watch a movie or read a book. grab some hot cocoa and power through the netflix queue.
that's my excuse for staying inside, at least.

raining, snowing, too cold, too hot, too much pollen. all excellent excuses.

L-Lewd. What do you think of predator 2?

and that's why I never leave my room.
no idea! I haven't seen any of them yet. I just like to watch the previous movies before crossovers, and I've been watching the Alien movies recently. need to finally watch Predator before AvP.

Fair enough. Thanks Jill

Ohhh I hope you like em! Im a big alien fan, I shit on AvP but honestly it was fun.

no worries, user.
I'll hope it's fun, yeah. Alien movies really went downhill after the second, but still had a bit of nice stuff to them.

I would like to hear your opinion on alien covenant. I saw it recently and its an experience.

once I watch it, for sure. I've been told it was a bit of a disappointment, but the main complaint I heard was "it's more of the same", and I'm cool with that.

It has cool scenes, but they are few and far between, like it has a great horror sequence in a shower. Like once. :(

Do I buy it Jill?

no one needs one.
if you really want one, I guess you could. I'd be worried about, yknow... losing things internally.

I was thinking of pushing beads through it so I can pull them out by the string. But I feel like you didn't want that information.

that would make more sense, I guess. still, it's just a little kinkier than I'd put in me.