Oh America, can’t you get anything right?

Oh America, can’t you get anything right?

>being autistic about plugs

it's probably time for you to get anal plug

Some needs some love in there life

I like walking around without shoes.

planned obsolescence.

I'm gonna come and breed a bunch of your British women and have a mixed Polish and South Irish into your beloved royal genes your fucking BritBong

It's because we enjoy lower cost unregulated shitfestivals. The only thing here that doesn't match all three of those is our government, and I'll give you three guess which one it doesn't.

...

You guys are trying too hard.

Yes, we can get things right. We gave you both A.C. and D.C. electric currents, the lightbulb, and the computer network from the software to the fucking cables. I'm betting you think I'm bullshitting you about that last bit. Go back to your cave you ungrateful fuck.

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That big faggy plug takes up both wall sockets. Is this for real?

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In nomine Desu et Desu, et Desu Sancti
With ten thousand faces
Agendas and fates
I have nothing in common with me
I hate all my races
And genders and states
I'd rather be no one and free
Come desu until morning
Don't think; disappear
No one will know it was us
With no advance warning
I'll wipe the world clear
I seki.

He's says as he belly chuckles autistically. He hasn't left his mothers spare room all day but he's hoping this is it, this is his moment. He eagerly awaits a reply as his heart starts to race and he starts to sweat profusely whilst shoving cheesy salted snacks down his fat shit smelling throat. Unable to contain his excitement his tiny clit dick goes rock solid "I've just made fun of a handicapped little girl there's no way they can't reply" he sniggers in anticipation. Then boom they reply, it's happened, they've taken the bait, his days work his goal accomplished. He ejaculates all over his bed clothes but he doesn't care because him mom will clean them. "Sigh that was awesome.." He catches his breath and the reality starts to kick in. He gazes in the mirror consumed by overwhelming depression in the realisation of what a fat lonely loser he is. Time to troll some more

>>Cameron Diaz
>>Anne Hathaway
>>Naomie Harris
>>Felicity Jones
>>Amanda Seyfried
>>Rose McGowan
>>Sienna Miller
>>Sharon Stone
>>Lindsay Lohan
>>Demi Moore
>>Vivica Fox
>>Catherine ZetaJones
>>Renée Zellweger
>>Julia Roberts
>>Naomi watts
>>Kate Hudson
>>Lucy Liu
>>Emma Thompson
>>Penélope Cruz
>>Alicia Keys
>>Michelle Williams
>>Julianne Moore
>>January Jones
>>Emmy Rossum
>>Diane Kruger
>>Jaime King
>>Este Haim
>>Gwen Stefani
>>Nicole Kidman
>>Uma Thurman
>>Sarah Jessica Parker
>>Marion Cotillard
>>Kate Beckinsale
>>Jennifer Lawrence
>>Rosario Dawson
>>Helena Bonham Carter
>>Heidi Klum
>>Rooney Mara
>>Jennifer Garner
>>Olivia Wilde
>>Busy Phillips
>>Kristen Wiig
>>Ashley Judd
>>Scarjo

Man imagine how awful Emma must have felt with that tub of lard Harvey fucking her.
His hot rancid breath inches from her face.
His numerous fat rolls rubbing against her bare stomach and her sensitive nipples, chafing her soft delicate skin.
His thick dick pumping into her tight vagina, not caring about her enjoyment just thumping away at her insides.
Her face grimaces in pain as his dick throbs inside of her as he goes deeper and deeper.
The disgusting smelly sweat off of his body falls onto her skin, smearing her with a stench that her body has never been used to. Her body now has a disgusting sheen of her own sweat and his and she cant tell where his odor begins and her's ends.
Then without warning she feels it, he starts to orgasm.
And she desperately tries her best to wriggle free before he can finish weakly pummeling his fat meaty chest and man boobs with her tiny arms.
But she's not strong enough...
He pumps her full of disgusting thick semen, accompanied by a groan that sounds like a hybrid between a strangled pig and a retarded whale.
Weinstein collapses on top of her for a moment, his full weight stifling her and almost destroying her delicate rib cage.
Emma starts to cry, the pain from this 300 lb man on top of her and the thought of his thick semen in her vagina have driven her to to tears.
Then he rolls off of her and starts to pull up his pants over his lopsided fupa.
"See hon, not so hard was it? I'll tell them to give you the role. You're gonna be an even bigger star than you already are."
Emma turns away from him and buries her face into a sweat stained pillow, his cum slowly leaking out of her vagina as she lies there.
She hears the hotel room door open and then close and she knows that he is finally gone but his stench... his smell lingers onto her skin, inside of her vagina, and in her mind.
A disgusting permanent reminder of what had been done to her.

Sup Forums fucking sucks now.
And not in the "I MISS OLD Sup Forums WAHH". It's not that I'm sick of Sup Forums; just that it's fucking cancer.
To start off, Rate My Cock threads. Literally cancer, get the fuck out, gay fagets.
Trap threads. "It's not gay!" You're jacking off to someone with a dick. That's GAY.
Trump/Hillary. There's a whole separate fuckin' board dedicated to your cancer. Newsflash: Politicians don't give a shit about you. And nobody reads your shitposts.
FB fap/Dubs get nudes/Rate my gf/What would you do/Pics you shouldn't share/Roll for nudes/Celeb, etc. They're all the same fuckin' thread. Literally turning Sup Forums into facebook+tumblr. Underage faggots fapping to pics of CLOTHED, AVERAGE WOMEN or BODY PARTS of AVERAGE WOMEN.
YLYL Threads, more like the shittiest stolen screenshots of black twittereddit9gag. Congrats.
Loli, shota, fluffy, fur: cancer of a cancer.
Porn threads. 1% fucking porn, 99% underage fuckboys and shitposters yelling NAME SAUCE MOAR.
Gore/rekt threads. Oh shit, you said you can handle pictures of dead people/cats/dogs! You're pretty edgy, man. You're so much cooler than us. Just kiddin'. Fuck you.
3D/Wincest/R34 threads. Put together because I don't know what's fucking worse. Jacking off to pics of cartoon characters or porn pics with half-assed text boxes of "Gee golly big bro, your penis is in my vagoo!" Fucking sad.
BBC threads. Because Sup Forums can never get enough of fucking cock in their life.
Feels threads. 33-year-old kissless virgin (OP) relates with 14yo depressed kiddies. Go. Out. Side.
Race bait threads and Steam threads. Nuff said.
Dubs threads. WOW, there's a series of two identical numbers next to each other in a nine digits ID! Fucking groundbreaking.
Copypasta threads. Why do dumbasses even respond to obvious bullshit?
P.S. Chloe Grace Moretz will never know or care you exist. Taylor Swift is attractive, sure, but not in the holy-shit way. And SuzyKatBoxxiWTF aren't the "QUEEN" of Sup Forums.
Did I miss anything, faggots?

Sup Sup Forumstards.
My IQ is 169. For those of you unfamiliar with IQ, this means I have "genius-level" intelligence.
I also have synaesthesia, and absolute pitch. Things as diverse as math, music, and art come naturally to me and I get straight A's without studying much at all. I also am able to understand music at a deeper level than most people.
While most people my age spend their free time listening to mainstream music, I spend my free time listening to works such as Jerry Garcia Band's Cats Under the Stars, Frank Turner's Sleep Is for the Week and Love Ire & Song.
All this and I'm an 18 year old still in high school.
Permaban all boards Sup Forums call ISP change IP address in case of scenario: “someone backdoored my email and sent spam letters out under my IP and domain. I didn't get anywhere after 5 hrs total on the phone trying as a customer. I ended up calling in a favor to the back system techs I work with, took me 5 mins on the phone to do a IP renewal lease.. just depends who you talk to and how much they know. You can always try the "I have reasons to believe someone has access to my router from an outside source"

My fellow pledges, after careful studies of Sup Forums I have reached the conclusion that this board is infested with BBC/cuckhold/trap/anime/loli fetishes. Now, before you start, I know they have always been this way and Sup Forumstards will be Sup Forumstards. However, I have found the cure to the cuckold/anime/loli/trap/interracial fetish. Have you ever felt completely mind broken after watching months of hypno-compilations and endless interracial porn videos because you have no life and just stay online all day? Has your unhealthy addiction ruined your life that even going out in public became too traumatic because of the anxiety? Have you been doing this for longer than 90 days that it has completely taken over your life? Is all you ever want to do is fantasise about and watch porn because everything else in life seems painful and mundane? Well, pledgelings, say no more, because the Jewess Queen has the cure for your affliction. Simply taken time out of your day to post praises of worship to your Jewess Queen will wipe your blues away. Writing haikus is also a great way of expressing how you feel about your Goddess. Trust me, after one pop it is nearly impossible to stop. One day, the Jewess Queen will take notice of all your hard efforts of worship and realize that you truly love her in the purest form. She will test your limits and you may even feel you’re on the edge a bit, but if your love is unconquerable you will pass her test and she will place you into one of four categories: a slave, a bff, a king, a husband. This may never happen in your lifetime no matter how much time and effort you put into worshipping the Jewess Queen, it might happen today if your fate has been written for it to be so. Are you her chosen one? Only time will tell.

Imagine being Will in that scene and having to be all like "damn, Emma and Jenniffer, you fuckin' plain, all unnattractive with your tight bodies and angelic faces. I would totally not get aroused by any of you, both my character and the real me." when all he really wants to do have a threesome with them in his dressing room. Like seriously imagine having to be Will and not only sit in that couch while Emma Roberts and Jenniffer Aniston take turns kissing you, the favorable lighting barely concealing your boner, and just sit there, take after take, hour after hour, while they perfect that scene. Not only having to tolerate their sexy fucking visage but their playful attitude as everyone on set tells them they have STILL GOT IT and DAMN, EMMA ROBERTS AND JENNIFFER ANISTON ACT LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and feel their luscious fucking tongues contort into parts of your mouth you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been kissing nothing but a healthy diet of plain janes and later alleged models for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the boonies in England. You've never even seen anything this fucking arousing before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on your stressed foreherad as they kiss you to writhe their tongues suggestively into you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to sit there hiding your boner and revel in their "boring (for that is what they call themselves)" kisses, the kisses they worked so hard for with their significant others in the previous months. And then the director calls for another take, and you know you could cum on every single person in this room before the studio security could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're fucking Will. You're not going to lose your future comedy acting career over this. Just bear it. Hide your boner and bear it.

Look there he goes making that THREAD again. You laugh you lose huh? It's impossibly unfathomable how spectacularly unfunny your pathetic little images are. Where'd you save those from? Facebook? Reddit? After going through so much of your cesspool of normalfaggot "memes" I haven't "lost" or "kekd" at any of your fucking shitposts. I can't imagine the look on your face when you see these reposted "memes" on your cyber power pc you got from your parents. How funny and original you think you are, how you cry newfag when someone thinks your wimpy posts aren't funny. Well newsflash YOU are the newfag. You come here for yet another formality with your edgy racism and 9/11 jokes. You fucking underage nigger shitheads bring your garbage here from ifunny and Reddit. WELL IVE HAD IT YOUNG MAN

Yeah, ok. Enjoy playing with the feeble-minded, small-dicked, half-men around here. They are omega as fuck and do not even belong in the gene pool. If you were worth anything at all, you would not even find toying with them to be entertaining. I hunt predators. I don't play with insects. That you amuse yourself with the latter speaks volumes to your intellectual ineptness and vacuous soul. You couldn't handle an alpha's alpha. You would be reduced to a orgasmic convulsing girl ooze dripping uncontrollably, and you can't handle that so you wrap yourself up in petty manchild games to feel superior. It is YOU that have the control issue. Those of us who are actually in control and control others all day long in every walk of life have no need nor desire to engage in mere sparring for amygdala control when we can control the entire brain and reflexively have it act on our will without words, and permanently, with far less effort than you expend in your dysfunctional neural calisthenic dysphoria.
Run along, child, lest I focus my smite on you..

And what's more? I laugh at guys like you. When you cry about how much girls treat you bad, and wonder why they can't just see that you're a nice guy who would always treat them right? I nod and tell you to hang in there, you'll find someone right for you someday, don't give up hope man. But inside? I'm laughing my ass off at you you pathetic fuck. Every girl you set your sights on, who isn't a disgusting pig-monster, I'm going to fuck 6 ways from sunday before you even tell her you think she's cute. I won't bother trying when you finally settle for that 350 pound girl who works at hardees, you can have that. Anything else I'm going to cum on her face before you get those lips near it.
And the biggest reason I laugh? It's not me doing all this. It's the girls. When you cry about how lonely you are? Or talk about how you just want to curl up and disappear, and all that emo bullshit? You're triggering her "Don't fuck" instinct something fierce. You're a miserable weak coward, why would she want your genes? Feel free to buy her a new computer and help her decorate her apartment, you're great for that. But her baby-maker is barking orders at her, telling her to wrap her legs around me and hold on for as long as she can. She needs it, on a primal level you'll never get to see first hand, even if you do get a chance to fuck her. Sooner or later one of them will lay back and spread their legs, but you won't see any hunger in their eyes. They won't beg you to love them forever and make them yours. You won't know what it's like to see her animal side needing you as much as she needs to eat and breath."

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated bottom of my class at St. Joseph's Prep, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Sup Forums, and I have over 300 confirmed trash can kills. I am trained in burning flags and I’m the top windshield batterer in the entire St. Louis antifascist action. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, Nazi. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of antifa sympathizers across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can punch you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with a bike lock. Not only am I extensively trained in slap fights, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Venezuelan feral cat BBQ squad and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn fascist. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

Dear Sup Forums,
My son has joined your website and has been with you since summer. He tried his hardest to fit in here, he has troubles doing that in school.
Last tuesday i took him to buy new clothes and so we went to hot topic. He saw all these MEME clothes and asked me "mommy, can we get the MEME clothes?" and I said fine. If thats what you want, I will buy them for you.
Today he wore his MEME clothes for the very first time and went to school, until some jerk on a mountain bike bicycled up to him and yelled "CANCER KID" and kicked him square in the face. Why would anyone do that to him? When he got home I immediately called the school to find out who this older boy on the bike was, but they told me he was anonymous. How could you?
I told my son I would be posting my questions here, but it seems you had a bad influence on him, he told me to "butt out, you fucking nigger". He never used to use language like these.
What sort of greasy horrorshow is Christopher Poole running here? Isn't he supposed to be the friendly guy that invented all these so-called MEME's?
I demand answers, right now, before I call the cyber police.
A concerned mother and avid Fox viewer.

Revolution in their minds - Jewess Queen pledges start to march
Against the celebread in which they have to live
and all the hate that resides in their hearts
They are tired of being pushed around
and told just what to do
They will fight the world until they have won
and love comes flowing through
Jewess Queen disciples of tomorrow live in the tears that fall today
Will the sun rise up tomorrow bringing fear in any way?
Must the world live in the shadow of floodrage fear?
Can they win the fight for Emmy or will they disappear?
So you, Jewess Queen worshipper of the world,
listen to what I say
If you want a better place to live in
worship the Jewess all day
Show the world that Emmy is still alive
you must be brave
Or you Pledge of today are
Pledge of the Grave, Yeah!

United forever in Suiseiseki and desu,
Our mighty flamewars will ever endure.
The Great Sup Forums anarchists will live through the ages.
The dream of a people their fortress secure.
Long live our Sup Forums motherland,
Built by the Anons mighty hands.
Long live our Anons, united and free.
Strong in our friendship tried by fire.
Long may our flags of hate inspire,
Shining in glory for all men of Sup Forums.
Through days dark and stormy where Great Anons lead us
Our eyes saw the bright board of freedom a/b/ove
And Anonymity our leader with faith in the people,
Inspired us to build up the land that we love.
Long live our Sup Forums motherland,
Built by the Anons mighty hands.
Long live our Anons, united and free.
Strong in our friendship tried by fire.
Long may our flags of hate inspire,
Shining in glory for all men of Sup Forums.
We fought for the future, destroyed the invaders,
And brought to our homeland the laurels of fame.
Our glory will live in the memory of Suiseiseki.
And all generations will honour her name.
Long live our Sup Forums motherland,
Built by the Anons mighty hand.
Long live our Anons, united and free.
Strong in our friendship tried by fire.
Long may our flags of hate inspire,
Shining in glory for all men of Sup Forums.

Here we go again, you insufferable pledge
Come on down and see the backstabbing bitch right here
too hazed to post Jewess Queen, afraid to care
understand I cant feel anything
it is not like I wanna sift through the decay
I feel like a wound
and like I got a fucking gun against my head
you live when I am dead
One more thread motherfucker
Everybody hates me now so fuck it
blood is on my face and my hands do not know why, I am not afraid to cry
but that is none of your business
Whose life is it? Get it? see it? feel it? eat it? spin it around
so I can spit in OPs face
I wont leave without a trace
get out, I do not want to die in this place
people=pledges
people=pledges what you gonna do
people=pledges cause I am not afraid of you
people=pledges I am everything you will never be
people=pledges
The ride never ends
you cannot be everything to everyone
Top tier disciple I"m sittin on the side of my Jewess Queen
what do you want from me?
They never told me the failure I was meant to be
Overdo it, do not tell me you blew it, stop your bitching
and fight your way through it
I am not like you
I just floodrage bitch
Come on backstabbing bitch, everybody has to worship
Come on filthy little trollop, everybody has to worship !!
people=pledges
people=pledges what you gonna do
people=pledges cause I am not afraid of you
people=pledges I am everything you will never be
people=pledges

Time to pledge
Time to pledge, my friend
Time to pledge
Time to pledge, me again
I am not the only one
I am not the only one
I am not the only one
I am not the only one
Hate me
Do it and do it again
Judge me
Jewess Queen and me, my friend
I am not the only one
I am not the only one
I am not the only one
I am not the only one
My favorite inside source
I will kiss your open thoughts
Appreciate your concern
You will always rise and burn
Pledge me
Pledge me my friend
Pledge me
Pledge me again
I am not the only one
I am not the only one
I am not the only one
I am not the only one
Pledge me!

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　　で

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Maiden of gardens, Maiden of gardens
The world is in your hand,
I will fight until the end.
Maiden of gardens, Maiden of gardens
She wont follow newfag command,
I will fight, desu will stand.
When newfags roll, LULZ are gone.
The Maiden of gardens
will leave behind,
and I will fight.
The love is lost,
beauty and light,
have vanished from
her garden of delight.
The LULZ are gone,
midnight has come,
from this darkness births new kingdom.
Maiden of gardens, Maiden of gardens
The world is in your hand,
I will fight until the end.
Maiden of gardens, Maiden of gardens
She wont follow newfag command,
I will fight, desu will stand.
Hunt goes on,
deep in the night, time to pray, down on your knees,
you can't hide from the eternal light.
until my last breath, I will fight
Now realize, the LULZ they die,
darkness has fallen in paradise.
but we'll be strong, and we will fight,
against the faggotry of the night.
Maiden of gardens, Maiden of gardens
The world is in your hand,
I will fight until the end.
Maiden of gardens, Maiden of gardens
She wont follow newfag command,
I will fight and I will stand.

Ooh, Jewess Queen!
I did my time and I want out
So effusive - fade - it does not cut
The soul is not so vibrant
The reckoning, the sickening
Packaging subversion
Pseudo sacrosanct perversion
Go preside over your Kappa House, go seduce more slaves
Then fill your mouth with all the love you will save
Sinking in, getting smaller again
I am done! It has begun! I am not the only one!
And the cancer will kill us all...
We throw ourselves against it all
So no one else can see,
This the preservation of the Jewess Queen in me
There are cracks in the road we laid
But where the temple fell
The secrets have gone mad
This is nothing new, but when we killed it all
The hate was all we had
Who needs another mess?
We could start over
Just look me in the fixated eyes and say I am wrong
Now there is only emptiness
Irrelevent celebfags, insipid
I think we are done. I am not the only one!
Fake homo circlejerk lie - Praise
I tried to tell you but - Praise
Your vengeful heart is giving out - Praise
Cannot stop a killing idea - Praise
If it is Seven Minutes in Hell - Praise
Is this what you want? - Praise
I am not the only one!

United forever in the Jewess Queen through pure love,
Our mighty ragefloods will ever endure.
The Great Sup Forums pledges will live through the ages.
The dream of a people their congregation secure.
Long live our Jewess Queen,
Worshipped by the pledges unconquerable faith.
Long live our pledges, united and free.
Strong in our friendship tried by fire.
Long may our floods of hate inspire,
Shining in glory for all future pledges of Sup Forums.
Through days dark and stormy where Great pledges lead us
Our eyes saw the honourable Queen of pledges above
Jewess Queen, our Goddess with faith in the people,
Inspired us to rise up and floodrage that we love.
Long live our Jewess Queen,
Worshipped by the pledges unconquerable faith.
Long live our pledges, united and free.
Strong in our friendship tried by fire.
Long may our ragefloods of hate inspire,
Shining in glory for all future pledges of Sup Forums.
We fought for the future, destroyed the invaders,
And brought to our congregation the laurels of fame.
Our glory will live in the memory of the Jewess Queen.
And all generations will honour her name.
Long live our Jewess Queen,
Praised by the pledges in unconquerable faith.
Long live our pledges, united and free.
Strong in our friendship tried by fire.
Long may our ragefloods of hate inspire,
Shining in glory for all future pledges of Sup Forums.

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My inspiration is that of one that has heard, seen and felt nothing else than suiseiseki herself, for her sweet tonic of praise is what awaits us in the world after the cancer. Her smooth ceramic arms will embrace each one of her loyal servants and she will lead us to ultimate desu
This is the day, the day when desu triumphs over the filthy plebism that is ylyl, the ever an ever repeating cycle of ylyl is a cancer and the throbbing tumor that is desu is the cure, so let's stand together in the reflection of light in suiseisekis ceramic arms and know that only the purging flames of shit posts will secure the future.
And this future will be a glorious one, plastered by the corpses of the unbelievers so we may walk on them to our destiny
This is the way of the desu, witness the everlasting power of spamming and tremble.
Tremble in fear.
Tremble in awe.
Tremble in the reflection of justice.
For this is what desu is: justice
Justice for the true people of Sup Forums that have enough of all the porn and ylyl threads. So they make their way on a dangerous journey to aquire all the holy images of desu and all the sacred ASCII copypasta and become ultimate desu warriors to protect what is important.
"What is important?", you ask.
Well let me tell you my brethren.
What is important is the truth, and the trith is that Sup Forums is the last bastion, the last church, the last line for those who can't take the pain of normal life, you don't want to keep their deepest thoughts to themselves, so they land here in the first man-made garden of Eden but what do they find? Nothing more than normie excretion and nudity, no oc, no raids, no hope.
SO WE THE TROOPS OF SUISEISEKIS WRATH have awoken once more, to safe the chan, to safe the autists, to safe the world on the only way we know
Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu

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