ITT: We describe movies badly and others guess what they are

ITT: We describe movies badly and others guess what they are.

>"It puts the lotion on its skin!"
>Bad guy is a psychopath who tucks his peepee between his legs
>He's making a people skin coat
>Damn this guy is scary. He could be a video game's final boss.

Two autistic men go on an adventure in a sandwhich.

Contribute to your own thread, fag.
>A few guys romp around france
>kaboom

Killing Zoe?

Nope

>incorrectly quotes on of the best quotes from the movie
Good job fucknut, its Silence of the Lambs, how original

Saving Private Ryan

>Contribute to your own thread, fag.
What the fuck do you think I've been doing?

Transporter?

Silence of the lambs

Pink Panther

>posts wrong movie
>corrects someone about dialogue

Meant in the original post. My b. And no
Nope

>someone's killing the suits
>dong

Good guess, but no.

>A gang of beaners chimp out and kill a fellow beaner
>It's the wrong beaner
>But even if they killed the right one, it would have technically been the wrong one
>Because this is a sequel with a different lead actor
>Most people never saw the first in the series and don't realize this is a sequel

Inglorious bastards?

>Man with posh English accent wears his hair in a pony tail
>Someone gets stabbed with an unusual object
>Annoying ginger girl has bad credit
>But here's some salt water

Describes two very different movies released within one year of one another. One literally, one figuratively. List both if you're the fucking man.

Desperado

The SpongeBob SquarePants movie?

Honestly, I have no idea what the movie is, it sounds pretty much like Silence of the Lambs. I'm assuming your last clue is the one that gives it away, but I still don't know

Winrar

Yes

>I'm assuming your last clue is the one that gives it away, but I still don't know
You couldn't be more right about that!

>Guys squat in house
>concert, party
>daddy issues
>crazy friends/acquaintances introduced
>friend dies
>becomes square oldfag

>A stern looking man is informed, to his stoic disappointment, that his desired purchase is not in stock
>He takes the news hard
>The store clerk takes the news even harder

Fight Club

Oh, I mean SLC Punk. That fits better than Fight Club.

No

>A kike shows a nigger his balls
>Did I mention his oneitis does porn and appreciates a good money shot?

I'll be more specific about who the nigger is if I need to give a hint, but I bet someone gets it just from this.

Yes!

Lonely guy gets job
Only works nights
Sleeps or visits porn theaters durning the day.
Becomes detached from society.
Finds purpose in life.
Buys guns.
Shoots bad guys.
Tries to an hero but fails.
Becomes a hero.

Woohoo!

Okay, I'll try

> guy with serious mental problems gets a haircut
> some bitches upset the status quo
> promised land is lost
> mutants ascend

Falling Down?

Correct

>Terminally ill malaria patient is played by surprisingly robust American actor
>People shoot at the enemy with a chain gun. They just don't realize which enemy it is.

taxi driver

Great fucking movie, btw. Good choice. I like it when people choose lesser known movies. It makes these threads way more challenging.

That does fit perfectly, now that you mention it. But the movie I'm thinking of is a lot more famous.

>A young goose hates da joos
>Swastika.jpg
>But he knows not to eat chicken with milk
>Also, the fag from Titanic wears a nice wig

American History X?

This sounds like a spoof film, or a film that heavily borrows from SotL, another hint would be nice

No. The guy from Titanic is in that? Who does he play?

taxi driver

Easy mode:
>two guys hanging out
>on a particular day of the week

Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Jeepers Creepers

friday.

>Cuz it makes me feel like I'm a man
>When I put a spike into my vein

>This sounds like a spoof film, or a film that heavily borrows from SotL
Obv.

>another hint would be nice
Remember that movie where Rocky never broke the law, he is the law? He's the main bad guy there. Also, you're probably thinking of the wrong movie now as well. That's why these are bad descriptions.

No.

Friday/Next Friday/Friday After Next

No he's not, it was a terrible guess

>two dudes
>one of them is an autistic creep
>mexican zombies

pretty ez I think?

Bill and ted?

Jesus' Son
or
The Doors (Heroin plays in the background when Jim meets Andy Warhol)

Correct
And shit, you're not making this easy

Terminator

The odd couple

Dude where's my car?

hospital blows up.
black worm slithers into eyes.
Redhead need rescuing.

Dumb and dumber!

Nah, but its already been figured out

Here's one that stumped EVERYONE yesterday. I'm updating it with one more hint, even though I really shouldn't have to.

>Fraternal siblings perform their duty as hoc proctologists
>Glaring misnomer regarding the color of a main character's hair
>A main character, as in one over several; not THE main character.

That's one of the Resident Evil movies, right?

Correct, pretty much gave it away.

no, my friend.

>One over several? What the fuck? Did I just get autocorrected? Now I have to delete that and post a version without a typo.

>I'm addicted
>Now I'm not
>Woops I am
>Now I'm not
>Now I am
>But not really

Alright, here's one that stumped everyone for ages despite being a famous movie.


>Fraternal siblings perform their duty as hoc proctologists
>Glaring misnomer regarding the color of a main character's hair
>A main character, as in one of several; not THE main character

>a pill popping Hollywood stuntman decides to go out with a bang
>by bang I mean a really shitty sex car jump

Come on, no one?

Okay, here's another hint

> skinheads see each other a lot

>dude takes a load in the face
>and is forever changed

Permanent Midnight
Drugstore Cowboy
et cetera

That basically describes any movie about addiction/addicts.

Deathproof?

The Phantom

Junky jedi

Jesus...it's fucking Joe Dirt!!

Plus I got dubs, so you know it's true

Death Race 2000

See if Sup Forums knows the classics.

>woman steals money
>woman tries to go away
>dies
>sister of woman starts to investigate
>finds scary man with mommy isues.

Fight Club
The Jacket
any other movie where someone gets shot in the face

You figured out which guy from Titanic I'm describing! Well, only one of them is bald. But no, not The Phantom.

I think the first clue gives it all away, really. Someone got it yesterday just from that even though they had never seen the movie. Why would a young goose wear a swastika?

FINALLY!

You have succeeded where others have failed. Kudos, user.

It was Joe Dirt. The video game villain was Shao Kahn (Brian Thompson).

Fuck, that sounds like a black and white movie my mother used to watch.

No one ever gets this
> Troubled psychic raped by her dad and his scary friend.
> His scary friend borrows her dad's face.

From Dusk Til Dawn

Psycho

Nah, he wasn't shot in the face by a gun, but something else

The movie is in black and white so could be.

That's because it's a movie we've never seen. You could write a ten line description and no one would get it. It sucks but that's how it is.

Try this: take a super famous movie everyone has seen and write a description of it that fucks everyone up.

Yes!

there's something about mary

Yep.

face/off
easy

>Nerdy underage b& girl doesn't understand whose fingers to fuck.
>Pedobear kidnaps her little loli sister
>Nerdy girl falls in love with a different rapist
>A comedy

Yes! I knew someone would get it

The Exorcist

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me

Lol, good guess, but you're pretty far off. Hint?

A cop fakes its own death to take a rest from the nutjobs, then his kid is happy to see him alive as well as that man upon the stairs.

>Hint?
Yes, please.

>fat guy wants a grill he can eat dairy products with

Its a sci-fi

yes!

>A Keanu Reeves movie not starring Keanu Reeves
>Movie written for him in which he doesn't appear on screen, nor is he mentioned by name
>Literally impossible for the movie to have originally been about anyone else
>I said literally, not figuratively. This isn't a Pauly Shore stupid stoner movie.

Alien

>vagina faced weirdo fights conan

>guy goes to nuthouse
>not sure if crazy.
>befriends other crazies.
>head nurse is total bitch.
>steps outa line.
>they turn him into a plant.
>dies.

Nope

No Country for Old Men
The Big Lebowski

I have no idea. It just feels like a Coen brothers film.