D&D game

>D&D game
>no players are PC (politically correct, not "player character")
>friend wants to roll a female nigger fighter or barbarian
>tempted to tell him to add 1 to STR and minus 1 to INT
>he's half black but has a great sense of humor
>think massive lullz may ensue
>should I?

Do it

>XD

No clue about D&D fire it up I'm bored as fuck

if he looks mad about it say the -1 int is a class penalty
nice trips btw

>nice trips btw
ty XD

stop that

X===D~(.)(.)

general D&D thread?

I love D&D greentexts...

on my first actual campaign now, we've had some pretty silly shit go down
>party starts with a Tiefling trap warlock, chaotic neutral
>fucks everyone in towns we go to and tries to corrupt our party to Belial
>after coming back to our starting town post-quest, he goes to a magic shop with our fighter
>one of them tries to buy a bag of holding, and the at least 80 yr old shopkeep man accidentally gives them a bag of devouring
>he immediately puts the bag over his head and decapitates him
>4 town guards show up and he manages to roll good enough charisma to fuck all of them so they'll let it slide
>while this is happening our fighter loots the old man's shop and takes everything of value
too bad they're both dead now

what a beautiful train wreck

moar pls

>too bad they're both dead now
how'd they go?

they both got killed by some giant cave ogre that nearly fucked our whole party up, but the Fighter got revived by our cleric. however he died again by getting beaten to death by my like 14 yr old nephew and his street gang
I got one more off the top of my head, typing it up now but posting to keep the thread bumped

>we have two halflings, a cleric and a druid, both female
>the druid was really good friends with the fighter and goes a little nutty after he dies
>this went down as our town was being taken over by basically a bunch of templars for the god Bahamut (who my monk is on very bad terms with)
>the druid, for reasons I could not discern, uses her cloak of invisibility to take the same bag of devouring taken off our fighters stuff to assassinate the commander of the templars in broad daylight via bag decapitation
>as she is stuffing his entire body into the bag some templars start to lose their shit
>her goblin companion Mish-Mash anticipates combat and casts a spell that makes her 6'4" but with the proportions of a halfling still
>the person who played the fighter is now a vampire bard, who disguises himself as the commander and manages to convince the templars that nothing is wrong
>as thats going down I'm smoking silverweed with the trap player who is now a dwarven skeleton in my cousin's herb shop, mostly hiding from the templars since they tried to jack our cart earlier and we managed to grab it from right under them
the only thing that seemed to come of it is some really badly drawn wanted posters in the next town we got to

>as thats going down I'm smoking silverweed with the trap player who is now a dwarven skeleton in my cousin's herb shop
>a dwarven skeleton in my cousin's herb shop

I’ve always wanted to get into d&d but i hear the online mmorpg is trash...what do /b?

find a group to play with, I can only imagine it being fun around a table

>get mates
>get a rulebook like 3.5 or 5th edition
>read it
>get someone with a good sense of humour to DM it for you
Don't play any vidya versions of DnD, it's just not the same.

I've done it over Skype (back when it was good) with friends before, but most of them already had experience with Pen & Paper before so it was easy to translate over. The trick was making sure everyone was trustworthy to not fudge their rolls.

it's always more fun in person

the physicality of sharing a room with someone cannot be beaten

there's literally a physiological element to laughing with others that is really good for your health

I have very few mates and the ones i do have are anti-d&d, rpg shit so looks like i he fucked i war recommended to get something like table top simulator but i also hear thats bad

This thread died relatively quick

no

tripzzz

bump for greentext

...

^

-2 int for female aswell

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This reminded me of one time of me hosting a D&D campaign to my memey friends:

>one player decides to play Half-Orc rogue who's skin is dark af
>goes full strength
>puts no points in intelligence
>proficient in stealth, intimidation and sleight of hand
>lore is that he lived in a slum and stole for living
>charcter name: Negrorg

>another player declares he wants to play as a "human nigger"
>he picks human bard
>has dark skin
>characters background: half swedish, half immigrant faggot cuck
>inserts his name in "nigger name translator"
>character name: Jafreeze

>the whole roleplaying experience was that Jafreeze was trying to get Negrorg into fucking him in the ass while Negrorg was super autistic the whole time

>Negrorg
>Jafreeze
>my sides

bump for more greentext

Last encounter was pretty bad.
>The party
>Chaotic neutrals: Human Fighter and Dwarf Ranger
> Neutral Good Human Druid/barbarian multiclass
>Me, Lawful Evil Tiefling Bard

>Party had to investigate some haunted mausoleum outside of town.
>Ranger and Fighter had a brawl in town and burned down the tavern but blamed it on some NPCs. Only the mayor knew it was them so we were given this quest.
>He also sent us with an NPC guide to show us the mausoleum. The mayor makes it clear that if we don't return with him we're dead men.
>Go inside mausoleum and trigger a pitfall trap that the NPC gets caught in and dies. At this point we already forgot his significance.
> go around the trap and further into grave. Find and kill a couple skeletons
>skip forward to the deepest part of the mausoleum we find a necromancer using a magic obsidian skull to summon undead
>fight goes really badly and we almost lose both the ranger and fighter.
>Using my charming bardic abilities I convince the necromancer to work with us and slaughter the town for more minions.
>Druid disagrees with that idea. In response he uses a broken spell (conjure woodland beings) to call pixies and gets them to turn himself a t rex. Which fails because we were underground and his T rex form just turns into meat and crushes the pixies and the necromancer ( but not the other PCs for bullshit mystic reasons)
>We leave the mausoleum and while nobody was looking I stole the obsidian skull for myself. Not sure what to do with it.

moar

Well that's it until tomorrow night's game. But it's not the worst I've done in a game.
> 2nd game of DnD ever
>playing Chaotic Good Half Elf 2 weap ranger
> fighting Kobolds with party
> I keep fucking up my hits on the one I'm killing doing only 1-2 points
>Eventually it fumbles it's weapon, I kick it away on my turn
> Kobold tries punching but fails
> I kick it over so it's prone and it uses its turn to get up and fail to hit me then I do it again
>all the other kobolds are dead and the other PCs are annoyed at me bullying it and dragging on the fight. The kobold sees all its friends are dead and starts crying
>My character pulls out a hand puppet to cheer it up. I tell the other players I'll make it a pet. I lied.
>Character uses his off hand to stab it in the back and kill it. DM declares my character Chaotic evil.

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