Ask God Anything

Ask God Anything.

>The Devil is the architect of death and destruction.

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Why is OP a fag?

got gay on the mind?

No I'm not. I am not responsible for the bad things humans do. I am only a fallen angel, who is in love with Detective.

I would but since God doesnt exist I'd only be asking faggot OP a question. Who gives a fuck about OP anyways

If you created the Devil, with full foreknowledge of what he would become/do, doesn't that make YOU the architect of death and destruction? In creating a universe in which death and destruction are possibilities, you literally invented death and destruction.

You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house.

God created the devil. Why should i trust god?

can you create a rock that you can't move?

Nothing ever really dies or is destroyed by default. It just goes into dreamland and comes back to the land of the living.
thankyou
I didn't create the devil. The devil has always existed just as everyone else. I just keep him close by.
no

God? Would you please take bipolar back? Or at least depression? It's stolen the love of my life away. Thanks.

bipolar is a symptom of royalty as is depression. I'd have to denounce the love of your life as royalty. sorry.

Are you a bible god? or your own creation god?

>no
Then you're not God.

Well. It was worth a shot. At least now I know what causes it. Thanks btw for pizza, cats & Maynard James Keenan.

Why does everyone I love end up leaving me

How can i get grass stains out of my carpet?

What's prior, your intellect or your will?

>Ask God Anything.
> >The Devil is the architect of death and destruction.
...aaaaaand The Devil, creator (architect) of all things created The Devil. ;p

Yes, and then instantly be able to move it because omnipotence, yo.

Should I shoot myself before or after Christmas?

I'm all Gods
But the old testament has my willpower
'While the new testament has words from my mouth
I'm also Buddha
Was once a famous Human Hayreddin 'Redbeard' Barbarossa
I can move planets
What's not godlike about that?
She'll get through it
You're welcome
No worries
I live to invent for the people.
youtube that shit
he just likes killing
Does your politics line up with kill or be killed, exile or be exiled? Because that's dreamland for you.

Dear god, lately my oven has been making this clicking noise whenever i turn it up past 400 degrees, it doesnt smell like gas though, should i be worried?

You might just be an asshole.

Am a lesser demon & I say after. Xmas 2087.

Will she make a move? Cause i am too proud/afraid of rejection to

A natural effect of free will is that one can make wrong choices.
The devil did his choice with full knowledge of what would come to pass and so he will forever be unforgiven.
More than 99% of creation can be saved in the end, on timescales of this level, his actions are little more than a quick bugfix.

as far as I know I'm the spark that caused the big bang
probably should get your handyman uncle to have a look at it.
Girls rarely make moves on men that they mean to.
You should just keep hinting at it without confronting the idea.
The question you should ask is when should you kiss her?

Always after. but really you should do it sometime in January because you don't want to ruin peoples Christmas and new years.

>she
Fuck no, women are passive unless drunk as shit, man the fuck up.

Can you make a rock you can't move?

yes but after building the strength to make it I would soon have the strength to move it.

Prior makes no sense in this context.
There is no prior or posterior, it just is.
Outside of time and space there is the eternal.

This makes the most sense. January it is.

Will my anus get ever unwrecked? The last black guy really messed it up in there

Im not tho

Yo god, i hate flying on airplanes because i always get headaches. What over the counter medication would you recommend for, lets say, a 6 hour domestic flight?

Why does my life suck? Can I just kill myself and be able to live happily in the afterlife?

Hay god. What came first the chicken or the egg?

Idk about that. I'm pushy as hell & guys tend to be more passive that I've noticed.

I hope things look a lot less bleak for you before that time comes.

Hey, God. Still a winner?. K'!

True, thots take all they can get.

Depends on how you define what a chicken or egg is.

Have you tried melatonin to sleep through the flight?

Try the chew able 10s and take some liquid gel Advil 500mg or higher.

Pretty much all the religions besides the ISIS one says suicide is bad.

you're welcome in my kingdom
just meditate
and Jesus will be along shortly to escort you to my castle.
Remember to order anything you want to eat.
REmember you can't drink water or look at light down there though.
It might be able to do something about with science in a few decades.
when I think like that I think of the beatles song where it goes something along the lines the guy blew his brains out but didn't realise the light had already turned green.
the chicken is just an offshoot from another animal. So the question to ask is at what point was it a chicken and did that mutation come from an egg at all?
both sexes are passive
it's that little spark that brings them together.
me too
yes? hahaha
thots are just lost
you beat me to it
advil

Hinting at it seems like the semi autistic way to go, gonna do it.
Also i am in a position of power so its not that weird that she would initiate. Not sure if just wants to be associated with me cuz of muh reputation or actually dumb enough to like me

That's not an answer. That is a deflection.

The fact that God has killed more than the Devil says otherwise, goy.

I always wanted you got to give me the magic hand give me the power to just by thinking of it to make a pile of cash appear in front of me. I tried so many times....theres no god after all

yeah plus without the devil we wouldn't have drugs so fuck god

Ever heard of evolution?
The chicken and egg of now is not the same as it was yesterday, the river of time is always flowing.

Dear god, i cannot stop eating hotdogs. But i keep getting mustard all over my face and it makes it hard to talk to women. How can i get better at talking to women so they dont notice the mustard?

That must be it.

ok
no he means evolution
oh no I do my best to keep life and life improvement as my base guide
lolhahaha keep trying and look at other methods while you're at it.
yes
bring a tissue
thots are more talk than fuck

Ok? I don't get to meet her very often give me something here God. What do i do? She is 9/10 if i don't hit it someone else may

>when I think like that I think of the beatles song where it goes something along the lines the guy blew his brains out but didn't realise the light had already turned green.
I'm not good at understanding any sort of hidden meaning. Just tell me if I should kill myself

DO NOT "hint".
It makes you look like a bitch, just fucking talk to her and escalate, like touching her when you laugh together or something and then gradually upping the ante, if she gets creeped out, it means she is not attracted and you have to move on or you went to deep too fast, this also applies to flirting. Never back down if she reacts to something, own yourself.

go back to lux faggot

If the devil never acted in defiance, no one would have died, it is a consequence of his actions that we are in the situation we are in, but it will be ok in the end.

youtube.com/watch?v=UIo8hzRJFio&list=RDUIo8hzRJFio

Why are muslims such assholes?

how far away from you does she live? Invite her to barbeques with friends. Show her life with you would be pretty good. Show her what is in your life. If you just want a one night stand, ask her to meet you in a carpark. If you want to get good at fucking her. Take her out with your friends. Initiate the friend zone and once in a while hint that you're interested in taking it further.
while in a multitude of words it is impossible to avoid sin. One should not explicitly sin. Murder or death and destruction of any kind is a sin against the energy flow of the universe. But hey I smoke a pack a day.
don't tell him to grope her.
touching while talking is so mechanical and robotic and unsincere
tbh without the devil and his crew, we could all be superman.
idk that

People who have survived jumping from the golden gate bridge to kill themselves say that the second they jump, it becomes real and all problems they thought they had become nothing compared to the surface of the water that is now rapidly approaching.

Dear god my girlfriend has a penis. Is this normal? And can i still marry her as long as our balls dont touch?

Listen here man what makes you think i have friends

>don't tell him to grope her.
I'm obviously not, you dip, you must be shit with women. Hoverhands = not getting laid, you have to be comfortable with touching her and she with you touching her.
Incredible that I have to explain to the dude responsible for how it works, how it works.

This is the only God I acknowledge.
Problem?

So what exactly does the afterlife contain?

Your girlfriend is a mentally ill man, sorry to tell you.
Can't make no ass babies and without children any romantic coupling cannot last.

true love between a man and a woman exists by default. The test to find true love is the hardest test in the multiverse. Everyone fails it. Being a trap is rebellion against the test. But so what. If you feel like fucking chicks with dicks or even marrying them it's only one step down from the failure of all traditional marriages.
make some friends
or just go clubbing on your own. just have money for drinks and you're set.
I've had 1000's of girlfriends
it's inevitable that's what he would think though.

Her penis is feminine, if that helps

Nothing, sheol is just a filing cabinet until the respawns start after the day of wrath.
The living know that they will die, the dead know nothing.

She cant refuse my advances nigga, she is in awe of my power. I was in her story last night as the talented man and that is pretty much the only time i msged her. We went back and forth for some time then when the conversation wasnt going anywhere i didnt reply.Problem is i am too much of a bitch and i dont care that much

>it's inevitable that's what he would think though.
No one makes the jump the first time, he will fail and through failure, learn, until he makes it.

Simply ask her out unless she is employed by you or something.

mostly dreams that set you up psychologically for your next life and teaches you the right from wrong from your mistakes in previous lives.
it makes me sick but each to their own.
the dead choose their own mother and father.

So is it wrong that part of my depression stems from the fact that after every death there will be a life that I live where the same boring rules of reality apply and life just continues on with no real meaning but to allow the living to live until they either die by other means or kill themselves?

Seems too much work for a fuckhole. I would rather live on the high that a 9/10 may have been into me

>mostly dreams that set you up psychologically for your next life and teaches you the right from wrong from your mistakes in previous lives.
So what is it all for then? Is there no fun to be had? Just life after life for what reason?

She is not employed by me, but it is similar to that. Wut do?

I think you are a very nice god. I'm the one with the bipolar depressed royal SO from way up there. Can I ask one more question? How can I best help their highness? When they're shutting me out? It really hurts a lot. But what they're going through hurts more.

Mr. Depressed. Can I ask you what I just asked god? How can a friend or SO best help you when it gets particularly severe & you're shutting people out?

Death is like dreamless sleep.
Have you ever gone to bed while dead tired, closed your eyes and the alarm rings immediately and you think to yourself "did I fuck up the alarm that bad?" and it turns out that you have slept for 8 hours, but it felt like no time passed at all?
The resurrection will feel like that, unless you survive the last days of this world.
After, the kingdom of God will change the world into something more like it was intended until the last cancer gets cut out and it will remain perfect for all time.
You will be able to reach your utmost potential with no resistance.

Yeah, bad idea dude if you have some sort of professional entanglement, especially if you are in a position of power.
Unless you want to be potentially Weinsteined.

ok your mind is a computer
a processor
tell it to think the best thing in the world
do that once a day
make knowledge out of it
write down your conclusions in a diary
life doesn't happen all at once
it happens over time
otherwise the universe would explode and implode in an instance
and that would be that.
uhh royalty is a high pressure position. thoughts and body language from a young age can cause the cursing of someone's life or even their death. I find cursing someone's life to a life of drug addiction is the worst order I've ever given. I helped him become holy again ... but i digress.
just keep her fed. Make her home cooked meals. Learn to cook first. We all love a good meal. Give it time. Patience is key.
Don't get frustrated and yell at her for being a stuck up bitch. She already doesn't have the surroundings of her castles and that would only come in dreamland. Where she is dead and far from you.
watch friends the tv show and learn how to be someone's friend. Learn to cook and you'll have all the friends you could wish for. Show her life with you could be fun.

What is the point of reincarnation if I can't recall what happened to me before and therefore learn from it?

Not shut you out himself. My friends are partially the reason since my best friend since day 1 got divorced, he won't even talk to me and my other friend starting snorting Oxy like there's nothing wrong with that. I'm not an expert though. But as far as I know, having someone there to tell you that everything is fine helps as long as you're not me and just a giant skeptic. The only thing I can suggest is to try and wait it out, keep yourself occupied with something. Listen to music, go on walks, watch YouTube videos all day.
Interesting.
Will try.

>Learn to cook and you'll have all the friends you could wish for. Show her life with you could be fun.

YOU HAVE TO EAT ALL THE EGGS

How do i become friends again with my once best friend?
She doesn't want contact anymore, i already tried talking to her about it, didn't change her thoughts about the subject.

Well theres no professional entanglement or real power and lots of other people like me are doing this rn. I wish i could explain this power structure better but lets just say its not entirely weird and lots of people do get into relationships like this

Is there reason to the ups and downs in my life? All of them overall, but specifically the ones in the past few days.


For that matter, is there reason for the goods and bads in life for everyone?

others can seek it out and can know what happened then and relay that to you. I find my dreams in cartoons on tv but I digress. I have no idea how other people find out about their time in the land of time. I understand it can sometimes come in the form of epiphanies.
the lessons are hard set into your psychy. they become instinct so you don't need to process it, you already know it.
lol ALL the eggs
that's a tough one.
maybe improve your life and show it all off on social media and be in and about travelling. maybe she might want to travel with you or at least go to a concert with you.

Are you in a position where you can affect her income?

What broke you up?

to experience the difference
really you wouldnt appreciate the good times without the bad.

Thank you, will try that

Thank you, god. For the royal advice. Made me feel some feels. I'll do it.

Thanks to you too, mortal. Everything will be fine for you too, I hope. I'll wait it out. I can do it.

Not sure I can do this though.

ALL THE EGGS is from a sperg copypasta.