Hey Sup Forums

Hey Sup Forums

So long story short I'm looking to get clean for a piss test for a job, and I figured someone here had to know the ancient secret techniques that actually work. I'm not on a time limit with this, though I am growing impatient so speed is preferable. I also don't want to use fake piss or some kind of masking agent.

Some information.

- I am 5'10 and weight 160 lbs.
- I've smoked heavily for several years now, not missing a day.
- I have currently not smoked for 2 weeks.

I piss tested myself last night and still failed. What do I need to do? Surely it must be nearly out of my system by now?

My current plan is to Niacin flush today and perhaps test myself again tomorrow. Any ideas on how much to take? I was considering 200 mg.

Thanks Sup Forums

bump

I know you've Googled this a shit ton, and for you to even think that 2 weeks is enough for it to get out of your system is ridiculous.

I don't have very much body fat, which is were it is stored. How long would you say. then? A month?

smok we'd

how much time you have?

As much time as I need. I just thought I'd be ready by now and so am impatient tbh

If you haven't smoked in two weeks you're brobably a-ok.
Four weeks is overkill.

I passed after 11 days of being off a years long daily smoke habit

work out a lot, eat stuff loow in fat. you want to get rid of as much of the stuff in your system as you can. couple days before the test stop working out and eat stuff high in fats (ideally good fats) so your body isn't using the fat with thc in it

Some people are really allergic to Niacin.
>Take about 1000mg and wait about 30 min
>If you don't start flushing with a high heart rate take 500mg more and wait another 30 min.
>repeat until you feel faint and pass out.

bruh did you read the post? I tested myself last night and still failed.

Back when I was in HS my mom randomly woke me up one day and told me she was piss testing me after school and was going to sell my car if I failed.

I ditched school that day, and if I remember correctly took 1000mg of Niacin. Worked out and drank water all day long and passed my test. But I think that might have been more so I diluted it to the point of not being able to tell, rather than truly being clean.

Moral of the story though is I've taken 1000mg of Niacin before and flushed well.

Try not doing drugs in the first place

>Inb4 your whiny reply

If you adore drugs that much simply refuse to take drug tests. I mean, you're a fucking man right? Master of own destiny an all yeah? Be a man, stand up for your childish habit

I have to admit, this is a better reply than I thought I was going to get. Thought it'd be more along the lines of

GREAT DETOX METHOD

Slit your wrists and drink bleach!

Not that I need to explain myself to you, but I'm actually enrolling in College soon and am tired of working minimum wage bullshit jobs. I want to be able to pass a piss test so I can work part-time at a place that actually pays decently, so I can focus on my education and not have to worry if I have enough money for rent and utilities and shit. Just trying to improve my quality of life m8

Find a vitamin store/health food store

Buy crystalline Vitamin C

Drink 8 oz of water with 1/4 TEAspoon of Vitamin C mixed up in it

When you need to pee, drink another 8 oz of water

After an hour, drink another 8 oz of water with one QUARTER TEAspoon mixed up in it.

When you need to pee, drink another 8 oz of water

Every hour, drink 8 oz of water with one QUARTER TEAspoon of Vitamin C mixed up in it.

This will clean you out in a big way. Make sure you have bathroom tissue on hand and a clear path to the toilet. I am not kidding about it.

Repeat until the test or when your ass is raw from powershitting. Admit NOTHING, no dope sucking EVER, no OTC medications, no cigarette use, admit to NOTHING.

Avoid giving the first piss of the day. Avoid giving a sample from other than mid-slash.

What kind of fucked-up job wants to test your pee? Piss testing is just plain WRONG.

i see quads behind dubs.

Niacin is useful for coming down from acid or mushrooms (1 gram per 100 lbs body weight) but will do sweet fuck all for a piss test.

its a sign to help me

Focus on your education by not doing drugs.

You come across like you'd fall apart without weed. Grow a spine young lady

i know user, i have that same problem too, getting a test for a fucking visa. but i don't have a problem with time.

Dude jut let me tell you if you're trying to get clean from weed, everything that you do will clean you from the piss but it will make them even more suspicious.
If you're clean from weed, but also all the fucking things that will be in your piss, you're completely fucked. Cleansers DO NOT WORK.

Improve your quality of life by not taking drugs like a nigger.

>Inb4 another whiny reply

Smoking weed actually improves the lives of many people, though. It shouldn't be illegal anymore. That's the big problem here.

Yet it is. You must be a nigger, all you have are excuses and sidestepping as to your drug habit.

>You come across like you'd fall apart without weed

>hasn't smoked in 2 weeks and just wants to get this show on the road

I've been on Sup Forums long enough to know some people just want to argue. But I'm certainly not the only one here who smokes. Fuck, I've seen Heroin threads on Sup Forums. I don't even drink. Fook off.

I don't have a problem with time either. Good luck to you though!

Seriously. Is it such a crime if I want to smoke a bowl after work? I have friends getting shit faced constantly, and my society's standards, I'm the bad guy. But I'm not here to talk politics, I'm here for a solution so I can get this over with.

Loom nigger you and I are blessed with high metabolic rate.take ur naicin and loads of water and you will pass.

I'm German, 34 years old and haven't smoked weed in like 10 years. I do know how it can cure fucking hardcore problems like social anxiety, because it cured me back like 15 years ago. You're a fucking idiot if you just ignore how the herb can actually cure people who would have been in the fangs of the pharmaceutical industry for their whole lives. Fuck you mate. Fuck you wholesome.

Get this show on the road

Right, so you can go back to smoking weed.

Excuses and sidestepping. Nothing more.

Sad little millennial, whine some more for me

Stopped reading at "I'm German". Move along Klaus

only guaranteed way is to use someone else's piss that you know is clean.. I've heard of dudes cleaning out their bladder and then using a tube to fill their own bladder with someone else's piss. this was for their parole tho

I'm getting the feeling you live a life devoid of meaning or purpose, and I genuinely feel bad for you.

another dubs, user. well you can just start by drinking lots of water, or you could just do water fasting for one week straight.

Yeah you just proved to me that you're a fucking ignorant idiot. Nice one

nigga that sounds gay I'd rather just wait longer wtf

I'll be honest with you, the 2 weeks I quit smoking I haven't really been giving a fuck. Started drinking alcohol for a little while as a replacement and mostly just letting things take their course naturally. But since I failed my own home test last night I've stopped drinking anything except water and am getting serious.

Lol don't feel bad for me, I'm not worried about drugs or drug tests. I grew a sack years ago. I don't participate in drug tests. Period. Yup got a nice job, yup got my own place. Nope, not a millennial pussy

>I'm getting the feeling that I can't argue better so I'm going with the. 'i feel bad for you'condescending comment in hopes you'll stop making me look stupid

>get completely btfo for Sup Forums tier retarded posting
>i'm the grown up dude over here i'm winning !!

not even the dude but kek so fucking sad. at least the guys who smoke weed get some decent gfs kek.

Cool story, bro.

I'm not here to defend my habit, and I won't. If you can't see that marijuana is by far the least harmful of available drugs, including cigarettes and alcohol, than that's on you.

Ah countering with "at least".
Lol you're done kid. Stop typing

People actually kinda do feel bad for the Sup Forumstards because they're a lost cause, though.
They will always be caged in their little echo chamber of hate while everyone else strives to make the world a better place.

Kek that was my first post in this thread. I really almost feel sad for you fuckers.

yes. don't drink anything but water. it really helps.

Lol you mean it's on the entity that made it illegal genius. Wasn't my call, all I said was don't do drugs to pass a drug test. Don't get all whiny with me just because I'm right. All your little counters are nothing but whining, excuses and sidestepping. Doesn't make me any less right, or you any less millennial.

Post another tear filled lamentation, my sides are orbiting

Not a pol tard though.

Your argument is fail

You'd fit in there really good, though.

Wouldn't know, never go there. You seem to know your way around though, surprise surprise

You're a complete fucking idiot if you think that the fact that THC stays in the blood flow for a few weeks makes it a hardcore drug. It's literally less harmful than coffee.
And you're not arguing with a millenial here. I'm probably older than you and haven't taken drugs in decades.
You're fucking retarded.

You have to take it with a tablespoon of Castor Oil to activate it.

I'm 48, weed is illegal, I didn't make it that way, stop whining at me I'm still right and you're still not

Yes I'm actually over there a lot to counter the overwhelming idiocy that happens on that containment board. Someone has to do it.
That's why I know that you'd fit right in with the vocal minority that spews hatred over there.

Op didn't post this thread to talk about how he should smoke more you utter faggot, he wants to get a good job and to do that he needs to piss in a cup. Fuck you for making this thread shit.

>weed is illegal, I didn't make it that way

Did you actually research which lobbyist parties made it illegal? You'd be fucking blown away.
We're both grown ups and don't smoke that fucking shit, but you have to educate yourself.

post pic of self user or we wont take you seriously

You whine like a millennial and you have no proof of your whiny argument.

Meanwhile, weed is illegal and drug tests can only be passed by not doing drugs

Umad? You seem mad. Really mad. Watch how whine you reply

>facts are not arguments

Yeah right..

>I also don't want to use fake piss
Then you're selling yourself short.

How is being right about weed being illegal and not doing drugs to pass a drug test spewing hate? Lol you cry so pretty for me

>you have no argument
>you whine like a millenial lmao
Stop pretending you're not a Sup Forumsack.

Lol it was ashit thread before I came along. I just derail these for fun, Thanks for letting me know I did a good job

I'm not a lobbyist, you're still whining

Op isn't calling you names, but of course he's the one who's a whiny millenial. Go away this thread was nice before you got here.

You're a fucking retard if you interpret my post like that. I've never said that weed can't be traced in a blood test for a few weeks. The problem here is that it's illegal despite being a recreational drug that is much less harmful than green tea or coffee, which has been proven many times by actual studies.

You want one inside or next to your mom?

bruh I smoked probably two bowls a day during college and when I stopped so I could apply for jobs, it took me 3 months to stop pissing hot.

This shit lingers a lonnnngggg time in heavy users.

Stop changing the subject, it doesnt make me less right

the one with my mom id like to see her again

Hey man, good on you for getting your shit together. You've already waited two weeks so you're probably pretty close. 2 weeks to a month is about average for a person not even trying to get it out of their system. Just make sure you drink plenty of water, take your vitamins and work out a couple times a day.

Still illegal,still can only pass a drug test by not doing drugs.

You'll find a couple Kleenex in your mother's brassiere, go clean up

Kek you fuckers are the ones who are actually trying to change the subject all over the place.
Weed is not a bad drug. That has been proven. You're just trying to make it look like people are snorting heroin all over the place all the fucking time all over to ban it. It's you guys who are turning normal peoples into criminals all over the place. Fuck you hard.

>implying its not just one guy

The topic was passing a drug test with help. Stick to the topic

>still illegal

That is the problem at hand here. You don't realize that you're turning people who use a very easy drug that is not even as hard as coffee into criminals. That is the problem. It's not the people who use it, it's the idiots who still incarcerate people who buy and smoke weed just to have a nice evening.
If you had ever smoked a joint, you'd know that it's not harmful at all.

Make the list I'll show you my you's. You'll be amazed

I smoke daily. Still illegal doe. I didn't make it I'll gal, it wasn't my idea. It's the law though. Another fun fact is you can't do drugs and pass a drug test

If you'd know anything about weed you'd know that it's actually not addictive and you could easily stop smoking from one day to the next. Nice fake post.

The only way to end the drug war is a campaign of violence against cops, the foot soldiers who make it all possible. Target them and their loved ones and make them terrified to enforce drug laws.

Lol yeah that will totes work. Here have a free drug test

Never said anything even close to that. Put out the joint tyrone

You're too stupid to believe. Cops are foot soldiers, they don't write laws.

It absolutely will work if you gun down a bunch of cops or burn down theor homes with their wife and kids and tell people that is what will happen to others who enforce drug laws. If you terrorize them enough they will change their behavior.

I'm not a cop, a lobbyist or a registered voter, this is why you fail. Stick. To. The. Topic.

If the foot soldiers stop enforcing the laws then the drug war cannot continue. Prove me wrong.

Ok che, you begin the revolution And we'll be there in a minute

They get bigger foot soldiers genius. Put the bong down, you're retarded enough

No, they get more of them. But if you continue killing them and their families they will eventually come around to the correct way of thinking. What fatger wants his wife and children butchered so he can throw a few people in jail for drug charges?

>bigger foot soldiers
What, like taller ones?

If you're still listening OP, the only way to actually ensure it gets out of your system quickly is by a 4-5 day diet. This is coming from my brother who was on felony probation for two years taking piss tests monthly. You absolutely must drink no less than a gallon of water a day, it's preferred you can drink more. Take vitamins b6,12, and whatever else you can get your hands on so that when you piss it doesn't show up as super diluted. So, for 4-5 drink 1+ gallon of water a day, no bullshit junk food. Only fruits, veggies, and other detoxifying foods. If you must eat carbs or meats, make it poultry and un processed carbs. About 6 hours before the test (morning of) you're going to need to chug the most expensive herbal detox drink you can find at your local head shop and then continue to chug water while also making sure you've taken all necessary vitamins.

>if this test is not for probation, or court related reasons; i.e. Drug screening for psychologist, work, etc. you're at about a 95% chance you can buy any run of the mill piss bag, tie some hand warmers around it, keep it under your guuch and you'll be fine. Seriously, 9/10 it's not serious enough that someone watches you piss.

Can we all just talk about the pissing in a cup thing instead of virtue signaling?

No, he said bigger not taller lmao stop smoking nigger

Just tell them you were in Colorado over the weekend.

Shit all they can do about it. Just like drinking is legal, despite the damage it does. It's still legal and you can drink with impunity as far as drug tests go.

Depending on the way you as an individual store fat, and it's placement on the body, it can be anything from two weeks to several months for a heavy smoker who stores fat on the waistline, where it's also one of the last places to be lost through exercise. Ghanaians as an example have evolved to distribute fat differently over many generations of overeating, loading the body with fat in areas where it doesn't interfere with health. White people store it in diabetes central around the stomach and waistline though sadly.

If it's not time critical then just chill. It will drop to undetectable levels in piss in a couple more months max.

Blood and hair will take longer to read clear. The old all over shave defeats the hair test, which they might use as a backup if your piss is borderline, but that's better done sooner than later as it looks suspect to be bald all over just after/before testing. Blood will be clear shortly after your piss is.

my Sup Forumsro had this same issue and his older brother just told him to drink a shit ton of water before the test. Yes, just water. But drink a gallon in an hour. You need to get to the point where you're pissing every 10 mins and it's crystal clear. Test it first and try.

Lol it's obvious you really believe this. My only counter is start the revolution, prove you're right. Otherwise shaddup you're being retarded

I'm inclined to agree with him. Most cops know that the drug war is a futile effort, it's obvious to anybody with an IQ above room temperature. Giving them an incentive to not enforce these laws could go a long way to getting them repealed. Sometimes the ends really do justify any means.

Ok then start the revolution.

>Protip: you won't, you know better

Wouldn't killing their families give them a reason to hate you?

I don't care if they hate me, this isnt a "hearts and minds" type situation. I'm interested in making them more afraid to enforce these laws.

That and it would kneejerk a "kill them all, they kill cop families" reaction both in the streets and on social media which we all know is where the real fight would be.

>"Wanna smoke weed so I shot a cops family"

Downhillfromthere.exe

Their families are already dead. They would want to use the law as a tool for revenge.

They still couldn't pass a drug test by doing drugs.

But to those cops who still have families that are alive, these dead ones would serve as an object lesson about what would happen if they continue supporting an unjust system.