Tell stories where your brain absolutely malfunctioned

Tell stories where your brain absolutely malfunctioned.

Basically a human glitch thread.

Go!

i did two marijawanas and have been glitchy since

>want to have cereal for breakfast
>grab bowl, cereal and milk
>pour cereal in bowl
>go full retard
>pour bowl of cereal on milk
>get up
>put bowl in fridge

My dreams occasionally extend into the first moments of wakefulness. So I'll hear someone calling to me for something that wouldn't make sense except in a dream, or perceive the environment as the dream. It's not hard to get pulled out of, but it's also really disorienting.

I had the misfortune to experience an episode while I was sleeping in the nude once and it was really enjoyable trying to explain it.

one time in class I forgot may fuckn name

One evening i rushed to the store to buy something to drink before they close for the next three days. Bought everything else but nothing to drink.

Nice trips

new teacher was asking everyone one by one and I forgot my name

>Think I have to spit
>Think I have to light joint
>Spit on joint

> say "why are the cows in a circle ?"
> start laughing furiously
> can't explain why

>put hot pic of girl i know on usb
>print it out, make cum tribute
>don't delete the picture from my usb drive
>1 week later in class we work on a project in groups of 2
>put usb in school pc
>my friend sees the pic (knows the grill too)
>embarrased as fuck, delet the pic immediately

thankfully nobody else saw it

>at work
>hands dirty
>I'm about to eat
>fuck yeah subway
>walk up to hand sanitizer
>instead grab can of wd40
>spray all over hands
>go to grab sandwich
>coworker just stares at me like I'm growing a third head
>suddenly realize what I've just done
>have to actually use a sink

pumb

guise i wunt storis!!11!1

>Prep food
>Microwave on for 3 mins
>Didn't put food in microwave
>Proceed to snack on cold food while timer counts down
>BEEP BEEP
>Fuck

Roll

>doing my usual thing at work
>cute regular comes up
>small talk while she pays
>she turns around halfway out the door
>asks me what my plans are after work
>*I dunno. Just gonna relax at home."
>*Ah... Well, have a great day user*
>My face ten minutes later

Got concussion once after being smacked in the head and knocked out. Spent the next week? month? living like someone with Alzheimer's. Lost all track of time. I was mostly ok just wasnt allowed to drive because sometimes my brain would do weird shit
> be having conversation, completely forget words and sit their like an idiot while friend looks at me like I'm a retard
> pick up socks, look at feet- how does this all work again?
> stand in front of fridge, not sure how to open- also, what's the name of this thing again?
> make cup of coffee, pour all the hot water from kettle straight down the sink then go sit down. 2 mins latet wonder why I don't have a coffee yet, I'm sure I boiled some water??? Or did I???

whoa that must've been the weirdest shit

You know what it was actually kinda cool. Didn't really worry me because doctor said was just gonna be temporary.
Friends thought it was funny, they just looked out for me.
The only real bad thing was sometimes is get a sudden headache that felt like a knife plunged into my head. Also couldn't drink alcohol.

weird doesn't mean bad, people do lsd for fun