I'm guarding a fucking Vans at 3am

I'm guarding a fucking Vans at 3am.
Ask me anything.

What did you major in at University?

how many horsepower

No university finished
What

At what point did you realize you are a failure in life?

how many horespower is vans

Do you fap onto or inside the van?

Haven't yet
There is no horsepower in this Vans store
You fucking idiots its a retail store. Look it up

Why are you lying on your side?

What kind of van is it?

My phone likes to fuck pictures up for me

then it isn't vans

Are the windows tinted?

Favorite anime?

Its 3am so no, its just dark outside.

Boku no pico

do you pay homeless men to use your chest as a toilet?

Are you armed?

...

Have never and do not plan to ever do that.

ironically i bet youre unemployed

No but I'll throw a shoe at anyone.

Why not?

Like this?

What are the benefits of paying a homeless individual to deficate on ones chest?

Throw one at yourself then.

sexual pleasure

lol this thread is full of retards

This (you), is yours.

Can i have a pair of shoes?

Why are you guarding a vans at 3am? Are you expecting a horde of middle school scene kids or highschool stoners?

they're cheaper than whores but still shit the same

Not right now. The store is closed.

Finally heres the right question. Construction in the store at night time and the workers left. I have no key to lock up so they just want me to sit here until... Who fucking knows.

I wasn't intending on paying for them. Be a bro and hook me up. Size 9

You may not believe it, but the store will be robbed in aprox. 15 min.

Good luck...

Whachu lookin fo

watch out for these, they bandit vanguards

>size 9
Manlet detected

shoe on head

That looks like a shoe store.

Fuck you

>not armed
What do they expect you to do if the place gets robbed? Ask them to leave?

I'm under 6ft, yeah. But i think that's uk sizing maybe. Ausfag here.

Yes actually. Call the local law enforcement. Its a fucking joke if you ask me. Im putting in my two weeks cause doing this for 12 hours, no breaks, and 9 dollars a fucking hour.

Dunno whatever looks good.. free shit is free shit.

Actually no, come take this shit I wont stop you. We're told not to pursue.

Wouldn't literally any alarm suffice?

Yes but the problem is, I don't have the code for the alarm, nor do I have the key to lock the doors.

>Trusted to guard building full of merchandise
>not trusted temporarily with key or changeable code
Corporate logic

9 bucks? Isn't that only 75 cents above minimum wage?

In virginia yeah probably.
Bruh people that have never done this job are the ones to tell me how to do it right?

I hope you're on the clock

I am. For 12 hours with no break and I cannot leave.

I pity you.

Name a genre and I'll give you some tunes to listen to while the existential dread slowly creeps in.

That's the one in tanger at myrtle beach isn't it?

I appreciate the offer m8 but already tuning out.

Nope

head down there and try the door, I hear some silly fucker left it unlocked

got any sized 14? I can never find anything nice in 14s.

Thats a good question. Lemme look.

Nah. Only up to size 13

This makes no sense. How does having 24 hour security on a few pallets of cheap shoes not completely wipe out their profit margin? Alarms and insurance cost 1/3 what you do (even though you don't make shit), and they're probably paying for those too...

Vans doesn't pay me.

bummer. at least I'm not a footlet.

How do you drive with hugefuq feet?

Niggers really need Vans apparently

go to a converse outlet fam. they stock a lot of their range up to 15/16.

>source: my feet

Why you so angry? You said you're guarding Vans, I don't see any.

Here you go

manlet vs lanklet!!! PLACE YOUR BETS FOLKS, WHO WILL WIN

You ever fart into the shoes?

Nah.

They're vans and they are shit anyway. Try it out sometime.

Do you even skate you fucking poser?

Skating is old and done.

for anyone that asks what happens at the end, he is showing submission by ridiculing himself.

i'm a neet born into a really rich family. no wage slave, soul sucking job i hate. just whatever i want all the time. it's quite nice. i can spend my time on personal projects, studying, hanging out. i can even go anywhere with my gf or friends anytime. employment is over rated if you hate your job and it takes away from your life and free time.

And so are you apparently

How many MPG?

Those are socks.

Why does a vans need to be guarded all night?

somebody might just drive off in it