Offensive Jokes Thread

Offensive Jokes Thread

How do you circumcise a redneck
Kick his sister in the chin

Have you ever head Ethiopian food?
Neither have I!

Well you fucked that up

>What do you call two niggers fucking?
Two fucking niggers.

what does a nigger get for xmas?

your bike

What do honkies do for a living?

Stealing peoples homes

What does a niggerchild get for christmas?
Hunger

Whats the hardest at a child funeral?
My dick

Whats the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I dont have a Lamborghini in my garage

Whats the difference between a nigger and a pizza?
The Pizza can actually feed a family

What do you do when you see a nigger with half a face?

"[spoiler]stop laughing and reload[/spoiler]"

You drop a nigger and a feather from the top of a tree. Which one will reach the ground first?
The feather, as the nigger will be hanging from a rope about halfway down.

You really fucked up those spoilers
[spoiler]you fucking jew[/spoiler]

What do a negress and a condom have in common?
They both want to be in your wallet.

Whats the difference between a nigger and an elevator?
An elevator can raise a child

Most black 15 year-olds in this country are decent, law abiding citizens. It's their kids who cause all the trouble.

Whats the difference between a pizza and a nigger.

A pizza can feed a family

What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a nigger

"The bucket"

I saw a nigger carrying a TV down the street the other day and i thought to myself; "that looks like mine"
...... then i remembered mine's at home shining my shoes

>What's the difference between a nigger and a bucket of dog shit?
After a while, the shit turns white and stops smelling.

How do you get a nigger to stop jumping on the bed?

You put velcro on the ceiling

What's the difference between a woman and a toilet?

A toilet doesn't want to cuddle and ask "what are you thinking about?" after you dump your load into it.

What's the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bowling balls?
You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

how do you make a nigger starve to death?

Put his foodstamps card in his work boots.

they spend more time in your wallet than on your dick, is the correct answer.

What's black, yellow, pink, green, blue, purple, and chained to my porch?

My house nigger. I'll paint him whatever fucking colors I want!

The holocaust actually happened

Why niggers are people when you leave any more offensive?
Cancerous niggers

What do you call three dead black guys in a shed?

Broken farming tools

I don’t find any of these particularly offensive.

Or funny:-(

I hadn’t heard this one before; I think it’s maybe translated from another language.

What's the worst thing about being a nigger?

Everything.

How do you make a 4 year old cry twice?

You wipe your bloody dick on his teddy bear

How do you save a negro from drowning?

Take your foot of his head

What's the difference between black humor and morbid humor?

Black humor is 10 babys in 1 trashcan

Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trashcans

What do you call a 5 year old with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor

how do you get a nigger out of a tree?

Cut the rope

Oh op. Top kek

Knock knock
>Who's there?
Men and women differ temperamentally and psychologically

What does a baby look like after a minute in the microwave??

I don’t know either, I close my eyes when I masturbate.

How do you know when your sister is on her period??


Your dad’s dick tastes like blood

this doesn't work, it's like saying "give me the keys to that car, I'm gonna hotwire it.

The idea is that you masturbate to this established horrific visual.

If you change it to "I close my eyes when I cum and I never llast that long" it might work better.

What's the difference between a nigger and a pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of four

Jesus Christ fed 2000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish.


But Adolf Hitler made 6 million Jews toast

gonna need the cont on that pic, i find highly interesting to know more about that topic, it gives me advantage against another humans

Idk man I’ll try it out but the original usually kills, to each his own I guess

What’s the difference between Adolf Hitler and Micheal Phelps?
Michael Phelps can actually finish a race

I think it's the audience.

Granted I overthink and analyze comedy like an autist- but that joke sounds like all edge and no smooth flow to me.

How do you know when your sister's on her period?

You can taste it on your dad's dick

fucking jej

What the difference between niggers and tires?
Tires don't sing when you out chains on them.

I got it from Vice’s Kids tell dirty jokes, just a short lived series of precisely what the name implies. There are some jewels in there but also plenty of garbage

The punchline is "They haven't either," ya dummy.

sure are a lot of nigger related jokes in this thread...

What do you call a geeky black archaeologist?
A nerdy digger.

What do you call an African American Astro Physicist??

A nigger
(This jokes gimmick is that you can say any respectable trade or title after African American with the same punchline so put your own spin on it)

Why is an ape always frowning?

Cause In a million years it knows it will be a nigger

What did the condom say to the other condom?

Let’s go to the gay bar and get shit faced

What’s the hardest part about being a pedophile???


I guess just trying to fit in.

I never really got all the Sandy Hook jokes.

Guess they're just aimed towards a younger audience.

Lel

>do you believe the holocaust happened?
Yes
>did a a rabbi pay you to say that?
No
>pffffft....typical...

>How do you know if your neighbor is a jew?

There are paper towels on a drying rack.

>How do you disable a pakistani missile?

Remove the runner bands.

>How do you protect you money in Mexico?

Put a bar of soap on it.

How Nigerian parents celebrate their child’s first birthday?

They put flowers on their grave

not bad

So, I'm sitting at a bar and I see a guy that looks EXACTLY like Adolf Hitler. Well, some time goes by and I CANNOT stop staring this guy. I walk I've to him and say, "sorry to interrupt, but you look JUST like Adolf Hitler." The man says, "well that because i am Hitler." I say, "how can that be? You've been dead for 70 years." Hitler says, "well, I made a deal with the devil if I kill 10million more Jews and 5 CLOWNS, I can be resurrected." I say, "5 clowns??? WHY 5 clowns?!" Hitler turns to the bartender and says, "see... no gives a shit about the Jews..."

Maybe he's Ethiopian.

but you arent necessarily whacking it to the visual of the baby in the microwave. you could be whacking to the knowledge that you just tossed a kid in a microwave and pushed start

underrated

Whats the difference between my dick and my gun?

Women don't complain when my gun goes off in their mouth.

That’s what I was thinking

lost hard....thanks for the new material for thanksgiving lunch tomorrow, user

lol

A poll was taken that showed that 75% of black men enjoy sex in the shower.
The other 25% haven't been to prison yet.

How was copper wire invented?
2 Jews fighting over a penny.

How was breakdancing invented?
Blacks stealing hubcaps off of moving cars.

This polish girl is drunk driving and a cop pulls her over, realizes she's polish and starts to unzip his pants, she goes "oh no, not another breathalyzer test."

What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?

I feel like a kid again.

What’s the difference between a catholic priest and acne??

Acne doesn’t come on your face till you’re at least 13

... what?

This pedophile and little girl are walking through the forest at night, and the little girl goes "this sure is scary" and the pedophile goes, "that's nothing, I gotta walk back alone!"

Who’s the most famous Jewish cook in history??


Adolf Hitler

What do Kevin Spacey and redbull have in common?
They both come in little cans

What's the line between humans and animals?
The mediterranian

What's the difference between a Jew and a dollar?
I'd give a shit if I'd lose 6 million dollars

How do you fit 6 million Jews into a sedan?
2 in Front, 3 in the back and 5,999,995 in the ashtray

What is big and round and hates niggers?
The world

What is white at the top and black at the bottom?
Society

What is black at the top and white at the bottom?
Rape

no

What do you call 5 niggers fucking?
A threesome

It was good. Thanks

...

Seriously I heard this one the other day...
I just don't get it ,man.
help me

>What do you call 5 niggers fucking?
>A threesome
The Three Fifths Compromise.
It was a compromise to decide if slaves should count towards a state's population for determining how much representation it should get.
Eventually it was decided that slaves count as three fifths of a person.

I googled it ... nvm

took me a bit for it to click

What’s black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron

what's a Mexicans favorite sport?


>cross-country

What happens to a Jew with an erection when he slams into a wall?

He gets a broken nose

What's faster than a nigger with your TV?

His brother with your DVD player.

I admit that I'm probably overthinking it way too much.

I don't know. I'm not a comedy writer so keep on doing whatever is successful for you.

Why did “god” give women yeast infections?


So they too know what it’s like to live with an annoying cunt

ITT: Overused jokes

I agree. It's a smart post.

...

What do Jewish pedophiles say??

“Hey kid want to buy some candy?”

that's the joke you fuck hornet

Fucking funny. Laughed hard.