HELP!

HELP!

I've got a piss test coming up that I will fail and I need to fake, I can get clean piss but I really need advice, anything would be great.

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well what did you take?

So you need to pass a piss test?

you have to hold it for 2-3 minutes in mouth for right temperature

You name it, weed is the biggest issue though, there's no question that my piss will fail the test.

yes

Whats the problem? You got synthetic urine or a clean vial of piss? You good

I'm worried about getting the clean piss into the sample bottle without being caught

Op this is how i ALWAYS do it. 100% youll pass

youtu.be/9TnO_vnuEE4

Is this just for a normal job or is this a military or court piss test

Find a vitamin store/health food store

Buy crystalline Vitamin C

Drink 8 oz of water with 1/4 TEAspoon of Vitamin C mixed up in it

When you need to pee, drink another 8 oz of water

After an hour, drink another 8 oz of water with one QUARTER TEAspoon mixed up in it.

When you need to pee, drink another 8 oz of water

Every hour, drink 8 oz of water with one QUARTER TEAspoon of Vitamin C mixed up in it.

This will clean you out in a big way. Make sure you have bathroom tissue on hand and a clear path to the toilet. I am not kidding about it.

Repeat until the test or when your ass is raw from powershitting. Admit NOTHING, no dope sucking EVER, no OTC medications, no cigarette use, admit to NOTHING.

Avoid giving the first piss of the day. Avoid giving a sample from other than mid-slash.

What kind of fucked-up job wants to test your pee? Piss testing is just plain WRONG.

Normal job but I have zero experience or medicals and stuff, no idea what the process would be.

>I can get clean piss
/thread

Op check out this video I swear. Its simple as fuck

This is great but what if I have to piss in front of someone, or in the same room behind a curtain or something?

The video user posted is pretty good.

Piss test are simple they don't watch in any way. Its mostly paperwork. Just make sure your sample is body temp. No matter what happens don't freak out.

>You fill out a bunch of paperwork.
>They give you a cup
>you go into a private bathroom
>You take your phony piss out
>pour it into the specimen cup
>put the lid back on both of them
>take your time its not a race
>hand them your piss
>more paperwork
>go get high nigger
>profit?

You won't unless its a super high security job. If its some bullshit warehouse job you're fine.

Buy the screeny weeny and fill it with some clean urine.

Probably somewhere inbetween, transport industry

We always had meat-gazers in the military.

Nah thats a simple one. There might be a physical involved in that. So don't get elaborate with your piss holding rig.
Its a lot easier than you think.
Just take your time its not a race.

yea that and parole piss tests sometimes. Drug court.

The piss will stay your body temp. A five hour energy bottle is pretty thin so it keeps that temp. They wont watch unless its a DOT test. Even then they might do hair test or swab which in that case youre fucked. Your hands might be shaky at first but after a couple tries youll be a pro.

Yeah it's part of a physical, that was a concern, if the bottle falls out then I'm fucked.

Oh and also try to piss as well. Makes it more realistic. The bottle holds the perfect amount of piss needed for standard piss cup.

maybe stop being a faggot and doing drugs?

Ask if you could do the piss test first (because you gotta go) then dispose of the evidence in the bathroom.

Wear tight boxer breifs bro. The way i did it was after the test. I had to get physical too. I was freaked out. Take pants off. Put bottle in pocket. Fold pants. (Fucking doc grabbed my balls with NO warning whats so ever)
>thankgodbottleisinpants
Put bottle back in gooch. The bottle didnt fall out. Just wear tight boxer briefs. Like a size smaller than you wear.

You change by your self in an exam room. Normal doctors visit type stuff
Ive taken DOT test to hire on and never had to have a meat gazer maybe after you have an accident.

>dispose of the evidence in the bathroom.
Don't do this.
Take all evidence with you and dispose somewhere else.

If you're white, they won't really make you take the test. They'll make everyone pee in the cup, because they have to keep up appearances and can't be seen to only be making blacks pee in the cup.
But urine tests cost money per person, and so all companies save money by not pointlessly testing their white and asian people. Only lesser races actually get tested, because they're the ones that cause the drug problems. Your samples will just get chucked in the bin out of sight and you'll never hear from it again. The others will go get tested, and only the taco-, sand-, streetshitting-, and regular-niggers will hear about testing positive.

This. Rooms are all sterlie so if you leave evidence it can be traced back to op.

cut dick

I meant by flushing. If the bottles small enough, it'll go down.

Cant flush toliet. Test is automatically thrown out

Yeah, because it's not suspicious at all if you go in supposed to pee in a cup, then they hear a flush, and you walk out with pee. Just put the bottle back wherever the fuck you brought it in. Toss it later.