Be me

>be me
>just graduated highschool
>have a serious addiction to loli hentai
>have hundreds of pictures of loli hentai printed out in case the power goes out
2 days later
>on my way home from work
>recieve text
>its from my mom
>"Son, we need to talk ASAP."
>ohfuck.jpeg
>drive home
>walk into house
>moms crying on the couch
>she has a paper in her hand
>it has pic related on the front
>blood runs fucking cold
>she notices me and immediately begins to scream at me
>berates me, calls me a pathetic loser
>i'm silent throughout the whole thing
>she goes into the hallway and grabs a suitcase
>its filled with my personal belongings
>she threatens to call the cops if i didnt leave
>walk to my car, throw suitcase in trunk, and drive off
Its been 12 hours since this happened and I haven't heard anything from her. What do I do? How do I remedy this situation?

Become a swim instructor

Swim Instructor? What does that have to do with anything?

Change your name, move half the country, and start over. Birth certificates are pretty easy to fake.

...

They mean that way you can at least oggle girls in tight swimsuits instead of getting caught with pictures by your mom.

I'm not into real little girls, man. I'm into 2D, not 3D

Maybe you shouldnt have printed out photos of animated child porn and just managed to keep your fucking hand out of your pants for 2 hours if and when power went out

That's what they all say - you'll admit it eventually

Here's what you do. Blame the internet. Say you found this site called Sup Forums, real seedy place. Started out normal, looking at it for the lolz, but then you started to get drawn into loli. Say that it is a horrible place and you made a big mistake. Promise you will never visit again, and tear up all pictures. You have to go back and admit you were wrong, but blaming it on us will probably help direct her anger at someone else.

I tried calling her, but I got sent straight to voicemail. I think she blocked me. Now what?

fuck her

Become an hero

Though not literally as that is a crime

Hand write a letter, make it look all nice. Then address it to her and slide it under the door or somewhere where she will read it. She probably just needs time to process it.

Just drive dude, go as far away as you want but at least in a different state, crash in your car if u need money get a quick job where ever you are at, if not keep going, why not dude, allow this to be a way fir you to change your life

your fault for printing out that shit and not saving it in a small and easily hideable usb flash drive for emergency no internet use.

Did you at least get to keep the pics?

...

fucking kek

Join ISIS.

why do you retards keep printing out porn???
especially crazy shit like loli??????
it's like you WANT someone to catch you?????????

just fuck off with your low quality baits

"In case that power goes out" Can you not go one day without beating it?

needs to show that op is into real women

They can't help themselves. It is "worth" the risk according to them.

You asked for this you sick fuck. Kys

no solution, you must self destruct.

You should probably become a swim instructor.

>Printed out
You're either a complete moron with no sense of social implications or this is more fake than than that bitch Sarah from my high school

i second this

fuck off with posting screenshots for ants you stupid nigger

Move To Mexico

theres only one solution, tell your mom you're gay.

>2702x9890 pixels
Are you fucking stupid?
Get the fuck back to tumblr retard.

>right-click
>open image in new tab
>stop being a faggot for attention

tfw he thinks the guy calling him a retard had to have posted the 1.34 MB photo

She's clearly too old.

That image is larger than 2 full HD 4k screens put together you fucking nigger faggot
YOU HAVE TO ZOOM THE FUCK IN you waste of space!

pics or your story is nothing but a greentext on Sup Forums

its worse if they figure out why he went down there, most of the time potential kiddy diddlers call up lynch mobs before cartel guys take em to the chop shop.

Tell her it was a social experiment

First of all, physical porn is a huge mistake especially Loli Hentai.

Second, by leaving you confirmed that the paper is YOUR porn. You couldve lied.

Third, what kinda fucking mom is this? Who would threaten their child with cops and throw them out of the house?

Fourth, user you may be alone but youre a functional member of society with a car. Find an apartment or a really good friend who'll let you stay.
This is a step into true adulthood for you: independence.

And lastly, do not look back, ignore everyone who is negative towards you, live life by enjoying things you couldnt in the past, get a gf/wife etc.

>2017
>printing anything, ever
>printing porn especially
>printing loli hentai, fucking really?
At least pretend to make the stories believable, OP.
>ITT bunch of retards taking the bait

Life advice never print porn, if you want to have a backup in case power goes of put some in your phone and get an app to hide the pictures

Stop being a fucking genius

If its real that's a serious addiction. Try psychadelic drugs and exercise regimes.

/Thread

Underrated fucking response

I was just thinking the same thing. Why would the mother fucking print out some loli? What the fuckity fuck

I printed out a story of questionable nature once. I left it by my bed face down assuming no one would read it and AFAIK no one did.

>have hundreds of pictures of loli hentai printed out in case the power goes out
Holy shit you retarded fucking faggot.

>porn addiction
>serious
he's just some retard who wasn't slapped around enough

also, who the fuck prints porn, just fap to your IMAGINATION if the power is out

part 2?

stories are still text, usually people won't bother as they'll first see a wall of text and consider they have better things to do than sit down and read

solid greentext, don't suppose you'd have source on any of the pics OP used or the thread archived anywhere?

That's what I was betting on. I don't remember whether I printed the title, but if I did even a glance would have sunk me. Junior High School Neighborhood Sluts is pretty blatant.

op here. I still have the pictures don’t worry guys

Anyone have the full story? I missed everything after the cliffhanger.

bwahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahah

There's been literally hundreds of "waiting for the swim instructor to deliver" threads in the past month, so no.
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Most if not all came from boorus. Not very many of them host loli available to unregistered/premium members, if at all.

it not being 3-4 favorite pictures and not going into the auto-sperg defend loli hentai's existence script [spoiler]loli isn't even one of my tags and I can do it cause I'm just a free expression douchebag[/spoiler] and just standing there there are the unbelievable parts, a parent being that shitty is no surprise

>your mom went through your personal belongings
>your belongings
>your
what country do you live in may i ask

Or just use an vaulty and hide it on your phone

This

ah yes, the good 'ol days on ASSTR

Who keeps physical copies of porn anymore, just use your phone, dafuk?

KEK

He's into loli dipshit

no lmao I don't mean pics of the irl girls I mean pics he used for the greentexting, fat fucking chance any amount of CP gets posted here anymore

I don't know what to do but at least you have a good taste in lolis.

since your not answering me, under united states law it is unlawful to kick someone out under any condition without a legal eviction notice, if you have or had mail at an address and live there currently. You can probably call the cops and ask them to allow you to take your stuff back, what state do you live in if its in a legal loli state then you can look at it freely as you please. Please answer back

topkek OP this is halirios

Actually, totse. Quite a while ago.

OP said he wont have time the next days. Was like 3 or 4 days ago.

tell her its just art

nice taste op

>Printed out pictures of loli incase of power outage.
. . . Nigga you wut?

Tell her it's hentai and it's art

>Doesn't click the file name to see the full image.
Gtfo newfag.

I known right? Sound like bullshit.
Just keep a few local pics on your phone if you're so addicted to the shit

i never successfully fapped to greentext until this. Thanks user

It's own fucking fault for not keeping it on a phone or something. I mean you printed out pictures? Really? Are you a fucking idiot? Sounds like BS to me, sleep tight on the streets you idiot.

I keep all my loli behind a batch locker, obv not something that requires much to get past but I'm not expecting a party van to arrive any time soon so should be np

Truth in this post

now why'd you have to go and give him the solution

This
>Good advice on Sup Forums

Be careful not to leave anything incriminating in the letter though. depending on what state you live in, even 2d is not allowed

lol the windup looks like late 80's 3dcg

Should be a pillow

move in with your auntie and uncle in bel-air

FPBP

Is your computer at home?
If so,
>Get it
>Get a flashdrive big enough to at least hold all your porn
>Rent an AirBnB for the night
>Clean out your computer
>Hide your porn on the flashdrive, if you intend to keep it
>BURN ALL PAPERS
>Come up with a plan to make amends with your mom if you can't stay with anyone else
The key element here is discretion. All I'm telling you to do, is be careful.

I have a vague memory of my dad finding out about my... tastes
he got really mad back then but probs didnt tell mum AND did neither kick me out nor go to the police with it
guess i got lucky

this is fucken gold guys I cant express myself

any one have the rest of this green text? im pretty damn invested in the story now

Notice how the last sentence is >Consider this the END of part 1

Honestly dude your parents are fucked in the head by jews.

i noticed thats why i ask for the rest
i mean comon dubs

past month? lmao nigga that thing started 18th of this month

ah didnt see the date