Can I call da police on these jehovas? come knockin on my door, im tryin sleep befo work

Can I call da police on these jehovas? come knockin on my door, im tryin sleep befo work.

If you are a female, then yes, you just have to claim 'rape'. If male, no. End of story.

Nope they will knock down your door for being an atheist Sup Forums tard prepare for no sleep

Convert to Islam and tell them that you will kill them for being infidels if they don't leave

Do female jehovas even exist??? Ive never seen one.

My friend told them that he was a devil worshiper and started to call SATAN...! They ran out of his yard.

you can read on on their lingo enough to tell them you've been excommunicated from their church, they'll tell all their cronies to take your address off their soliciting list.

Usually works but youll get the occasional braindead jahova who didn't read what addresses are a no-go, and they'll try you anyways.
Before I learned about that trick, I used to keep a boombox by my door and just cranked it up on Sundays so any conversation I had with them was drowned out and unintelligible.

It always seemed like it would be fun to actually talk to them, but its not. they're always selling you on why the world is at its worst right now, and the only salvation is their way. No amount of evidence to the contrary will change their mind or message. might as well argue with a robo call

I always get a family, man and woman, often with a kid or two. maybe thats a southern hospitality thing

You think if I went talk to them with a gun on my hip they'd get scared?

Not enough to leave. I think you'd probs make them nervous at first but you really have to spook them for them to run away
they think they're helping you somehow

Ill take things that never happened for 500

>the eternal suffering male

Just post a sign and don't be an asshole. They're usually really nice and don't push.

"No solicitation please." Will do just fine.

Wagecuck

ex-jw here, tell them not to call again. They'll mark your house as a DNC. Do not call. Its literally that simple

>Answer the door naked
>Invite them in and stay naked
>If they come in, listen while naked and tell them thanks but no thanks

I answered the door naked once, they didn't come in and they didn't come back.

Ask them why they would deny a dying child a life-saving blood transfusion?

Yeah my dude the police wont do anything. Just tell them that you sleep suring the day, and dont want them to come anymore.
No soliciting doesnt work. They technically arent soliciting (asking for money), but no religious literature or something along those lines does.

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I'm getting trolled right?
There's noone who'd call the cops because some religious nuts asked them to talk about gesus krist.
I can't imagine that someone would tip his fedora THAT hard.

Grow a pair of balls, tell them to fuck off and close the door.
They dont come back

Don’t be such a pussy. I live 5 minutes from a JW “hall” or whatever TF they call it. They come by once every 5 years or so and immediately leave when you’re not interested.

Of course. Are you all shut-ins who haven’t been outside ever? The JW couples who stand on street corners almost always include at least one woman.

No. That’s how they do it. This or two women. I (rarely, but consistently) get them like this in the Northeast as well as different countries overseas where I often stay for the summer.

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just drop your pants and start masturbating

sometimes they will join in the fun

Dated one for a year or more. Thought I was going to marry that woman regardless of crazy cult. Just do what other user said, tell them you got excommunicated by the elders from another city.

Or throw one of their scriptures back at them. "You don't yoke yourselves with nonbelievers."

Such people do exist. It’s mostly severely disturbed shut-ins or political extremists who really think you’re committing a crime by walking across their front lawn to get to their door bell.

Every 2 or 4 years (depending how close my area’s midterm election shapes up to be) I walk from door to door in my town and knock on doors to get people off their lazy asses and vote.
>democracy, mmmkay?

Or how about listening to what they have to say and maybe start going to the Kingdom Hall with them. Save yourself, the end of the world is near.

i just put a gate on my driveway, keeps the loonies and negroes out

Got visited by 2 today, even had a kid with them, told them that if they leave me alone with the kid for a few hours to play with, Id join em.
They turned around and left.
Went after them for a few feet, asking them, why they are leaving.
I dont know about you but I dont think they are coming back.

Ex JW here. Ama?

Find a single female of the group. Chat her up. A lot of times they're dtf because they're looking for a husband.

see

what got you in? (guessing parents, but who knows?)

what got you out?

what do you regret most?

youve never been visited by these fucks have you, you have no idea how annoyingly persistent they are.

Be real, you don’t work and if you call the police, they’d shoot you

Parents yeah.

Got out by moving to a different continent. Went to the Kingdom Hall there on and off but didn't really connect with any of them so they probably didn't even notice when I suddenly stopped showing up.

I regret my childhood. Grew up with no birthdays, not celebrating holidays, things like that really isolate a child. You're different than everyone else.

Do you think you might not have gotten out had you not moved? Too much pressure from family to stay? Did you move to get out?

Sorry about birthdays and holidays. That sucks. What about the rest of the year, though? Could you have non-JW friend over at your house? Could you go to non-JW houses? Did you even have non-JW friends? Public or private school?

Public school, yeah, had non-JW friends. Never really had anyone over our house and never really went to anyone elses.

I think if I hadn't moved I'd still be in it. Family is very JW and would've been a shitstorm had I stopped going to meetings were I still there. I moved for a work opportunity, the getting out was a lucky side effect lol

My neighbor used to have this problem. Two adults and a 15 year old girl would come by every week.
He got some books from ex-JWs and would invite them in and debate them every week, eventually he started doing so in his underwear and drinking a lot during these sessions. I think when he hit on the 15 year old and tried to give her a beer was the last time he saw them.

You type like a fucking nigger
You sure you have a job other than selling dime bags on the corner?

>invites JWs into his house
>complains that they’re coming back
clearly not the sharpest tool in the shed

so how's you relationship with your JW family now? they're just pretending they don't know you're out?

and how's life outside been? you're social enough to get a new family? (you know, that whole "relationship" thing?)

The pleasure of living in a gated community.
They and others like them sneak in all the time.
Call police, get them papered for trespassing, escorted out of community.
Management goes to court gets their temple, synagogue, church, mosque issued a restraining order.
Fools come in again, with lawyer, claiming 1st amendment rights, separation of church and state, freedom of speech, that they are allowed to be on public property.
Call police, community is private, gated, posted.
Board President arrives with restraining order and no trespassing papers.
Arrested and taken away.
It works, you have to stick with it.

You can have them papered for stepping off the sidewalk, public property and on to your private property, if they come back they can be arrested.
Sometimes they will stand on the sidewalk to loudly pray for you, cops can move them along unless the remain in motion, no standing still, that becomes loitering.

When I lived in a regular neighborhood they always showed up at the holidays, hoping to guilt trip you, got a trespassing order, they got pissed and did some protests, I just turned on my sprinklers, unfortunately some of the sprinkler heads are broken so big jets spray all over, in winter this is not fun and they left.

I have also found that the Jesus folks really hate it when you talk to them about the Prophet Mohammed, they freak out.

They really freak out about being around other religious activity. Just put a big sign on your door that says

"NO SOLICITING. RELIGIOUS SOLICITORS WILL RECEIVE SATANIC CURSE CEREMONY"

Yeah, my life is thankfully pretty normal now. I went through a few...."freedom" phases, what I describe as being liberated lol. But ultimately I'm doing well.

Don't talk to family. Sometimes dad, but rarely.

fwiw, my aunt (twice divorced, go-once-a-year cafeteria catholic, but the warmest and most generous person ever) had a neighbor who was JW. by the time they were both alone (aunt divorced for last time; JW widowed, I guess), they hung out together. JW was this sweet old lady who never bothered anybody. would give aunt one of them brochures every couple of months or so (which aunt would promptly recycle), but that was pretty much it.

Yes, you live on private property, they are trespassing, loitering and soliciting. All 3 are crimes and you witness them commit these crimes repeatedly every time they knock on the neighbors door. They will try to say they are doing charity work so it's ok but they don't mention charity when you open the door, they try and recruit members and talk about religion, not collect money for charity. So now you can tell them they are also lying, which is a sin, and committing criminal activities. Also if you have a fence or blockage on your property, that means no trespassing. You can also have your neighborhood put signs on the entrance to prevent this.

Yeah, there really can be some JWs who are genuinely good people, with good intentions. They just found the wrong religion to be good in, if that makes sense. I knew some genuinely good people, but they just don't realize how cultish their religion really is.

This is no joke because this is exactly how criminals set up to rob your house. They get familiar to your property, see if you have dogs, note your cars and see if you're gone on vacation. Then they come back at night rob your house. Shoot them fuckers first, call the cops later.

All religions are a cult. JW is no exception. They may be nice people but they are being tricked by their leaders to trespass.

even my super-tolerant aunt, who had been married to a muslim (and no, that's not why the marriage failed) was pretty clear about how abusive the cult was to her friend.

Guys, I've got it. Put a sign on the door that says

"Religious solicitors must agree to receive pagan blessing".

I just tell them they have the wrong apartment and slam the door in their face. Most people won't do that. Most people kind of apologetically weasel out of the conversation after grudgingly accepting some leaflet, so they aren't really used to having people just close the door on them.
Honestly, even though they were interrupting something and I gave zero fucks about what they were bothering me for, it was worth it to hear that moment of bewilderment on the porch right after the door slammed.

They aren't even witnesses, they're just repeating what they believe to be witness testimony.
It's Jehova's Hearsay, really.

i don't know where you live, but here in america, the first amendment precludes any wholesale ban on people crossing your property to ring your doorbell to talk to you about politics or religion.

Oh yea I know all about the irony of religious slavery.

>youve never been visited by these fucks have you, you have no idea how annoyingly persistent they are.

you guys want the secret on them blacklisting your house and running away?

tell them you're Catholic. they won't come back.

Or Jewish. Or simply say “yeah, no” when you see them and close your door (you don’t even have to slam it.)

This really isn’t rocket science. Just don’t engage them in conversation. THAT is what makes them think you may be waffling.

The best way to keep them off of your property is simple you keep a no soliciting sign next to your gate as well as a no trespassing sign because if they decide they want to go pass the no trespassing sign and the no soliciting sign it's considered trespassing and you can call the police