/heem/: Schaub, Poetry and Anger

fuck u goofThere once was a group of young fight fans and bros,
Who hated Canucks
(Except Snacks&Hoez)
A rowdy young group,
They once all got duped,
When one young Canuck
Filled an OP with poop.

They all gave him (You)s
When he started a ruse,
And they all bitched and whined
When his posts had no news.
"A couple posts early!"
Cried Yankees, so surly.
"My OP template always must be re-used!"

Down to the South worked a grunt on the docks,
Who believed that this genius,
He'd surely outfox.
He'd post his TV,
And then there would be,
An applause as his internet friends
All agreed.

This seemed very odd
To the sly young Canuck.
Why would one post a pic
of a TV that sucks?
His intrigue, uncommitted,
His point was transmitted,
That the dock workers brain
Was, clearly, dim witted.

The response was an outcry of butthurt and tears.
A shitposting spree that, to some,
Lasted years.
He'd form an attack,
Gather friends, in a pack,
And begin to post pics of a man,
Who was black.

The Canuck then did chuckle,
At all the hubbub.
He cracked all his knuckles,
And hopped in the tub.
He'd write all these goofs,
Poetry on that night,
With a picture, as proof,
That his skin was quite white!

The dock worker reeled in shock, then.
"I'm BTFO'd!", he'd shouted, "AGAIN!"
His claim was addressed,
And his brain was depressed,
But his focus remained,
Quite the same.
(Still obsessed.)

The tears then began
Like the rain in a flood.
His soul filled with pain,
When he'd just been a stud.
But his stupid brain showed:
With your thought process slowed,
You get BTFO'd
By lmaobud.

Other urls found in this thread:

archive.4plebs.org/sp/thread/74589202/#74589521
bloodyelbow.com/2014/2/19/5427802/daniel-cormier-admits-poor-weight-management-caused-him-to-drop-out-ufc-170-2008-olympics
ufc.com/news/ufc-182-daniel-cormier-confronts-fight-of-life?id=
streamable.com/fquqy
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

i can't take you seriously after how completely and utterly spergOP btfo'd you in the art of making threads and winning thread wars for months at a time

>the art of making threads and winning thread wars for months at a time

god fucking damn are you ever gay

Adan is a man with nothing to lose
Spergy is a man with everything to lose.
>the op matters

it's an art and I fucking murdered you in it

"the OP matters" - stupid idiot

dwarf

"making the OP is an art"

I am impressed by your performance.

Adan I think you're becoming a hack. It's been 10 PPV's since your last poem man

I hardly ever post anymore my man and I haven't written any poetry period let alone mma related in a long while now

I have inspiration now that I'm a dad so maybe that'll make me want to create more or some shit I dunno, sorry for leaving you hanging for so long. I know you've asked a bunch

>now that I'm a dad

>height 5' 10"
>weight 155lbs
could I be a fighter lads?

archive.4plebs.org/sp/thread/74589202/#74589521
kek

Father of the Year

>the dates are all fucked up and the links are all broken

what did he mean by this...?

Fucking loves it doesn't he , he's pretty much coke the person

Good thread

Good thread, OP. Anything is better than NotePad's.

The UFC is like 70% beta male champions, bud.

>JJ
Talented and fearless but looks like a goblin and probably watches her bf fuck more fertile, voluptuous slav goddesses while she flicks her bean in the corner.
>Nunes
Classic alpha turbodyke.
>Mighty Mouse
Gamer manlet whose taller wife owns a dildo because he can't satisfy her. Kids were probably artificially inseminated.
>cody
Could be alpha, but arguably more feminine than his gf who probably pegs him regularly if their Halloween pic is anything to go by. He's probably fucking PVZ as well.
>Aldo
Nobody more cucked in the history of the FW division. Currently holds a belt he never won off the previous champ who heemed him stiff in >13 seconds
>gooby
Clearly alpha, but did hold up a whole division last year over a temper tantrum.
>Woodley
Constantly whines, race-baits, and forced us to sit through maybe the two worst title fights of all time because he was scared to engage.
>bispong
Pretty alpha. That will change once they lock him in with Romero.
>DC
>jon
>Stipe
Alpha

tbol will come later in the cycle, fuck up fool

...

...

>Talented and fearless but looks like a goblin and probably watches her bf fuck more fertile, voluptuous slav goddesses while she flicks her bean in the corner

for sure, she even admitted that she doesn't check up on him when she's abroad

>Jon
WHO?

Hi, please delete this.

>NotePad

whoever came up with that deserves at least fifty (You)s, just incredible

...

WAS IT YOU JON JONES
YOU CHICKEN LEG LOOKIN' MOTHERFUCKER

Dc is a bitch. Other than that OK. Also Cody fucking wrecked and danced on the most feminine fag ever "Dom".
Can we please stop the "DC is a hard worker meme"? This pathetic fatfuck failed to make weight at the 2008 Olympic games. He loves to talk up how he placed 4th in Athens, but he never mentions the time he couldnt
stop eating cake and chicken when it mattered most.

bloodyelbow.com/2014/2/19/5427802/daniel-cormier-admits-poor-weight-management-caused-him-to-drop-out-ufc-170-2008-olympics

Oh yeah, when his daughter died, he couldn't even afford a headstone. Some hard-worker. Some great family man.

ufc.com/news/ufc-182-daniel-cormier-confronts-fight-of-life?id=

Dude's a fucking bum. I can't wait til Jones smashes this cornball uncle tom.

Can someone post the Scott jorgensen one?

the beautiful dance they did just prior to the takedown made this expression of artistic violence just that much better

>Classic alpha turbodyke.
Not quite

streamable.com/fquqy

Honestly m8, except for MM, Woodley who is a whiner, and DC, everyone else is relatively alpha.
Even though Aldo got BTFO I wouldn't say he's a bitch (other than Conor's bitch)

100% forgot that belt/division/fighter existed

literally behaving like a dude out with his wife lol

pretty alpha honestly

I know this is bait but I still feel obligated to point out that there's no money in wrestling, so you end up busting your ass for peanuts if you want to chase the dream. Hendo and Couture did the same thing and also transitioned to MMA flat broke around the same age.

Are you implying she doesn't "man"handle that poor girl once the doors are closed and the lights are off?

Do any of you fags find these silly poems funny?

I find posts like this funny

The UFC doesn't want majority alpha males as champs because they want to go mainstream, and the current mainstream is fixated on passive betacuck manchildren.

>lights off

fatty detected

Name one popular betacuck manchild fighter.

I can't claim to understand the POV of a lesbian, but Amanda Nunes isn't a girl you fuck with the lights on.

Cody garbrandt

Women don't care about your appearance (to a certain extent), they care about how you make them feel

Shob

I'm sort of confused, not that I give a shit but...

Conor said he's taking time off to look after Dee, yet he's uploading all these pics where he's obviously partying and not giving a shit.

Yes

Cody's just really stupid, he's not a betacuck manchild.

Shob is a douchey jock.

Dee is a cuckqueen, obviously.

this

>gooby alpha
>stands on an oil prince's bentley and gets called out for it on instagram

gooby

Shob gets routinely emasculated on social media and apologizes for it.

schaub is a big dumb bully and like all big dumb bullies he's insecure. insecure ≠ beta manchild though

Adan! I need Bigg Ronda pictures

either way, schaub isn't a fighter.

I got you bruv

>claim all week how you wont get taken down once
>get ragdolled for a 7 minutes
>throw illegal strike
>win

Cant wait until luke BTFO this filthy muslim

>I want Amanda to get comfortable
>make it 170

...

>get ragdolled for a 7 minutes
>for a 7 minutes

>he knows the post is true so he resorts to spelling mistakes

What point is she trying to make here? That her husband isn't fat? That men aren't bigger than that on average?

I have no idea why she is saying this.

>whiteboi gets BTFO
>n-next time

rinse and repeat

shes implying honda is not built like a man

you're pretty good

it's a meme, you *p******s d*p*

Ronda is a strong, feminine woman and J.K. Rowling's husband wears a fight kit.

>your favorite (active) fighter

>the last 3 jobs you've held

NEETS need not reply (but should probably apply because your parents will die at some point)

>illegal
Nope it was ruled legal after watching an illegal slow motion replay. TKO.

good meme

>an illegal slow motion replay.
replay was actually ruled legal m8

Cody and Connor
Engineer at architecture firm
Engineer at tunneling contractor
Inspector for DOT

NOT IN NEW YORK!
/CTEidman

Tbh Holm/Bethe isn't really bad matchmaking, Bethe is ranked #7 or something and Holly is on a 3 fight skid, but it's a terrible main event.
Holly has to get the finish surely.

wrestling is so fucking dumb it triggers me

MMA is honestly just as dumb

not really
mma is real

really dumb

Lawler

Auto Mechanic
Property Management
Underwriting Director

I bounce around because I have no idea what I'm doing with my life.

haha

>mma is real

Is Artem going to unironically fight for the belt next year lads

But it has flash KO's too

You're thinking UFC, he's thinking Bellator

Why do you think Conor ran from the division?

I don't get where they're going with it. Do they want to set up a match with Nunes? Can't see them bothering with a pit stop if the plan is to have her fight de Randamie again.

And then there's the fight itself...Bethe is bad enough to get set up for a big head kick KO but it'll probably take a couple rounds of posing first. If they both come in tentative and it goes 5 it'll be yet another main event disaster this year.

Obviously

Is Lawler deleted or will he come back strong after his long layoff?

I think as long as he isn't totally shot he will destroy Cerrone

>I don't get where they're going with it
Really? They're putting Holm on the headline to draw the casuals. Honda with terrible striking SHEEMed Bethe in the first. I think they just want to give Holm a fight she can win by KO so she gets off this losing streak and gets some of those fans back.
I completely forgot the GDR rematch was even on the cards, wonder why they didn't do that since Cyborg is MIA

Fuck I hadn't thought about the fact it would be 5 rounds. Pretty funny, ngl. Holm usually grows towards the end of fights though so I think she should be able to put boxercise away.

Is that fight confirmed?

I really don't want cowboy to lose again but I like Lawler

Strongly rumored.

Lawler's run at the gold 2014-2016 was a ridiculously fun improbability that will probably not be repeated. I imagine he'll still win here and there, but at best he'll be a WW gatekeeper who occasionally cranks out a FotN.

Noice.

The first time that fight was schedule I was quite confident in picking Cerrone because I thought it was too soon for a Lawler return after getting brutally KO'd. Now that he's had a long time to recover and now that Cerrone's just coming off a pretty brutal loss I'm not so sure anymore. Really interesting fight anyway.

Lawler needs the W more than Cowboy, I feel.

>Really? They're putting Holm on the headline to draw the casuals
Maybe I'm off the mark but I guess I didn't think of Holm as a big enough name among casuals for something like this. Even so, it's only a matter of time until we get another 5 rounds of ISHZ ISHZ ISHZ so she seems like an odd choice to promote.

If they don't kill 145 altogether they'll have to give Cyborg a shot, the champion is literally the only fighter in the division now.

hes gonna get heemed again if his next fight is cowboy, and he will retire