Ok poorfags. Time to earn your game instead of begging like a bitch. I laugh, you win.
YOUR RULES: >link your steam account >post a joke or a youtube video >if i laugh, I gift you the first item on your wishlist under 20 bucks. >post proof after I gift you >1 or 2 light chuckles do not count, make me "burst out" laughing, don't show me some cute shit
MY RULES: >face distortion to avoid laughing is ok >controlled breathing to resist laughs is ok >touching my hands to my face (covering mouth, etc.) to resist laughs is not ok >saying "woooooo" to resist a laugh is ok >my say is final on whether or not you've won
if this goes well I'll throw down 100-150 bucks for you guys around christmas in this same format
I'm a grown ass man i don't need to prove I've got a couple hundred bucks to spare.
Levi Reyes
Steamcommunity.com/id/smigglegod/wishlist/ Jesus Christ fed 2,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, but Adolf Hitler made 6 million Jews toast.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"
Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, “Did your hear the news – Mike is dead??!!!” “Woah, what the hell happened to him?” “Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn’t brake properly and boom – He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof – Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window.” “What a horrible way to die!” “No no, he survived that, that didn’t kill him at all. So, he’s landed in my upstairs bedroom and he’s all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He’s just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones.” “What a way to go, that’s terrible!” “No no, that didn’t kill him he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him.” “Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!”
“No no, that didn’t kill him, he even survived that. So he’s on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him.” “Man, what a way to go!” “No no, he survived that, he survived that! He’s lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn’t mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him.” “Now that is one awful way to go!” “No no, he survived that…” “Hold on now, just how the hell did he die?” “I shot him!” “You shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?” “He was wrecking my house.”
>Why did princess Diana cross the road? >Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Benjamin Thomas
...
John Long
hints are GAY
Bentley Reyes
OP here. Your humor sucks and you seem to be mostly preteens. Here's some hints:
>anti-humor >dark-humor >epic fails won't work >"lol so randum" humor won't work >mean racial humor won't work unless it's really funny, then it might work
Why did the riot police officer wake up early? To beat the crowd
Landon Hughes
favorite of mine, always gets me laughing
Owen Jackson
Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was fucking dead.
Nolan Campbell
Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: ‘I’m lonely. I wish my friends we’re back here.’
>A black man is on a beach one day, and he finds a magic lamp. >He rubs the lamp and out pop two genies. >The genies tell him they are so powerful that all he has to do is think his wish and its done. >The man wakes up in a huge mansion. >Hes walking down this hall and hears giggling. >100 Virgins are just standing there butt naked. >He takes two and goes to town on em. >All of a sudden two men white robes string the man up by a noose. >Just before the mans execution one of the men remove his hood. I>t's the genie. >Now man the house I can understand >The bitches I can understand >But hung like a nigger?
David Ross
one more
Ryder Williams
Q: Why did Susan fall off the swings? A: Because she had no arms.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Susan.
Q: How do you make a clown cry. A: You throw an axe in his chest.
Q: Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: Becausd he was hit by a bus.
Q: Where did Suzie go during the bombing? A: Everywhere.
