Masturbation

Masturbation.

Techniques, places, stories, how do you do it?

I went over to a girls house and hooked up. I fucked her two times when her parents came home. I jumped out the second story window and called an uber. While I was waiting for the uber I jacked off in her front yard to get rid of my blue balls. That was one of the most autistic experiences of my life

...

There's this Chinese take-out place near my house that has the best General Tso's chicken I've ever tasted. There are two women that work there, I think they are related. They are both as Chinese as they can fucking be, and I don't think the older one even speaks english. They're both attractive if you're into asian chicks. Every time i order food there, I go in the bathroom and jack off thinking about fucking them while waiting for my order.

Ive got this one technique where i chop myself in the ass, like a karate chop, while i wring my cock like a wet towel. I would teach you but your chi level isnt high enough.

Never masturbated in public but a while ago I had to set up, and tear down at my work for a yoga session. Something about me being in a balcony above those girls where they couldn't see me made it really tough not to masturbate in public. Thanks for that urge Sup Forums

Came on my nextdoor neighbor's door knob at the apartment complex I used to live at.

what do you work at?

I have stolen panties from almost every female friend I have ever had, since my teens, to use as masturbatory aids. Attractiveness level of these girls is not a factor. If I get a clear shot at your panty drawer, I'll be fucking your panties within 24 hours.

Sucked my own during NoFap...didn't lose right.

Earlier today I came while watching one of those compilation videos of Nancy Pelosi forgetting how to speak during press conferences.

super sad.

YOU'RE super sad, you faggot fuck. Go ahead, let's hear your boring-as-fuck jack off stories.

Live in Italy > Find girl > Pull dick out.

calm down loser. Yours is boring as fuck. It just also happens to be really sad.

i mean, i usually grab my penis and shake while aroused?

Never jerked off at school or work. As a kid i would do it infront of the TV late at night for that sweet midnight softcore porno. Now that i'm older i'll jerk it to porno on my computer into tissues or on my phone while in the bathroom for no-cleanup.

>be me grade 8
>church retreat
>week long
>doing public services outside in the hot sun
>girls in group wearing tight shorts
>full mast
>after 3 days go by can't take it anymore
>down time at church, everyone is napping
>see girls laying down in courtyard on stomachs
>This one blonde chick had a fat ass
>go to church library that has glass surround and view of courtyard
>alone and dark
>lay behind bookshelf so my body is covered
>still have view of hot blonde and her juicy ass
>pressure in my balls unparalleled
>20k leagues under the sea has nothing on this shit
>pull down shorts and begin stroking
>after 4 strokes my cock head is filling up
>let it fill to the brim
>hold it until I can't anymore
>earthshattering orgasm
>blow huge sticky load all over carpet in library
>lay there and comprehend life for a couple minutes
>pull up shorts and exit library
>meet up with friend
>"there you are dude I thought you were jacking off" he said jokingly
>laugh at the irony
>carry on with my day.

> I would teach you but your chi level isnt high enough.

10/10 story.

pull dick out for harambe!

Source?

Fapped to step-sister sleeping, slapped my dick on her ass and everything

>>back in high school
>>was in the swim and dive team
>>Girls and boys practice was held at the same time at this local rec center.
>>We had the entire pool area to our selfs.
>>Girls practiced on one side, Guys on the other
>>See girls in super tight wet swimsuits, nips and camel toe
>>getting horny
>>told coach I got a cramp and asked if I could use the hottub to losen up.
>>Hot tube is on girls side.
>>Go into hot tube alone
>>pulls speedo to the side
>>jerks it while staring at girls
>>finishes in tub

I did this like 3 times during the season.

I used to drop loads in my stepsister's shampoo bottle.

KEK , They ever find out?

Nope. I would read her diary when she wasn't home and jack off reading about her fooling around with guys. She was 8 days older than me and our parents were married when we were both in high school. We watched a porn together once, first one she'd ever seen.

i am fucken MOVING to Italy

Nice. She hot?

Yeah, blonde with a thicc ass, her sister (who I never lived with) was a 10 tho suuuper thicc..( Meeting them during christmas so Maybe I'll have some fun or maybe I won't)

...

any pics?

>"wong, the hairy smelly american is here again for his 3 serving take-out special and free toilet paper"
>"ching chong chang wing tang tong teng yen wo chia"

Can't get them cus the pics Ive taken are in a .rar file on my phone + don't want to share ig/fb pics... I might some day but not right now. Want to stay as a anonfag

Too bad but I get you

>bunch of nolife neckbeards sharing masturbation techniques

Sup Forums in a nutshell

Weirdo

I usually do it in a restaurant while screaming my own name

Normiefag

>posts on Sup Forums

>fucked her two times
>jacked off to get rid of blue balls

yeah what^?? lol

just because you fuck dont mean you ejaculate faggot

then how can you count it more than once?

Get played

I love church camp.

Same. I stealth fapped many times at many church camps

Anyone got more cum shark webms?

KEK

I hate beating off at work.

I like jacking off with friends.

Why? Nothing beats getting paid to crank one off.

There are probably 40 or more women where I work and I have imagined each and every one of them naked at one time or another. There are half a dozen or so that I regularly think about while fapping.

>20k leagues

Topkek

Mah boi
>Any female I find mildly attractive and have access to good set of panties
>Friends
>Co-workers
>Cousins
>Neighbors

I like to do it in public toilets

At first I read that as 3 times during the session

> a porn

What the fuck? Who would ever say "a porn"?

I used to have this before my drive crashed. Anyone got a link to the vid?

I love smoking some weed, it gets me a bit hornier. Then check here or other places for fun amateur porn.

I love using my gf's vibrator on my balls while I jerk it, and sometimes I'll do a whippet for amazing edging.

So what's your excuse then, father holier than?

It was a VHS tape. What's your issue?

search for dickflash on xhamster

wiz, thanks