I fucked up, big time. I basically screwed up my scholarship that would've ensured I got a free degree...

I fucked up, big time. I basically screwed up my scholarship that would've ensured I got a free degree. I have no plan B, like any sane person would've had if they're in my situation. If I screw this up, I am riddled with debt for basically my whole life. I have a chance to save this, but I have no idea what to do if it doesn't go through.

I need some straight up, serious life advice. Some of you will joke with me, some will tell me to kill myself, but I hope one of you knows what the fuck to do.

your pic related. join the military. get govt. bucks for college.

>I am riddled with debt for basically my whole life

No shit 90s kid. You were born a slave

Drug crime? Rat him out. Life is long and making your stand now will be foolish.

join military.

I'm 30 and I regret never doing it.

And I know it's not "too late" because of my age, but.. mistakes were made.

also this. Unless you're dealing with some mafia tier drug dealers, i doubt you have to worry about any sort of retaliation.

In any case, once your name is cleared just buy a gun and get a license to carry a concealed weapon.

user, It's your father.
It's time you joined the Navy like I and my father before me did. You need to begin learning Korean for the upcoming conflict.
It's never too late to make a good choice like signing up for the service.
I will never be angry at the choices you make son, Father will always support you.
I just hope you make the right choice and join the Navy. Worst case scenario you have debt for a decade.

Not that serious.

Too overweight, but would love to.

Imposter! For my father is dead!

get the degree then move out of the USA. problem solved.

yeah, then wind up with legs blown off or worse in syria or afghanistan or niger or whatever other place the USA is fucking with that month

We need fucking context. You are too vague. What do you want advice on exactly?

we need a little bit more insight, OP.
Drugs? Cheating? Is this a masters program/stem related? otherwise maybe make a financial decision and leave for a few semesters. This whole 'get into college immediately' shit is kind of ridiculous. Working to acrue some capital has never hurt anybody. If anything, it builds a better CV and application

What do I do with my life if my tightrope slim of a chance if fucked beyond belief?

I will never die as long as you remember me son.

How much money we talking here?

$10,000 - $25,000. Minimum wage will never cover that.

This

(Love you dad, rip ... q-q)

Just lose weight lol

That would require.... asking /fit/. I'm too scared of that place.

Make friends with gangsters. Dont tell them where you live. Sell their blow. Dont snort it ever. You'll have more money than frets.

I know some people. But it's too risky.

Not bad actually. Could be much worse.

Military - learn a trade.

If not you can find decent jobs that pay out without a diploma.

You are going to live uncomfortably for a while.

If all else fails declare bankruptcy

spend a few weeks researching music
download every song that has won an AMA in that past hundred years
become wedding DJ
call local Wedding DJ DJ and offer your services
requires no skill
set the playlist before you're even there
money is really good
you can make more in one night than a factory worker in a week.

Hmm... sounds interesting.

...

d-does this work..?

Go to Europe and become a Eurofag? Not gonna cut it.

Odin be with you user

>yeah, then wind up with legs blown off or worse in syria or afghanistan or niger or whatever other place the USA is fucking with that month


Jesus fucking christ the US military has over 1 million people in it and the last 17 years there's only been something like 30k or something injured. Chances are fucking slim. Just pick one of the million other jobs that doesn't involve kicking in doors and stop making excuses.

Well heres the thing, just moving to another country isn't as easy as libs would have you believe. For most of the world, immigrating is a long, tedious, expensive process.

In fact, the US is in many ways a lot more easy to get into than developed European countries. Except if you're from one of the fucked up Muslim countries they have a strange fetish for right now expect to be turned down if you just show up thinking they'll welcome you in with open arms.

Basically you need to get a job first which is actually not that hard. This won't make you a citizen. You can still be deported back to the US. But you have plenty of time to work on the longer process of fully immigrating.

Thank you. If my slim chance goes through, I'll take the image I posted and put a party hat on Joker and maybe throw in some confetti and start a new thread with it.

Join the national guard.

You stay home, learn a trade, get out in 4 years.

Pay back your debts with your allowance and break even, then you are a free man.

It might just work damn it!

Well OP here, thanks for the advice. I will be present in 18-24 hours from now with the results

what's the signal? how do we know its you

...

We won't. It was an attention seeking thread.

Join the air Force. Literally have no idea why people go to college out of high school. Get experience in a career you like at the same time you get a free degree while you're in. And once you get out you still have another 4 years of free college after that, idiot. Don't have to get shot at, still get to have fun. I've been all over the world working on jets while at the same time earned a BA and have an A&P cert. Plus I will have a lifetime paycheck of $2400 a month, while getting another 4500 a month to go to school for free for the next 4 years.

Expect this.