Wat do Sup Forums i fell asleep without closing my browser usually it's in private mode...

wat do Sup Forums i fell asleep without closing my browser usually it's in private mode. My mom came in and looked at what was on the screen now she wants to know what Sup Forumsis she said she heard things but she's waiting out in another room for me to explain it to her she seems really mad like she might kick me out. This is worse than the time I was on the computer jerking off as a teenager and she walked in I only had enough time to put my dick away or close what was on the screen so she started asking "what coom un dagny" was like she could hardly read.

Other urls found in this thread:

pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1289462460
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

>This is worse than the time I was on the computer jerking off as a teenager
so OP is not a teenager anymore

>My mom came in and looked at what was on the screen
WTF bro, move out of your mom's basement lol

how do you expect me to just move out? you think someone is just going to let me move into their place? they'll expect me to do them favors or something like stuffing them full of my dick.

come on this isn't funny i dont have rent money, getting kicked out will just fuck my shit up

>what coom un dagny
what language is this? are you italian?

what does she look like?

who my mom? dude she's like 60

Just tell her you sell photos of yourself to anonymous investors overseas.

so
she could be hot

And you're 40? Living in her basement? Being kicked out would be the best thing that could happen to you.

this
explain this op or i wont be able to help you here

where is this place where only women own houses?

LARPistan

Why would it be a big deal? It's just an imageboard where people post anonymously about a bunch of different topics. My mother's 70 and she used to check /gif/ for gore.

isn't that being invaded by kekistan right now?

Then she want to see the photos. I don't really have any of myself.
maybe if you have a fetish for over weight old ladies and hip replacements
No. I'm in my 30's. All my money goes to my bills. If I had to live out of my car I'm not going to be able to afford paying for gas and shit having to move it around all the time.
What are you talking about nobody said anything about women. You think some woman is just going to let me move in and have sex with her? It'd be the gays probably trying to extort sexual favors for me. Why would I have a problem with having sex with a woman in exchange for a place to chill out for the night??

>still living with his mother
>old enough to post on Sup Forums
kill yourself, unironically, you worthless piece of shit

She's very christian. She thinks Sup Forums is full of perverts and satanists.
oh yeah? say that to my face soy boy

Mone out already, dont you have a job or edjucation by now, being 30, you should be able to take care of yourself at this point in your life.
I just moved out myself and it's both the best thing that's happened to me, and a shitshow cuz i'm now fully responsible for my own life. Worth tho.

Get a consolidated loan if it’s just stupid debt you’ve built up because you can’t manage your money. It’s your moms house so she probably pays for the water and shit which would leave you with a phone which shit get a flip phone if you’re poor. A car payment in which case sell the piece of shit and get a beater unless that’s what you already have insurance which can’t be too high unless you are a terrible fucking driver and that’s it. Get a real fucking job learn a trade or some shit and move your lazy neck beard ass out of your moms basement.

>She thinks Sup Forums is full of perverts and satanists.

Isn't it?

Also, post pic of moms bobs

googled it verbatim some stuff
pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1289462460
I believe this is what he was referencing.

I have a job it's just that I don't get enough hours to afford everything. It's not like the economy went through a recession when I was in my 20's. The job market is set up for rich people to get richer. Have you noticed how most every body now a days is poor there is hardly any middle class left, you're either poor or really well off. There is no in between. They only like to hire women in most jobs anyway. Even the place by me is all women or minorities, they only hire white guys that have disabilities because of legal stuff. I tried applying everywhere in like a 10 mile radius for years until I could afford a car. If you're not going to be realistic and helpful why are you just trying to be a jerk?

this is Sup Forums - ffs
regardless you HAVE to work harder, go to a dock or pick-up place for manual work

How am I suppose to take out loans and stuff, they don't just hand out money to people that are broke. Loans are an investment where they want to make cash off interest payments. It's not like they do it out of the goodness of their heart.

Did yout think about moving in with a friend and sharing rent ?

>Isn't it?
idk sometimes that one satanist guy starts threads about hating christians. i just figured most people here are incels why else would they sit around posting porn constantly?
There is no working harder if people don't want to pay for work.
I'm in my 30's and live with my mother, everyone hates me. Where do you think I'm going to get friends?

plot twist op's mom is Dagny

A consolidated loan are for if you have more than one loan on thing and a credit card that you owe on. All it does is combine them all into one so you only make one payment instead of several

you have the internet, pick up coding or one of the other millions of things you can learn online for free instead of being a waste of space on Sup Forums for your mom to take care of.
Stop being so fucking helpless and go do something about it. The only thing holding you back is you, so just give yourself the finger and go get a good life.

>apply to job online
>so user where did you learn coding?
>self taught
>wait a minute hr is set to filter out the applications that don't have a school degree how did you even get this interview?
like do you know anybody that just learned coding and got a job with no experience. didn't think so. and i have been trying to learn it in my spare time it's not like i can really afford computer stuff i really dont know why you think the internet isnt full of people already working on libre and open source stuff they're already not hiring.

here is a trick, go rob a bank, coming out of prison you get more effort put into your future than out of school

no srly what should i tell my mom i hear her stomping around when she walks, she's really heavy so you can hear her wherever she's moving

Either the door is right in front of your screen (in which case you should really change the desk position) or you have very poor reflexes and ears.

No usually I have a private browser window open and I close it. I was just going to lay down for a minute so I forgot to close it. I nodded off and my mom came in. Her crying woke me up. She started screaming about the whisky bottle I been drinking and then started asking about Sup Forums. She said she wants an explanation about what it is and why she shouldn't kick me out.

Bitch slap her and tell her to mind her own fucking business. Also tell her you want some pancakes.

Hitting women is wrong. That's not funny.
Why would you go jumping from domestic assault to pancakes?
I can't tell my mom Sup Forums told me to freaking slap her around. This isn't helping.

Tell her the truth, that it is a forum for gay guys.

well i mean there are a lot of trap threads now but im going to be sleeping in my car if she thinks it's for the gays.

Maybe pedo is better?

...

Tell her the story of the little boy who cried chicken tendies.

>tell her it's for a school project
>tell her it's "art"
>tell her you want to see what will be posted next
>tell her you're gay
>tell her that the Sup Forums guys will kill you if you expose their secret jack off group
>kys
>walk out naked with a boner. She'll have bigger things to worry about them.

>bigger things to worry about
You're just making mountains out of mole hills

I was definitely not talking about his weiner

download unity and start making android games idk what else to say that could help you

Lol, I hope OP's mom reads through this thread before she makes him start eating out of the trash

Cum on Dagny.

You've got good taste.

The recession was a lazy man's excuse maybe 5-8 years ago. The Recession is over. Im 31 and went through the same shit you did and i own a house and 2 cars . Stop making bullshit excuses and do something with your life you sad sack of shit.

Nigga you never heard of an internship?

I don't think any of that will work.
My dick is actually really big. I just don't show it off because my christian upbringing.

well right now it's not like im going to get a job that can put a roof over my head right away, i kind of need to avoid getting kicked out before worrying about making more money. just because other people think i should have my own place doesn't mean the economy is just going to change over night. people want the economy to be fucked up so it's kind of ridiculous people want to blame me for being poor and tell me to just stop being poor.

no she wouldn't read this she seems really mad.

i don't know why girls have such a problem with taking a money shot they're like either super afraid of jizz or just want a cream pie. it gets really boring. or at least they did back when i was younger and not a total loser.
oh hey look at this guy apparently it was the same shit even though he lived in a place where someone actually gave him a chance. same thing though getting handed economic opportunities so you can try to brag about being hard working. fuck you and your silver spoon bourgeoisie boy.
yeah it's that thing they don't do anymore unless you go to college and get offered it by a family friend and they expect you to repay the nepotism by working for free for years.

This is why you never have your monitor facing your door, have funn with being homeless

> my dick is actually really big

Alex, I'll take bullshit for 500!

>My dick is actually really big
I wonder how many times I've read this on Sup Forums...

What why is this so hard to believe? It's not like it's rare or anything. It doesn't pay the bills. girls are afraid of it because of how big it is and only gays seem to want to see it. so it's really pointless showing it off.

ohhh so thats why you're gay

>implying you've ever brought a girl to your mom's house
You don't have to prove anything to us, user

tell her you're tracking paedophiles by baiting them

I'm not gay. I'm in my 30's and live with my mother. What kind of girls you think are going to be interested in that? You don't really seem to understand how having a big dick is actually a problem and makes it even more difficult to get a gf because they think it'll hurt. it's more difficult for them to suck so blowjobs are fucking awful as soon as they put any in it's hitting their gag reflex. you people only think girls like big dicks because you see it in porn where she's getting paid to have sex with one and pretend to like it. it's honestly a curse to have a big dick. if other guys get jealous it means they don't like you too so it makes it harder to get friends even.
i did use to bring girls back there sometimes. but they always want to date or some shit so it's like getting relationship zoned is worse than the friend zone. they dont want to fuck till you agree to date them or whatever. then they start going on about marriage or kids and it's like i just met them a few days ago i dont want to do that with a stranger. plus then the sex will just stop altogether unless they're trying to get the anchor baby.

I love how the top half of this post negates the bottom half
>I'm in my 30's and live with my mother. What kind of girls you think are going to be interested in that?
>i did use to bring girls back there sometimes. but they always want to date or some shit
MGTOW detected

I don't see why you find it weird. Girls use to be interested when I was younger. Once I hit my 20's there just wasn't a point in dating anymore aside from sex and I think it's kind of shallow to try and hook somebody as a fuck buddy. It use to just kind of happen. If girls want to get married and have kids and shit then they should go do that. I'm more concerned about myself I don't need more mouths to feed.

Not sure how I fucked that up so badly. Meant for

he's just trying to make himself feel better about his micropenis

It's not small I nick named it King Dong like King Kong you know what i mean
you're just trying to use reverse psychology or something to try and get me to show you it

It's not weird, it's an obvious lie.
>my dick is big!
>I'm not a catch, but all the girls want to date me
>They're trying to get me to support them by getting pregnant
You live in your mother's basement. You don't get to pretend that you're sexless because of gold diggers

I didn't say they want to date me. I said they use to want to. I didn't say they were trying to get support necessarily the anchor baby is to try and keep you from leaving usually. the support thing is just what they pull to win arguments and shit i think like no it's going to be my way or I'll try to destroy you financially ect.
and yes, most women are gold diggers now. i get a few of them they flat out tell me the only reason they're not interested in dating me is because i don't own enough stuff or have enough to what they consider wealthy. i mean obviously i wouldnt want to be with someone that's that big of a prick toward me and about it all though so i don't really see why they bother telling me.

You literally said that they want to date you and trap you into supporting them in a thread about how you can't even support yourself. Do you want me to link it for you?
>yes, most women are gold diggers now
MGTOW confirmed

I don't know what this mgtow shit is, you don't see me pushing labels on you like "you're a democrat" or something.
I never claimed they wanted to trap me into supporting them. I just said they get attached way too quickly and try to push relationships to be controlling. Why the fuck would I want to move out of my moms house and then have another woman try to act even more controlling? that's like out of the frying pan into the fire.

>they dont want to fuck till you agree to date them or whatever. then they start going on about marriage or kids and it's like i just met them a few days ago
You're in some serious denial. Also MGTOW stands for Men Go Their Own Way and its a philosophy that useless basement dwellers like yourself use to explain away their inability to get a girlfriend. Even if you don't lurk the threads, you certainly spout the rhetoric

fucking fag

pretty sure this kid is a poster child for MGTOW

Well if it's a big enough thing that it's a philosophy then obviously there are a lot of people experiencing it and maybe you're upset about things not being the way you think they are. Why are you pissed at me for not having a girlfriend? are you into cuckolding or are you just mad you can't get one either? I don't do the bull thing pal I believe in the sanctity of marriage and not doing stuff like that with girls that are married. I don't want to rush into marriage either. If the relationship didn't work out and all it's bad for marriage to run off and just get a divorce and stuff. I'm not going to stay in a bad relationship, or just rush into one and make a big commitment with someone I don't know and haven't got along with for a few years to test the waters before getting married.
I think maybe your problem is you're an atheist and just think relationships and people are disposable things. Probably like to hurt people when you move on to the next one and stuff. I don't see why you're coming at me like I'm the bad guy for holding marriage in a higher regard than you do.

>this
Kevin Spacey did it

alright now this is just getting confusing I don't know how the subject got on all this stuff. I can't tell her it's gays and mgtows. I need to come up with something I'm getting really hungry and can't go to the fridge until I explain this stuff to her.

>It's everyone else's fault that I'm alone in my mother's basement
MGTOW re-confirmed

>I'm getting really hungry
I fucking died

tell her you are ministering to them. you are being like jesus and are breaking bread with sinners and tax collectors. i dont know. religious shit.

or tell her its porn itd be easier to explain than what it really is

Why are you so mean? Economists have been saying it was a jobless recovery from the economic recession for years now. This kind of stuff happens when they're hiring part time then they only hire people that already have a part time job. So it all goes to people that were already employed.

Why would I want to date someone that hates me because of my family? "Oh look at this freak he helps his family what a freak!"
Really?? Why should I be ashamed of helping my family. Go ahead explain that one to me.
She won't believe it's religious stuff she's partly so mad at me because I haven't been going to church either.

I'm not going to tell it's porn that will just make her mad. There use to be stuff besides porn on here sometimes.

greentext how it goes down

...

Here it is the better and simplest answer.


Get a job you lazy fuck.
Not a joke, really get a job,if you already have one work always look for a better one, work hard and you not only will be more comfortable but you will feel more accomplish and complete as a person.

So let me get this straight, it's not your fault that you're underemployed, it's not your fault you're living in your mother's basement, it's not your fault that you're about to get the boot, it's not your fault you don't have any friends, and it's not your fault that you're alone, right? Sounds like you should find out who's sabotaging your life and politely ask them to stop

youre fucked bro. if you double-down on the lie she'll bust you immediately. if you tel her the truth and that you're just fed up and lonely and confused then she'll probably send you to talk to a pastor, and youll have to pretend like its helping while you lose the internet for a bit.

your choice. lie and get kicked out. tell the truth and have a place to stay.

I already missed out on my 20's why should I give a shit about being happy anymore? People that hate me for being poor are not going to suddenly start respecting me. Why should I even like them after all that even if they did?
There isn't much of a point of aiming for more than comfy.

Okay so what I'm suppose to just walk in and demand they hire me or else? Maybe draw some fake money on a piece of paper to pay rent somewhere? Why do you think it's all my fault?

That's a good idea I'll try that.

>Why do you think it's all my fault?
Because you're 30 years old and it was time to stop blaming others for your failings 12 years ago

>Sup Forums
>this isn't funny
not sure if bait or hilariously naive

You know why you expect me to say something like it's my fault. I blame the baby boomers. In about 10-20 years or so when all the greatest generation die off and the boomers finally retire im going to be voting to dismantle social security and medicare as petty revenge since they fucked and got to enjoy all the economy buying up all the rentable land and jacking up prices instead of getting a real job or making new ones so the economic bubble fucked everybody.

Open vagene now

>the Baby Boomers conspired to make me a loser
Nice mental gymnastics. If it's not your fault then why are other men your age (and younger) doing so much better than you despite similar circumstance?

Jesus fucking Christ you fucking waste of oxygen. Go fucking make a fucking life for your pathetic piece of shit self.

just tell her wtf

>I already missed out on my 20's why should I give a shit about being happy anymore?
iktf OP
>26 about to be 27
>don't know how to drive even though I live in a rural area
>never had a real job even though I was educated, have a degree and several certs in networking
>no gf ever
>no friends irl in years or online ever
>got on autismbux after voluntarily being admitted for being suicidal because of it
>started taking anti depressants
>stopped taking them because missed appointments due to mom hanging out with sisters instead of taking me to them
>that was a year ago I stopped taking them
>all I feel is despair
>just want a job at this point, any job so I don't feel like killing myself
>don't care if I lose autismbux anymore, I dont' want to die like this
Currently learning to drive by having my mom take me driving once or twice a week
Its not working out too well

If OP doesn't respond then all our problems are solved.

Hey don't worry about it. I'm going to be inheriting this house. So the rent money I save can go into an individual retirement account.
I'd kind of recommend you do the same normie

Dude you're just a fucking asshole.

>I'm going to inherit this house
>that I'm about to get kicked out of
I'm pretty sure that house is going to go to the bank while you invest in cardboard real estate

> makes it harder to get friends
Because my first concern re: my friends is that they have smaller dicks than me.

>underrated post

Dude holy fucking burn. That was savage.

>they'll expect me to do them favors or something like stuffing them full of my dick.
uh no, retard, theyll be stuffing you