Christian shitpost thread

Christian shitpost thread
I need some awful memes please

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Science flies you to the moon religion flies you into buildings.jpg

my fav.

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Guys I need pro Christianity ones

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there is no one that autistic to make positive christian memes kek

I wish I were born 100 years later, when religion will be remembered only as this goofy, silly, collective hallucinations that people had due to some manipulative hustlers. It will be treated just like now we treat Santa Claus, baba yaga, unicorns and goblins.
It will be beautiful century

Actually science builds airplanes that fly into buildings.
Christians 1, Atheists 0

"The Satanic Bible"
wew, lad

That most likely wont happen... Religion is expanding.

Atheists were predicting a hundred years ago that religion would be gone by mid-century, and at mid-century that it would be gone by the year 2000. It's one of their dogmatic traditions.

isn't Keanu Reeves chinese or something?

why you posting christian memes with chinese people on them? the chinese don't believe in jesus

the bible does not say that is ok
its mentioned in the old jaws of judia that are overturned

thats like saying a history book on ww2 says genocide is ok

>Implying science is designing planes that fly into buildings on their own
Step it up fam your arguments are weak as shit

>inb4 "I was only pretending to be retarded"

Lucifer. One of the strongest entities in the cosmos. I see nothing wrong here.

My favorite.

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Shits been debunked forever ago

Lmao he was making a joke you downy

>its mentioned in the old jaws of judia that are overturned
But stuff like the 10 commandments are ok to cherry pick out of the old laws because they fit with our current culture?
Where does it say which laws were officially retconed in the Christian lore?

Well I guess I'm about to be lynched but r/dankchristianmemes is fucking hilarious whether you're Christian or atheist

ya'l niggas need Jesus.
Aint no other brother turning water into wine and healing crippled assed fools
jesus is science nigga, the hospitals n sheit woudnt be around unless jesus made us in the first place.

>Haha be intelligent before you battle me in a game of wits you checkers playing degenerate

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fuck wrong thumbnail
meant this one

Here's a wholesome christian meme just for you

Religious faggots are the worst, esp. this new wave of alt right meme faggots that pretend to be religious just to follow the whole le Sup Forums alt right theme

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Watching you all the time. Every second that goes by in every minute of your life, Every hour of every day he watches you. And me too. He watches all 7.65 Billion of us. And if one time you break his specific guidlines, HE WILL SEE.
and oh boy, HE WILL PUNISH.
When you die, you will be sent to a place of fire and burning, of eternal pain and screaming. You will be trapped there till the end of time as punishment.
But he loves you though. He loves you so much. Oh, and he needs money.
all powerful, all-knowing, our creator,
just cant handle the money (even though they pay no taxes)
I love my lord and saviour,i hope i make it through life unblemished so I can rejoin my Grammy and Jenny in the big cloud land in the sky :) I'm not scared of dying because i wont even be dead!! I will be alive up in heaven for all of time, with all the people i love and sunday roast for dinner everynight, and sunshine all day and it only rains at night while i'm all snug in bed and going to sleep with a big smile on my face :) I'l be looking down on you burning in the bubbling lava pits of hell so glad i didnt break the rules

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>atheists
>dogmatic traditions

Remember when Jesus destroyed the law in Matthew 5:17?

does this one counts?

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This thread is why Santa is kill

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>God isn't a fucking sociopathic asshole, guise
>He changed his mind about all that crazy, arbitrary bullshit
>I mean, like come on

Remember in Matthew 5:18 where Jeebus said that not a jot or tittle of the law would be changed?
If you are looking for a book filled with contradictions, absurdities, horrific atrocities and immoral teachings, look no further than the Bible.

name 1

Jesus was a Jew

Okay, an example of an immoral teaching would be the selling of your own daughter into slavery
Exodus 21:7-11
An example of an atrocity would be the killing of the first born male Egyptian children in the Passover myth. I could go on but I won’t be bothered to reveal the teachings of what I assume is your holy book?

real?

immoral why? if you cant give your daughter a good life, seling her as slavery would be great, slavery provided people food and a home

also God warned the pharaoh about letting his people go or face the consequenses, he play tough and he got what he deserved, that blood is in the pharaoh hands, not God's

so?

If you think slavery can be justified then you are morally corrupt. Also, you need to reread your fanciful Pharoah story. Your god hardens the heart of the Pharoah against releasing the Heebs. Read...your...fucking...book.

that's showing you that somethings you dont have second times, he had a chance, he wasted it

Can you write in English?

sometimes you dont have second chances hoho

so you better repent and accept Christ as Lord and Saviour or you are going to burn in hell all eternity

Lol, kthanx

so what do you think you can do other than accept Christ to save your soul?

You're a dumbass nigger who got abused by a priest by a child. Hence the Stockholm syndrome.

god clearly has some serious borderline personality disorder

>other fag acting tough
YOU ARE GOING TO GET REKT MATE BY GOD

That's the name of the book they sell, no more "wew" worthy than "Jurassic Park" or some other novel.

Repent or burn forever in a lake of fire.

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>believe in the bible
But nobody does this
Not even priests have read the whole book
Most theists don't ever finish reading the whole thing because that would be a lot of work
A true Christian would be going out and stoning non believers to death
A good Christian would kill his wife for not being a virgin at marriage
A real Christian does not use electronic devices because technology is the devils craft
A real Christian only listens to the harp
All other instruments are devils craft

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Sauce???

yawn

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The new testament brought nothing new except Jesus
Jesus teaches you must obey the old testament for they are his father (gods) teachings

Christianity is just Judaism with Jesus

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I show this to theists and they're like "god is more than those things" like wtf nigga
Do all theists smoke crack for breakfast?
Did they even grasp the meaning of what he is saying?
Morons

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Are you retarded?
Psalm 150:
Praise ye the lord. Praise God in his sanctuary: praise him in the firmament of his power.
Praise him for his micty acts: praise him according to his excellent greatness.
Praise him with the sound of the TRUMPET: praise him with the PSALTRERY and harp.
Praise him with the TIMBREL and dance: praise him with STRINGED INSTRUMENTS and ORGANS.
Praise him upon the loud CYMBALS: Praise him upon the high sounding CYMBALS...

One psalm, hell of a lot more than a harp mentioned. Also there's references to drums in other passages. Ex-religiofag here.

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If god is all powerful why are his messages written on paper in ancient language and not written into our dna?
Should we not be able to tell good from bad naturally?
Do we learn bad from good from books?

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it's on our DNA, even the Bible tell you that
you can ignore it tho

Cringe

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Post the Full image faggot
I know damn well pepe cummed and shit in those brownies

> not wanting a mate with the emissions of a coal train

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Tell me friend, how would you learn to abhor evil without first experiencing it?

Except atheists celebrate giftmas
Santa clause is owned by coca cola
Christmas is a pegan ritual
Jesus was not born on the 25th
Jews are in control of christmas
I just like all the bright lights and gift giving

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Ex-religiofag cont.

Many people have read the entire bible multiple times. The standard is once a year - the churches I've been to almost all had some form of a reading schedule for each week that would result in reading the entire thing over the course of a year.

Believing it is a different story, I can't speak for adults to say if any are true believers or not. I know as a kid I was.

An actual "Christian" would be by definition Christ-like. That doesn't involve going out and stoning people - Christ was characterized as a teacher of philosophy and religion. He didn't go around trying to slay Romans for being nonbelievers. Also, he was the kind of person who went around cursing fig trees for not bearing fruit during the season which they don't..

A Christian (or rather his community) would stone an adulterer, so at least you got one thing right.

Technology is neither godly or godless. There's no reference to it in the bible as it didn't exist yet. If you're going off Amish logic, sure, but that doesn't apply to Christianity.

Don't get me wrong here, I'm not here to advocate Christianity. But if you want to point out the problems, at least be remotely fuckin' accurate.

Example: a true christian wouldn't wear mixed cloth clothing.

fuck thats awesome

More like religion is a unintended byproduct of evolutionary biology.

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evolution is a meme grow up

Christianity is Judaism plus Jesus
Christians are jews

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