I think I'm having a heart-attack

I think I'm having a heart-attack.

What do Sup Forums?

kill yourself before your heart kills you.

punch your heart right in the chest

stick your tongue in an electrical socket.

Pirate a cardiovascular surgeon's manual and operate on your own heart. Remember, the consequence of failing this test... is your death. Good luck

Die. Flesh is weak, anyway.

Don't worry you'll be fine

helicopter your dick and shit really hard

Ask /adv/.

Post timestamped left ventricle or GTFO.

...

Accept your fate like a man

>Try to masturbate.
>Have heart-stopping orgasm.

>trips
roll

Calm down
Also checkd

Just walk it off, don't be a pussy

Nothing. Fuck you Vince.

send dick pics to everyone in your contact list. do it NOW!

Listen to me, this is no joke. Get yourself a knife and bleed yourself.

smoke a j

Call 911

smoke a j then call 911

this. it's like when your nintendo would fuck up and you'd need to give it a good whack and it goes back to normal. seriously it's an old trick doctors have scammed you out of since the rise of modern medicine.

smoke a j then call 911 then jerk off

I do this all the time. I wonder if we're going to live long?

smoke a j then call 911 then jerk off then die

dubs is right...but srsly...keep force coughing till hospital...
unless you're a hippie vegan fag who doesnt believe in vaccines and modern medicine...in that case, run death cam.

smoke a j then call 911 then jerk off then die sieg heil

Take an aspirin.

Actually you can improve you chances.
Force yourself to laugh really hard which causes your lungs and heart to get punched semi-rhythmically. Do this as you get to Emergency, Ambos, or a CPR provider in that order.

more cocaine sir.

This is the most broscience shit I've read this year

...

You can try this, or just, y'know, die.

That's for a stroke.

Just take it you faggot

kys ya pinhead