What is wrong with me

What is wrong with me

I'm agitated all the time
I get incredibly angry over the smallest things
I keep destroying my self-confidence
I am incredibly restless
I can never solely concentrate on one task
I hit myself hard constantly
I get depressed constantly
I keep thinking about suicide
I will feel like crying, then happy almost instantly
I feel it is not fair experiencing happiness like those around me
I feel trapped inside a torture chamber
I'm scared of losing control
I am extremely paranoid
I take things way too serious
Most of the time I feel emotionally confused
I always feel that my responses to everyday things in life are wrong
I do things excessively that are bad for me
I have a screaming replica of myself within my mind almost permanently

What is wrong with me?

Oh and I work myself up, get angry nervous and shaky over bullshit
I get panic attacks regularly

You need to get laid faggot

I get laid often

Pick one thing at a time and try to improve it in order to feel a sense of accomplishment. Don't try to tackle everything at once; you will fail and feel bad which fuels the depression even further.

But I can't help but feel that this may be a serious psychological (Brain malfunction) problem that could be fixed by thinking positively.

These problems I posted are only the beginning of what is wrong. I have so much more

For instance, the thought of killing people and not having control over my actions are one of my biggest fears. Especially when I've taken some form of medication, like a painkiller. My mind tells me that the painkiller is potent enough to send me into a murderous rage

I always choke on my food, struggling to swallow because my mind tricks my reflexes (Or whatever).

Go see a specialist if you think it's some kind of brain malfunction. I am not a big fan of serious medication in order to treat psychological problems though. They should be the last resort which is probably the case for you since you're already thinking about suicide. Go ahead and call up a specialist

Obviously not often enough

I AM seeing a psychiatrist. I am on medication. But these problems persist. As if the core of the problem is stronger than the antidote.

You should probably see your psychiatrist more often or see a different one if the treatments are not working. Also a positive attitude is crucial for medication to work.

sounds like you need to change your diet. I recommend going keto. it did amazing things to help me. i used to be a lot like you. now i am happy and calm and sure all the time.

You're in touch with reality, that's what wrong.

inb4 the keto-flue sends him on a killing-spree

meds.

OP do you wanna be friends?

I don't think so. If it was true, I would have adapted and developed a much stronger ability to survive instead of trying to destroy myself.

Sure why not

Nothing, you are fine. Get used to it, it just gets worst.

You are depressed.

Get out and start exercising, you’ll feel better in no time

It's been getting worse for 16 years. I'm nearly 30.

I found it funny when you observed your own confusion and listed your faults in such a lucid way.

fyi i'd probably hate you in real life, but that's not unique to you - people annoy me, they're like crinkling tin foil.

do you smoke cigarettes?

I smoke a pack of 20 a day man

some kind of cortisol receptor mutation

assuming you are male the genes to look at are called HTR2C and BDNF, the BDNF single polymorphism for men is Val/Val also known as rs6265. HTR2C has too many polymorphisms to really go into but they seem a lot less severe than the male-only rs6265 poly

...

See am I a wonder. You probably simply hate yourself smoking.

You need to embrace your faggotry.

I don't hate myself. I just wish I had the courage to quit so I can get more fit because I'll lift one object then it'll feel like I ran the marathon.

Okay I'm not THAT unfit but you get what I mean.

At least I'm not a fat fuck although I wish I was because those fat fucks seem to be happier than me.

Kill yourself and live stream it

I don't have the balls to an hero

Where are you from OP?

>I'm agitated all the time
>I get incredibly angry over the smallest things
>I keep destroying my self-confidence
>I am incredibly restless
>I can never solely concentrate on one task
depression

>I hit myself hard constantly
OCD or self-harm as an outlet

>I will feel like crying, then happy almost instantly
bipolar

>I feel it is not fair experiencing happiness like those around me
part of clinical depression

>I'm scared of losing control
>I am extremely paranoid
>I take things way too serious
>Most of the time I feel emotionally confused
>I always feel that my responses to everyday things in life are wrong
>I do things excessively that are bad for me
poor or low self-esteem and cofidence

>I have a screaming replica of myself within my mind almost permanently
>paranoid
not too severe, simply part of the whole deal. many people have that.

Go outside more, long walks with deep breaths, meet friends regularly, push yourself to really meet your friends, change your life in those areas that cause the most trouble for you. try to actively resolve strong problems you have with family and people near you. talk to your friends about it.

Good ol shitty South-Africa

I don't know what the rules on guns are in Africa, but just get a gun and an hero. It doesn't require balls, it's an instant lights out

>having these thoughts to even fear

You were me up till that point

Get into meditation user seriously.
Not the over the top shit. Just 5 minutes a day breathing exercises for a start.
Read up on Biofeedback.
It helped me with anxiety a lot.
Feel better

Thank you so much. But I do not have any deep family or social problems. Except for not being as social as I want to be.

I already take deep breaths from popping several Ritalin tabs causing major angst as a side effect.

Honestly I have a very similar problem. I went to therapy and I'm still in therapy and it helps me practice mindfulness. It gives me inside just like you possess because you understand your problem. I don't actually know how to get over any of this but I've been told that if you find a hobby or a passion or literally anything you care about and you actually finish it and do it to the fullest extent most of the shit goes away.

Or just say screw it and take whatever pills they gave you and being brain dead mindless idiot.
who cares we all die anyways

That's like the easy way out. Instead of trying to figure it out yourself you want someone to tell you that you're fucked up. Challenge yourself maybe you'll find the reward was worth the effort

should probably leave south africa if you're white, like lol no wonder you're nervous

I also have these thoughts plus most of the symptoms you mentioned. I feel like most people have these thoughts, but it's your actions that will always speak louder than your words. If you start doing sick s*** like that then you really have a problem

Get an MRI of your brain. No joke. It can't hurt, and you'll be able to rule out physical brain issues before traveling down the road of possible psychological fucked up ness.

go to a fckn psychotherapist. i have the same fucking problem and im goin to one. while reading, i feel like im already failing and when i actually fail i feel triggered and ready to hit myself or kill someone. our parents raised us so badly and we are fucked up we need therapy. if you dont believe so or you dont have the money FUCK YOU, im recovering

He's right. I was super depressed after my parents died. I just drank for a solid 2 years hard liquor. But a friend pulled me out of it and now I work out 6 times a week and Run 3 times a week at first it sucks ass but then all the sudden you see results and you feel a lot better

I'm too poor to fucking leave

Op you should screenshot this. And try to recite to yourself every morning

Are you me?28 years old, fucked up my marriage so she left me, broke, got backstabbed by my parents. No matter what I do or try I'm always self destructing.

It's not courage man its like a wrestling match with yourself it takes not strength but a certain technique. You can't beat yourself in an arm wrestling contest. Read the book "allen carrs easyway", and don't make excuses for yourself because when I smoked I would exercise every day. The first time I quit smoking, exercise would stop cravings.

Stopping is really just about saying no to the feeling of wanting a cigarette. Feeling comes as a wave and then goes. After two weeks the urge goes but the conditioning remains. Self-conditioning is the biggest harm of smoking imo. The book will help.

Kinda sounds like you need to take that stick out of your ass, you've got it shoved so far up there it's putting pressure on your brain.

I'm also 28.

Only difference is

You have reason to feel that way
I do not. I feel this way without anything triggering it.

Thanks for the recommendation but I seriously hate reading. I have never read a book. Honestly.

I can handle myself when I try quit smoking, but the big problem is the monster within me people don't like when I quit smoking. I seriously would kick the Incredible Hulk's ass the first day without one.

Sounds like bipolar narcissistic disorder.

It's amazing how someone can delve so inward on themselves and only be worried about their own minds and anxiety that they completely lose interest or hold on the outside world around them.

My dad is this way, he is always worried about himself and his problems.

He calls me all day sometimes just talking about stupid trivial shit and irrational fears like he's some sort of nutcase.

Meanwhile I have a baby to take care of, and family to tend to and other things I do from day to day.

These people literally cannot get over themselves.

And it so fucked up because there is so much more to life but they have blinded themselves to it.

They do the same things over and over again expecting different results. It's insanity.

Yet here you are

Oh btw I never speak about my 'condition' to anyone except my mom because I don't want people bothered with my bullshit, except for crying about it here because Sup Forumstards are all useless cunts anyway.

Seems like you're not in a position to stop smoking yet, but I think stopping would improve your condition ten-fold only because the addiction is frustrating you.

lol

Not at all man. This kind of habit is meant to die with, for most.

Sociopath is op maybe.

If you're white, then just literally step outside and walk around. Don't have the balls to an hero? No problem, some nignog will do you the favor

I've considered myself a Sociopath but I cannot say I fully understand the definition and I have not been diagnosed being one. So no I'm not. Yet...

I'm white. Enough said fml

Try nofap. Helps with the anxiety and stress. Also sobriety.

about the breathing. it is a very strong, temporary solution to fits of anxiety. even when you don't feel agitated you can still get a lot of weight off your mind through breathing. it is completely rid of esotericism, bc it causes a circle of calming yourself down through autosuggestion.

when you are agitated, for whatever reason, your breathe is shallow and short. you can easily counter this by being conscious about it. you may not notice, when you walk or move a lot, but your breathe may be shallow and short bc of anxiety.

BREATHING EXERCISE
---
simply close your eyes and take a deep breathe (cia nose or mouth) into your stomache area, not lifting the shoulders at all. imagine exploring every corner of your lungs with air, filling it thoroughly and getting the "bad air" (just a metaphor) out entirely.

take one deep, slow breathe for about 1 to 2 sec. hold for two seconds and exhale slowly, maybe lean forward a little bit as you do this. remember NOT to lift your shoulders, you want to breathe into the stomache area (you'll notice by pushing your stomache outwards a bit). then breathe out forming an "O" with your mouth.
----

repeat this for five to ten times, as much as you like. you will notice becoming calmer and your hearth rate getting more regular too.

this is adviseable for everyone as a simple and powerful remedy to acute stress

>narcissistic
not at all vaid here, sorry
for a true narcissist, he completely lacks self-confidence

You don't actually want help or you'd take the advice of those around you. Pull finger out backside and start doing the hard work to improve yourself.
Otherwise make explosives, blow self up, live stream

you are not eating healthy (too much sugars & salts)
you are not sleeping at consistent hours

all the rest is an inner deamon you must confront and slay

>cia
>cia
>cia
>cia
>cia

>What is wrong with me?
you're on Sup Forums and not exercising regularly and eating well.

>cia

wtf does that mean?

sounds like a job for drugs you should go get some drugs and do them until you feel better.
also be kind to yourself you cant trust anyone else to take care of you

You just feel like it's easier to be a fuck up than actually fix your shit. Being successful is hard work

I'm experiencing almost the exact same issues dude I've seen two different psychiatrist I've been on 4 different types of medication and none of it has helped. I feel so depressed but feel guilty about it because I have it pretty good. Me and my wife together make over 100k a year I have a new Ford escape a 2015 Camaro SS for summer and getting a 2016 explorer In a few weeks. Only owe 100k left on my house that would easily sell for around 420-440k if I listed it. Have an awesome easy union job with as much overtime as I want (I could be making 100k by myself) yet I'm stilll stressed still sad get angry over absolutely nothing. Wish there was an answer I could give you just try to hang in there dude