ITT: biggest mistake you made during sex

ITT: biggest mistake you made during sex
>eating out a landwhale

Yup..

Doing oral after a long day all sweaty and with some blood .

Fucking a girl with bumps all over her vagina that I lied to myself about was razorburn but wasn't. Even used a rubber and still got it.

Was shit faced drunk back in 2015, and some how managed to hook this 9/10 grill up. We're going at it, until i starting saying autistic shit (can't remember what, but she said it was cringy as fuck) she just took her stuff and left and laid there wondering what the fuck was going on with a half boner. Feels bad man.

Managed to put it in the wrong hole

We really need to know what you said.
At least paraphrase if you can't exactly remember.

Really curious too. Was it like something you heard on porn? Or even cringier than that?

Using comments I learned from doujins.

you win
I can't beat that

agreed, fucking disgusting, idk how you managed to do that op

the first time i ever tried to have sex i came as i was trying to put my dick inside her. unfortunatly i grew up in the american pie generation and it scarred me for another couple years before i even tried to give it another shot.

Got some liquid shit dick action once with a girl. Came and pulled out and straight chocolate milk. Bad times.

Still do anal though. Go to the junkyard and you might find a doberman

Back in 2006 I was fucking this hambeast from behind, and I distinctly remember deciding in that exact moment not to invest my money into Bitcoin.

Not getting a vasectomy done and trusting a woman to protect us both.
>mfw child support.

I fucking feel you

it was something along the lines of 'you have the eyes of a girl i could spend the rest of my life with'

and when I got her top off I started crying uncontrollably and when she asked me what's wrong I told her I've never been so in love and starting slapping my own face really hard trying to 'wake myself up' / must be a dream

She left quite soon after that

Piss enema. Told the story before. It was a one-time thing, never to be done again.

Cumming in about 3 minutes. :/

giving or receiving? my gf actually asked me to piss inside her vag. said she thought it would feel really good being filled up with such warm liquid. she liked it a lot.

I gave, she received.

Pic related?

fuck off back to tumblr

what was the problem exactly. i felt it was insanely intimate.

explosive diarrhea, complete loss of bedding and end of relationship.

other than that I thought it went well.

for gods sake please tell me she enemad herself with water several times before you tried this. if not this was even dumber than the guys who try and anal their gf without cleaning her out first and get upset about poopdick.

also. her idea or yours?

Kek

Pulling out the anal beads like I was trying to start a lawnmower

Pissed in my wife's vagoo. Gotta have a rubber shee, towels and waterproof mattress cover. Add a shit ton of massage oil and some weed for a genuinely fun evening. Afterwards just pitch it into the wash and take a shower and watch some Netflix.

uhh we just used the shower....

Eh. Poop dick sucks but just have a towel handy and hit the showers together afterwards. Taking a piss should stop UTIs. Don't go in the pig pen if you don't want to get muddy.

falling in love

>ITT: biggest mistake you made during sex

Letting any chick handle birth control!

You'll get older and more jaded. If my kids ever snoop in our toy drawer they probably gonna be scared for life. I'll try anything once, except shit play. Seriously a slippery vinyl sheet and some baby oil and a girl makes for a fantastic evening. Better if everyone is well hydrated and tipsy.

Did this on Molly. Best time ever.

Farted during sex with my high school crush years after graduation. She gave the best head and could make me cum in seconds. She was also military so she was probably getting nailed often. That was the last time we fucked.

my sides

I can't find any ecstasy anymore. I'm an old fag, can't get shit but weed. Do you get yours online or from a dealer?

I have friends who have kids in high school

w-why

trying to have sex in an abandoned warehouse during winter.

you don't love each other until you've pissed on and in her

ya you can't do that user. not as bad as when i came and shat at the same time. i've dubbed it "shum".

Believing her when she said she was legal age.

Bored, fun. Horny. Who knows. Came buckets and she came great to while repeating "you dirty bastard" to me. She had already let me drink my fill of her nectar. We already were both soaked in piss. Seemed like a good idea at the time. May or may not happen again.

OK. Mine was bad, yours is worse. Well done.

You're a fag [because you let that scare you]

...

like i said it was the american pie era. that movie wasn't a comedy if you were a teenager it was a horror movie.

well i ended up being with her for a long time. if you can get through that, you can get through anything.

nope. we had gone out to dinner and drinks and then back to my place.
it was her idea. She was way more kinky than me and she'd the one who suggested it.

underrated

sounds like you got in way over your head user

Thinking condoms protect from herpes...

>you failed life

kek.
not way over my head, just on the sheets, rug, bathroom

I had never heard of a piss enema before but figured it out pretty quick. We were already fucking so just went with it when she asked for it.

Performing oral on a hairy pussy. Ended up pulling pubes out of my teeth off and on for a couple of days. Swore off eating hairy chicks afterwards.

more for the rest of us. thanks.

Fisting an ass so much that i got some shit on my hand, since the person really didnt have any pain with how deep it was.

GG op

Im in stitches omg

>fucked girlfriend on her period
>stand up, horrified at amount of blood on dick
>her little sister opens the door

and a serial killer is born.

>person
faggot

Yeah, unfortunately, I had to take care of both her my gf. I was really left no choice.

I fucked a chick with expired condoms, nothing bad happened but it was still pretty dumb

shitsmell and fish

I spent the better half of my life doing so much hot shit with this emo girl that I can't function appropriately with anyone that isn't like ahegao style lewd. She draws porn for a living and it's not even that she's hot anymore it's that lewd attitude of hers without shame or embarrassment. I'm so damaged from dedicating 11 years of my life to her and doing SO MUCH SHIT that I'm not proud of that I've become a complete deviant. Loli anal incest hit my search bar for the first time along side fairy hyper dick porn. It's my biggest mistake getting with a hardcore alternative chick during my formative years. I might not be so weird and particular about sex. All I want is another emo/alternative girl with a lewd mind to be all over me again.
Putting my dick in her at 15 in her room in her mom's basement on that cheap mattress with sheets strewn about and anime posters all over the walls the crowning gem a wolfs rain scroll style poster. We fucked to Helena by MCR it was the first song in her playlist. One time when she was blowing me I was trying to cum and she spit my dick out halfway through my load. In a desperate attempt to get it back in her mouth I accidentally put the tip in her nose and blew the rest of my load. The next day she made me cum in my own face after riding me. I got her back by putting it in her ass with no lube.
Rico I fucked your bitch and I don't regret it. Shit was still cash and I got her into a threeway with my other girl. Bet you're still mad but whatever I will always love her. You'll be out of the way soon enough. You'll lose your mind over what I did to her that she let me do.
I need to stop smoking weed then posting to Sup Forums.

That movies only funny to teenagers, it's fucking retarded if you're an adult.

You were just weird.

kys

hot

You don't have to bite them, just lick. Unless you have cat tongue that acts like a fur brush.

d-did you have a cat lick your weiner, user?

Already dead my man.
You have no idea. Every moment with her was an opportunity to know what it was like to date a Hentai girl. Her drawing hentai made her all the more hot. Especially after she got her bf. She became super repressed so when I came back into the picture I was in her hentai as well.

Not pulling out
>of my sister

>person
Hahahaha

at least I didn't save a thumbnail

Trusting a bitch who claimed she was on birth control.
>the kid turned out to be someone elses anyway but it was a scary 6 months of my life.

I know, I realized just now.
Fuuuuuuuuuuck.

tell her i love her

lol I've recovered from all kinds of autistic shit I've said to a chick in one night, you just gotta find the right girl who can get weird with it, faggot

oh nvm that aint some autistic shit that just some clingy shit that would straight up turn off anyone

Fat women should be stored in concentration camps, at lest until they reach an acceptable weight. The modern man shouldn't be subjected to such filth.

I feel like this might actually not be bait...