ITT: Things you think only you do

ITT: Things you think only you do.

Wipe my ass after I get out of the shower to not only make sure it's clean but to also dry between my cheeks

I leave quarters in gumball/toy machines.

Kill rabbits with a tazer

buy homeless panhadlers candy bars instead of giving them money.

Masturbate in Walmart parking lots while watching MILFs put their purchases away in their cars

Put paper in the toilet so it wont splash

I fart in crowded rooms on purpose

Pick dandruff off my head excessively and make a little pile. Same with picking skin on my feet

school shootimg when?

kek

dude why

>make sure it's clean
Man I wash my asshole twice in the shower and rinse well.
I don't want my chick smelling shit while she sucks my cock.
I don't know if she cares but I'm not into scat.
I don't mind her being a little ripe when I go down on her though...
Always paranoid about that.
Also.
I compulsory touch my lips after I wash my hands to wet and dry them. Kind of like Robert's chin thing on "Everybody Loves Raymond". Idk why I do it and no one notices unless I bring it up.

Do you eat the dandruff after?

gonna try this

That's what the towel is for.

Hell no, i'm not a freak. But if someone comes in the room i dust it into my hand, rub it around a bit to feel it real nice, and toss it into the trash.

I have a little pile going now. It is small since I had a good one going earlier today.

Genius

This except the Robert thing. I can just imagine you gently patting your mouth.. Fuckin weird

So if you didn't wash good enough you get shit on your towel? Nah thanks
Jesus god

Yeah I agree a bit weird.
It's just a quick wipe to wet then towel dry.
I think it might be because of this kid I knew as a youth who when he ate, half of his meal ended up on his face and he just acted like it was normal. He wasn't mentally ill or anything and no one ever said anything about it but me and he acted like I was weird for bringing it up.

I put ranch sauce on pizza, cornbread and baked potatos. Wasn't Even aware that most people dont put sauce on pizza till i was 14.
Used to also pick at my feet when i was a kid. The pile thing is werid though

Ranch on 'za is imperative or I won't eat it. Cornbread and baked potatoes tho... Dafuq? Do you put ketchup on your spaghetti too, you sick freak?

pics or it didnt happen

Pic related. Sometimes on old gold sites on my scalp that get really hard/deep I use tweezers to help get under and pull up the dandruff. sorry for pic quality.

>'za
You need to be 18 to post here.

you aren't the only one, discovered this a couple years ago.
it's a game changer.

I need to fully undress when I shit. I don't know, I don't feel comfortable shitting even if I have only 1 piece of cothing on me

Your a genius!

Me too

socks too?

Everytime I go to my best friends apartment, I have to sniff his used underwear.
Sometimes I might even find some with dried cum.

specially socks

Cornbread oddly tastes pretty good with a little ranch. Dont remember when i started doing that, but ive done it since i was little. Baked potatos taste bland unless i add ranch to it, butter is just not salty enough to cut it. I also used to put it on french bread and french fries back when I was a kid.

I randomly put my hand under my underwear on my dick while on bed, not just for marstubation, my hand instinctively goes for my dick

Samesies. Even my underwear. I feel like it's constricting my legs and thus constricting my sphincter muscles making them work twice as hard

Socks too. However need to have at least some carpet there because I cant shit if my feet are on cold bathroom floor either

>I don't mind her being a little ripe when >I go down on her though...

why would you still have shit on your arse after you left the toilet, let alone after a shower?

>sorry for pic quality
nah dude I don't need to see that with any more detail trust me

While the parking lot security cams record the whole show lol.

I do the same thing user

I like to wear women's panties and walk around the street at night

Same

It really is.

When I get out of the shower, I smell the inside of my underwear to see how bad my cock smelled all day since my nose is now used to the soap/shampoo

I smell everything I touch.

Same here dude. I'm a socks on guy though because of tile floor

Replay events in my head and how I'd say them differently but I'd actually act it out with my head and like not make sound but say the words and give a facial expression. I only seem to do this unconsciously in the bathroom or when I'm mindless walking around my house.

I'll touch my wrists and the area around my nipples every so often. I feel that they're vulnerable and I get super uncomfortable if my arms are full and I can't. Also I hate having my belly button exposed and not on something in bed

I like to wear women's skin tuck my dick between my legs and dance naked

Bizzar

Dick hand is /comfy/

I do this too but I'm autistic and have severe anxiety disorder so I think it's more normal with those

keep a written list of the songs that I sing to myself during the day

I poke my finger through the toilet paper on purpose so I can roll shit between my finger and thumb then flick it at someone

I doubt it's autism, probably mild OCD.

RIP in liquor ;_;

put the lotion on your skin

me three

wow, is that a Silence of the Lambs reference?

this is

I love that smell, I could huff it for hours
Only my own though, so no homo

I do this all the time.

...

Your hands must smell like shit all the time.

I like to wipe juuust not quite good enough so a little bit of shit stays in my ass. That way I can get that itchy rash so I can rub my ass into my chair and get that satisfying scratch. Just sucks tho cuz by the end of the day my underwear is full of skidmarks and I only have like 3 pairs of undies

What the fuck I know how that be on a deep level only I don't fucks wit dandruff/feet fungi, my pile is hardened/dead cuticles and callused skin and fingernail shrapnel

How shitty could you be at wiping and washing your own ass? agrees.

I personally put my finger right in the asshole when I take a shower.


I drink my cum sometimes and always regret it because it taste fucking horrible (anyone know how to make it taste palatable?).
I also sometimes mix it with scrambled eggs or fried rice. Basically any dish with cooked eggs, you can mix fresh semen in and it actually tastes just like eggs.

that's the 2nd best part

Dude fucking same. Why

lolwut

were you molested as a kid?

Try drinking pineapple juice.

Pheromones, mane

Thanks man. I don't feel nearly as fucked up now.

dude.
dude no.

Yup, I so do this. I also put toilet paper in the front of the seat where my dick is, so it doesn't touch the toilet at all.

Shut up fag. Like there aren't weirder posts in this thread

got any vids?

Same, except the last part

Always wash my butt after I shit. Can’t remember when was the last time I used toilet paper. Can’t shit in public places because of this. If I’m staying in a place that doesn’t have that little hose I need to shower.

Wait.. if I like my own pheromones does that make me gay

>that little hose
assuming not american?

yes
also refer to , you sure it's just yours you like?

I do this op. I have IBD though so my ass is constantly leaking shit, I'm always wiping.

assuming your dick

Assuming your mom is a whore

What do you mean?

this is me too

>Puts ranch on everything
I bet you think obesity is genetic

Probably not
I think it's because it's familiar and your body can recognize it's smell

*cook the semen in the eggs, that is. I wouldn't garnish with semen, that's crazy.

Hand usually goes there but not under the underwear.

The ranch thing isn't that weird. Personally, I don't do it much but I know lots of people that do.

I do this too. Even socks.

dude.
dude yes.

I put all my blood, spit, jizz, snot on my dirty clothes out of laziness to use a tissue/paper towel

fucking kek, I just don't know what hose he is talking about so I attributed it to america being behind on toilet technology like usual

>Using ranch instead of blue cheese

kys pleb

Some countries in middle east or india use water only, no toilet paper.

Are you the people that leave shitty water bottle in the public bathrooms at my university? That shit is disgusting. I don't see how a little spray of water does a better job than the paper. Honestly, the paper does a better job. Both would be OK too, but not without paper.

you mean fumunda cheese... Not blue

Whew! Close one

Wait... What? They do bring water bottles in there to wipe their ass better?

Why don't you faggots use flushable baby wipes?

As if tp is as option. Muhammad used his right hand then smeared it on the goats ass to lube it for fucking.