I'm suicidal alcoholic diabetic with great friends and a perfect gf...

i'm suicidal alcoholic diabetic with great friends and a perfect gf....by all means my life should be great but I can't stop drinking and it's landed me in the hospital 3 times this week. I just got out today and here I am drinking again. I don't know what's wrong with me... why am I so depressed?

Ur parents alcoholics?

Why do you drink?

Been in a similar situation, with the same poison as you; and I don't know. I've chosen my addiction above furthering my career, gf, family and friends. Just felt like however good everything was, there was something missing. Alochol filled that void I guess. An alone loser now, so much good it got me, but yeah. Some people are just fucked I guess.

have you tried antidepressants

Get tension tamer tea and some mushrooms

Childhood trauma. Better put the booze down and get used to those shitty feelings. The sooner you get used to them, the less harsh they appear. I am a recovering addict.

Oh and speak to a shrink. Sounded gay to me too but that shit got my life back.

cheers bud. i have a family and they are great and all i want is to be left alone to drink cant figure out why. wasting so much money i cant even address it. dont want it to be like this but im fucked cant stop without fucking withdrawls and i cant detox cause i have to work for my family. alcoholic depression isnt very good man
pic related what im drinking now

It is hard to face your demons but if you WANT to change, this is the only way..

OP here. thanks for everyone's kind words.... half my family is irish so....they're kinda alchies....immediate is not though....mom is only supportive family member....i've tried every antidepressant there is, the one that seemed to be OK was zoloft...all else sucked....I drink because i like drinking....at it's root....sure there is trauma and PTSD and horrible things that have happened but i drink now because I feel like if i dont then i will kill mtyself

OP here again.... I've gone periods of not drinking and I was happy....went to AA, had great group....was involved....now I don't care...I want to care but i cant....its so scary

Why are you drinking expensive shit if you're bitching about wasting money faggot

Diabetic user here, op for fuck sake stop yourself and get help. Depression and diabetes is nothing to fuck around with, every other illness and ailment you have is already amplified, your mental health is the same. Get the fuck off Sup Forums and get help you dumb bigger. Ps post back when aren't fucking yourself up. I'm fucking up too and I need to see a success story. I know it's selfish but fucking do it.

You like drinking because it buries all your shit in your back seat. When you crash, and you will eventually crash, all that shit behind you will lunge forward. It ends in three ways. Jails, institutions or death. I liked drugs and booze too. Eventually the fun died and it became a cruch. You need to be honest to yourself (fuckin hard to do) and see past your denial bud.

i'm sorry it happened like this...

Go back to AA. Get a sponsor. Do service. Help someone else.

because cheap shit wont get me drunk retard and i cant drink hard alcohol because i black out in like 2 hours and end up in the drunk tank or fucked up broken shit. high alcohol craft beer is the best drink. like i said wasting money but cant stop

i saw one today and she said i needed a high level of care because of how fucked i was...thanks for sharing that hope with me though, user.

How much do you drink?

not a fan of your delivery, but you're right

You have to give it a bigger go man. You have to WANT it. Not sorta want it. You are worth it.

i died (brought back to life) been to jail and have been to many rehabs....it's been on and off for 4 years....i don't know why i can't just get honest and work the fuckin steps dude....im scared im incapable

>
if feels impossible with this depression...i WANT TO I WANT DO SO BAD...but i literally feel like i can't move my legs in the morning I HATE it

i drink half a gallon of gin plus intermittent 40oz hurricanes daily

thank you...i think im going to go to detox and try...

I swear to you I was in the same boat man. You need to ride the steps like a ritual. I hated the first 8 months sober. Please just speak to people after the meetings, create your own fellowship and make yourself accountable to the people working the program by your side. It is never too late to start brother.

Because there's such a huge leap from a 6% 40 to an 8% craft beer.
You're just a faggot lol. Learn to handle your alcohol then if you drink so much. You're one of those guys who thinks they can drink a lot and show off but you'd black out after a 15 rack of keystone light lol

I hear that a lot, but I do hope you get better. Seriously I don't hear a lot about other type 1s with depression even though it's a bit more common than I thought. I know it's not easy at all right now, but if you keep struggling and crawling eventually you'll get numb and start taking pleasures in the little things again. It takes a fuck ton of struggle though, but you can make it. Force yourself out and get your life back not for your family but yourself. Sorry I'm rambling I'm high as balls at the moment but take care and fuckikng test your blood sugar.

I wish you find peace

haha thanks fellow diabetic, your words mean a lot.... i think i'm going to check myself into a detox and then go to treatment after...cuz it wasn't just booze...crack, purp...xanax.... (mainly crack besides the booze)...so I know how much troulb'e I'm in as a diabetic....i've been DKA 14 times....I should not be alive....but here we are....how's that for an uplifting story?

i know logically you are right...and thank you...but depression has clouded my judgment...and i know that is temporary unlike addiction....but it doesn't make it any less real....i'm just scared dude...been crying all day and have a whole network of NA folk i'm scared to talk to...that's why im here haha

What worked for me was doing the things I did not want to do. I was brought into treatment with a black and blue ring around my neck. I am not going to sugar coat it because I know it fucking sucks. You have to dive into the deep end here. It is all or nothing. How much worse can you afford for it to get?

You aren't spiritually fulfilled. Your flesh is fed and nourished by material success and worldly things, but your spirit is starving and thirsty. I'd recommend you find God. Life really does look different when you open your eyes to a different side of things.

Well, it's a start. And despite the brushes with death at least now you can end your story the way you want to. The last thing I would want is for this disease to be the thing to kill me. Good luck user, and if you do end up going to detox then hell it's uplifting enough for me.