I'm pretty sure I am going insane

I'm pretty sure I am going insane.

I will hear things that I KNOW aren't real. I will hear someone knocking at my door at all hours of the night, it is always when I'm trying to sleep. This is the fucking worst, not because I think someone is knocking at my door at 4am, but I just can't sleep when it happens.

I keep hearing indistinct whispers in the air vents. They don't say anything in particular. It is like my mind will take the white noise generated by the air movement and interpret it however my subconscious pleases. This isn't surprising to me, I am a very auditory person. In the past I've been able to induce auditory hallucinations by listening to whatever environmental noises and let my mind run wild. I understand that in itself isn't significant, but now when I hear things it is completely out of my control. I am very aware that they're not real, they sound as if they're an echo, far away. But I can't stop it.

Sometimes I get terrible images in my mind. This wouldn't be out of the ordinary for anyone, but they are foreign and crazy and it takes serious effort to get them out. Unlike any other thought I've ever had, or any image I've ever seen. This is different. I want to call it "evil," but I know it is just what my subconscious mind's vision of what evil is.

I am not paranoid at all. I don't think anyone or anything other than my own mind is the cause of this. It is all my mind.

Its like your soul, what you perceive as "you," suddenly is irrelevant in your experiences. The "me" inside my mind is no longer the driver. Even though I am aware now, and in the moment that it isn't real, I have no control. I am terrified of the day that I will no longer be able to perceive the difference between reality and my own mind short circuiting.

I am 27 now, and this has just started up. I'm afraid I will never be able to make it stop progressing.

Other urls found in this thread:

pimediaonline.co.uk/science-tech/lappel-du-vide-the-call-of-the-void/
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

If you're strong enough to let your mind run wild, you're strong enough to be in control of it.

Reoccuring images/thoughts you can't get out of your head is an OCD symptom. (Not to be confused with OCPD) (I am not a doctor)(Vsauce meme for credibility)

You are suffering from paranoid schizophrenia. If you do not see a psychiatrist and get help, your life will unravel and you will go much crazier.

My sister suffers this. If it's crippling you, you need help now. there is no cure, and no amount of self control can save you.

>paranoid

I said in the OP that I am not paranoid at all. There are no other parties involved.

>1028▶
>I'm pretty sure I am going insane.
them ghosts be coming to KILL you

best run while u can xd

Do you smoke weed or take any drugs?

I drink alcohol and occasionally take amphetamines(adderall), but there seems to be no correlation.

Drop the liquor, stop the addys, start detoxifying your body(ginger shots, apple cider vinegar) shit helps. drink plenty of water, and smoke a fat blunt right before you go to sleep.

How much sleep do you get?

Seek medical help fast. Its good that you understand that these are hallucinatuons not real. But, the more you linger and wait, the more difficult it gets to treat!! With these symptoms you can get into acute psychiatry section and dont have to wait. If you want call 911/112 or go to your town psychiatric centre. Sorry for my bad english. But I do have bachelors degree in psychology.

See a psychiatrist.....this sounds like the onset of schizophrenia. The adderall is not helping. You're going to get worse without professional help and medication.

So why not see a psychiatrist just in case? It's not like they'll lock you up in a sanitarium nowadays...

Then why did you post here?

It could get a lot worse. Seek help while you can, friend. Better safe than sorry.

>wasting a whole blunt just to fall asleep

with weed, less is more

Are you sure? I feel like if I was completely honest with a psychiatrist they would involuntarily commit me.

Try a fresh refreshing glass of water and you will be fine.

> Sometimes I get terrible images in my mind. This wouldn't be out of the ordinary for anyone, but they are foreign and crazy and it takes serious effort to get them out. Unlike any other thought I've ever had, or any image I've ever seen. This is different. I want to call it "evil," but I know it is just what my subconscious mind's vision of what evil is.

I have the same thing. I describe it as the "what would happen if we go do this, or what do you think of this idea here" part of the brain thinking of something it decides as relevant to my situation, except that at the same time I get the idea, my perception of the idea gets the "horrifying" slider maxed out to 1000.

In other words, the idea might objectively be like "...well that would be stupid/embarassing/unrealistic/unedifying", but at the time, my rationality goes out the window, and it takes conscious effort for me not to flinch/wince when these thoughts pop into my head. I describe them as "day-mares", after realizing that I'm feeling tiny fractions of the mindset you get when your brain decides some world-ending event is happening in a nightmare. The only difference is that a nightmare you feel stuck in, whereas this lasts a fraction of a second - just long enough for it to feel like something ripped my back open, but not long enough for me to try and explore the mindset my brain enters for a fraction of a second.

Posting now to keep thread open, hopefully cont

People are only committed if they pose a danger to themselves or others without treatment. Just fucking go and get the help you need already, these morons telling you to drink more water don't have a clue

Carbon monoxide leak?

dude one time i heard a licker from resident evil hissing in my floor vent in my bedroom, be glad ur not a delusional weeb faggot like me

IMO I think what's happening is that this is some kind of nerve-related event - some part of my brain is lighting up for a fraction of a second, so I'm getting a bunch of thoughts that are along that nerve path, but then the imbalance that triggered the glitch vanishes and the thought is gone with no trace, so there's nothing left for me to explore/think about.

I've had this my whole life, and, well, I ain't dead yet, and I feel fine. That said I _am_ on a bunch of alternative therapies for a ton of things, and somewhere in the umpteen things I'm on (I must admit I can't keep track of everything...) certain things manage my anxiety and minimize this to 1% of what it would otherwise be - I go from having this 10 times a day to maybe once or twice a week.

So there are solutions out there, but it sadly takes a fair amount of time to find things that are truly effective.

Go talk to a real doctor.

Weed gives me baad anxiety. I've tried to learn to like it, but every time I do it I just want to curl up into a ball and stop existing. I liked it when I was younger and happy, but now it is hell. Maybe someday.

I don't suppose you mean "what if I were to jerk the wheel while I'm driving,"

bump

Yes, I do. Exactly that sort of thing.

"That person would be so heartbroken if I threw that over that ledge."

"I wonder what the bus driver would do I if I yelled LOOK OUT physically as loud as I can? lmao"

"I wonder what going under a train feels like."

That sort of thing.

(cont ^)
It's nigh impossible for me to think of these sorts of things because this doesn't happen constantly like it used to. The bus one's been happening a lot of late but apart from that, not particularly much.

And of course I'm not going to take mental notes on this sort of thing... lol

I think that's normal tbh fam

Recommending weed.. for paranoid schizophrenia.. and what is clearly either somebody with anxiety issues or just anxiety about what's happening to him.
Stfu

Interesting.

Nearly forgot to mention, I actually discovered the term ‘L’appel du vide’ from, of all places, imgur, and which gives a name to either all or part of this phenomenon.

Random reference: pimediaonline.co.uk/science-tech/lappel-du-vide-the-call-of-the-void/

Yeah the amphetamines will need to gtfo asap

Jokes on you, it's all real. Congratulations, you've tapped into the other realm. Nearly impossible to shut the door once it's open. Head to your nearest house of worship and pray for protection.

Hey user :) how do you know which of these replies are real :^)

Hi, looks like a freak cosmic ray accident got you in the wrong board (Sup Forums instead of /x/). Just letting you know.

You're probably right, but just to put it in perspective I only do them every few months. As in 4-8 and sometimes years in between. I have gone hard tho.

Fuck off nigger

You will serve me in the Netherrealm

Amphetamine psychosis is a real thing. But schizophrenia is mostly genetic and if you're predisposed to it and you're beginning to experience positive symptoms of it, then your best bet is to get ahead of it by going to a consult with a psychiatrist. Not a psychologist, but a psychiatrist.

OP, I HOPE I CAN GET YOUR ATTENTION

>Behavioral health/addiction specialist fag here.
You definitely seem to be having symptoms of schizophrenia like everyone else is saying. It’s onset is almost always at about your age. Most definitely it is exacerbated by using alcohol and/or amphetimimes, this is fact. You’re full of shit saying there’s no correlation. Those homeless people you see, covered in filth and talking to themselves, that’s from schizophrenia, usually exacerbated by substance abuse, you don’t get like that just from drugs. If you don’t get help from a psychiatrist and get on meds NOW, you WILL end up like one of those people. You may not be paranoid, but eventually, you will be so deluded that will be. You will become unwilling to trust anyone who will offer you help, and become completely psychotic.

And, if in any way you are now telling yourself you really don’t need to see a doctor, that’s the paranoia, you’re fucked already if you don’t do something.

I’ve been lurking but this caught my eye. This is a very interesting concept, I am going to title my final project this, it’s very fitting for what I’m working on. I think I would also like to get into studying this on a real academic level. Seriously, thank you for this, if I ever publish any works on it I’ll give you a shoutout.

indica not sativa
Indica makes you pass out

take abilify, its all gonna be ok