So I'm about to do 115 days in jail in Georgia... Any advice? As far as cut my nails now, cut my hair, etc. I'm not worried about "bubba" or anything like that because this is jail, not prison.
I think I'll just stay quiet and watch the pod dynamic for a bit. The most I've done prior to this was 4 months in juvenile lock up, and 20 days in Maryland jail. But that was so long ago I don't remember much of how I prepared.
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and of course the days I've spent in and out of jail for the 2nd DUI outside of 5 years, the probation violation...
If I can't fuckin drive and live in a new state, how am I supposed to go 20 miles to a probation meeting?
>inbred state
Neck yourself
make sure to bring some condoms coz you are gona get hella butt-fucked
Any stories from when you were locked up?
Smear shit all over your body and throw your mattress over your cell window
ye if people start to give you shit or look at you like youre weak make sure you act like a crazy fucking psycho so they know theyll get fucked up too if they touch you.
never been to jail or prison dont plan to
but thats what i always do in fights
im fine op listen to what i say
touch your boner
Criminal faggot, hopefully your celly beats your ass
How about you stop being a fucking faggot and not break the law anymore? You talk as if going to jail is a point of pride.
keep your mouth shut, try not to start shit, but don't let anyone walk all over you. Don't be overtly friendly to CO's, people will think you're a snitch. Get some money in your commissary, you'll need it for sandals, soap, food that isn't bullshit, basically anything that you'd want/need If you're from Georgia you're gonna be surrounded by nignogs, so I hope you know how to deal with them, or else you're fucked.
what are u going in for? details
Yeah, spent 3 days in the drunk tank in DC because they lost my paperwork - a lot more homeless people than blacks - one guy was going through withdrawal so I gave him most of my food and juice. Great guy, but just was in the wrong place at the wrong time
Did 30 months in feds when I was 19. State holding jails are easy- but not fantastic, either. keep in mind your being mixed in with minimum to max security inmates. Just chill, try to be friends with your celly (will make time so much easier). Work out if there's a weightpile. Mind your own business but don't become a weird outcast/avoid questions/etc or you could be falsely labeled as a chomo
the best are from juvenile lockup
>first time at 15
>housed with kids from 11-17
>11
>a fucking 11 year old who got charged with grand theft
>he was sent to his room for 24 hours which was the usual time out
>everyone starts to smell shit
>he's been shitting in his hands and shoving it under his door onto the carpet
>None of the juvenile officers want to go in
>they call the janitors
>the janitorial staff were all old koreans
>kid attacks one of the old koreans with his shit
>finally the pod leader has to act
>jumps in there and tackles him
>old black pod leader is covered in shit
>nobody can stop laughing
>we all get 48 hours in our cells
OP get your life together my dude
I do, even though I am a white male with a head shaved to the skin. I am a very calm person who will probably just read books in his cell
working on it brother, since I can't drive they wanted me to see my probation officer every week
he lives 20 miles away. Can't find anyone to drive me since I'm new to the area and on my own
been to prison for a felony, can confirm
nobody will mess with you if they think you're a violent psycho
they spook easily if you're not "hard" but you're still violent
my advice is to just keep to yourself though
nobody bothers you if you mind your own business
it also helps to make small talk and to be the nicest guy in the prison and to make friends, but try not to overdo it
you're there to serve your time and get out, not to make friends
115 days will be easy
just focus on staying in shape, set a workout routine for yourself with pushups and situps and other things you can do without equipment
your muscles will be your best friend
While I applaud your intellectual pursuits, don't sit in your cell all day. People will think you're a pussy or worse. Exercise. You don't really have to socialize but don't draw attention to yourself by not doing anything.
boring
Come back with some more interesting tales
Pick a fight with another white on day one. Gotta establish pecking order
this guy knows.
put a bunch of xanax in your buttwhole
sleep for 3 month
Man the shit thing about this state...
In Maryland - the habitual rate ends after 5 years. My first dui was in 2007 - last one was in 2016... They like to assume I've just been driving drunk this entire time.
What kind of shit is that? What happened to reform and innocence? My bond was 25k and I sat there while a burglar had one of 8k. Got back to the pod and they asked what the hell I did - accident? property damage? Nope. Just a DUI
youtube.com
This guy does videos about being in prison
Are you black?
Stop being a drunk dumbfuck
Make as many friends as possible. Dont start troubble. Work out is gonna be your favorite passtime watch your back and reputition like it was a child.
Best of luck.
>I'm not worried about "bubba" or anything like that because this is jail, not prison.
Uh ... jail is notorious for being worse than prison. It's far too open, less controlled. Good luck, don't fight, don't get comfortable.
try not driving while under the influence you jackass. you don't own the roads, there's innocent people out there that you endangered because you're too fucking ignorant to just get a ride from somewhere else. It's not "just a DUI", it's a very strong possibility that you could've fucking killed someone.
lel holy shit
and too be honest, it's the little crazy guy that wants to mess with people... What are the rules if you get into a physical altercation.
I can hold my own, especially with someone who just wants to act like they can fight...
Just not be the aggressor? Ensure you are defending yourself?
Your black cock fantasy is about to come true. Whether you'll enjoy it is another matter.
no harm no foul
You sound alike a prize faggot; sort your shit out loser.
In the jails here you are kept in a pod with 16 people
I hope someone you give a shit about dies because someone was fucked up and chose to drive. You'll have a different opinion then, you fucking retard.
Prisoner felony guy here again,
It's highly unlikely anyone will look for a fight with you because most of the time, they share a similar mindset as you- They want to mind their own business and avoid making enemies
Avoid confrontation, but do not let ANYONE push you around for any reason- If someone does, make your stand
Violence is not out of the question- You can throw the first punch if they cross you
Practice making liver shots
Your first impulse will be to swing for the head and face, but resist the urge- The head is heavily armored, and flush with pain-blocking endorphins during a fight
The liver is an exposed organ and is very vulnerable to pain bc of all the nerves that run through it- It's a spot where you can land a crippling blow that ends the fight and drops the person to their knees
I learned this when I was in there, and then confirmed it with medical texts when I got out
I live in GA, Atlanta specifically. Less incest more niggers.
well I hope someone you give a shit about goes to jail for a victimless crime
have plenty who have had them die, that's why I try to escape reality.
thanks though
>it's a very strong possibility that you could've fucking killed someone.
No, it's not. It's a very low probablility. Yes, drunk driving is bad, but don't exaggerate.
...
Do butthole stretches
Also, DONT EVER LIE ABOUT WHY YOU'RE IN THERE
Be honest and mind your own business
spit on it first
yeah I won't have commissary, visitors, or phone calls.
even when it does happen, I prefer not to have phone calls because I'd rather just be alone the entire time. I feel that even a phone call could bring questions as to, who was that?
I would like the be the /r9k/ type guy and just stick to myself
Not OP here, but I have a story from being in juvie when I was 14. I was convicted of trespassing and running from the cops.
So this white kid and black kid got into a loud argument and everyone could hear what was going on. It was over some checkers game or dumb shit like that. When the white kid walked past my cell, I yelled, "Muslim nigger monkey!" The black kid freaked the fuck out and beat the shit out of the white kid.
post before and after pics of your anus
Make sure you have somebody on the outside putting money into your canteen and have them order you snacks online. The guy with hot sauce is everbody's buddy.
I've been to jail for a victimless crime. I've gotten felonies for drug possession, but they slammed me with trafficking for having a scale with it. You're a fucking idiot if you justify your ignorant, retarded actions by saying driving under the influence is "victimless". Get a grip, kid.
Try getting some help, user. I was addicted to heroin for about 5 years. I'm a worthless fuck and I kicked my habit. You can do it too.
Move closer to your probation officer. Stop being such a fuck up.
Hope you like all the bbc in jail
oh well then, you're sure high and mighty for a fucking felon
Because burglars don't put the public at risk by getting behind the wheel wasted. I hope you go through detox and fucking die.
DUI doesn't necessarily mean anyone was 'wasted', user.
You're a piece of shit and you know it.
no u
Dwi isn't a victimless crime, the state and public welfare are the victims. You put everyone in danger. Stop being a shithead
we the COs will ignore most of your requests or tell you "i'll see what i can do" everyone in the pod will be an asshole. if you have any sexual based charges you'd better hope they have a chomo pod like we do or you're fucked. if you have any battery/abuse charges against women or kids pray you get locked up in max, if not it's your ass. pieces of shit are pieces of shit, but even pieces of shit don't like woman and child abusers. get money put on your books to try to keep hygiene products. don't gamble your trays or commissary as we the COs don't give a shit about your ass if you try to check out of a pod owing debts. good luck, fucker.
Get aids before you go in. That'll show em.
Start massaging your jaw muscles, fag
>read books in his cell
Uhg, reminds me of the last time I got arrested. I didnt have my glasses with me so I sat there looking at the carts of books they gave us, but I couldnt read a word of it.
OH, OP if you like reading bring books. Lost of jails let you bring books in with you. Just dont bring any that are important to you because you cant take them home with you. You have to "donate" them to the jail.
You aren't worthless. You kicked the habit. Most people don't, and they will hurt anyone to get their next fix. Keep on keeping on man.
i spent a few days in jail and it was fun as shit. i met some cool people and ran into an old coworker there. played chess with a really old dude who was really popular and like the "jailhouse lawyer". i beat him (cuz i was a high school chess club nerd) and a few people were like "holy shit he beat x".
OP, I
JUST WENT TO JAIL FOR 2 WEEKS ASK ME ANYTHING
KEEP HAIR LONG
lol magical victims that suffered no consequences
>don't gamble your trays or commissary as we the COs don't give a shit about your ass if you try to check out of a pod owing debts.
what does this mean. that if you owe money when you are ready to leave you get fucked up, and the CO's don'e care?
you're sure high and mighty for someone who won't take responsibilities for their retarded actions. But really, keep thinking you're better than me because you abuse a legal drug. Dipshit.
Tell them you have internet addiction and without it you start having abstinence symptoms, so you can keep connected to Sup Forums, then just do what I do (pic related)
In a system where criminals behind bars live on the taxpayer's dime, there is no victimless crime. We are all victims.
Not him, but I don't care if you drive while on an illegal drug either, as long as you can handle your shit and drive okay. I'd rather share the road with an attentive high person than a texter.
if you're stupid enough to gamble something you don't have, we're not going to hunt down whomever pops you in the eye. if you get fucked up we'll roll back the tapes but we don't worry when someone "fall out of their bunk" or "slips in the shower" county jails have the most dangerous showers and bunks of any facility.
thank you, exactly.
I drive better drunk than most people do sober, but fucking retards think I should be locked up and shamed for life because I'm slightly over the legal limit, which is ridiculously low btw
Hey op. Which prison in GA are you going to? If you need someone to drop off some cash or get you snacks every now and then, I'm willing to lend a hand
why? you wanna suck his dick?
Yeah, I'm kinda the same. I used to be a bartender and we drank after work. I probably drove home over the limit 200 nights out of every year for 5 years and never had an issue.
you should be worried. jail is where the raping and violence happens, prison is pretty chill if its not the highest category
can you just stop driving while drunk and take your beer home.
but jail is where you're actually mixed in with the hardcore niggers heading to max for life
at least until you get transferred to a trustee pod (if they have that there)
i went to jail,
shut the fuck up mostly and dont talk to people unless they talk to you
i still got a black eye for using the phone and "line jumping" without knowing i was
dont go to protective custody you're a pussy if you do and you'll never shake the name
and if someone calls you a bitch, you better stand up for yourself
don't worry about it.
just don't gamble for anything of value, period. theres guys there that will seem stupid, but all they do it sit around jails and prisons gambling, and you will lose. then you'll be tempted to go on credit, then you're in trouble. no commissary this week because the COs are punishing you? tough shit, you're getting fucked up. parents didn't get your money in on time? tough shit, you're getting fucked up
look here's one of the tricks i used.. the big boy table played dealers choice, where you could play any type of poker you want. i'd play a complex game with wildcards, and new players had no idea that a royal flush wasn't a winning hand 9/10ths of the time in that game, assuming they could even call their hand properly, because the board is so complex and you can't sit for 5 minutes figuring it out. that's one of many ways we took new peoples money
you're bound to find people that hate you
no matter what you do there will be someone there that wants to fight you
up to you if you do but they can slap you with DU (detention unit) which is like a closet with cameras and nothing else
and slap on 3 months time
fuck it man just avoid fighting
usually if you get in a fight they'll send you both to DU regardless
just fucking show some respect you know
oh and dont get into debt, fuck that
even if its just a coke dont take credit
I served 3 1/2 months of a 6 to 10 year sentence for Voluntary Manslaughter at Corcoran State Prison. No, I never saw Charlie Mason. I was released on appeal and my record expunged when the only witness admitted to lying in trade for a lenient sentence.
Corcoran is one of the worst prisons in California, maybe the country. I was in level IV lockup, meaning every POS in there was a vicious swine.
First thing, you have to hook up with your racial group. If you don't, you're dead meat or a fuck toy. I'm not a fan of skinheads or Nazis, but after a couple white guys fights-- staged to see how tough I was-- they protected me as long as I backed them up with fights with the niggers, and to a much lesser extent, the Mexican Mafia and La Familia.
The fags had a crew called the Gay Mafia, but they mostly sucked dick rather than fight, but they'd rat pack you if you beat on a fag..
The old cons had an interracial group that was mostly left alone, but they had ways of fucking with anyone who fucked with them.
Here's what you do: move slow, don't crowd anyone if you can help it, don't look anyone in the eyes, but never show any fear. If someone crowds you, stares at you, or fucks with you or your shit, hit them as hard as and fast as you can. Even if you get stomped, you have to make it discouraging to mess with you.
one time i was in jail and ultra nigger 9000 went full on kino nigg freakout at the female guard. screaming he was gonna floor that bitch for about four minutes. caged niggers up top screaming. thought they were gonna lynch me. scary shit f a m
save your holier than thou bullshit for something a little bit more significant
dont eye ball cunts will fight u
depends on where OP is really; like he said it's jail not prison. if it's all niggers, this 100%. but in the jail i was at, there were maybe 2-3 niggers to a pod (64 people), so 2/3rds of the fights were just nigger on nigger, and maybe 10% of the white guys got into a fight during their whole stay (i was in for a year so saw many come and go)
>how do I prepare for jail
>I forgot how I did it last time
GTFO you Faggot
make sure you have money in your commissary account to buy shower shoes and soups (ramen) or whatever the main currency is. Shower shoes are rubber slippers that keep you from getting foot rot.
Let's here some jail stories
I've got plenty to start
Since everyone is obsessed with teh gays, here's one:
>be standing around bullshitting with friend from outside
>really flamboyantly gay kid thinks he's hot, so is hanging around us too
>someone comes in from yard, says 'user is out there showing everyone his dick, asking whats wrong with it'
>gays kids eyes open up wide like a pedo in the boys shower room
>takes off running full speed towards yard
>CO sees, goes after him
>gay kid missed seeing it, got locked down in his cell for the rest of the night for running
>whined about it every day after
>later find out he sucks dick for 2 packs of ramen noodles (no, i didn't, just thought it was funny he did it so cheap)
hear*
The time I got a CO fired was good too
>outside dumping trash in the dumpster
>CO is chatting away on his cell phone
>think nothing of it, happens all the time
>get back to pod, all quiet
>5 minutes later, get called to corporals office
>oh shit oh shit wtf did i do
>'was CO on phone? did he bring it inside? did he use it inside?'
>CO is dick, so give full statement
>go back to pod, think that's the end of it
>5 minutes later, get called to jail commanders office
>holy shit im dead
>have to testify on tape, sign sworn and witnessed statements
>turns out CO lied about the phone, instead of slap on wrist, he's fired
>get back to pod, spend the rest of my stay paranoid about retaliation
>dump all my contraband (nudie mags, tobacco to sell)
>retaliation never comes, in fact guards are scared of me
>skip my cell during shakedowns, stop fucking with me
>so many lol's after paranoia went away
i'm so glad i don't live in the south where they throw you in jail if you fart at the wrong time.
if you're not a dumb shit jail is honestly nothing, it's boring as hell and you're just in a big fucking room wasting time until you fall asleep.
Does anyone have sauce on the pic op posted?
>a couple white guys fights-- staged to see how tough I was
Please explain?
what did you do OP?
Is seriously nobody going to ask the story? Tell us the story or fuck you