Constipated. Haven't shit for 13 days. Poorfag...

Constipated. Haven't shit for 13 days. Poorfag. Any cheap quick ways to get a bowel movement without having to go out and buy shit. Any exercise? Anything? I've tried laxatives they aren't fucking working.

Only real advise I can say is an enema or a doctor

Castor oil. You've been taking chemical laxatives, oil is a mechanical one. Any store has it in the drug section. Couple spoonfuls every two hours until all hell breaks loose.

you need to go to a doctor i had the same thing it needs to go flush that shit out

>13 days?
You need to go to the hospital dude

I've heard that prune juice works rather well

Get the shower hose and put it up your ass.
Push and shit will come out.

Be prepared to dig it out digitally once you start shitting, if you don’t want to tear your sphincter.

If you don't take any stimulants, those will definitely help. Cigarettes, cocaine, even chocolate would help. wtf are you even eating, OP?

OP here. What would the doc do if I visited him? Also I've been taking mineral oil, it says to take it before you sleep but it really hasn't been doing anything.

Coffee but I would recommend a stool softener.

When is the last time u drank a glass of water?

Go to the emergency room wtf. I was constipated for 4 days one time and went to emergency room. Lady game me an enema, magnesium citrate, and warm prune juice.

Half hour later still nothing.

My parents decide to stop at huddle house on the way home. I order some fries and a water. Then my stomach starts fucking rumbling, whole diner can hear it. It's fucking loud as fuck.

My mom takes me home and my stomach is turning inside out, we live like ten minutes away, I'm yelling I'm about to shit myself. We get home, I get out the van and I think Im shitting myself but its the enema I couldnt push out earlier. I sit on the toilet for like 45 minutes pushing my stomach is fucking bloated as fuck dude. I literally wanted to take a knife and rip it open for relief. I decide to draw a warm bath and not focus on it. i get in and lay down for the first bath I've drawn in years.

Then it comes. The pain is back and bigger than ever before, my friend. I'm literally screaming, and my mom has gone back to huddle house and im so thirsty i wanted cold water so bad but couldn't even fucking get up off the tub floor. So i push like I'm giving birth. And I did. To a turd about the size of my fist times 3.

It consisted of 2 hamburgers, a 12 oz steak, and a shit ton of food from an old country style buffet called chasons. I know it had more in it but that's all I can remember.

After it was done with I felt completely normal. My but was a tad sore and I was a bit tired but other than that, fine. My parents even brought me a huddle burger with cheese and I ate it.

Fuck magnesium citrate, I still can't drink sprite or ginger ale bc of it.

You need to drink large prune juice bro trust me. I've gone on benders and can't drop a duker. Drink a bottle of prune juice and it's like Hiroshima in the toilet

I drank a glass of water rn and prune juice like 30 min ago. But you're right I don't drink enough water so I'm gonna have to change that.

Idk man I've gotten constipated for like a week a couple times before and I would just push it out and take the pain but this time it's pretty bad.

>I drank a glass of water rn and prune juice like 30 min ago. But you're right I don't drink enough water so I'm gonna have to change that.


Drink the whole bottle of prune juice... call in sick because you'll be on the toliet for a while... if you have a biet I suggest using that too much wiping causes blood around the corn hole

Are you sure I should drink the whole bottle? What exactly would happen? I'm scared it'll make my ass explode.

>am medfag
What you’re describing seems kinda serious so I’d recommend a doctor visit. Like other user said, they’re gonna give you an enema and magnesium.

Don’t wanna do doctor visit just yet?
Try fiber. Berries, nuts, leafy greens, broccoli, brussel sprouts. Beans are great too.
Try prunes/prune juice.
Try castor oil but only a little amount because it can have some shitty side effects.
Drink a lot of water.
Stiumulants like caffeine and nicotine don’t help you shit. They just keep you regular. If you recently stopped taking any of them then you should try taking them again.
Stool softeners and laxatives are a good choice but don’t go past recommended dosage or you’re gonna have a bad time.

If you see blood in your poo once it passes you need to see a doctor. Make sure to check out the Bristol stool chart. Compare your poo. If you’re properly hydrated you should be going to the bathroom at least once an hour and it should be practically clear. Slight tinge of yellow is fine. There’s pee charts too.

Your ass is gonna blow it's a given.. but the prune juice takes care of business trust me when I tell you.... I use to not shit for a week and it take it and it would be smooth sailing... Drink the bottle and let the juice do it's thing.... I'm in for pics when you take your first log

What happens is it pushes the monster in your gut out.... after that it cleans up all the scraps so it basically feels like you're shitting out water but you need to do it!!. bring a laptop and a charger because you'll be in there for an hour or more

Alright I drank 250ml of prune juice 20 min ago and another 250ml again. I'll drink more 15-20 min later, I can't drink a lot.