I have doubt, but I’m hoping for any Christians on this board to provide wisdom

I have doubt, but I’m hoping for any Christians on this board to provide wisdom.

I was 16 when I decided to go into my sisters room and masturbate next to her while she slept. To this day she doesn’t know it even happened. I feel I should talk to her about it, but I feel as though it will only cause her more harm than good, and really the only person I can see that benefitting is me, as it gives her all the shame, guilt, shock, and damage that I have only magnified.

On the flip side of things, the Bible says “He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy” (Proverbs 28:13), but I feel that could be directed more towards God himself than to people.

What I committed was sexual assault. There’s no denying this. I was in a dark place at a dark time and I made a move that has haunted me for awhile. I feel like I can live with it and just learn to forgive myself so as to spare my sister of this terrible knowledge, but what do you guys think?

>pic unrelated

Why christians? And also dude just move on and forget it ever happened don't try to get in your feelings about how you felt or what anyone else would think just move on and dont do it again. Personally id just straight up ask to fuck her if you've already jacked on her. But that's just me and were different people

Because I feel someone who is a Christian like myself will better understand.

And I didn’t nut on her. I masturbated near her. And you clearly don’t get it...this isn’t something to be proud of. Nor was it natural. This was 4 years ago when I was mired deep in sexual sin. Once she knows, I know it’s going to hurt her. Badly. Plus I don’t like her like that anymore. And you have to think about how the other person is going to feel about it

MOAR GOD DAMIT WHY DO I LOVE INCEST

I understand but what did you say it's been 4 years ?? Definetly don't tell her and also your good man it's not like your a bad person even though it didn't feel natural to you you shouldn't feel bad about it if it was a one time thing you just gotta ask yourself for forgiveness never tell her and dont look back at it

The bible may say one thing but when you break it to her reality is only gonna go two ways your family will absolutely disown you or either she will embrace you for it and may even encourage it

It sounds like something you should ask a psychologist about. Asking this kind of question on Sup Forums is pretty dangerous, as this story is the kind of thing that turns some of us on. I definitely would not approach your sister about it; if she's not above 25, then it's likely that she won't know how to react to it, and it may cause permanent damage to your relationship with her. Confess to God with sincereness, and get your sexual issues sorted out with a professional.

Although, for pure curiosity's sake, what compelled you to masturbate next to your sister in the first place?

I have had a masturbation\pornography issue since I was 11 (when my folks got divorced). It was made even worse when my dad found out I watched porn and would make fun of me and shame me for it. I felt terrible because it felt really good and I didn’t understand why I was such a bad person for watching porn and masturbating, so I began to resent him and myself, and would use porn to kinda feel better about myself. My sister (who I hardly ever saw since she lived with my grandma) was always positive with me and we would basically treat each other as friends, we would talk about personal topics and help each other out all the time with anything going on in our lives, however nothing even remotely romantic was suggested by her. But I just saw her as a good friend since she is my HALF sister and I got more and more interested in her. And since I was so addicted to porn and fapping I figured to combine the two and enjoy that in the best way possible without causing harm, because it might make me feel just really good.

Also that’s a valid point, but I couldn’t think of anywhere else I could ask people rn since it’s 2324 where I’m at. And she’s 26 and married. I know about the damaging our relationship thing, but I just want to do what’s right ya know?

I'm a muslim, but I will help my fellow man in need.
I wouldn't tell your sister. She'd get freaked out and your relationship would never be the same. She'd tell your parents, and if they're as religious as I think you are, they'll pretty much disown you. However, don't keep it inside either. You should maybe confess your sin to god during a prayer and ask for forgiveness. He is the most forgiving, so he will surely deliver, as the faggots on Sup Forums say. Hope i was of help to you.

I appreciate your counsel even though our faith isn’t the same. I actually have been very open about it, I’ve acknowledged that I have a problem and I have been going to group and therapy. Haven’t mentioned it in therapy yet, but I mentioned it in group today. Was kinda happy about that. Have also talked to my brothers in the church about it, to which they had no advice other than to pray on it and prayed with me. And that is true, he is extremely forgiving. So I should just leave it there then, huh? Find forgiveness in God and just accept it as a bad thing that happened ONCE and won’t happen again?

God does call us to confess our sins, but the Bible also doesn't discourage us from using tact. Even now, knowing that she's married and any potential relationship between you two would be both incestuous and adulterous, you need to prepare her for hearing something she might not like hearing (as in, not just bringing it up out of the blue one day) and yourself so that you don't make the confession sound like an accidental come-on.

Again, before you follow any advice involving speaking with your sister about this, I'd highly recommend seeing a psychologist first, a Christian one if possible.

...

I’ll probably just talk to my chaplain about this, as I have heard the “get a second opinion” from MANY people now. I really wish I didn’t commit this sin. This is gonna be miserable.

Your best bet if this is really eating you up inside is to tell her. But the fact that it happened so long ago, its going to be difficult for her to process. The best thing for both of you would be for you to do it again, but this time don't wait for the guilt to set in. As soon as you finish, wake her up and tell her what you did. She will appreciate your honesty and if she's a true Christian she will forgive you.

If you feel the need to confess you do t have to confess to her. The Bible never says that. Talk to a priest/pastor. They will help you and you will have confessed.

How old was she?

Like 24 or 22

Not a Christian, but this. It only really needs to be a confession to him. Your humility is to him, not to the victims.

Not completely a dirt bag then, here's my next comment.

Don't tell her. That'll fuck her up for the rest of her life.
I'm not a Christian, but I suggest praying. Isn't mercy achieved through Christ's compassion? God will listen to you.

That’s the thing I’m worried about. Why is this so pressing to me? Is it so I feel better or is it because I truly feel she needs to know? I can’t say for certain, maybe it’s a mix of both...

To pose a more cynical opinion, you might still be repressing romantic/sexual feelings for her, and even though you know you can't have anything more, a little piece of you wants her to know that at some point, your feelings for her were stronger than just a sister. Your apprehension comes from the fact that you logically know that she won't react well to it. Maybe you waited this long BECAUSE she's married now, and now there's even lesser a chance that she might return those feelings. Your desire to confess this strongly, despite pleading to God, might suggest as much. Not for certain, but maybe.

Fag

Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

In AA, the 9th step is, Made direct amends to such persons wherever possible EXCEPT WHEN TO DO SO WOULD INJURE THEM OR OTHERS. italucs mine.
The fact that you are willing to make amends is enough.
To confess this would do more harm than good. You've learned your lesson. Go in peace.

Everyone has a strong opinion on this, especially cause you brought up an -ism, but I have two responses
>Do not tell her
Some things are better left unsaid, and that will just ruin your relationship because she is more than likely going to not take it well. We all have dark secrets, but some of us understand that you can't forgive and forget if you are reminding people of your misgivings.
>Get what you desire from your religion; don't let others tell you what/how to believe
The Bible says a lot of things, but just like reading the Iliad for the lessons it eventually imparts, one too can read religious texts for the message and not the direct meaning

I appreciate your input, folks. Thanks for helping me out on Sup Forums of all places. I prayed for support and didn’t have any in the logical places since it’s late at night, but you guys really were an answer to that prayer, and for that I’m thankful. Have a great morning/day/night, wherever you all may be.

Goodnight, op.