Hey Sup Forums, girl is coming to my place next weekend - need advice on how to kiss her/dont get into awkward silence

Hey Sup Forums, girl is coming to my place next weekend - need advice on how to kiss her/dont get into awkward silence

not pic related

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easy.

1. make her a greasy meal.
2. the grease will make your lips look shiny and attractive and doubles as kisslube;
also, the heavy meal makes her feel tired and she'll want to hang on the couch or so
3. after dinner you lick your lips and say: what about some dessert?
4. to avoid awkward silence, just talk about your opinions on things, and be bold enough to oppose hers, this makes you look alpha

>greasy meal
i dont think i have much opportunities on that one, what else i can do

be naked. tell her the rule is no clothes in the house.

Don't make a greasy meal. Female here. The meal will just make her queezy and the last thing she wants to do is fart in front of you or shit at all in your place. Make something light.

Kiss lube, smh, get chapstick.

Ask her questions. If she doesn't answer or doesn't contribute to the convo, honestly, she's probably not very smart and therefore not worth fucking.

Good luck.

This works 2 out of 3 times, every time

5. also, set up a romantic mood. kenny g opens them thighs like a canopener
6. incense. lots of incense. burn at least 5 sticks at once.
7. hard liquor only, no wine or beer or so.
8. put on very tight pants and tuck your shirt in, so she sees your crotch
9. shave, but leave some hair on the back of your neck, it's a paleo-thing that makes them horny.
10. dance while doing stuff like serving the meal, or refilling her glass; this wil easen up the mood

worked for me. well sorta. she was coming to stay with me in college while still friends. was going to sleep in the bed because it was the only place, told her I don't have pajamas.

we had sex.

Dont listen to this bitch.
Your ultimate goal is to fuck her right in the pooper, and the best way is to feed her enough grease to lube her buttwhole from the inside out.

i call bullshit.
no womens on the internets.
tits or GTFO.

if you would be a girl you'd know about the power of a hearty meal

i also piano, got any ideas on that ?

let me towch yo bewz LET ME TOWCH YO BEWBS LET ME TOWCH YO BEWBS LET ME TOWCH YO BEWBS LET ME TOWCH YO BEWBS LET ME TOWCH YO BEWBS LET ME TOWCH YO BEWBS LET ME TOWCH YO BEWBS LET ME TOWCH YO BEWBS *GRABZ BEWBZ TOO AGGREIVELY* KL FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#FUCKYOULAWRENCE #FUCKYOUDAVID #FUCKYOUSPENCER #FUCKYOULILA #FUCKYOUCHANTAL #FUCKYOUPATCH #FUCKYOUMIKAELA #FUCKYOUJACOB

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FUCK YOU, LIGHTBEARER CHRISTIAN ACADEMY!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!

I WANT TO MISBEHAVE IN SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT TO SHOUT AND YELL AND SCREAM IN SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT TO SEE CHILDREN WEARING THEIR UNDERWEAR IN SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT TO KICK YOU OR ONE OF YOUR STUDENTS IN THE MOTHERFUCKING ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#FUCKYOULAWRENCE #FUCKYOUDAVID #FUCKYOUSPENCER #FUCKYOULILA #FUCKYOUCHANTAL #FUCKYOUPATCH #FUCKYOUMIKAELA #FUCKYOUJACOB

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a based user's words.
you see: grease technique confirmed

other lady here, you can be hearty without being soaked in grease dumbo (Unless you soak the woman in grease)

very good!
serenade her, singing also brings out the sexiness of your greasy lips.
old irish songs work like a charm

yes, but the shininess of the grease is key here.
also 4 u:
tits or GTFO

The joke was this tactic is called "the naked man" in how I met your mother, they say the 2 out of 3 times, every time thing because it's nonsensical but proves to be accurate when it works for two people and not a third person that tries it

Very easy,
>When she enters your house start kissing her
>Kiss her very loudly as to avoid an awkward silence

I admire your commitment to the tits or GTFO rule, you're applying it correctly and I applaud and support you.
>TITS OR GTFO, "FEM"ANONS

I'm still having trouble putting up a greasy meal, i need something more casual, also what about snacks

i kek'd

trips of truth
dubs confirm

I am a man, but this has me wet

snacks are great too.
i'd use something fish-based, as this subconciously reminds them instantly of their pussy.

so maybe some crab-chips, dried cod, smoked eel.

this may sound weird, but i'm dead serious here.

if you go for the smoked one you have the grease-advantage with you again.

Have your mother come in with some oven fries or tendies half an hour after the girl arrives, take the plate from mum and yell at her to get out and that she's ruining the sexual tension.
This will simultaneously show that you have secure access to food and dominance over women, asserting your position as the alpha of the house (and by extension, your date as she is on your property)

If you want to do it right,
make a spreadsheet in excel,
for situations that may occur,
and for the "spontanious", smart reply/action for these.
this will help you feel more secure.
you can narrow the possibilities down by creating a topic;
e.g. you can play smash bros with her,
and go for situations that occur while playing.

preparation is everything.

saving this one for YLYL thread

As long as you main game and watch, this should work just fine

First you should talk. Keep the convother light and make her laugh.
Once the mood is light, throw on some Netflix or hulu or whatever the fuck. Usually an adult cartoon is best, so South Park or Family Guy.
Have some alcohol. Jack and Coke is perfect because you can casually drink it throughout the night and still get pretty drunk.
Once you're both drunk enough, make her laugh, interrupt her laugh with a shallow compliment of her appearance, put your hand behind her head (but don't pull her head in toward you) and go for the kiss.

Make out, get her shirt off, whip your dick out and she will suck it guaranteed.

Also, make sure you guys are alone in the house and sit together on the same couch/bed.

I fucking died laughing at kisslube

OP, whatever you do, DONT DO THIS.

light convo & caroons make you look childish.
why water down the jack w/ coke?
if she can handle neat whiskey, she's DTF for sure.
the interrupting part is OK, but not with a compliment, this drops you in the beta zone right away.
protipp: if someone is in the house and you guys are not alone, the sensation of possibly getting caught will make her extra-drippy.

to the user who wrote this post:
you really don't know shit about women.
please stop giving advice if you clearly dont know what you're talking about.

Kek'd

C'mon OP, tell us what you'll do before this thread dies