what to do
im 18 and sick of life. I always been poor as shit and looked down on everyone in society. The only places i can stay are toxic environments with mentally ill people. My loser single mum has only known mentally ill losers and is a manipulative fuck who has only ever given a shit about herself. right now im living in a disgusting shithole cause i got no other options. There are bugs everwhere and the place is fucked and makes me throwup. I cannot cook or live properly here even if i could get the motivation to do so. The last 2 years ive lived off nothing but food i can buy and eat rtight away like chips n shit. The best food i actually get that keeps me alive is a maccas meal every once in a while. I have terrible self esteem and no confidence cos i look fuckin deformed n ugly and never had any decent person to guide me or whatever. I avoid all responsibility and am a shut in because of my fucked life. ever since birth i have been deeply disturbed and traumatized by abusive cunts and have more than just ptsd. Drugs n alchahol (having fun) are the only way to repress memories and forget about it all. Everywhere i go feels and looks like a fucking lonely dead end hell and it is. I dont know how to act and dont know who i am. I am weak, my arms are thinner than they were when i was 15. i always have been skinny as shit but even more so now. if i am nice, people prey on me, use me, call me a faggot and gay n shit, show no respect and do not value me. When i dont be like that people will think im scum, a weirdo and a creep and be scared of me. Either way or any way im treated like shit, most likely cause im ugly, alot of people dont like me and try making up reasons to not like me because im weird looking and an easy target. part 2..
What to do
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No one has a clue about me and what really goes on in my mind and just what i know. All my life ive listened to everyone around me and speak for me.
People think im an idiot because i am bad socially and never reveal my intelligence as its another thing i get insecure about. Girls alwyas laugh and make fun of me. They treat me like shit and talk in that bitchy, judgmental attitude. Even though im nice and didnt do anything wrong. like im some piece of fucking dirt and by just being in their presence and vision or something im a fucking asshole and worthless. People always bullied me for being poor and ugly and having a fucked up parent. its not fucking right. i never wanted to be born. I mean literally i was so late i nearly died before i was born. My life has been nothing but a curse and a joke. I didnt do anything to anyone i was just born on this world. My innocence died along time ago. people destroyed me when i was nice and innocent. Then they destroy me over again from what THEY made me become. They look at my old photos when i was a little child and look at me now and say "what happened" as they make fun of me. Good people in this world just get fucked over by this evil society so much they get turned into monsters and blamed again so the society cant feel guilty. I wont even get the fucking mercy when i die of being known as a good person who just got fucked wth too much. No, ill go down as an evil monster who was a horrible person. My own mother has already manipulated everyone she knows into beliveing that. I cant take this fucking shit.
tl;dr
its always fucking my fault and me to blame, cause its so fucking easy. People think im a faggot and a bitch, they dont even know all my life ive been on the absolute edge ready to die. The only reason nothings happened is because ive managed to escape into a virtual world and have fun entertaining myself. Because at the end of the day i dont want violence, i dont want sadness or anything bad for me or anyone else. But its getting to the point where i might have to face reality soon and live on the street and not spend all day having fun watching youtube smoking and drinking. atleast if i do i will be healtheir and be out of this depressing shithole. But i am so unstable and i will surely snap when this happens. I havent been on facebook in 2 years and have no friends anymore. I have lost everything i loved over and over again. I have made so many sitakes and lost so much potential. I have been through so much stress and torment i look like im nearly 30 sometimes. I feel barely any emotion except anger. anger is the only thing that keeps me going. sadness turns into anger. I cannot care about myself or my life because if i do i will break down knowing all i have lost forever and what will never be. my addictions and way of life that makes it barable to live, is making me uglier and more unhealthy and will kill me. Everything is a catch 22. I know every reason and what not about why i am the way i am. if you knew me and the life i had nothing about any of this is without perfectly well deserved reason. most people in this world are assholes and deserve to go to hell. I will find every cunt who ever fucked with me and make them pay. I will take on ANYONE and EVERYONE. People think im such a bitch yet im a ready to fucking feel pain. I will be knocked out and made piss first hit. I will keep coming until i am dead. I will give these cunts a problem.
TL:DR just kill yourself
Get it all out, venting is healthy.
You are, however, a massive fucking faggot. Die already
I will have so much adrenaline in me that if they dont kill me i will kill myself or i will die of a heart attack. A bitch was rude to me the other night and took advantage of my kindness, i told her straight out i will fucking murder her. I got a gun a while back and i will use it to put real fucking fear into any cunt who thinks they can fuck with me. Im not going to die being some fag that got walked all over. I will take as many as i can with me who deserve it and doubt me. Even if that makes evil. I was never evil to begin with and did not choose to be. This fucked up world destroyed me and turned me into a monster. I dont blame people hating me. I hate myself. I cannot stand to look in the mirror. My physical appearance is not me yet i am trapped in this fucking body. i hate this tortue. And i will inflict tortue on every motherfucker ever. It wont even ammount to a fucking fraction of what ive been through. Nobody sees just how much they take for granted having people who actually care about you and security in their life. Nobody realizes just how fucked it is to be around nothing but mentally ill losers your whole life who are ignorant, self centred petty fuckheads. People only take me for a joke even when i get to this point and ready to cut their fucking head off while i get satisfaction from them realizing just how serious i am from the pain of their neck being slit.
educate yourself you pathetic faggot
if you work a lot your situation will improve
stop making garbage threads like this on Sup Forums, work on your studies and in 5/10 years you will live in a nice place.
at the end of the day ill be coming at these fuckers ready to die so they bettr be prepared. I will purposely be a walking target so i can identify the fuckers and make them realize just what kind of shitstorm they have unleashed. its funny because its only the craziest lunatics and thugs that are nice to me. People who have been through the shit and know im real and am living in a real hell by being alive. those people who have been screwed over and made monstrs by this society to. God bless them. God bless every good soul out there whos shown me mercy and kindness. Thats all i ever wanted. But i know im not good enough. But i am strong enough. And i will fight with everything i truly have in me to take you to my hell and show you the demons i face every time i open my eyes.
I honestly just want to have a good life and chill and forget about everything and sit in a room forver doing drugs n shit. But i know that will never happen. Nor is it truly what i want. I wanted to be a person who inspires and maks people happy. I just wanted a normal life and to look and be normal. Or to just be treated like a human. But fuck it too much to ask. Id give anything to be in the stoneage fighting or survival or living in a poor brutal country where i die before im 20. give me some advice/ suggestions if you got any.
Write books much? Fuck man. Get a job and make a fucking move. Stop pushing blame and take it upon yourself to make it on top.
im a fucking faggot cunt? do you want to fucking die because i will and i am happy to have a shot and a fucking cunt like you so tell me who you are you fuckign maggot i am ready. you are the fucking faggot you cocksucking cunt ill will fucking end you
im not blaming anyone fuckhead i am stating reality and how i got here if you beak someones legs how do you expect them to run a marathon
Stop crying, start lifting weights. Clean your room. Eat more vegetables. And get more sunlight.
Just fucking do it and set yourself some goals, for example, in 5 years I want these things in my life and just go out there and take it, faggot.
You have to earn a good life.
You sound like you deserve all youve received
no you educate yourself cocksucker. You have no fucking clue about anything funny how im pathetic just for being born into this fucking life you will surely go to hell with me little maggot. Oh and everyone of you on this site is a pathetic loser just for knowing about this site. and posting. this is the first thread ive made here.
yeah you would think that. Once you turn a good person evil some random like you looks from the outside and thinks that person deserves it. you fucking deserve twice the ammount of hell i have recieved you ignorant fuckwit
you dont get it though it is impossible to even get the motivation to do that. put me in a fucking war please
oh and btw, i know most of you are ugly and weak losers have many of the same problems as me. Yet you all pretend on this site. Get fucking real cunt its all you got in the end.
You can always be my slave, "faggot" ;)
you gona reply cunt? so because ive been abused and messed with my whole life up until i got old enough to put a stop to it, im a faggot? Demons are gonna be waiting for you maggot keep thinking that way.
cunt ill make you my fucking slave
you are 18 join the french foreign legion you will find people like yourself there
What do you mean? You are already fantasizing about choking on my massive cock.
Okay man, first of all, calm down. You're not the only one who's been through these feelings. Yes, it may feel that way given the fact that you've isolated yourself from everyone, but there are plenty of people out there who feel just like you do. They feel unwanted, and alone. First thing's first - harming other people is going to dig you deeper down this hole. I know that much of this hole you find yourself in is a result of you being born in a family that couldn't care less about you. That isn't your fault. And you may think, "it can't get worse", but trust me, it can. How do I know this? I'm an alcoholic. And I found out (before I got sober) that the more you get yourself into alcohol and drugs and isolate yourself, the WORSE OFF YOU'LL BE. Period. This escapist mentality isn't going to help you. Seek some mental health care and get medication for your drug use so you don't seizure up and swallow your tongue from a withdrawal. And don't fucking harm anyone man, you're going to pretty much be harming people who never did anything to you, and you're either going to end up in prison, or dead. You mention some ounce of wanting to self-improve, but you haven't convinced yourself (or anyone here) that that's what you want to do. It may not seem like it, but your alcohol and drug use is the primary reason why you have the feelings you do. Yes, you have an unfortunate situation in which you were born in, but those destructive substances are doing you bad, both mentally and physically. You're supposed to have alcohol on occasion just for fun, not depend on it. It's stunted your mental capacities. Instead of turning to self-destructive shit because your parents hate you, why don't you just give them a big middle finger, go to school and bust ass, and do better than they've ever done in their lives. Then you'll be the one with the upper ground, and you'll have plenty more reason to laugh at them instead of vice versa.
i probably wouldnt be able to or even pass any health test. i wish i could just be conscripted and go fight and have a purpose and not be a fucking waste of resources. But i do have a mind and use it so im not totally a waste like many able bodied people who are complete fucking morons that make up the majority of people in the world.
i passed the medical but i fucked up my knees with all the running, try to get in shape get of the drugs and try it. it is a place for people like us i saw it
Do more drugs
these feelings ive had before i even took drugs or anything. 2nd the people that i would harm would of more than deserved it. I dont harm innocent people, i am an innocent person who has been harmed and i will get revenge. many people think theyre innocent but then will go fuck with someone like me. Medication fucks up my system and gives me the shits, no way i can go there. plus pills are something i avoid. Belive me i have tried your way, the right way. I have tried to care and it just leads to me being made feel like shit and kicked when im down. I have to not care and escape reality to save my own life. But i know you are right even though you dont fully know what ive been through but whatever happens im ready ive been ready and im done. My mental capacity In terms of quick problems solving like maths has been stunted, but my mind is free and my thinking is logical.
Edge looord
you wish you had a massive cock and someone to suck it but youre replying to me talking shit on a loser site so good on ya
are you fucking retarded? how does that make me an edge lord? good people get fucked with turned into monsters by evil people and that makes them edge lords cunt what the fuck are you even on about get the fuck out of here
What kinda drugs u use
It's not impossible to get the motivation, that is weak thinking. You are only 18 and have time to correct your situation.
4chanfit.wikia.com
Start eating right, drinking water, going to the gym and aiming to be a better person, especially if it seems impossible.
and you are one of those fuckwits who thinks like an ignorant asshole so i am saying now you WILL go to hell if i do, nothing fucking edgy or funny about it
i will honestly try. i dont know how im gonna fuckin do it and how im not gonna murder the next person who messes with me or takes me for a joke. Seriously the next cunt to have a fucking smirk on their face as i am in their line of sight or to say something about me will be eating the pavement and thei own teeth
I didn't read all this, didn't look for a tldr if there is one, but honestly just start doing harder drugs and just get in with that crowd. If you're at Rock bottom, they'll give you a pick to make your way further. If you're not dead by the end of it, you'll at least have stories to tell to your buddies around a barrel with a nice toasty fire. Or an hero, but find a way to stream it if you don't mind, internet cafe or something.
People like me once they get to know me but so what. appearance is what matters still in the end. i have no trouble making mates like that and ive got awesome stories of doing crazy shit but i let it all go... that was when i was round 15 i was strong asfuck had muscles stacks of cool shit like guns and ammunition that i stole risking everything but my mum snitched on me
then i went to detention centre bout a month and everything unravelled more they kicked me out of my school and i lost contact with all my mates and they started leaving and doing apprentaceships and partying living life without me and forgot about me
Like I said before, plenty of people have had these feelings even BEFORE taking drugs. All my point was is that drugs will make those feelings worse, not that they create them to begin with. Alcoholics like me drank because of a previous problem in their lives, when they weren't taking drugs. So you're definitely not alone on this, despite what you may say.
Your other point is that you won't harm innocent people, you'll harm people who have harmed you. As far as I can tell, the only way you've defined you being harmed is being called a faggot, disregarded, not been cared for, and isolated. These are things you CAN CHANGE. And yes, you can change those things without going on a mass killing spree. It's about your own self-improvement so that people can see you differently. You can't expect people to bend over backwards and solve your problems for you - you have to do it yourself.
And yes, OF COURSE medication gives you the shits, because you've fucked up your body! This happens to almost all alcoholics who are prescribed benzo for their withdrawal - the get suicidal, have insomnia, and feel depressed. The medication is brutal, but you've gotta wait it out. It may feel like he'll in the short term, but it is SCIENTIFICALLY and STATISTICALLY PROVEN that it will help you in the long run. You act like you've done everything you can, and ran out of options, when in reality that is not true.
although you may not be an alcoholic, from my experience, I've felt a lot of what you've felt. Not caring and escaping reality is every alcoholic's excuse to keep drinking. But you have to face reality one day and tell yourself that you're fucking yourself up even more. You have to be convinced BY YOURSELF that you want to make the changes you need, and choose the right thing. And drugs are not the right thing. Your body is not a lab experiment - if you abuse it, it will abuse you back.
enlist in the military. it will give you an escape from all this, a steady paycheck, friends you'll keep for the rest of your life, and a confidence and self-respect you never knew you were capable of.
If you want a solution, what I'm telling you is the ticket.
weed mostly. good weed ofcourse. none of that organic shit. bit of chronic here and there. valiums and shit like that. But havent done lsd or shrooms yet cause i dont want to fully fuck up my mind and everyone i know thats done hallucinogenics has had a wiring loose after that the only ones that stay cool and sane are the skaters and surfers who got a solid life
Sounds like a cunt, probably what you said in the rest of all of that up there. Well you seem willing to push on, and that's a good thing. Only takes a spark to light a fire and all that. Worked on getting out of a toxic situation recently, and I know it can be hard to look at anything but the bigger picture of "get me the fuck out of here", but if you can take every small victory and stretch it out, you can't lose. And it honestly starts with just getting out of bed in the morning. Hop up, make your bed real fast, brush your teeth. Even if you don't do shit for the rest of the day, at the end of it, you get to get back in that bed with made up sheets and close your eyes and go to the only place you might feel safe in.
Tl;dr - it's alot right now, take it in pieces so you're not overwhelmed. I won't pray for you, but I don't think you should an hero. Best of luck user who's mom is a cunt.
I hear you. i know you are right. like i said its a catch 22. Im just gonna have to push through another lifetime (for me) of hell, to get better. Cos what im doing now will only lead to me being worse off even if i am protecting myself from being harmed and harming others. And dont worry about the people part. its not as simple as that but trust me they deserve it. anyway fuck em
Trust me she is the biggest cunt. Shes also a feminist self rightous hypocrite who uses men and fucks with them to. i am actually suprised im am not gay because of living with that demon. anyway i just gotta get out of this place im living in cos i cannot do anything here and i do want to get healthy and be strong again and be who i want to be. I think ill start by deleting this thread when ready and never going on this site again.
btw im not 18 im 17 now ban me
lol keep raging loser. if you don't work for success you will never get anything
Myself I had a pretty rough childhood. yet I kept going with my studies and did what had to be done.
Now I have a great life, unlike some edgy 18 kid I know.
you didnt have a rough childhood you fucking fag otherwise youd know im not being edgy you moron and youd know its not just as easy as you say it is. it is for you because you probably atleast had some normal things in your life and wernt completely fucked. and you dont have a great life if youre on Sup Forums. youre a fag whos full of shit and even i almost feel sorry for you because atleast im truthful
You are truthful and so am I. You can rage and cry all you want there is one simple truth you will never be able to prove wrong:
If you work hard, you will get somewhere.
and i dont disagree. but you dont understand how its harder for me to work hard then to work hard, if that makes any sense to you
but anyway im not saying oh booh fuckin hoo look at me how bad i got it. Thats what my mum has been doing her whole fucking life playing that woman/ victim card and it makes my blood boild especially since she tries manipulating everyone into thinking im a horrible son
Well what people are you talking about? Family only? Or just people you know? Or both? If your family are a bunch of cunts, then that is not in your power and therefore not your fault. But they are probably shitty people for other reasons that stem back earlier in THEIR life as well. These people do not deserve death man, they just simply don't know any better. If they did, you wouldn't be in this situation. Do not fucking hurt them OP, because like I said, it will dig you deeper into this hole. You will either go to prison or be killed by the cops. What kind of self-improvement is that? Just to take revenge on people? By thinking like that, you're willingly admitting that their life is worth more, because you're willing to fuck up your own just so they can eat shit. The OTHER way to make them feel like shit (that isn't illegal and wrong) is to show them that you're not this piece-of-shit kid they say that you are. How do you do that? By doing the stuff i mentioned earlier. You're definitely a bright guy, don't put that shit to waste just because of these low-life pieces of shit fucked you up. There's ways to bounce back and recover from this. And if you're going to take anyone's word for It, take mine. Because I've been there. You aren't alone in this world, my man.
A mass shooting.
Hard doesn't mean impossible. As I said I had a shit childhood. Dad and mom died when 19 and I had to take care of my young sister. I had to educate her and work on my studies. For 5 years I had no friend and did nothing apart from working. Now I have a good job, a wife and a kid will come soon enough. My sister didn't do as well as me. But I helped her and now she is finally getting out of the shithole she was in.
You will suffer and your life will be terrible for a time. If you keep complaining it will be this way your whole life.
Stop complaining and start doing stuff. Or you will be a loser. No, actually you will be like niggers in Africa who did nothing for 2000 years because "hur dur got a shit life coz of white people and society".
Are you a nigger user?
I get you, i guess its more about them taking me for a joke an a bitch. My family is just my mum and yes she has fucked with me more than anyone and done so much horrible shit and always twists the truth. but id never hurt a woman or my mum even if i never had a real connection to her. I punched the fuck out of rusty metal with nails in it once so i would not hurt her. my knuckels are still swolen and scared two years later now. My sister nearly murdered her. And shes much more together than me. She got out of there but shes always had it easier because shes a girl and looks normal. im glad she made it she fucking deserved it after living through the torture our mun put us through. i dont even have anough years and words to explain her evil. But to answer youre question fully no it was also everyone i knew and didnt know
nah, i wish i was black. id get respect and even more welfare. Infact i wouldnt have many of the problems i have. You had a shit childhood but atleast you had a childhood and had actual parents and things going for yourself. But am sorry for you still. no disrespect and i know if i was in your position though i would have done the same. but this is different. anyway whatver
You do you. But still, don't believe life in fun, enjoyable or anything like that. Life and shit and the only thing you can do is work for a better life. You are still young and that won't last forever. Make good use of your youth. gl user
and my mum was a horrible degenerate of a person who literally thinks shes a goddess because of her not so good life, but that doesnt give her any excuse to have me when she wasnt ready and everyone told her not to have kids she never took any responsibility and blamed us kids for everything. She deserves to burn. Just because i had a shit life doesnt mean if i were to have kids they would have a shit life. what kind of self centred excuse is that. I would never have kids unless i was absolutely together with good life and wife and a million in the bank. my kids would never go through the shit my family line has gone through ever ever ever
You're 18. Technically a man. Get a hold of your own fucking life and stop bitching about your problems to autistic weebs on the internet.
Leave your environment. Get a job in another town. Dont make excuses for why you cant change your life unless you really just want to be a sad little bitch. You can literally do anything you want to if you put your mind to it. Yes there are setbacks but its better to try, fail, and repeat until success then to be a little cry baby on the internet.
Now shut this browser and go take control of your god damn life or sit here and be sad for yourself.
i love what you just said. its so right. Thankyou man. peace and god bless ya
this post brought to you by a disgusting boomer
By not bitching about it on 4chins
nah i dont want to be a sad little bitch and feel sorry for myself like some loser i am going to change or die trying
the classic
not getting it
"How do you expect someone with no legs to run a marathon"- pussy mc pusserson
If someone without legs really wants to be in a marathon I think they'd find a way.
Mother fucker start running with your hands.
go to tumblr
Reply brought to you by a millennial who's never left his comfort zone
Reply brought to you by 55 year old soccer mom with no knowledge of demographic statistics.
Different user here. The drugs are making your mental state worse. Even if your mental state was shit in the first place, the drugs make it worse if you don't use them carefully and methodically. Basically what happens with substance use is you cause various neurotransmitters to spike in concentration and/or activity. The body does not like them to stray from equilibrium and responds by basically reducing concentration and/or activity for a while. This translates into worsened mental state for at least a few days after consuming significant quantities of mind altering substances. That includes alcohol. I've noticed it especially with dopaminergic substances but I suspect I might be more sensitive to changes in my dopamine levels for whatever reason. Some drugs don't have as significant downsides in the days after though.
And you shouldn't make a distinction between drugs and pills. Pills have drugs in them. There are many drugs and they all work in their own very specific ways with their own very specific effects.
You sound like you have the potential to be intelligent but you don't know enough about enough things to reason properly. You are completely irrational and working to rationalize your feelings rather than rationalizing to understand what you should feel. You've built an elaborate set of rationalizations to protect your feelings and prevent yourself from changing or viewing things differently. I'm sure your life sucks but the only thing you have any control over is yourself. So adapt to survive and thrive or kill yourself. All you're doing now is stagnating and trying to justify it.
If your mother has abused you, then yes, i agree she deserves something. If only there was an organization that dealt with abusive parents and...oh wait, report her to the police. Don't do your vigilante shit, like I said countless times, it won't help. Now as some other user said on this thread, get off this shitty site and go make your life better. First thing's first, get mental health care, and get off of pretty much every drug (except nicotine, it doesn't really fuck with your functionality and you might as well worry about the harder shit. I'm an alcoholic and I'm still neck deep in my nicotine consumption). Worry about the rest of stuff like gymming when you get through this thing. This takes weeks if not months, it's not an easy ride, but you'll make it through if you set your mind to it. Again, I believe in you.
fuck off faggot this isn't you blog if its that bad just an hero. Actually tl:dr ed and i normally read all sorts of faggoty shit. figure out your fucking exit strategy you insignificant asswipe
take a second. breathe. maybe get some medication. if you have a place to live and food to eat you can make moves to be in a better place. try not to focus on the bad shit. life fucking sucks alot of the time for most of us. you want to make it better you gotta work hard and you cant work hard if you're so pissed off. alot of people feel like you do.