Estranged and sexually abusive father wants to apologize, get back in touch and be part of my life. Wat do...

Estranged and sexually abusive father wants to apologize, get back in touch and be part of my life. Wat do, let him or tell him to fuck off?

...

Kill him.

Will heed this advice.

People don't really change very much, OP. I strongly recommend you tell him to piss off and leave him entirely out of your life.

I've been through this kind of thing myself, and once you've emotionally opened up again, there will be another betrayal.

You come first.

/thread

Prob this tbh fam

This.

>Wat do, let him or tell him to fuck off?

Are you currently in a relationship with someone else?

Suspected as much. Always good to get a second opinion though.

If you say no and read his response, you'll discover that while not necessarily deliberately manipulative, he'll keep trying different approaches to get you to say yes. As long as you read the responses, you'll be convinced (everyone has a price). You'll feel even shittier.

If you say yes, you're going to repeat all the boundary setting you should have experienced before the estrangement now, which is not healthy for adults. It will be equally upsetting.

Your best bet is to somehow say no unconditionally without making yourself available to read the replies/be convinced otherwise. An easy way to do this is to have a mediator (sometimes a family member or a lawyer) say no on your behalf, and establish that person as the official point of contact, and tell that person unconditionally to say no and unconditionally not inform you of what he says in response. A lawyer is best because it's impossible for a person who's not the lawyer's client to manipulate the lawyer emotionally.

Otherwise, consider the humble automated email reply feature in Google if these are digital communications, and block everything except things you can reply automatically to.

No.

Tell him you're in financial trouble. He needs to help you out to prove he's serious. Take the cash. Then tell the piece of shit to go kill himself, because he's dead to you

What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you even consider it?

>Get therapy.

>No.

Are you lonely?

If so, I would go for it but start slow like dinner and/or movie.

Don't let him get you into bed until like the fourth date.

This
Fathers who sexually abuse their kids are totally overrated.

If he felt sexual attraction when he was paternal and non-estranged and couldn't resist that impulse, chances are that will not have changed once you're distanced and his paternal feelings are more like a stranger. Don't let his blood relations open the door for the predatory nature of the man. If anything, if he was never charged you could use this opportunity to get a recorded admission of guilt and turn it into the authorities. Sexual assaults are getting a pretty strong conviction rating for 2017 and if anything, now is the time to slam an old case open inspired by all the media ones success.

Eh. Don't wanna do something like that.
Dunno. Don't have much family tbh. Therapy sounds a bit.. I don't know.

>Therapy sounds a bit.. I don't know.

ok

pics for reference?

Therapy is actually good, mine wasn't feeling like a good idea to start and then said fuck it and I committed and now I go once a month to just divulge and have a conversation about my life and in a way it gets everything off my chest and sometimes gives me directional perspective that I couldn't arrive at monologuing to myself internally, it's worth the attempt.

Note, therapy only works if you WANT to change. You will have to learn what specific issue you have, and then want to change it. Other wise its useless.

Shouldntve burned the ribs

>Wat do,

Need more info to determine that.

You need to provide details for us to determine your coarse of action.

and pics too if you have them

Probably right. Not sure I'm ready for the hassle.
Yeah my friends have strongly suggested it. Might give it a go tbh.

>tbh


ok

>apoLOGize

You should at least blow him.

it was a long time ago nic

More than served my apprenticeship in that matter..
Yep. Noted.

>Note, therapy only works if you WANT to change

Plus, sex "therapists" aren't usually board certified.

The only reason they do work is when BOTH people want to change.

Id take him back but make him pay for it.
Maybe a cruise and a diamond

My car's a bit of a shit heap...

This seems like the most sound advice.

tell him to go roofie some bar-skank, he's not raping you again.

Really hurt that faggot asshole.

Thought i was reading about my own childhood OP. My heart goes out to you

Slightly surprised by the responses. Half expected a barrage of replies calling me a slut. Cheers anons for being genuinely helpful.

>My car's a bit of a shit heap...

No. Like a Carribean Cruise or maybe Hawaii

right??

OP is so brave

No. iv'e learnt to cut shit people out of my life. People rarely, if ever, change.

First post tits,
fucking newfags

Ive said no to my father for 4 yrs now. He keeps trying. He can't take back what he did or had me do. My mind will never be right but i won't let myself be hurt by him again.

this request isn't about you, he is thinking about him first...you are getting used again.
>you know this

>Dunno. Don't have much family tbh. Therapy sounds a bit.. I don't know.

You don’t get to choose family. Family isn’t inherently special.

Is this the woman who had an abortion at 13 after getting pregnant by her father?

well posting nudes wouldn't hurt, but sometimes we have an off-day where we can actually support people lol

Yeah I'm getting the message. Was probably being over-optimistic.

If you're even considering this, you obviously like to sabotage your own life & make yourself suffer. Welcome him back with open arms, all is forgiven! You'll get exactly what you're looking for

This right here...

You can accept his apology but tell him you want no part of him in your life. Its not a bundle deal necessarily.

>Ive said no to my father for 4 yrs now. He keeps trying.

I hate to admit it but that kinda sounds romantic.

Are you sure you're making the right decision?

>Romantic

He's probably just horny and already knows you're easy

Op is a gril...im gonna need to see the tits your dad suck

Tell'im to fuck off. Pieces of shit like that don't change

Like, you really don't have any thoughts of your own on what you should do? You'll just do whatever we tell you? I can't believe you don't have any emotional tendency towards one or the other.

Anyway, tell him to fuck off, I've never forgiven anyone and been happy about it. People just want you to forgive them so that they can fuck you up some more.

balance hope with known behaviors/outcomes...it's not worth the risk. you are too important
>inb4 whiteknight.

This really depends on how you feel about the situation. If you're okay with communicating with him again, leave him limited access to your life, and force him to prove that he's worth more of your time. If you absolutely cannot see him being part of your life again, inform him that he lost his right to it, and be on your way.

Let him apologise then promptly kick him the fuck out of your life. Bonus points, deny him forgiveness till he begs and cries.

Just kick him out of your life when youre done. You dont need that shit.

Haha, gay

she needs the daddy touch...stop been mean

Men can't be sluts?

I'm conflicted otherwise I wouldn't be asking.
But yeah I'm getting the general consensus.

How old is he? How old are you? Do you want to make peace with him before he dies?

Yes. I haven't seen him in 9 yrs. I'm better off for it

tbh I expected you were a male. For some reason, it's a big shift in my perspective to learn you're a girl. I forgot girls get abused too.

With that in mind, I second everyone who says to avoid this person. If you're like me with surviving abuse, this could be an extremely upsetting encounter. You don't ever have to forgive him. What he did is unforgivable.

>I'm better off for it

Are you sure?
Kinda appears that you're still on the fence about that. After all, you're the one still asking the question after 9 years. No?

It's been 9 years. Give it a try.

I'm 19. He's 58. Ideally yeah but I know it's probably not gonna happen.

I would suggest if you want some sort of contact leave it to just email only. That way you have a record of every conversation and he can't back track on anything he says.

My personal experience with abusers is that they can and will flat out deny they said something that you can prove is true. It's really absurd, but they'll do it.

tell that piece of shit if he wants any chance, he has to confess everything he did to the entire family.

After he does, fucking laugh at him and stay estranged lol

leave that old faggot to get drunk with his shattered reputation

Old fag here. I dont' know what you should do, other than what feels right to you. I dont' know what he did to you or how you're coping or how it's effected your life. What I CAN say is that as we grow older, our outlook on life CAN change. It's possible that he feels horrible for what he did to you and wants to attempt to...I don't know...start again? Get your forgiveness and try to be decent? It's hard to say.

That said, other Anons have said this, and it's true...this is about him. How he's feeling. his guilt? His revulsion with what he's done? His disgust at himself for what he put you through? Hard to say, but while I'm sure he thinks this is about you, it's not. It's ALL about him and his need to reconcile with himself.

Be wary, OP. As much as you dont' have family, and as much as I'm sure you'd LOVE to connect with your own blood, even though he did horrible shit to you...be wary of the emotional cost to you and ALWAYS take care of yourself first. Even if that means being without a father.

I believe people can change

But only for the worse

I remember that thread too. Harsh stuff.

Are you in college? Did you know many if not most universities give free counseling to students so that they don't an hero? That changed my life after surviving young sexual abuse.

If I was in your shoes, I'd probably never want to see the abuser again. I went through nonsexual abuse by my father when I was a teenager, and I never for a second regretted removing him permanently from my life. When I got a call that he died, I bought a round of shots for my friends and toasted the end of his worthless life.

What was that all about?

titty

Updoot for wisefag. Please post more.

Don’t let him back in your life retard.

>You don’t get to choose family. Family isn’t inherently special.

I like to think of it as: you DO get to choose who your family is, and who your family isn't.

79 replies and none of you have asked how big daddy's cock was or if she orgasmed? Have you gone soft?

Nah, this guy can fuck off and go feel sorry for himself without you.

That said, IF you decide that you want him in your life then demand that he come clean about what he did to everyone that matters. If he's not willing to do that then you know how much he really cares.

Meh..us oldfags have lots of wisefag in us...but only in serious threads, which I feel this is. I hope OP comes out alright. As horrible as this place can be, her head-space is probably even worse, considering what she's been through.

And if you are a youngfag who needs to talk, I'll shoot you my kik. And might not even ask to see your butthole.

Ok I'll be the one to ask: what did he do to you? When did it start? How long did it go on for?

surprised it took an hr and a half

tits or GTFO. Newfags everywhere.

FAGGOT

Probably because OP sounds legit.

>Probably because OP sounds legit.

OP is confirmed troll

Do what you know you want to do. which is to
Say yes. Go face down and ass up starting on day 1. Afterwards say: welcome home daddy. i missed you you can sleep in my room.

because that is what this is all about right?

Damn...user's ability to Un-user is blowing my fucking mind. How you know?

>How you know?

op's answers

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