How do you celebrate Christmas?

How do you celebrate Christmas?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=UNR1zpska1I
youtube.com/watch?v=a2MZyKvNMBg
youtube.com/watch?v=FXs-5g9vnic
youtube.com/watch?v=vmEfFlbqbbY
youtube.com/watch?v=qTx-sdR6Yzk
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

I don't.

By myself.

I avoid everyone and get boozed up.

jizz in the eggnog

With family like a normal person

Drink and watch Die Hard

youtube.com/watch?v=UNR1zpska1I

Dubs

Probably get drunk and eat foods I raided from family that day.

I DONT LOl

This is the only option for a true fan of Christmas.

drinking, eating, music, all by myself, no family no friends, far away from home and broke, I probably buy a turkey just for me and a couple of litros of whisky so they last till 26

i eat too much food and watch football

I thought her arm was reattached when I saw that pic.

By going to midnight mass.

Plenty of food, presents for the kids, a tree to dance around and way too much candy.
Oh and we make the food a little unorthodox, It's traditional to make a christmas roast pork here with salt, pepper and bay leaves. We think that is boring, so we make it with salt, pepper, thyme and whole cloves of garlic stuck inside of it and then we have it dripping down on root vegetables with a bit of fresh orange juice on them. We turn the veggies into mash with a bit of balsamic vinegar, it's amazing.
Otherwise we have traditional roast duck, hot red cabbage, brown duck gravy, white potatoes and brown potatoes.

Why would you mix in Christianity with Yule?
It's a pagan holiday held in order to appease the gods so they will make the sun come back again.

No its Jesus's Birthday.

Jesus was a may child.

No he wasn't stop your lies!!!

and
Christmas with The Joker

oh and

youtube.com/watch?v=a2MZyKvNMBg

You're right sorry, it was mid to late September.
He was announced by Gabriel to be on the way in December, add nine months to that and you get a September birth.

youtube.com/watch?v=FXs-5g9vnic

youtube.com/watch?v=vmEfFlbqbbY

youtube.com/watch?v=qTx-sdR6Yzk

It is a Christmas movie. Can't wait for it to come on.

I get on autopilot and stand whatever fucked up shit family has planned, trying to be as polite as possible while getting drunk.

Also now that I am redialing you on holidays, Easter is actually an old pagan fertility celebration for the Goddess Eostre. Bunnies and eggs have always been considered signs of fertility for obvious reasons.
A good deal of the Christian holidays were in fact added and retconned pagan rituals that they added in order to convert people who wanted to keep their scared parties.

redialing? fucking autocorrect, redpilling*

scared? god I suck, sacred*

But enough of me being a party pooper, I do love the fuck out of some christmas.

So you're not gonna redial me on holidays? What an asshole.

By giving my niece a xanax and fingering her/jerking off in her mouth while my sister and the rest of the family go out to a movie.

It's become a christmas tradition for the last 5 years.

Well sure if you called me and I missed it, I would.
But it didn't really fit with the rest of the post.
Also good on you for using that typo to make fun of me, made me smile.

Five years? Isn't she getting a little too old by now?

I don't and it's great.

Badum tish

She's only 44, but she's retarded so you still get the thrill of fucking a 6 year old.

I'm terrified she's going to tell her mom about our games of Submarine Base

...

So you're a tard Molester?
That's oddly sad.

Oh like you haven't dreamed of having a go at one.

They're never short of a slobbery mouth and you're one chuck-e-cheese pizza party away from fucking someone who fucks you like the tazmanian devil when they're on top.

It hits all the hallmarks. Incest? Check. Tard? Check. Pure innocence? Check. Cosplay? They'll suck your dick like it ejaculates ice cream if you dress up as santa or the easter bunny.

Just don't touch their ears or they'll turn into a whirling dervish of fists, thumbs and elbows. You scream "no, don't hurt santa!" but all the hear is "who wants cake?"

Let me tell you something. They all want cake.

It's weird. Pedo stuff (for some reason) seems morally better than molesting tards.

Of course it is, at least they most likely won't get pregnant.

The problem is when you take a kid to the doctor they freak out when they see a raw, torn up snatch. And god help you if they do end up being knocked up.

At least you can explain away a bit of it with tards. Everyone knows they're hypersexual and nobody can resist a sexy tard.

I prepare a three-course meal consisting of depression, anxiety and no self esteem, there will, of course, be a bottle of spirit-crushing loneliness for me to enjoy. For desert I'm thinking of a panic attack an hour or two while I prepare to cry myself to sleep.

You should make a dessert out of every pill you have in the house and down it in a huge sundae topped with chocolate sauce, then crawl into the tub so you don't make a huge mess.

And hey, if you survive, it's a christmas miracle! Otherwise, it's a lovely gift to everyone else.

Like most holidays, I avoid everyone and work all day and drink heavily at night

>tfw not on any medication

then take a whole bottle of sleeping pills.

And i mean like a bottle of 100. Not a little bottle of 20.

Cognitive behavioral therapy and mindfulness meditation user.
Got me out of anxiety induced Agoraphobia, could help you too.

That would require me to leave the apartment.
No thanks.

I empty and clean my piss bottles.

Probably, but then I would miss out on wallowing in self-pity.

I tend to get a lot of people gifts, and yet seem to receive none in return

amazon direct. just have them deliver it.

Or crawl into the tub and jam a wide kitchen knife horizontally into the side of your neck as hard as you can.

quit making excuses and check out already.

Wallowing in self pity is overrated.
Once you've done it for a couple of years, you get bored of it.

Same as every other day, being fucking miserable and deciding if it's worth staying alive. All the cunts running around being vomit inducingly nice to everyone just makes it worse.