Hey guys

hey guys....
luke dies, snoke dies, yoda forceghost and some other good shit happens in the movie

None of that happens nice try

ok sure... hf

I'm beginning to suspect Disney is behind all of these false spoilers.

alright
kylo kills snoke

luke dies after projecting an image to stall kylo and the first order

You realize that is incredibly stupid. Like the worse writing than anything in the new feminist Ghostbusters script.

Luke could have died on the toilet.

ye but that's what happens
gimme 2 and i'll make a full plot for you guys

post*

That is much better writing, because that would at least make some god damn sense.

Yes please post

alright
rey finds luke, tries to get teaching
the first order is tailing the rebels, through hyperspace, which was impossible before.
snoke uses the force to link kylo and reys minds
cont.

Star Wars is Episodes 1-6.

1-8 now Goy

>through hyperspace, which was impossible before.

So was stopping blaster bolts with the Force. Fuck Abrams.

luke begins to teach rey, but she's drawn to the dark side, so he rfuses to continue.
some rebel shit i did not pay to much attention too
the little furry shits that is disneys new plushie lives on lukes island. which also houses a fucking tree with the original jedi codexses
cont.

>Rey wants Luke to train her
>He says no
>She sucks him off
>"first I kiss my sister, now my daughter blows me"
>papa??
>snoke molested kylo
>leia snorts coke and dies
>po and black kiss because SJW want gays

no finn kisses an asian girl named rose

Not so far as I'm concerned. Anakin chucks Palpy down an elevator shaft, Lando blows up DS2, the Rebels win the war, peace across the galaxy, Good wins, Evil is vanquished, end of story. The End, roll credits.

>as if blacks can speak calculator

damn you're a fucking genius

anyway i am very tired so i'll conclude it short
yoda appears and makes a lightning hit the tree with the codexes and shit, talks luke into helping.
kylo kills snoke with reys lightsaber, he turns it with the force and ignites it.
kylo rey fight against some royal guards
kylo asks rey to join him, she says fuck you, they break anakins lightsaber.
she grabs it an leaves
some shit happens but i don't bother

Lando was black. Dude had his own city and blew up DS2.

why is luke black in the new movies ?

J. J. Abrams hates white people.

Already watched it that’s how I know you’re full of shit

luke has some black clothes if that's what you mean?

Will you please tell us what really happens?

i am :)

snoke dying no fucking way, everything else tho idk

sorry dude, he's dead

then who will be the main villain for episode 9?

kylo is the main villan
rey is the last jedi

Kylo Ren of course

any boba fett in the movie?

Rey C. Mixer is the blacked Jedi.

naah but chromedome aka phasma dies

No, because the goyim want to see Boba return.

Anyone please summarize the plot completely? I couldn't enjoy the movie anyways with all the shit going down in my life currently. I just want to know what happens

tl;dr
rebels are in deeeeep shit
rey tries to bring luke back
the first legion almost kills all the rebels
rey goes to kylo, a little back and forth and snoke ask kylo to kill rey
he kills snoke instead
they fight the imperial guards, then eachoter.
kylo asumes role as supreme leader
luke dies after exhausting himself by using the force.
the rebels escape in the falcon

>rey is the last jedi
Well, too bad that in the title "The Last Jedi" the word Jedi is Plural.

Okay so some mother fucker done fucked up the mother fucker and Luke was all like damn, you got a finna nice ass, but you my daughter- Fuck it I fuck you anyway. Then the mother fucker show up and he be like Damn! Then some shit happen and Snoke die like a biatch. Then mother fucker axe the bottom bitch to join him and she say no, so he leave her ass for some new pussy.

confuzin as hell but thank ya
thank ya muh brotha the white bois dont know propa english

SHHHEEEEEIIIIIITTTT

Leia dies to Kylo but finds that he still has the cursed light side running through him.
Ray finds Luke and with Finn in tow tries to get training from Luke.
Luke pretty much says she is too old and filled with hate.
Forces her to leave.
She joins up with Kylo, who offers her power and a family.
Grudgingly joins and heads off to force Luke to hand over the Holocroms.
Luke fights off Kylo but Ray kills him.
They go off without the Holocroms.
Finn weeps at the destruction of the Jedi.
Luke appears to Finn, tells him he is the last of the Jedi.

leia is alive....

I think the funny thing is that if they keep her alive it will be so much harder

Luke should be the last Jedi.

I think there's an issue with the use of the phrase "the last Jedi."
The plural of Jedi is Jedi.

It is definitely Plural. The German title is "Die letzten Jedi"
Clearly Plural.

Mark Hamill has stated that he didn't like the script so i'm pretty worried

Does Rey at least become an actual interesting character? Or does she remain the boring Mary Sue that she was in the 1st movie?

ye he dead... but he will probably be a force ghost in movie nr 9

Rei is a clone.

I'm fine with him dying if the movie is good, but I'm worried the movie ISN'T going to be any good

Rei is the Grand-daughter of Kenobi.
Finn is the Grand-son of Mace windu
Snokes is the Grandfather of Anikin.

if any of this is true then these movies have gone completely off the rails

no it's bull

the title crawl of The Force Awakens literally calls Luke the last Jedi.

You are right, making it up.. though Rei being Kenobi's grand daugher isn't to far fetched.

When are they going to make good movies again?

Fuckin killed this thread man