Germanfag here guys

Germanfag here guys
I would love to read your funniest embarasing blackout storrys !!
Dont need to be an particular drug , everything goes !

was drunk, fell asleep

this is the maximum you get for that picture

What will i get in exchange for this ?

-Be me 17 years old
-wrecked on roofies
-going full kleptomanic mode
-wake up with a Broken nose & hand
- see a brand new collection of street signs in my house
-wtf.jpeg

>>be me, 25 years old
>>wait, i dont remember

Dude i mean aftermaths and stuff or things friend remembers

alright so i have an office in a small town and it has a back room for storage. i keep random shit in it, got a lot of stuff from dead relatives/things from my past (inb4 hoarder).

My buddy got married at this big ass mansion a few blocks down and we naturally got shitfaced. Well, I walk home from there and keep the party going by myself because i couldn't sleep and i'm a raging drunk. once i get started, i don't stop.

next morning i wake up and there's a katana propped up in the corner of the room. it's got grass on the sheath and there's dirt on the hilt. my suit is utterly trashed, covered in mud. go outside, fence to my house is broken.

I had to piece everything together over the next few hours, and was able to come to this:

>blacked out at my house
>decided to go to the office for god knows what reason
>there was a katana in storage from when i was a 13 year old sperg
>I got the katana from the office, left my house key in there
>I leave my back door unlocked bc I have three dogs and they go apeshit if anyone goes back there.
>The fence is broken because I tried to vault it while holding a katana
>I busted my ass in the grass/mud

Keep in mind that the office is about a half mile from my house, which means i walked down main street in podunk USA holding a fucking samurai sword.

final year of law school, 4-5 of us go out on the town drinking, catch a cab back. me and buddy can barely walk
>we help each other walk up the stairs to the apartment he shares with his gf and one of our friends
>i take him back to his room and lay him on the bed because he's pretty much comatose at this point
>i look back and notice she's either recording or about to take a picture
>I leap forward and snatch the phone, throw it out of the room and across the living room, a good 20 feet
>she screams at me, i go and lay down in her room anyway

The phone was kinda fucked up but worked the next day. She caught the whole thing on video, including the aftermath where she's screaming at me and i go lay on her bed.

>be me 21 US fag doing study abroad in Berlin for 5 weeks
>1st free weekend we get me, 1 other guy, and 3 girls from our group accidentally end up in a Berlin pub crawl
>we were already hammered on tequila and jager before just stopping inside what looked to be an apartment with a lot of people going in
>we follow
>turns out to be a raging club, that's Berlin for you
>leave that one after 45mins and 4 jager bombs later #justtouristyshit
>realize we have wrist bands and we're just along for the ride now
>end up at Matrix (I think is the name of the place)
>girls are hammered try to go with some guys from england, we have class in 4 hours and we're hammered
>few of us stumble out of the club and try to figure out the tram
>gonna crash at my place because my homestead left for the weekend, chillest dude ever
>get to the apartment, walk up 6 flights of stairs, break the only key I have in the lock
>werefuckedworsethancaseyanthonysbaby.jpeg
>panic
continue?

Hahaha sounds like a good reason to get shot pal

no shit. the cops get so bored here they'll call in fucking 4 squad cars for someone caught with a weed pipe.

not the only time i've done something stupid like this, but def one of the worst.

Absolutely

Yeah man go on

Working in Berlin, even know the Matrix shitclub. Pls continue fellow exchange student

Would pay to see that footage

I've woken up from way too many blackouts. Worst two were when I woke up on my friends couch and realizing I was mugged walking back to his apartment alone, and when I woke up in the hospital and pulled my iv out of my arm

me not, but id liek to see it too

regarding the pic, I dont think ive ever been so dissapointed in a leaked pic, bitch looks like the type of person to schedule sex, do it in missionary, then read a few chapters in the book shes been reading

not the greatest ever, but recent. i got the story the morning after.

>get blackout drunk drinking at home with the gf after hitting the bars
>gf offers to eat my ass
>i turned her down, saying my ass was too hairy and i thought i might have a hemorrhoid
>she tried to do it to me anyway
>tells me she licked it a few times while i was asleep, it was fine
>now wondering if my gf secretly eats my ass when i'm passed out

She'd never even told me she was interested in that before. Like, came out of the blue. Not sure how I feel about it. My ass is hairy and gross and I'd been out all night drinking and eating terrible bar food.

>be me 20 years old
>Germanfag
>hungry as fuck
>high on booze and xanax
>me and my friend walk past some chickens
>"haha dude lets eat some chickens"
>of course meant ironical
>my dumbass jumping over the fence
>forreal?.jpg
>grabbing the male typ of chicken
>twist it in the air like crazy breacking his neck
>my friend looks at me in shock
>end up killing 4 of them in rage
> shame on me
> prepare them for eating like a real cook would do
>cooking them over fire
>tastesgoodman.jpg

Scary dude

Oh man. Xanax is the worst. I've done more crazy shit on it than anything.

>senior year of high school, am given graduation money
>day after graduation, i score a bunch of xanax from a friend
>I take them all
>already hopelessly addicted to oxy, xanny isn't going to help my mental state
>wake up the next day with an bunch of opened boxes of office software... MS Office Pro
>bought multiple copies of MS Office, even though i already owned it
>Didn't have receipt, don't know where I went to buy it

I blew my graduation money on software I already owned. Never took Xanax again, quit pills cold turkey shortly after (that was a fun two weeks).

Someone got more ?

Not necessarily blackout, and it's short, but people always laugh at me when I tell it.

>me in college, best bars are downtown nearly 2 miles away from apartment
>would walk to bars, stay out until last call at 3am
>the route to get to the bars leads me through some pretty shady areas, and cabs in this city suck
>my solution is to sprint home at 3am so i'm not in bad area too long

Imagine the scene: a drunk college kid runs by you as fast as he can, while smoking a cig, and stumbling all the while.

Somehow I always made it home alright. Never really even fell, maybe once or twice over a period of 6 months.

>Germanfag here guys
Ok? Why should we give a fuck?

Trips checked.

And it might make a difference in whether he understands stories from elsewhere.

Maybe he wanted to hear about drunken exploits from people in other countries.

No need to be a cunt about it.

You got it right my man (op here)

Bumping thread for great justice. I'm this guy

> 23 years old
> came back Home after two days straight partying
>had taken mdma speed etc
> have some important meeting
> looking in the mirror
> ALLRIGHT looking Not that bad
> step under the shower
> damn forgot to undress
> dripping wet
> fuck my life

Oh. Alright, i apologise to op.

I would prepare her dinner by shitting without cleaning after
She will be traumatized for her life
Problem solved

god, been there. was late to work by an hour after a binge on mdma and booze because i couldn't find my keys. i was holding them the whole time.

Yeah man i feel you

I was feeding the guineapig from a friend totally drunk with dog food
3 days later his little friend died because of constipation
Oh man i feel guilty

Checked.

Well I'm slightly curious now. And I'm not out to be a dick to my gf just because she wants to eat ass.

My main problem with it is I know I've got a hairy, sweaty, gross ass and I'm not sure I'll want to kiss her again if she does that. I definitely won't if she eats my shitty asshole.

As an aside, does that even feel good? I'm not sure I get the physical aspect of it.

I feel the same way about mine
Couldnt imagine my girl wants to go down on me
But i could imagine that it feels god for a percantage of man ..
I mean there are a Lot of porn including some crazy girl licking assholes and the guys seem to enjoy
I would give it a try i mean if she already done it who cares ..
But tell here before about not kissing and shit buddy
Good luck

>takes Xanax
>buys Microsoft software
all of that wouldn't have happened if you used Linux

Wow emma watson is a fucking slob