My wife is coming back in 2-3 hours and i need to not smell like booze. help me Sup Forums

my wife is coming back in 2-3 hours and i need to not smell like booze. help me Sup Forums

I want an explanation

Just go take a nap and just use mouthwash and shower up before you do

rub shit all over yourself

i just drank a lot while she was gone. not really much to explain

Start cleaning house. Bleach the toilet/tub. Use the pine stuff on the floor. Before you start drink a lot of water to hydrate. Then clean hard and sweat to seep out some of the booze. THEN hit the shower to clean up.

Go into the shower just before she gets home.

She'll be so fucking surprised you are cleaning that she won't process the booze. Also some cologne post shower.

This

Shit yourself and then say that you forgot to use diapers. She probably would want the divorce, but you won't smell like booze

poo poo pee pee pants

Why the fuck do you care if she knows you were drinking?

Why do you need to hide that you have been drinking?
That's not how mairage works.
You don't lie and keep secrets.

she's pregnant and I don't want to rub it in. doesn't mean I can't have some fun now and again

Burp in her face and tell her to deal with it.

take a shower, do laundry, and drink some coffee

Don't hide it.
You have obviously chosen alcohol as being more important to you than she is or you wouldn't be trying to hide it.
Best to let her know now where your priorities are so she will know how far she can trust you with the baby and with your relationship in general.
She deserves to know that alcohol is more important than she is.

you talk like a fag and your shit's all retarded

Dam son

lolwut

Don't do anything. Punch your wife in the eye and show her who's in charge. When did men become such flaming, faggotous pussies?

brush your teeth and gargle a few times. your booze will smell like mouthwash

don't hide it from her. If she asks, you had a couple. Don't lie because it will only make things worse. as long as you're not openly drinking in front of her there is no reason for her to get upset.

He makes a good point. Once she's aware of her relative position she should quit making unreasonable demands and start behaving herself.

are you one of those ink haired,fish mouth lsbian SJW fuckers?

No.. I don't even understand all of those terms.
I have long brown hair, I hate fish, I don't think I've fucked any sjw. I mean, maybe I have. I've never asked.
Recently though I've just been fucking dogs and horses.
It's been about 4 months since I fucked a human.

holy fuck the autism levels are off the charts

is there any porn with that 2D vixen?

get a load of this cuck

...

You don't need help, you need balls.

You're a person, you do things. Which obv includes drinking. Ok?

>indubitably

neck yourself

He needs exactly what he came to the thread for, and got.

Go away now

Take a shower and brush your teeth idiot

>2088
>not knowing what greentext is for
>talking like a fag
>having shit all retarded
shiggydigging

Eat a leaf

>OP is 12 and his mom will be home in 2-3 hours, how to not smell like his mom's wine?

Peanut butter actually covers alcohol smells pretty well. Also eat food so you dont have beer burps.

thanks r/relationship

Your "wife?" I think you mean your "mother."

Justbecause you married your mother doens't make it normal cleetus

great mom jokes guys keep it up

This post it's kinda true but the thread are full of retarded who don't even have childrens or wife

op just talk to her, tell her you being drinking just a little bit because you were bored and alone without her , she will understand and suck dick

tbh this kinda
whenever you start hiding things from your wife/gf its safe to assume youre sick of em, whether you consciously realize that or not

Eat ginger for the mouth smell.

this is actually not bad

It was a joke but really, peanut butter does it.

>being quoted in an implicative manner and thinking you aren't a fagsock

shiggity diggity boo whop

Kak

take a bath

uindeRRRated post

This is good
Also, eat a peanut butter sandwich right at the end

when did Sup Forums get so gay

Fag

Sup Forums was always gay

This is exactly what everyone new here says to appear old. Fuck off.

>posturing while accusing others of posturing
nice virtue signaling newfag

when did Sup Forums get so unaware of the definition of virtue signalling

Why don't you mask the smell with your giant sopping vagina you pussy.

This is the only post you should listen to OP

Since when is standing up to your wife and not being a pussy considered gay?

cum on the kitchen or living room table
it well distract both her visual and olfactory systems.
guaranteed win

>distract both her visual and olfactory

Damn dude.
If your cum smells that much and that bad you need to get some medical help.

Yeah I mean sure you were trolling him but gonna give respectable fags a bad name amirite?

>virtue signalling is presenting the appearance of being virtuous, that is overall innocent and ignorant to the need for criticism.

You could call what he is doing a preworn statement, or a pre-supposed reverse signal maybe. I'd say "pretentious" but everyone thinks that word means something else and wouldn't be able to pull "pretense" out of it.

Should've drank Hennigan's.

The no-smell, no-tell scotch.

Who cares. Your wife is a bitch if you have to hide drinking from her and you'll probably be divorced in 6 months anyway, so...get it out of the way now.

this marriage seems very healthy, jesus christ, its not about controlling people's lives, live your own life dude

IF SHE HAS A PROBLEM WITH IT GIVE HER MONEY FOR PILLS. Women love pills.

eat an entire raw onion like an appel.

drink your own piss, she'll ask 'ieuw what's that awful smell'

and then you can reply "Its survival juice, want some?"

This fucker knows whats up

Sounds like she's got issues lol

this is easily fixed
>hide
>wait for here to get in the house/apartment and close the door
>push her to the ground
>gift her with surprise buttseks
>growl in her ear "you better moan bitch or this rape will become a murder"
she will completely ignore the fact that you reek of booze

Smoke weed

OP larp and yet gets pussy whip by mommy,keked!

the fuck?
why hide it
get that fat whore drunk with you