Tinder greentext bread. Post success stories, weird convos, etc. I'll start
>be me
>no_gf.png
>meet girl on tinder
>we hit it off
>decide to meet
>go on several dates over the course of a few months
>become facebook official
>"user, i want to try your fetishes"
>areyousureaboutthat.mp3
>meet at her place
>i vore her
>be me
>no_gf.png
This belongs on /soc/. MODS
>be me
>tfw no gf
>meet qt3.14 grill on tinder
>wouldsmash/10
>hit things off
>get drunk
>she just started her period
>idea.jpg
>have a prescription for Xanax
>bang anyways
this is Sup Forums everything belongs here retard.
newfag
>Calling me a retard as an excuse to bump your own thread
>Not putting sage in all fields
Sage
>implying he was op
Nice waste of dubs fag
nice waste of dubs, fag
faggot fuck you
wow this kids a little bitch
hey isnt it past your bedtime?
this is Sup Forums motherfucker,
kids arent allowed on here anyway.
underage B&
Then get lost, you autistic snapper head
>this is Sup Forums mother fucker
get real, you aren't a hard-ass for going on Sup Forums fuck off
>be me
>chad on outside, autist on inside
>prostituting myself to old women on tinder
>50 something nigress responds
>we agree on price(i charge more for darkies) and plan to meet at her apartment
>show up
>knock on door
>5 year old grandson answers
>fucking spooks
>place is a mess
>lil bill playing too loudly on the t.v.
>make way to the bedroom
>good god shes even fatter than i thought
>whatever, money's money
>says she loves "lil cracka diqs"
>a little offended but get job done
>"oh baby, befo' you be leavin', how much to eat my ass?"
>literally shudder at thought of the question
>"uhhh...i'll need at least 150 for that"
>starts rummaging for cash
>"ooh baby im a little short, that okay?"
>"how short are we talking?"
>"i need about tree fiddy"
>and then right before my eyes, this disgusting blob transformed into a 50 foot tall creature from the Triassic era
>"god damn it lockness money you are not gonna get my tree fiddy"
gay
I'm glad you didn't get quints with this or I would have actually killed myself
I remember being 13 and thinking using Sup Forums made me a big boy
>vore
so you ate her?
I had to look this up...
>I had to look this up...
>Being this new
>Being this new
just. not. really into those threads.
and they are new. fyi.
I sometimes get accused of being a chatbot on tinder by girls. I'm not a chatboy. I just have autism.
>match with latina 5/10 shortstack
>meet up a few times
>movies, park, etc.
>end up smashing on the third date
>"wondered when you were gonna do that"
>mfw this girl was just a dumb white boy slut
>mfw she woulda fucked night one if i wasnt an autist
>mfw definently lost brain cells talking to her
>mfw i still hit the pusc occasionally
>be me
>armyfag
>at fort riley in kansas
>getting bored of just hanging out with dudes and railing sorority chicks at ksu
>hear about tinder
>create an account and upload all my motard pics of me in uniform
>most of the chicks i swipe right on are an instant match
>bang 3-4 girls that are about average 6-7/10 that are very local
>finally hit up a hot red head that i will have to travel out to topeka to meet
>meet her and we hit it off
>take her back to the barracks and try to fuck
>she won't
>wat.mp3
>keep taking her out because she is fucking hot and has a huge rack
>after 12 days of pretty much constant talking/dating i invite her over just to watch movies
>we watch the notebook, i can hardly concentrate on anything beside her tits
>during one of the sensual parts of the movie we start making out
>she finally lets me start undressing her
>get her shirt off and bra undone
>tits bounce out and do like 3 afterjiggles
>i almost cum on the spot
>perfect hairless pussy
>eat her out and it is tasteless
>she sucks me off and i'm about to fucking blow
>slid my dick in the tightest shit i have ever felt
>nut within 5-6 minutes
>pull out and my nut shoots the wall above her head, getting all over her face also
>she licks it off and swallows it
>i'm in love
>she leave and we keep talking
>6 months later i'm in california prepping for a deployment to south korea
>ask her to marry me (was honestly for the boosted pay when i deployed)
>she surprisingly says yes
>about to deploy to south korea
>we find out she is pregnant
>fast forward 2 years and we're still together and have a kid, house, cars, boat ect
tl;dr fuck a girl on tinder married her and got her pregnant, shit was cash.
kept expecting this to take a turn but was pleasantly surprised
I don't know what's more impressive, you going 12 days without jacking off or your ability to get your hand pregnant.
Whatever you want to call it my man.
I never had much luck on tinder. I did smash piles of average to below average pussy on plenty of fish though. Can green text if anyone cares.
>south korea
>new york
Pick one
deployments dont last for ever shit for brains
I'm out of the army now and currently living on the east coast. Didn't want to put my local city up there so i looked ny up.
armyfag can't even find his city on a map
useless mother fucker
"ability to get your head pregnant"
So, the redhead was his hand?
Disgusting
Why do you think I joined in the first place?
Ghostnipples/10
You lucky bastard :)
Also
More
true
I'd kill some fucking hajji's too
>joining the army
>not joining the navy
At least you aren't a marine
im a pretty normal guy otherwise but im a complete sperg with talking
after i know someone for a bit its easy but i get a lot of decent matches i just never talk to them because i suck with the small talk shit
Wonder how many guys shes fucked on your deployment? Im sure that thought never crossed your mind so dont worry about it
She's pale for sure. wish I could provide more but she's awake now and as you can probably tell from the story, very shy.
>tfw i get NO matches
>am attractive
I swear my app doesn't work because I refuse to turn on location.
literally stopped giving a shit about messaging because most chicks just stop responding after a few days. just str8 up ask if dtf
well no shit dude of course
Well it wants me to use googles service, and pops up hte message 20 times. I just hit cancel over and over until it goes away.
I still get matches from near me though, so something is working.
either low quality bait or exteme autismo
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
...
but you act like you are lmfao, what a piece of shit
:') guys like that get shot first 9/10 times