Be american

>be american
>get shot
>have to tip the shooter

>be american
>wear a fedora
>fedora pays compliment to a fine young lass
>have to tip fedora

What an original post that hasn't already been posted 100,000 times already

>What an original post that hasn't already been posted 100,000 times already

...

>be Singaporean
>get arrested for littering

There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn't he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.
I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little >be american >get shot thread up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don't even fill in the captcha. Maybe you're such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a Sup Forums pass, so you just choose the picture. Oh, and we all know the picture. The "epic" golden lel, isn't it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your Doritos on the floor, but it's ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that's right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she's probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on Sup Forums posting about the US. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic >get shot NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can't even try to talk with you because all you say is ">BE AMERICAN >GET SHOT." You've become a parody of your own self. And that's all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he's done a million times now. And that's all you'll ever be.

>tfw this happened to me today
FUCk ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR

>tip less than 15%
>YOU WEREN'T SATISFIED WITH MY SERVICE, SIR?!

Underrated

...

>be Singaporean
>chew gum
>get shot

>be a prison-islander
>get bitten by a giant spider
>ride on a kangaroo to the hospital
>get treated by an aboriginal
>get hunt by an emu on the way back home
>die of UV radiation due to large holes in the ozone layer

>be australian
>housing bubble
>games are good $50 more expensive
>tramp stamp on flag
>everything is venomous, from dogs to sisters
>mommy has a belly pouch
>ping 400+ with data cap to slow down on that supersonic 1.5 Mb/s """"Internet""""
>struggle to load up about:blank
>smear vegemite on your wooden cables to boost the signal as petrol shaman instructed
>have a Gaytime that is hard to have on your own
>celebrate National Sorry Day
>go to Canada as a girl, get drunk and frostbitten during a nap outdoors in February
>go to Bali and get burned
>be tasmanian, be inbred
>get cancer due to the lack of ozone layer
>get glassed
>get fucked by Wei Long
>get shot by Muhammad the Pinoy
>get stomped by emus
>get kicked by cassowaries
>get stung by platypus and live in horrible world of pain for months
>get bitten by spiders in your closet
>get in the water and step on a venomous sea urchin
>get stung by a 4mm jelly fish
>get curb stomped in kings cross
>get privilege checked in lelbourne
>get chlamydia from koala
>get anthrax from wombat
>get fucked by kangaroo
>get rused by NBN Co. site
>get invaded by chinks
>get bit by snake in shower
>get kids stolen by dingos
>get laughed at by two Polacks on Sup Forums
>get nuked by fucking Brits of all people
>get mocked by New Zealanders
>get outside and fall into the pit because the world literally hasn't rendered yet
>lose all wars, even against allegedly lesser beings
>huff petrol, bubble and drink cow piss from a goon sack

fuck off cunt

you seem assblasted son

>actually took the time to write all that shit out

Not accurate.
The Doctor would be Indian not abo.

What the fuck? Since when were we in the radar for banters.

>not knowing its a pasta
wew

I didn't know

singapore is not entirely irrelevant

Kek

>be russian
>drink bath lotion
>die

>be american
>can't drink water straight from the tap
why is USA so third world?

hehr

Jesus Christ this can't be real.

Isn't that only in flint?

Normies begone

is it even worth to be this triggered?

For inner-cities, it's real.
For everything outside of the city, the tap water is absolutely fine and most just get their water from tap.
>he lives in a third world city

Fug

>be Australian Jew
>burn on the natural oven

>be nip
>burn in american oven

>be finn
>waste entire beautiful summer day shitposting on Sup Forums

>i want to speak with your manager right now

>be american
>see a bantz thread
>tip aussies 10% for quality bant
>write full butthurt response
>tip yourself for your autistic scribe services
>get shot
>tip the shooter
Just another day of a regular Joe

>be american
>get arrested for tipping offense
>get shot by the cop because he was "fearing for his life"
>thanks the officer for his service before dying

>be czech
>already burnt

>the officer takes his wallet to tip himself