ITT Sup Forums Takes over a Midwestern American town for its ne'er-do-well

ITT Sup Forums Takes over a Midwestern American town for its ne'er-do-well.

Whoever has been putting condoms on my horse, stop. You've cut off the circulation and now he's going to lose his dick

Someone TPd the town hall again. Next time please do something clever like gluing all the locks closed

Then stop letting it get into my pastures dickhead, it keeps trying to rape my dog

Anybody have a vhs player? I just inherited my dad's porn collection but i can't watch it

Party at my house! The Wi-Fi just turned on again, and anyone who brings booze gets the password

I just heard a girl yelling in the woods. That better not be my kin

My son just came out as a homosexual. What do i do? Was it my fault he feels this way? Please help me

Did anyone else see the shitskin by the market today? How the hell did we let him get there?

He's not your son. He belongs to the devil now. Let him burn, you've done all you can

So my son just told me about these things called bitchoins, and apparently you can farm them? How much land do i need? What time of year do they grow best? My son won't tell me, he just laughs at me.

Mom just took all my weed and my car, can someone give me a ride to my farm? I'll give you a 10% discount

I guess I asked for this, but now the locks are epoxied shut

*overdoses on heroin violently*

Yeah bro, I've got one just come to my party

Reminds me of momma's cooking. Damn I missed her

I'm out front bro

Cool dude, thanks for bending that shard of metal out of the way. Its up here by Pussy Pass

No problem. I'm new here, why do they call it that?

goddamn OBAMA with his regulations

Should have aimed better. Badumtss. An overdose doesnt sound too bad about now

yo

I assume you mean Pussy Pass. All the horny teens from the High School go there to bang

hey let's go to the party store and pick up some ices and pasties

Go back to your own country britfag with your shitskins and mudslimes

...

I found my soul mated in the town next to me at the local water hole after railing all of her friends. Also, that stupid teachin bitch said I'd never make more than 50K a year unless I studied. Jokes on that bitch, I work at the steel mills where I breath poison all day, and I make 80K a year working 80 hours a week!

You clearly arent from anywhere in the midwest or even have relatives in the midwest if you dont know what a pastie is.

Im a born and raised Nebraska native and I dont know what the fuck that is. Looks like a fucking chicken pot pie calzone.

Now that this shit town has its own thread, I can greentext

>12
>Move from Sunny California to Devil's Prostate, Missouri
>Start going to shitty middle school
>Already learned this shit, school is easy, teachers love me
>Good looking because of superior Cali genetic selection
>Rich, everything is cheap in Fagass, Lousiana

literally from indiana, never heard someone say something so autistic as "pastie"

>Missouri
>Louisiana

The holes in your story gape almost as large as the one in your ass.

Damn, sounds like ass coming from someone in california. Would fucking move if that were my case

>Most popular kid at school
>Valedictorian, Prom King, Most Likely To Succeed, all mine
>Have quite the ego at this point
>Decide to go to college out of state
>Mfw I go into debt paying for school
>Mfw I know nothing we're talking about
>Mfw I drop out in serious debt

Now I live in the basement of my crack-addicted high school sweetheart posting on Sup Forums.
Fuck this town

Texan here, what the fuck is a pastie.

Its phonetic. Say the word in your head. It sounds like another word, right?
Missouri=Misery
Louisiana=Lose-iana

pastie is a michigan thing

>iwasonlypretendingtoberetarded.gif

It's a delicious meat-potato-rutabaga calzone eeaten with lots of gravy

Believe it or not, some people think about their words before they leave their mouth

Also checked

That's really spot on with the all-caps OBAMA

Its an anagram

One
Big
Ass
Mistake
America

I saw that on a bumper sticker and really liked it

COUNTRY. MUSIC IS. MUSIC. THAT. PERTAINS. TO REAL LIFE. IT. HAS. WORDS OF. WISDOM, IT. HAS WORDS. SAID. ABOUT HOW. SOME. ONE FEELS. WITH. LOVE, SORROW, AND. HAPPINESS. IT IS. LIKE. A LETTER. WRITTEN. TO SOMEONE, BUT IN A SONG WAY. COUNTRY. MUSIC TELLS. OF. TRUE. THINGS. IN LIFE AND. GOOD. ADVICE ON. HOW. TO. LIVE IT.IT. IS. DOWN. TO. EARTH. WORDS. FOR. ALL. TO. UNDERSTAND. IT. IS. WISDOM. PASSED. ON IN. SONG. WORDS, SOME. TIME WORDS. ARE. FORGOTTEN, BU A SONG. FOR. SOME. MYSTICAL. REASON. CAN. BE. REMEMBERED. FOREVER. TAKE. THE. TIME TO LISTEN. TO. COUNTRY. MUSIC, TAKE. THE. TIME. TO. KNOW. WHAT LIFE. IS. ALL ABOUT.

Whoa, you gave thought to that post and it was still that retarded? Like, you meant to be that autistic? Bruh, get help.

SHUT THE FUCK UP TRISTEN

pasties is a Uper thing

>"bruh"

...

We do meth out here you city slicking faggot

Pretty sure pasties are just a Michigan/Wisconsin thing, that's just most of the midwest.

You have to be 18 to post on Sup Forums, take you and your buddy's 2 inch willies to another site

If country music is what life is all about I don't want to live.

Everyone going the high school football game tonight? Highlight of the week

>doesn't know small towns

You're in luck because there's a lot of that here

Not living I mean

And country music too

exactly

Hell yeah! Last year's got bombed by a crop duster filled with lube!

I'm well aware, with such a low population I'm amazed at the rate ODs seem to have been happening in my hometown, after so many years you'd think there just wouldn't be enough people left....