Tell me a useless skill you have

Tell me a useless skill you have.

I can recite the entire Navy seals pasta off the top of my head.

I can do the kazotsky decently.

I'm decent at photoshopping Renault Twingo's onto other cars.

Yeah I'd call that pretty useless.

Video of you reciting the entire pasta while doing the kazotsky or gtfo.

I can count to potato.

I made everyone think I was gay in highschool. I don't know why. I'm straight as a pencil. Half of everyone I know now still thinks I'm gay.

Well, Here's my list:

>I can "grunt" in a lot of styles pretty well (a lot of people have told me this)

>For some reason I'm good with mazes and letters soup

>I can move my ears

>I have learned a lot of curiosities and useless facts I never share with anyone

I have the uncanny ability to make any situation infinitely worse just by existing.

I can clap in triplets at 120bpm, with each hand individually

I thought that was called being anyone, anywhere, ever.

My brain archives the most useless shit, I can remember speeches and conversations word for word but I can't remember where I put my shoes

Actually a little faster than that. I checked.

Most Sup Forumstards do.

Maybe I'm retarded or it's cause i'm not a native english speaker, can you specify?

How the fuck do you move your ears, are there even muscles back there?

Lies

I can suck my own cock, not really useless, but it's made me a useless person. I spend all my time sucking myself.

Dont worry dude, I'll do the same if I could do it

I have that too. I'm also able to learn texts, like song lyrics(and the entire navy seals like i said in op) in about 3 days if I put enough effort in.

Day 1, I repeat the text numerous times, for like 20-30 minutes. After all of this, I can't recite it for shit. Skeeping magically makes me process what i learned that day, because the next day i can actually do it quite well.

Day 2, I repeat the text as well as I remembered it, only using a cheatsheet when I absolutely can't remember. Again for about 30 minutes.

Day 3, a few repetitions and i can pretty much do it. Some stutters here and there but that's it.

Day 4 is usually where I'm completely fluent.

not a native either. I can clap with one hand, at the speed of three clap per beat, given 120 beat per minute, and do that with both of my hands.— actually I can a little faster, but it becomes harder to maintain it

Oh right. That's 6 claps per second, damn.

>How the fuck do you move your ears?

I can move them up and down not control them like hands or something, and I do it with some muscles of the face.

I'd say it's pretty fucking useless. Far from impressive I agree.

i can tie my shoe in under 1 second
i laugh at others who struggle like retards

I can curl my tongue to the side and I can tie a cherry stem in my mouth, but I’ll probably never get to use my mouth on anyone’s dick.
I can identify songs by the first note or by the intro sounds.
I can sense when something is behind me but only when it’s so close that if it wanted to hurt me, it would’ve done it already.

That's pretty much what I do as well. Once my bf and I were playing pokemon go, and he caught a spearow, and named it spyro, after spyro agnew. He asked if I knew who spyro agnew was, and I looked at him, and quoted,

"Sometimes it appears that we're reaching a, period, where our senses and our minds will no longer respond to, moderate stimulation. We seem to be approaching the age of the gross.. persuasion through speeches and books is too often discarded for disruptive demonstrations, aimed at bludgeoning the unconvinced into action"

And he was super impressed that I had retained that, and I wondered where the hell I heard it in the first place.

>We play actual pokemon now

sorry, made a typo. post was
>that's neither impressive nor useless

It's just proof that you have a method an a decent memory. It's a good tool ; of course if just let it hang in the garage and use it to bash the neighbor's trashcan every sunday it's not useful.
I used to do this shit all day long for uni/music

...with each hands !
the left one is a bit weaker, had to train that one to catch the other, so it's important to notice it.

Your are my hero from /o/

I can make fart noises with my hands

I can use GIMP

I can eat noodles an pull them through my nose

i can read aurebesh with little to no difficulty

Please, more.
God, please, more.

>I can recite the entire Navy seals pasta off the top of my head.
WOW! What talent.

Impressive.

I can bend my thumb up to 90 degrees

I'm great a non-competitive video games

i can see other people feelings but i dont know how take advantage of it.

U a drummer by any chance?

I memorized and entire lecture about the active ingredient of catnip

I can tell you the first note of a song (kinda like perfect pitch) and I recognize a song by the first note... I can also click my fingers in a cool way and spray water through a gap in my teeth... it looks cool

I can calculate the square root of any integer, to an accuracy of two decimal places, in my head.

1. As quickly as a normal person can countdown from 10 to 1, I am able to countdown from any number (100, 1000, 5642, etc.) by whatever interval (3's, 7's, 23's, etc.) someone tells me to just as quickly without even thinking about it.
2. I can read & spell any amount of text backward just as easily & quickly as forward, including proper reverse pronunciation.

Doctors say that a have a mild touch of Sperg.
Also:
PO toggaf, uoy wercs.

I can juggle up to four eggs
Can make a long pause when peeing
I can sing with my throat like Mongols

i can make the air smell pretty bad.

Right i gonna let you autists leave you here alone.

!!! toggaf, flesruoy kcuf oG

˙ɹǝʌǝʇɐɥʍ ɥɐǝʎ

.tsop gnorw ot deilper, spoO
:rof tnaeM

.dkeK

I can swallow fire from a flaming incense stick.

n̸̯̼̻̪̣̤̩͕̩̬̣̙̦̬̼̙̹͐ͫ̄͂ͣ̊̑̀̔̾̏͛ͣ͋ͤ͐͡ṕ̗͓̜̱̪̗͎̩̣̼̫̟̩̖̖̠ͩ̑͋̈̎̾̒̀̽̄͌͐ͅ

I also remembered that I can read upside-down.

.gniht emas eht toN

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars
I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars

For what is probably 25 years at this stage, I've never forgotten ABACABB

Oh also I can read the rick and morty IQ copypasta in 46 seconds

I can break anything just by not paying attention.
I can sound like a young girl, or a constipated Orc.
I can make weird dinosaur noises.
I can also Mongolian throat sing.

I can fap to everything

-can do the kazotsky
-can bend thumb 90 degrees on both directions
-always wake up at 2am, 4am or at 5am for no reason
-can run doing duck walks

same my guy

thats usefull tho

Now that, user, is a valuable skill.
It will serve you well throughout your life.

>tell me an useless skill

>tells an usefull skill

I can explain the universe

I can imitate accents, make all kinds of monster and animal sounds, and can make my voice very high-pitched, but I have a shitty microphone

So can I, user.
Pic related

Not at all useless.
My wife does that for a pretty decent living as a voice artist for film/tv.

I flirt with every girl I meet with even if I haven't seen their face. It turns me on knowing that I can get them interested even when I'm not. I also usually use this skill to get nudes.

I used this skill not to long ago when I messaged my ex gfs friends and got them all to send me nudes.

Pic related it's my Ex

this is not an impressive bend tbh

Bite my own toe nails

i am over 7 foot tall so i can do some wacky stuff

Oh shit man I’ve got my peeled toenails in my mouth, from my big toes, right now

I can get people turbo smashed

No joke, people called me a devil a couple of times.

...

I learned Japanese, but only at a level that lets me play easy porn visual novels. I can barely even speak or understand spoken language.

can fart using hands

I have extremely good luck, when I'm having a shitty day