What would fix "The Last Jedi"?

What would fix "The Last Jedi"?

A penis in the butt.

Killing every last star wars fan

Don't tell me I'm wrong.

Darth JarJar

zach galifinakis as luke because why not. wouldnt havemad a fucking difference tbh because the movie is a comedy. at least it would be more obvious if they casted comedians.

A less simple-minded, unimaginative, and whiny audience.

some good star wars porn

I wanted to see the pro-peace Imperials. It's not an accident the First Order is almost entirely made up of kids who don't even remember Endor.

The Last Jedi be like "Hi, I'm the last jedi.", oh, but what's this? Here's comes a penis, and it's going in the butt.

It should have been Poe to slam into Finn's speeder.
Instead of it being a dumb bitch putting herself in danger for the dicc it would have turned the scene into the moment Poe learns his lesson from the start of the film.

lukes character is nothing like he was before. it seemed more like mark hamill as "himself" than mark hamill as skywalker lol. blame the disney cucks for that. but yeah galifianakis would have made a good luke

This is how you would fix The Empire Strikes Back too.
Yoda'll be like "Use the force Luke!", oh, but what's this? It's a penis. ...and it's going in the butt. Yoda never had it so good.

I wasn't bothered by Luke being old and bitter.

I was bothered by the fact the First Order was SOMEHOW able to take over vast sections of the galaxy, having lost Starkiller Base.

What an ass-pull.

Remember at the end of Star Wars, when Luke blows up the death star?
A much better ending would have been Luke taking aim to fire those photon torpedoes.
Oh, but what's this?
It's a penis.
...and it's going in the butt.

That makes way more sense. But wouldn't he still be playing "hero" which was his original problem. I only really liked Poe's story but I feel like he didn't get a good resolution

Remember at the end of Harry Potter and the Seven Ghosts, where Harry Potter renounces Lord Voldemort, say he's not his real father?
What if, instead of that, we have him and Lord Voldemort face off, oh, but what's this?
It's a penis.
...and it's going in the butt.

...

Is it still canon that nearly half of the galaxy is difficult to get to?
I remember a map where the eastern half is basically unknown.

What's weird is that even though the First Order is basically the Neo-Nazi follow up the original Empire's regime they seem to have more resources. Starkiller base is a marvel compared to the original Deathstar, They have bigger ships and more troops. Maybe because the EMpirre controlled the entire galaxy they were more spread out so we didn't see their focused might like during the Force Awakens Starkiller Base Hux Speech scene

Remember at the end of Rogue One, where they've got to blow up this huge planet, but then princess Amidala has a nervous breakdown and says she can't make it?
Well, what if, instead of that, we have her on the virge of breakdown, firing her laser pistols, oh, but what's this?
It's a penis.
...and it's going in the butt.

I think the problem of playing "hero" would be okay in this scenario because the goal is to save life instead of destroy a First Order ship.
Intent is important, hell isn't that Rose's point too? I think it just makes a tiny bit more sense coming from Poe.

Yeah I agree with you on Poe's story. I like the idea of Leia grooming Poe as a leader but it needed one last little push to show us that he really learned his lesson on how to be a leader.
Him calling off the attack wasn;t really enough because he just hightails back himself leaving Finn to suicide. This doesn't feel Leader-like to me.

Yeah, but what if Rose hadn't been there in the first place? It would have turned out completely differently! If you think about it, which is better - the original version, or the one where a penis goes in the butt?

You've given me a lot to think about.
Well two things really, a penis and a butt.

The one where a penis goes in the butt.

It's ridiculous. Their limited resources are why they had to go to child soldiers, treat their equipment and pilots like they were precious, and why even the officers are pretty much young adults.

The First Order DOES NOT have the resources to conquer anything on a galactic scale. They can, however, pool their resources and hunt down the Resistance.

I think every movie is turning to child soldiers as a plot driving device nowadays. Just take Logan for example: They have all these children being experimented on, oh but what's this?
It's a penis.
...and it's going in the butt.
Don't tell me I'm wrong.

Less comedy, more focus on training and main characters...

A penis can be the main character.
More focus on it going in the butt.