Be me, working on my minecraft peaceful world

>Be me, working on my minecraft peaceful world
>mummy comes in, hands up in submission
>"a-user... It's time for your doctors appointment..."
>look her dead in the face
>"if you make me go to that jew Doctor I'm going to shit in your fucking bed."
>"now user, if you behave... I'll give you a triple Tendie meal from anywhere you want."
>sold, but resolve to give her as hard a time as possible to punish her for not just GIVING me the triple tendies for being her perfect little baby boy
>get in the car
>"oh boy mommy, I really do need to go to the docy docs! I am feeling so... Sick!"
>shit my big boy pants
>she screams at me to get out of the car so she can clean it, say no, docy docs now!
>she reluctantly drives me over, go inside office and wipe my shit on the Windows
>she apologizes, pays for damages and we wait for the doctor
>mommys shoe starts to dangle off her heel
>start jerking off
>mommy sees me and desperately whispers at me to stop before someone notices
>moan as loud as I can
>she's in tears now
>look her in the eye
>"Touch my cock, whore." I say loud enough for the whole room to hear
>she sobs loudly and shakes her head no
>pinch her nipple and twist until she agrees to gives me cummies
>Doctor calls me in, immediately call him a kike
>spend whole checkup farting, pissing, and belching strategically to ruin the doctors day
>checkup finally ends, mom is still sobbing
>"triple Tendie time now mummy!"
>lets out a louder sob and rushes to the car, me in pursuit
>"wh-where do you want tendies from, user?"
>tell her I want wendies tendies
>she takes me to wendies, and we discover, to her horror, that they only have nuggets now.
>REEEEEEEEE at her while pissing and punching myself
>she rushes me home and leaves me there, saying she'll be back soon with as many tendies as I can eat
>comes home 20 minutes later with 7 orders of Popeyes tendies
>smile and thank her
>she sighs with relief and decides to take a nap after her ordeal
>Left a surprise in her bed

>apoLOGizes

kekd

>be me
>be 500lb normie slayer
>wake up at 7 in the evening
>tummy growls for tendies and mountain dew
>screech at the top of my lungs
>then proceed to yell
>"THE NORMIE SLAYER HAS AWAKENED NOW HE MUST FEAST ON TENDIES"
>hear mommy sobbing
>I didn't ask for crying I asked for tendies dumb normie bitch
>"THE NORMIE SLAYER SHALL NOT WAIT, FOR HE IS A GOOD BOY"
>still hear mommy crying like a little bitch
>Thats it
>grab my pee and poo jar
>lay on my skateboard (my big bones are too heavy for me to walk)
>surf down the stairs and get a big owie
>now i start crying
>"MOMMY THIS IS YOUR FAULT YOU LAZY CUNT NOW YOUR BIG BOY IS HURT"
>sobbing gets louder
>bitch doesn't even come to give me kisses
>normie slayer is enraged
>stand up because of my anger strength
>knock down mommy's door
>bitch is screaming in fear
>YOU HAVE BEEN A BAD MOMMY, NOW YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY THE PRICE, PREPARE FOR THE PEE POO DICE"
>take off my diaper throw it at her face
>spin around and shit and piss everywhere
>mommy is begging for mercy
>too late bitch
>throw pee and poo bottle on her
>headshot
>glass breaks on her
>she's knocked out cold
>pick up a glass shard and stab her nipples
>she's bleeding from her head
>go to the freezer and grab all the tendies and stuff them in my folds of fat to warm
>crawl back up stairs to my dojo
>watch mlp for 5 hours while eating fat-thawed tendies
>finally decide to pick up the phone and call the 911 b/c I'm a good boy
>hear sirens approaching
I hope they take away my abusive mommy and give me a new tendie vendor

>poo
>shit

what in fuck is tendie?

kek'd, mind if i post this on r/greentext ?
chicken tenders

ah. UKfag here, i don't really know what that is.

Tender chicken, fried chicken without the bones.

cool, got it. thanks.

>wake up at 5pm with tummy grumbles
>been saving up my GBP to have a real tendy feast
>shuffle as fast as I can to mommy's room
>she's sitting in her chair looking at an old album of my baby photos and crying
>I break out in my favorite song
>"TENDIES ARE MY FAVORITE TREAT! NOW IT'S TIME FOR ME TO EAT!"
>she looks up dejectedly
>"A-user, I'm not really up for getting tendies right now. Can't we get them later?"
>can't believe what I'm hearing
>I even passed up getting Amiibos with my GBP in anticipation of this meal
>"MY INTESTINES ARE FULL AND MY ANUS IS WET! A DAY WITHOUT TENDIES IS A DAY YOU'LL REGRET!
>"Wait, user I-"
>I can see in her eyes that she already knows her words are too late
>"TENDIES WERE MY ONE DESIRE! NOW BEHOLD MY FECAL MIRE!
>liquid ex-tendies pour from my body and start to fill the room
>mommy's screams are drowned out by the caca-phony being emitted from my rumpus
>fast forward an hour and I'm eating all the Wendy's tendies my heart could desire

The key to dealing with normie moms is making sure that they know their place

>fecal
>caca

>Monday afternoon
>tugging it to Nick Jr all day long
>Finish squeezing big boy gooey gunk from my winker
>Mumsies comes home from work
>Poo poo in my diapie due to excitement
>Earned 70 good boy points earlier today by promising not to empty my piss bottles on mumsie's bed while she was at work
>Expect delicious tendies immediately
>Squat walk downstairs with full diaper of excitement
>No good smell
>Mumsie looks upset
>user you're 33, I talked with a friend about getting you a job
>Fucking normie mom
>Remove my shit filled diaper and wield it like a sling
>IM A GOD BOY I HAVE GOOD BOY POINTS GIVE ME CHICKEN TENDIES
>user please..
>IM DAVIE YOURE GOLIATH
>Swing my shit sling at her
>Diaper falls apart and flings wet sloppy big boy chocolate all over the room
>Ring of fecies whips her in the eye and she falls do the ground recoiling and grabbing her face
>Slap her open handed and squat over her face
>YOUR LACK OF TENDIES SEALS YOUR DOOM, I LOOSE MY BOWELS WITH A BOOM!
>Queue a huge wet fart bubble followed by a mexican mudslide in the rainy season
>Literally pours over her face like a generous helping of piping hot chili
>She wipes it off her face and tries to gasp for air
>Quickly plug her shit covered mouth with my still-erect big boy weenie peenie
>GIVE ME EXTRA GOOD BOY POINTS OR ELSE ILL CHOKE YOU MUMSIE
>She spasms and mumbles what might be a yes
>waddle back to my room and play some XBox
>Serves me tendies later while sobbing and promises to give me lots of good boy points
>mfw I put that bitch in her place
>mfw I always get my way.

>poo poo
>shit
>fecies
>bowels

>Tender chicken
lol uhh no, specifically a tenderloin, breaded and fried
TIL

>Be hanging out with my daki (Mikiru is best waifu)
>Mommy comes in and asks me if I want to go to Friendlys for a platter of tendies and some icy creamy
>Clap excitedly and rush to the car with Mikiru
>Sit in backseat with her, mommy gets to car and starts driving us to Friendlys
>Mikiru gets frisky and starts eyeing up my crotch
>Decide to give her a show
>Pull out my cock and start tugging it around
>Mikiru looks at it hungrily, cum on her face in a matter of seconds and scream
>Hear mommy sigh from front seat and mutter that she made a mistake
>Tell her it's okay,I love mommy and I can get her her OWN Daki
>She sighs, obviously with relief
>We get to friendlys, get out with mikiru and we order three plates of tendies and frenchies, thinking about what kind of Icy Creamy I'll get
>Mommy orders a glass water and some toast
>Asks for three slices instead of two
>Warn her not to go over board or new Chad Daddy might not like her flab flab
>Shes so grateful for my advice that her eyes start to water
>Me and Mikiru finish our tendies and mommy makes a comment about me not throwing stones
>She KNOWS I'm sensitive about my beautiful curves
>I control myself, but Mikiru is in love with me
>She lunges forward and attacks mommy for disrespecting her hubby
>Waitress comes over and grabs me
>Why grab me? Mikiru is the one hurting mommy!
>Realize... the waitress is in love with me too
>Lunge forward and start making out with her, Mikiru stops attacking mommy for some reason
>Waitress pushes me away, I knew I should have stuck with Mikiru
>Shit pants and start crying
>everyone in restaurant staring at us
>Manager man comes and says we have to leave
>Never got my icy creamy
>REEEEEEEEEEEE
>Go home with mommy, she's apologizing for ruining my night out
>Tell her that after TONIGHT, only a threeway with mikiru will make up for what she did
>Mommy starts sobbing tears of joy knowing that she can do something to make me forgive her
>mfw

are you retarded ?

>woof woof
>woof bork bork
>bork woofies borkies
>woofy bork woof
>BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORK
>WOOF WOOF WOOFIE WOOFY WOOF WOOF BORK
>woof bork woofie woof
>borky woof bork bork
>BORK BORK
>woof woofy
>borkie bork
>woof bork

>Be my birthday
>Mama got me the Littlest Pet Shop cake I wanted
>Get a card from grammy
>"Enjoy your birthday, sorry I couldn't be there sweety, I hope you can use this"
>A lot of weird green paper in there
>Mamas eyes get big
>Ask her what these are
>"It's money, I use it to buy your chicken and videogames"
>"Can I trade it for good boy points?"
>"Yes you can, of course you can"
>then new daddy walks into the room
>smells like smoke and adult apple juice
>slaps mamas butt
>sees the money
>"I need this for the poker game tonight"
>Mama says no, I traded it with her
>He slaps her faces butt now
>Mama screams
>I'm sitting there eating my cake
>Ask her when dinner is ready
>She says I gotta help her
>This FUCKING NORMIE
>ASKS ME
>TO HELP HER
>ON MY OWN BIRTHDAY
>take off all my clothes and jump on the table
>Press my willy in the cake and run to mama screaming at the top of my lungs flailing my arms
>hit mama in the belly
>hear a loud oomf
>new daddy looks at me
>I look at him
>I get down on my knees and grab his crotch
>he goes back and asks me what I'm doing
>I just wanted to show him I can be mama too
>Run at him and bite him in his crotch
>even though he wore pants he dropped to the ground crying
>now everyone was crying
>my diaper has been full the whole time
>put some cake in diaper since mama isnt changing it and feed it to new daddy
>new daddy never came back after the poker game
>mama made me fresh chicken tendies with a side of pizza that night
>she didn't even charge my good boy points
>best 40th birthday ever

REEEEEE NORMIE GET THE FUCK OUT REEEEE!!

This stuff is starting to get boring

>Mom gets off work early without calling first
>Finds me in the pantry emptying my poop jug into the cat's litter box
>Starts yelling at me, saying that I'm fucking disgusting
>Tell her that it's all her fault for breaking up with my dad when I was six
>She tells me that I need to be an adult
>Cry and scream and even throw my shit jug at her
>She says that from now on I have to go to bed before midnight
>Tell her to fuck off and go to my room
>Don't go to bed because it's fucking bullshit and I'm not a god damn wage slave
>She opens the door flat out at like one AM and is really pissed
>Tries to push me away from the computer, but I'm too heavy
>I start yelling at the top of my lungs
>She rips my computer tower out of the wall and takes it up to her room
>Knows I'm too fat to climb the stairs and thinks shes won
>Lay down at the bottom of the stairs and scream until my throat hurts
>Still no computer
>She goes to work the next day
>Wake up at like 3 PM and no computer
>Bitch has fucking overstepped her boundaries now
>Go into the bathroom and lift top off toilet tank so I can shit in it
>Sitting on tank and begin to turtle-head when I get an idea
>Pucker up my ass and waddle into the kitchen
>Take huge shit in the microwave and set the timer for three hours
>Mom comes home an hour later and the whole house fucking reeks
>She's screaming about a fire in the kitchen
>Can hear her crying for hours and even hear firemen stamping around
>Later that evening she comes in sobbing
>Sets up my computer tower for me
Flawless victory

Then why are u here?
U cock gobbling queer.

>Be masturbating to family photos of my mom when she was in middle school
>Mommy comes in and sees
>Asks me to stop
>Stand up, still masturbating (Slowly, dont want to cum yet, but dont wanna have to start over)
>Explain that incest was just invented by normies to make it harder for robots to get laid, and that only a fucking freak wouldn't be attracted to viable pussy when available
>She sighs and leaves
>finally able to finish up, want some spaghetti
>Go downstairs and see mommy in kitchen
>Cooking roast chicken
>Screech at her and ask why she didn't make spaghetti
>Her answer is the final straw
>"What? You didn't ask for spaghetti."
>Lunge at her and kick the shit out of her
>Shit on her whore face when she's down
>As she lays there, her pants ride up quite a lot
>See her ass clearly through her pants
>Mutter "Only a freak wouldn't be attracted to viable... viable pussy..."
>Don't want to lose virginity yet (saving for my highschool friend who I haven't spoken to in 17 years, still holding out hope we'll meet again and she'll have stayed pure for me too)
>Jerk off onto her ass instead, write a note on the white wall of the kitchen in my own shit
>"Spaghetti. One hour. Or next time, I'll do it worse, then kill myself and blame you in the suicide note."

kys faggot, we goddamned hate you.

...

fuck off newfag.

Double Sixxs logged

>be me
>playing club penguin trying to hook up with bitches
>my mum comes in and says that after I lost her her job I should get a part time job
>I tell her to fuck off
>she sighs
>"I-i-t's okay, user. It's not your fault you're special."
>Stupid bitch. Why does everyone need to tell me that?
>Ffwd 1 month later
>now she just wears really red lipstick, fishnets and short skirt and goes upstairs every night with a male friend to play 'games' with a locked door.
>lying bitch, how can we still be poor and she can still play around?
>sometimes I hear beating and her crying.
>note to self: buy noise-cancellation headphones with GBP.
>my tummy is hungry
>I go upstairs and knock on the door
>"MUMMY YOUR BEST BOY IS HUNGRY. I WANT TENDIES."
>no answer
>I put my ear against the door
>hear them exercising
>faggots must have put in earpiece and listening to music
>no one fucks with my tendies
>go to backyard
>climb up tree outside mummy's window
>am big-boned but tendies motivate me
>see their silhouette behind curtain
>he's helping her do sit ups
>I am Enzio Auditore
>swing like pendulum and crash through window
>I roll gracefully and crash into mummy's drawer
>don't know why they're not wearing clothes, it's not that hot
>her friend is spilling mayonnaise on her face
>her male friend goes wtf
>he storms out and says he'll never "spend money on a stupid whore again"
>mummy just sits there and cries
>I bang on my chest and scream "I WANT TENDIES"

Tfw when she already left cooked tendies on the dining table before all that.