Can I get some plot ruining spoilers for the Last Jedi?

Can I get some plot ruining spoilers for the Last Jedi?

I want to completely ruin it for some people because, I'm a dick like that.

Help me out.

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youtube.com/watch?v=Mdm8rpv045U
youtube.com/watch?v=FntZKz9fXp8
youtube.com/watch?v=LPsRp7uUXUk
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There's more Jedi, the title is a lie.

Luke dies.
Kylo kills Snoke.
Akbar dies.

Will those ruin it for people?

Luke loses his hammer, then loses his eye later in the story, but learns that he can control lightning

OP is gay

Probably not. There's not really anything important that happens to the entire storyline, honestly. Rey's family doesn't get revealed, people are introduced and then die, Luke dies but he's old anyway so who cares. Really nothing happened other than Snoke dying so now Kylo wants to be supreme ruler but he's still a petulant child.

Princess Leia in first 1/4 of movie gets bombed and shot out into space...

And then she immediately turns into superman and flies through space back to her ship.

Not even kidding.

Also half the movie is just one big slow chase scene and all the rebels except for like... 12 die. All offscreen.

Oh and Yoda shows up as a puppet.

you are a petty little shit

...

Jedi is singular or plural

...

I wish this was real

I think Kylo forced push her ass back.

The biggest spoiler is that the movie was horrible.

The only people I've seen complain about the movie who actually saw it aren't familiar with Star Wars.

what can't the the force do?

Rey's parents are nobodies and are never shown, Phasma, Luke, and Snoke die.(Snoke by Ren) Luke's saber is split in half, and a ship goes to light speed through another ship.

If you think that Leia using the Force to survive in space and pull herself back is ridiculous then you've obviously never read much into the previously canon Expanded Universe shit.

The force can do literally anything theoretically.

the film is bad, and disney should feel bad for ruining the franchise just for the $u$z.

If you think it "ruined" anything you're retarded.

Nothing you do can make the experience of watching it any worse

The whole sub plot with Finn and Rose is a waste of time. If you plan on renting it on disc later just skip all that filler nonsense.

Stop when Phasma shows up so you can see her get Boba Fett'd.

The new movies aren't perfect but they're still arguably better than the prequels. Granted the prequels were a tad more original at least but that didn't make them any better.

this

TLJ is way more creative and original than any of the prequels and as much of a rehash TFA is it's still miles ahead of EP1 and 2. The prequels are pretty much carried on the back of Ewen as Obi-Wan.

What are you? a fucking force scientist?

The movie is full of scenes than dont have any scent

this thread instantly got my attention.

>Allah Akbar dies.

The force is a mystical constant that's effectively "god" and the collective of every dead force user. It's also a built in plot device. In the EU it got fucking retarded where you had people moving black holes with the force and Sheev using force storm to destroy a planet or ancient Sith Lords draining every living being on a planet of their life force.

Obi-Wan in ANH and then Yoda in Empire straight up say it's in everything and all around. It's not an internal ability, jedi and sith learn to manipulate the force around them not create it out of thin air. This was well before the EU or the prequels or the new trilogy.

Star Wars is one of the gayest francise since early 1970's, possibly shittier than Star Trek

I'm so happy Luke Gaywalker dies.

Yoda came back from the dead and created a fucking thunderstorm out of nowhere to set a tree on fire, yeah I'm pretty sure the Force can theoretically do anything.

i liked tfa, but tlj ruined it for me. they shouldn't have switched directors. i like jj abrams since the new star strek movies..

Becoming one with the force and being actually dead are pretty different. Basically you're at one with the force in total bliss (it's supposed to be like achieving nirvana or whatever) but occasionally you get turned into a force apparition which is like being alive except you can't die and just go back to being with the force.

Kaiser Sose is the cripple.

Kylo Ren and Rey use Force-Skype and chat throughout the movie.

Rey starts off hating him but eventually they develop a bond. She thinks she can turn him back to the Light while he thinks he can turn her to the Dark Side.

She boards his ship with the intent of turning him back but Kylo Ren turns her over to Snoke.

It's revealed that Snoke gave them the power of Force-Skype in order to gain information, mainly the location of Luke. Snoke orders Kylo Ren to kill Rey and fulfill his destiny, but Kylo Ren kills Snoke instead and gives Rey back the blue lightsaber.

Now onto the best scenes in the movie. They team up and fight off the red guards. She wants Kylo Ren to join the Resistance while he wants her to join him and rule the Galaxy.

Oh, and Rey is a literal nobody. Her parents sold her for drinking money. The Light Side of the Force is stong with her to counter the Darkness in Kylo Ren.

That CGI looks terrible. It rivals Justice League.

Rians other films are hard edged movies. I was really fucking disappointed that this was basically a 'prequels' level kids film.

As per the gif above there are a Few striking visual sections, but fuck that ending with the little catalogue model kid looking up to the sky.... If i didnt know of the director and youd told me chris columbus directed it i'd have believed you.

Because it's a chinese cam. Of all the problems TLJ has looking bad isn't one of them.

source please?

No. Watching this film is actually worse than anything you could do.

All this movie does is try to have the fans 'let go' of the past and embrace the future.

The past being nothing but white men with lead roles.

The future being womenz, nigs, and chinks.

Oh not to mention all the dead ends they throw in your face.
>Who is Snoke?
lol he dead now, too bad
>Who is Rays parents?
lol random drunks dead under jakku
>What about Luk-
ded

It's Kylo's movie who's a white male.

jewtube: youtube.com/watch?v=Mdm8rpv045U

its not canon if its not on film dumbass.

also the chink breathing out in space with no helmet in the beginning while dropping bombs was fucking retarded. a 5 year old wrote this script for sure

well summed up user

What do you mean well summed up? The whole movie is about Luke and you just gloss over it.

lmao luke was fan service. he served absolutely no purpose other than to ghost into a fight scene at the end. they dumbed him down so much. felt like he didnt even want to be in the film.

Literally the main conflict of the movie is Luke being a bitter old man and not wanting to train anyone until Yoda has to slap some sense into him then he does what Obi-Wan did for him.

Shutup Disney Cuck you know that Jewsney fucked the whole thing.

the main conflict of the film is the rebels are about to become space dust if someone doesnt rescue their asses

dude they disneyed the fuck out of the movie. its completely unrecognizable as star wars anymore

cute animals popping up every 5 minutes
cute animal jokes every 10 minutes
slap stick humor
huge gaping continuity errors

Not really since they all get fucking owned pretty much immediately. The episode films are about the Skywalker family. TLJ is about Luke, then Kylo then Rey (because of her relation to Luke and Kylo she doesn't really have importance on her own) then Poe, Finn, Hux and Rose are supporting characters.

Didn't have to see it to know this they set that shit up in the FART AREEKENS

The Before the Last Jedi Advertising for the fucking toys shows how much Jewsney is abusing the ownershit of the IP on Startwars.

Fuck their games Fuck their Movies.

Are you retarded and underage? Star Wars was always doing that. Part of why it got so big is because people kept buying toys.

Damn. Actually got teary eyed. Good guy Mark Hamill.

Dude that's always been. But the reason we buy the toys is because we love the movies and story.

Does anyone have the pic of Leia in space doing coke?

no they didnt. they all got owned at the end. which was also beyond retarded. hur durr we couldnt see all the life vessels leaving the ship directly in front of us. thanks for the tip benicio del toro!

yup. the entire movie just keeps setting up animal creatures so they can sell them as toys. stupid ugly af CGI that looks like a disney cartoon layered on top of an actual film

Where were you the last 30 years?

No, I knew all of this before seeing the movie and it didn't ruin it for me at all.

this. why do you think the fkn Ewoks turned up?

all they did was copy john carter. this movie was literally john carter 2. they even copied the desert scene right out of john carter lmfao. disney is so fucking retarded

theyve never had this many animals in any of their films. a new species of 'cute animal' would pop up every 5 minutes

Have you been tested for autism?

Creative? Why?
>it had no real plot
>idiot and childish anti-funny scenes
>loads of basic movie clichés
>scenes stolen from almost every star wars movie before
>the so called rebellion is bunch of woman from every race
>that scene with Leia supermaning!!!?? OMG

I will stop here but I could write a book about how many shit this movie had.
Just got home from the cinema and it was the biggest movie disappointment of my life.
Worst star wars movie ever...

anyone else notice how terrible the choreography in the red room was? saw several moments where guards were just standing there waiting to be beaten up lmao

agreed.

dont forget the chink in the beginning breathing in fucking outer space as shes dropping the bombs. that was right in the beginning of the film. went in completely neutral and in the first 10 minutes i knew it was gonna be a cringe fest

>nk that Leia using the Force to survive in space and pull herself back is ridiculous then you've obviously never read much into the previously canon Expanded Universe shit.

The problem is not that she did it, the problem is why did they put this scene in the movie, it serves absolutely no purppose, weakens the movie coherence, make everybody go "WTF" and only increases the hate factor against the movie

Yeah I felt the same but right after the intercom "joking" with General Hux and Poe...
And what about the whole fact of some ships destroying a new "out of nowhere" destroyer 4 times bigger than a Stardestroyer?

do you guys have the gif with the RED FUCKING GUARD fucking up the fight w/ Ren?

not to mention the fact that it defies science. her blood shouldve been frozen and brain dead from lack of oxygen. even if she was the strongest force user ever. she had already frozen before she started using the force lmfao. shes human. not a metahuman from a dc comic


omg the com part make me cringe so hard. im like...are they really cracking jokes with the first order right now....

and the destroyer thing..didnt they learn their lesson from all the hate the third death star got? they really went there again? holy fuck they stupid


havnt seen that gif but i noticed it in the movie and said WHAT THE FUCK? HORRIBLE choreography. at one point i saw someone literally just stop moving so he could wait to get his ass beat. i need this gif!

Chewbacca and Rey get it on...

Chewbacca kills bb8 because he is a spy

I'm also so bored of the Falcon...a dozen of fighters are chasing them so they go into a tunnel in a ship with the shape of a giant pizza, but fortunately they don't even scratch the Falcon a bit...
>The first order fighters that are much smaller?
THEY GOT CRASHED

leia dies in space at the begining of the movie, everything else is a last dream

anyone got a shot where this bitch hyperdrives the ship into snokes star destroyer? this scene was actually fkn neat

If it wasn't previously considered canon then they wouldn't have come out with a big ass statement before TFA came out specifically decanonizing everything but the movies and the Clone Wars animated series

Luke becomes one with the force
Kylo kills snoke
Kylo decides he wants to become kim jung un

>you can literally see him go through the five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance

Snoke kills Luke
Rey loses an eye
Poe and Finn are totally gay for each other
Rose is a spy
Leia dies at the same time Luke does

youtube.com/watch?v=FntZKz9fXp8

Go watch it you lazy stupid faggot

better than the real thing

I don't think that's what happens there.
It's shock and disbelieve and than anger he locks at the director, thinking "you little shit".
or something like that

*...then anger as he looks...

youtube.com/watch?v=LPsRp7uUXUk
here he´s sumarizing the plot pretty good that should help you

Someone please post the Leia coke gif. Google doesn't have it.

what plot?

Titty milk

This is how she should have died