Be american

>be american
>get blackout drunk off a 6 pack of coors light

>be american
>go to the bar
>have pints of coors light
>talk about the weather for 3 hours
>everybody sings the pledge of allegiance then go home

>americans are able to get drunk off of water

How what's your secret burgers?

>leafposting

>be canadian
>hungry after a night of drinking
>gets full of 1 burger, small fries and a coke

t-tttake that canucks

Did someone say blacked?

I drank 5 7.00% (all 12 oz.) and 2 7.23% (16 oz) and 2 7.23% (12 oz) this evening and I'm still typing with you twats.

That's cute.

>be american
>microwave your beers

Oh please, Canadians and Americans are the same thing. If you make fun of us you're making fun of yourselves.

Can you math?

Americans can outdrink Canadians tbqh.

>be American
>can't drink until 21
>big day arrives, you survived 21 years without being shot/having cardiac arrest/thrown into prison in orange jumpsuit
>decide to have first beer (bud light in a red plastic cup)
>drive automatic car to walmart
>senile man greets you upon entrance
>pick up 6 pack of bud light and plastic cups
>go home and drink
>"golly gee this sure is swell, I'm glad I waited pop"
>pass out and piss yourself

Well, how accurate was I?

Americans drink underage all the time, Seamus.

I don't understand, do you think we don't have strong beer or something?

made me chuckle

>be american working full time with kids
>can't buy a drink because you're only 20

>be american
>wear light beers in the shower

>drinking cold beer

>the king of American beers is actually water mixed with Belgian piss

>Buying beer at a walmart

haha joke's on you can't do that in my state or my neighboring state

where am I suppose to put them when I shower? On the counter? Ha you down under folk are real funny

>wife is American
>twice my size
>she gets drunk off of three beers
>I've gone through half a bottle of vodka and kahlua and I'm just getting buzzed

Granted I'm an alcoholic and my body's used to it, but God damn. Americans really can't hold their liquor.

I would probably drink myself to death if my wife was 300 pounds as well. Sorry man. She's probably just diabetic at this point.