Cheapest suicide ever:

Cheapest suicide ever:
Put earplugs in nostrils, duck tape own mouth closed, soffocate

Why has no one ever tried this?

only for genious

I tried it on myself one time and I could confirm that it really does work in killing yourself!

Awesome! I'm going to try it and report results later.

>Go to the store
>Buy earplugs
>Buy duct tape
>Walk home
>Forget I can hang myself with a curtain drawstring

lots of people have tried it.

for some reason, none of them posted about it afterwards.

>duck tape own mouth
use a real duck, it'll work then

You think thats sturdy enough?

Sorry duct

jesus christ how weak are your lungs

What are real ways? I would shoot myself but I was caught by the cops and my gun was taken from me two weeks ago and I was admitted to the mental hospital for three days. But I still want to die.

Wow. I just tried it and it worked. Thanks for the tip!

Im actually not retarded

Once you pass out, i dont thing you would be able to blow out the plugs unconsciously

you fail so hard at life that you can't even kill yourself

Death Doctors HATE HIM! Here's why. .

We're talking about an average, out of shape, sedentary Sup Forums user here.

i have a bottle of pills that will kill me
too much of a pussy to take them

go outside into the cold night and gradulay remove clothing. once you stop shivering its decision time youll fall asleep and die. i would keep gloves and shoes on though because frostbite

It was originally duck tape. It's pretty shit for most leakage so "duct" tape is a misnomer.

Because duct tape can peel off your face insanely easily, especially when your survival instinct kicks in and your try to break the seal with your tongue, and the earplugs would be easy to shoot out your nose before you could actually suffocate.

your reflex before you passed out though would surely shoot them across the fucking room. Stopping yourself from gasping would be insanely hard.

For the people in this thread looking to kill themselves, I just want to say don't waste your life.

Jump onto a train, go miles away. Give yourself a new beginning.

literally just push your tongue back down your throat, and youll choke to death. even with your hands free youll most likely die

I'm suicidal because of my crippling fear of trains and other locomotives...

easy use superglue
youll feel like neo

Alright, can't argue with that, you got me.

or yknow you could jump off of a building for fucking free

be gay and in the middle east then you wont even have to expend any energy doing so

forgot pic

duck tape fucking sucks

there was that guy who pounded down as much sulfuric acid as he could as fast as he could

Holy fucking kek that would be hilarious to watch. Bonus points if he coated his insides with a counteragent first and then smashed that shit.

Ok, op here, different suicide method:
Put a water bottle up to your mouth, but instead of drinking, you squish the bottle and breathe in. Your lungs get filled with water and you drown.

How to cough like a bitch 101

I bet you i could do it

Go on then faggot. I fucking dare you.

you'd obviously have to wrap the tape around your entire head and seal in the plugs as well

Jumping is too quick, i would want to savor my death

>get a funnel
>get a bottle of strong liquor
>shove funnel up butt
>pour the whole bottle of liquor in funnel
>die of alcohol poisoning

Alcohol poisoning takes too long

Alcohol poisoning takes too long, hard liquor is expensive

go to the middle east and get beheaded with a dull knife or get burned to death over there

dont think theyre gonna let you decide though

>>Cheapest

Nigga ever heard of a cliff?

great news guys it totally worked. the first two minutes were the hardest.

>Alcohol poisoning takes too long, hard liquor is expensive

Cause that'll matter

>they dont go out in a blaze of glory killing all the corrupt people ruining the world
i dont get why suicidal people dont do this, atleast die a hero

best free way for us nurses.

>Be nurse
>Go into fridge and get insulin
>comes in vial of 300 units.
>inject 100 units (1cc) of insulin subQ
>enough to kill non diabetic several times over
>fall asleep and die.

Why not inject all 300 units and be an absolute fucking boss?

fucking hell even in suicide you worry about the right dosage

i mean you could... but 3cc under your skin hurts. its a big bubble.

not so much right dosage just a nice round number.

the most we normally give patients at once is about 10 units or .1 cc that normally brings their sugars down from 450 to 200s

10x that amount is more than enough to kill you and you wont even feel it.

death by cop is free with the right looking stick

Couldn't you get multiple syringes and just shoot up fucktonnes of the shit and see how fast you die. Your coworker who discovers your body would be impressed

going into a sugar shock wouldn't be painful?

Probably because it's pretty difficult for someone to just sit there and let themselves suffocate. I imagine it's also pretty cheap to just fill the kitchen sink with water and then stick your head under there until you drown. Give that a try and see how easy it is. Cheap doesn't mean easy.