>be me >be doctor >shaking around a jar of pickled snakes because im a doctor >priest comes into see me with a young wench >"Good Doctor, my daughter is suffering from urges of the flesh, would you please cure her?" >"I, the town doctor shall cure your wretch of a daughter by the end of the week! she shall come to my office and i shall cure her!" >beat the daughter with a crow on a stick as to ward off any evil spirits and instruct him to do the same thrice a day
>later on a woman and her son enter my doctors office while i am in the process of setting up a crab fight >beat the woman for interrupting my research >"m-m'lord, my son wants to become a doctor ,his father is an alcoholic and i cannot work" >actually feel sorry for the boy >beat the woman with a pickled snake for making me pity her >beat the boy for good measure >"FINE! woman, you have convinced me to take on this boy, come now lad! we will begin your doctors training!" >first day went well, the boy could make potions and elixirs like no other >second day i instruct him to put pickled snakes up his ass. not because it was training, it was for research because im a doctor >day three it is his final test >take him to cure the girl from earlier, who was suffering with urges >shes sat naked waiting for treatment >my apprentice leaves the room >allofmynay.parchment >he returns with a crow on a stick >beats her into a coma >ive never been so proud of someone in my life >we are doctors
>be doctor >polishing my badass doctors stick >woman comes in with retarded child >beat bot of them for disturbing my polishing >beat them again for making me have to polish my badass cane again >"me'lud, me son is suffering from fits of the limbs and wont stop shaking and gnashing his teeth >"i shall cure your son! bring me three silver pieces per treatment and i promise you on my doctors honour that i shall cure him" >boy begins seizing and chattering his teeth >ihaveanidea.scroll >"woman, treatments starts immediately, leave and return in an hour, bring your boy back every week for two months and he shall be cured" >bitch leaves >boy is still seizing and chattering >pick him up by the legs >use him and his chattering teeth to clip my lawn >i am a doctor
Ayden Brooks
>be plague doctor >man comes to be covered in buboes >beat him for getting too close >one of his buboes pops >thatskindafun.parchment >keep prodding his boils >he keeps popping like ye olde bubble wrap >demand his daughter as payment >tell him he is cured >hes not listening as he is already dead from bloodloss >carry on popping his boils anyway >i am a doctor
Jackson Taylor
Screencap, pls
Isaiah Carter
>be doctor >shaking pickled snake in a jar >bored as no one is ill today >get frustrated and throw pickled snake in a jar out of the window >hear a scream from outside >look out of window to see that pickled snake has hit a man >"THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR THE DOCTOR! DO NOT FEAR GOOD CITIZENS" >Beat some of the good citizens for standing too close to me >check on man who was hit by pickled snake >hes dead >ohshit.parchment >bored again >go back to office >take pickled crab out of cupboard and start shaking it >i am a doctor
Kayden Gomez
>"use his chattering teeth to clip my lawn
fucking kek
Nicholas Rivera
Put me in screencap please, ive never been on creepsworks
John Lee
bumping for more keks
i like these threads
Austin Torres
Holy shit lol
Liam Murphy
>bump >i am a doctor
Ian Martinez
All of these made me chuckle my sides off
Dylan Richardson
>be doctor >patient comes in with a severe case of chuckling sides >reccommend he drink 3 liters of oil while upside down and naked >he thanks me, chuckles and leaves >he trips and falls down the stairs >i begin chuckling >ohshit.etching >bastard gave me the chuckling sides >beat him to death while chuckling >i am the chuckling doctor
Noah King
>i am doctor >trying to wrap a snake around a stick to ward off evil spirits >faggot lord calls me to his throne room >cantyouseeimbusybeingadoctor.parchmenent >as i enter his faggot throne room i can see qt3.14 lord daugther >o'lord.erection >doctor clothes hide erect dickle >asks what the problem is >says daughter refuses to marry a prince and is hurting the family's honor >lol >daughter says shes a lesbian >fear not, doctor is here and will cure daughter of evil demons of homosexuality >bring her to a closed room >only qt and me >its time >beat her with stick with a snake >shes in a coma >cant refuse sex from prince >lord thanks me with a bigger doctor office filled with all the doctor stuff i could ever want >even gives me a scarier mask >i am doctor
Jordan Young
>sitting in office stroking my beak >i am best doctor in town >because biggest scariest beak >a man walks in >"doctor help a mad dog bit my leg and hurts" >tell peasant to rub pickled snake juice on the wound >cured in a second, i really am best doctor >beat peasant with crow stick for good measure >week later >stroking beak in office >man comes back >"doctor leg is not good" >shows leg >it is all black >I am smart doctor >diagnosis you're turning into a nigger >beat nigger with a stick >no niggers allowed in office >man stops moving after the beating >a good nigger is a dead nigger >cured >I am good doctor
Blake Wright
...
Cameron Ward
>be Doctor >called to kings throneroom for another pickled snake treatment >cant find any pickled snakes >ohshit.parchment >hear noise outisde door >find legions of pickled snakes that are on strike >pickled snakes refusing to work anymore due to inhumane conditions
Im a doctor and i need help, what do other doctors?
William Russell
You not have big enough beak
Jose Russell
Include me in the screencap
Austin Sanchez
stop being faggots pls its embarrasing
Jack Long
bump
Kayden Brooks
kek
Alexander Thomas
i see you need a bumper sticker in here
Jacob Peterson
Hey guys, what's going on in this thre-
Zachary Campbell
bumping for a doctor to cure my ailments
Ryan Harris
kek
Carter Ward
>be me >be doctor >naked guy comes in >he's holding a wooden bowl >taking stick with nicely braided crow intestine at its end in preparation >"Who dis?" >fucker proceeds to pee on me with leg raised up >whatintarnation.hyeroglyph >dude tells me he needs the cure to the disease called greed >tells me he needs it for everyone else >kek >proceed to give the traditional stick beating >dude thanks me for giving >gave a beating >thanked me >kek >proceed to give more beating >guy thabks more >tell fker this is the cure to greed >give fker a stick >he thanks and tells me he needs to go home first >he enters one of my barrels >he picks up a dead featherless chicken >proceeds to beat it with stick >keeps caliming it is a person >kinda shell shocked at this point >"Pls who dis?" >"Diogenes" >"Do u even timeline" >"Time is a human construct" >guy runs out and beats entire village with stick >suddenly I have a shit ton of customers >i am doctor
Hunter Watson
My sides, they have gone
Alexander Brooks
Someone please compile this. See you all on reddit
Alexander Jones
smarter than this thread is worth
Hunter Cook
>i am doctor >writing ingredient shopping list before next appointment >woman barges into office >"doctor help, i think am dying " >beat woman for barging in >beat her once more for speaking loudly >had so much fun i forgot why she is here >"calm yourself. what ails ye, wench?" >"am covered in pustules and skin is falling off" >take a look >bythegods.scroll >decaying skin and yellowing boils >"Here apply pickled snake juice on wounds" >wench asks how soon it will heal >knock upon the door >"doctor I require urgent healing!" >slap the wench silly for such questions >"do not worry dear wench," >"FOR I HAVE LOTS OF PATIENTS" >beat her for being so hasty >boot her out my office >"next patient, please" >i am doctor
Kayden Garcia
Check'd n Kek'd
Dylan Ward
TO BE FAIR.....
Christian Wright
not funny
Adam Evans
it looks like you need some stick beating >i am a doctor
Kevin Lewis
Perhaps a good cure is what you need my dear lad Have ye been to the doctor lately?
Matthew Powell
i am regularly beaten with throbbing wood mostly around the face and anus does wonders
Camden Edwards
i need that treatment too
Joshua Reed
Put me in the screencap
Cooper Scott
Then as a doctor, I suggest ingesting toad droppings Helps with the sanity issues you're experiencing >i am doctor
Cameron Jenkins
>be me >be towns only doctor >peasents show up at my door in droves covered in boils >spray peasants with freezing water >peaseants thank me and leave. >half the peasents come back next day >accuse me of killing the othet peasents > beat the current peasenents with snake stick >they all fall to floor >they all walk the dinosaur >i am a doctor.handwrittenmanuscript
Robert Turner
and you never will faggot
Cameron Morgan
Fuck I missed these, but if some fag does a screen, put me in
Joseph Davis
Beat them with pickled crabs
Aaron Anderson
>be me >Sweet medieval doctor with scary mask >Beating local dog in filthy peasant town >Overhear commotion in next street >Observe disgusting peasant townfolk arguing over which daughter shall be raped next >typicalgermany.lute >Beat peasants out of my way with my pointy doctor stick >"I, the amazing doctor, will solve this!" >Peasants look in awe of my spooky doctor mask and scary cloak >Pull out dead rat from my sexy doctor bag >Proclaim that whoever can keep rat in their dress longest shall win the raping >Small, young wench approaches >She smells so bad I almost throw up in my doctor mask >soerect.parchment >"I'll do it m'lord" >Two days later town are angry that she caught the plague >Hand me rat back and say it caused it >Convince them she was a witch and I did them a favour >Stupid plebians believe me >Pay me sweet medieval Bitcoin >Buy even pointer stick >I am greatest doctor
Cameron Thomas
Top kek
Andrew Parker
>even gives me a scarier mask I lost
Chase Ward
>Be rich doctor >Have pointiest doctor stick in land >Playing with dead frogs in my doctor room >Some Lord faggot enters my Chambers >Can't beat him because he knows the king but I really want to >"The king wishes to see you, doctor." >duck.byzantinechapel >Go and see fag king >Tells me the stupid bitch I killed was his daughter >Tells me all of his guards are now sick >Says I must be drawn and quartered on the morrow >The sheer thought of this sends shivers through my body >But I'd rather not die so tell him without me, the best doctor, his faggot guards can't be cured >King reluctantly agreed but says I must cure them all for free >imnotafuckingcharity.trebuchet >Hauled back to Chambers and faggot guard sent in >He's foaming at the mouth and spewing blood all over my spooky doctor cloak >ihavenoideahowtofixthis.cataphracht >Collect mouth foam for later research and tell him to place mound of dirt in mouth before he sleeps. >Tell all the other faggot guards to do the same >Collect all their foam too >After long day of doctoring I bathe my dead rats in foam >iaminheaven.rapier >Mfw all guards die in their sleep >Mfw king can't have me killed because all guards are dead >Mfw when he kicks me out >Mfw when I realise I haven't beaten a single peasant with glorious doctor stick >Throw a rat in town well for the fun of it >yourproblemnow.veniciancloth >I am a doctor
Dylan King
Shit man, this is awesome, someone screencap this. I'm getting the urge to draw all of these into short comics
Ian Long
>Be homeless doctor >Roaming lands because faggot king kicked me out >Carriage passes >It is another doctor >His mask is far scarier than mine >"Doctor" he says, "come with me, the next town requires a double doctoring." >whathefuckishetalkingabout.verulanium >Don't want to appear stupid so agree and hitch a ride to town >On arrival, peasants are beating each other with rocks >definitelypoland.vomitorium >Other doctor takes me to large hall filled with bodies >"They are all sleeping but cannot awaken due to their humor deficiency!" >These people are definitely dead >Other doctor fag is pissing me off so I tell him I am a humor expert and will cure them all. >Faggot doctor leaves >I stack all the bodies together >Set them on fire >The stench is foul so huff many special doctor herbs I keep in my spooky beak >The flames rise high and soon the hall is ablaze >Get the fuck outta there and run into other doctor >"What did you do? You were meant to cure them?!" He cries >Tell him that a lack of Mortimers Magnesium meant I could not do it >He doesn't want to admit he can't prove I'm lying so agrees >I go and tell the king he set his great Hall on fire >King throws him in jail >I steal his extra scary doctor mask >King pays me large amount of medieval Bitcoin for my troubles >Buy a large castle >I am the doctor
> be doctor > wench walks in with 18y daughter. Both 10/10 qtpy > boner.runes > mi. Milord I caught nteresting daughter fingering herself > show me doctor needs to see > also need comparison from nother > also give garlic snake juice libido enhancer > leave then for half hour > orgasm.parchment > beat them for cumming with snake on sick > fuck both of them and give them cum elixi > tell both they needed to come back every day to get treatment. > beat then again for good measure > am doctor.
Henry Robinson
Poor effort
Jason Cook
>be doctor >busy chopping snakebits, never enough snake bits >man comes in >doctor, mine eyes be sick >beat him with traditional crow stick for interrupting my work >treatment for eyes require healthy eyes >take pig eyes from eye jar >fed patient with pig eyes >patient come back everyday for a week >patient eyes got better >whatthehell.papyrus >only wanted to get rid of eye jar
Sebastian Reed
>user goes on anonymous image board >user begs to be put on screen-cap for recognition Not even the plague doctor could cure a retardation as serious as yours.
Camden Campbell
>be doctor >stroking beak while shaking pickled snake jar >door swings open as a deformed thing enters >whatingod'sname.tapestry >was going to cure him with marvelous crow stick >man looked like he was already cured by 999 crowstick >cure him anyway >become 1000th doctor to cure him >he's on the floor not moving >he's spazzing out all over my new rug >cureshimagain.scroll >throw frog brain at him to be safe >I am doctor
Xavier Baker
>be me >be doctor >be bored >shaking my jar of pickled snakes whilst stroking by beak >fat woman bursts in, clearly with child >she requires help for birthing her child >aboutfuckingtimesomethinghappens.canvas >lay her down on table, tell her to lift up her dress >average vulva, seen better >after a couple hours, baby comes out >somethingisclearlywrong.parchment >tell the fat wench I have good news and bad news >tells me she wants bad news first >"it be black" >asks for good news >"it be dead" >pickle the baby for research because I am a doctor >beat woman with crow stick for birthing a niglet and wasting my time >I am a doctor
Owen Williams
Please someone compile or archive this shit. Its amazing
Adrian Diaz
Im compilling them, i also want to draw them
Connor Brown
snf.. this.. this was... beautiful.
Nicholas Phillips
>be doctor >collecting leeches near pond >wench sees me and asks what I'm doing >beat wench for interupting >beat wench for being woman >beat wench for asking question >beat wench for good measure >"what do you want wench" >wench asks again same question >beat wench once more for asking question >"I am looking for thy cure to blood illnesses" >tells me she's actually bleeding >shesonherperiod.gross >"I the amazing doctor can cure this!" >put leech in her vaginas >wench screams in agonizing pain as leech eats her out >she died after a few days >she no longer has her period >cured.parchment >I am doctor
Aaron Johnson
Bumping lads
Gavin Wood
In this thread OP was totally hetero. Thank you medico, I owe my health to you.
~Sup Forums
Jayden Thomas
...
Logan Baker
Do NOT put me in the screencap
Jack Scott
Aaaaand you're screencapped... How're you feeling now?
Aaron Torres
>I am doctor >You better put me in the cap for screen peasant >Lest I tread on your only son
Cooper Cook
>be doctor >get plague
Sebastian Garcia
one of the best threads i seen in a while
Joseph Morris
agreed
Ryan Hughes
And the award for the most epic waste of dubs goes tooooo...
Samuel Nguyen
>.parchment hue
Jaxson Young
>Be me >Be doctor >Busy pouring salt in blind mans eyes to cure his blindness >Filthy peasant barges in >"Doc, me head feels like it's on fire and me stomach keep churling" >peasant vomits in my office >absolutedisgust.parchment >tell him not to fear and I have the cure >take him out to the fields and make him dig a hole >he gets into hole and I pour hundreds of leeches on him >next day while researching how to replace human hands with lobster claws >angry mob barges in >oh shit.parchment >mask covers sweat >"we found Heinrichs body out in the fields, what say you? >tell them he was a witch >simpletons believe bullshit >village rewards me with gold and makes me witchhunter >I am a doctor/witchhunter
Jackson Mitchell
>Be me >Be doctor >Finish curing a filth-laden peasant of dropsy >Peasant tells me that he was once a powerful merchant >Has kept most of his within-legal-bounds-but-ill gotten gains buried behind the dunny >I smell a Cantabrian scam >Tells me I can have my pick for hy reward >The buried silver >Or as many leeches as I can haul off from his pond >One thousand seven hundred eleven leeches later I am home >I am doctor >I am resupplied for the month >HeyNonnyNonny.parchment
Grayson Perry
this thread still alive? wow
>
>i am doctor >still dont know why i am doctor >it must be the devil's work >fidget around trying to make another snake stick >the last one i broke the snake fangs into the lord's qt daughter ass >shes still in a coma >no snake anywhere >lots of sticks for some reason >realize i must not be beating peasants with sticks enough >it must have thrown one of my humors out of balance >go to town square and gather every peasant >"THERE IS GREAT EVIL IN THE AIR, I CAN FEEL IT, EVERY PEASANT NEED TO BE HIT WITH HEALING STICK" >spend two days hitting peasants with sticks >outofsticks.shit >still cant remember why i am doctor >now i need to go to doctor's supply shop for sticks and snakes >everything goes well, doctor there had small doctor mask >laugh at him, get my snakes and sticks without paying >i will not pay doctor with less scary mask >remindertothanklordformask.parchment >while i was out the town got a huge plague infestation >not enough snakes and sticks to cure everyone >lock my self in my doctor office while every peasant screams in agony due to plague >as i try not to focus in their screams for long enough to make snake stick for myself >i remember >i am doctor
Carter Hernandez
>remindertothanklordformask.parchment Kek
Gabriel Taylor
>be common doctor >i am among many doctors and have nothing special to offer >am experimenting on gutter rats to try find how to infect everyone with the Plague to get more customers >rich man walks in with his two servants >ohfuckyes.limestonekishtablet >i beat the living fuck outta the two servants and gentler on the rich man >"what'dya need, sire?" >"my two servants here, Gnim and Gany have cancer" >"i have just the cure" >proceed to take out pickled Malaysian huntsman spiders, Heteroboda boiei. >"crush these and SPARINGLY feed them to your servants, these are rare spiders imported from the South-east Asias" >are actually common spiders i found outside by the gutter >"the price is 240 dollars, sire" >give them a goodbye beating to tie up any loose ends >they leave without breathing a word >go back to experimenting on my gutter rats
Isaiah Brown
...
Hunter Jones
>i am doctor >after great epiphany wait for peasants to heal >a single day goes by without someone complaining about the plague >there is something wrong my mask says so >finally go out >whole town dead >i have a town for myself and hundreds of specimens for study >lock town gates so no one ruins my party >first thing first bury lord as a thanks for scary mask >second thing second hit every dead corpse with stick >nopetheyreallyaredead.stick >spend months cutting bodies open >write it all in parchments, what organs look like, how body decays >and the smell oh god the smell >even rub one piece of rotting flesh on a page to make sure the reader understand the horrible stench >finally my studies conclude >book after book on human anatomy >cant be doctor here anymore because no peasants to heal with sticks >travel to another town there is already a doctor here >travel to another town faggot doctor with small mask >convince doctor and town's lord that i have a great deal of knowledge i'm willing to share >hit lord with a stick before to make sure he isnt possessed, other doctor too >he hits me back >whatthefuck.why >the lord is convinced there is no devil's work on play here >says to give knowledge to town's doctor >i give him all the books >it will take weeks for that faggot to understand all of my detailed writings >lord gives me special room in castle >living the doctor life >on the next day there guards breaking down my door >what >other doctor accuses me of witchcraft >ohnoyoudont >poke guards eye with stick >run into the doctor's office >poke his eye with stick >say it will heal with secret medicine only doctors know >he doesnt know >he isnt a doctor >lord see's he isnt real doctor >burn him at the stake because of trying to accuse real doctor >get his place as town doctor >i am doctor
Mason Collins
>I am a doctor >I have sat inside my mud hutt for two days does no one need a witch doctor? >In the early hours of the morn a young woman comes into my hut with a turd in her arms >Wait this is no turd its a child with a bulbous stomach and bleeding eyes the woman begs me to cure her child of his sickness >I the great witch doctor sit there for hours humming before i pick dirt off the ground sprinkle it on the child and circumcise him >HE IS CURED.AVI >i tell the woman as payment she must blow my witch stick or suffer the wrath of the forest gods >Got aids >no matter I am a witch doctor
Gavin Davis
leave the niggatry to the niggers
James Wilson
This isn't copypasta is it?
Is this what old Sup Forums was like?
Henry Wright
>be doctor >faggot comes into my office saying some about pasta >what >he continues asking about old b >this faggot is retarded >hit him with stick >still a faggot >and retarded >hit him with special stick >still nothing >there is no hope for a faggot so faggot
Colton Brown
>i am doctor >all i hit with stick i heal >most things end up dying after healing stick >dont care still healed >one after the other >create mighty cure against plague one day >toes from frogs and balls from bulls >offer it to rich people and they buy it >read the first word in every line
David Williams
>be doctor >nigga comes into office >try to cure nigga for neggasm >hit negga with stick >nigga still nigga >hit nigga even more with stick >nigga still nigga >tell nigga to put head in water >nigga must not take out head or it will explode >nigga becomes curred for niggadiem >beat dead nigger with stick >put dead nigga into dead nigga storage >I am a doctor
Jackson Kelly
bump
Brody Phillips
>i am doctor >greatest doctor in all land >peasants and kings all come from far and wide >for cures to ailments of which I know nothing >beating stick made from hickory >indestructible beating stick >Lord comes to call >"doctor I am ailing and need your assistance >chuckle.parchment >aye, what ails you m'lord >my trouser snake no longer spits white >whatthedevil.parchment >young lord. >trouser worm should still spit white >no matter "I shall cure ye come back on the morrow" >comes back on the morrow >still have no idea what the fuck is going on >m'lord I need a cure or will dishonor my family by not impregnating the royal wenches >beat lord about the face then use hickory to beat the trouser snake >trouser snake spits red >curedmotherfucker.parchment >on last lash hickory breaks >WITCHMOTHERFUCKER >lord burned at the stake for breaking that which is indestructible >fuck it still cured >i am doctor
Tyler Cook
bump
Jose Gomez
> be peasant > have sex with dead villagers > foreskin starts to look like plague evil > locate local doctor > surprised by splash of pickled dead stuff followed by a severe beating of a stick upon entry > doctor with biggest mask me eyes have seen > realdeal.toopoorforparchment > show doctor the unholy plagued peeny > immediately beats my stick with a stick > says to get naked while he fills a cauldron full of sharp rusty knives > has me hold out my willy nilly while he showers it with sacred daggers > my peen is missing some flesh > he then cuts my scalp off and beats me with a stick > ithinkmynosebroke.bloodycloth > nose is mishapen, ears drenched in blood, penis is in immense pain > ..now get as many coins... > wait what? > you ar..... ...eh joo..... > i dont understand > he beats me one last time and send me out
> i am cured i think. > he broke my nose, cut my penis, called me joo, and set me free to get coins. > im cured
Julian Reyes
>i am doctor >has scary mask >jew comes into office >i want pay before cure >beats jew for being a jew >jew want to be cured of aids >beats aids out of jew with snake stick >jew does not breath >good I got money up front as jew is jewing me >next morn >jewmom complaints that jew is dead >of cause jew is deaded as I beat it with a snake stick >jewmom wants money >beats jewmom for wanting money >tells jewmom to make my other stick spit white >jewmom does not reply >i should have gotten payment up front from jewmom >i just got jewed >i am still a doctor
Ethan Murphy
bump
Hunter Torres
Ok this one is my favorite.
Hudson Mitchell
Sometimes i think my brain is too stupid to get such Shakespearean masterpieces.
Sebastian Long
great... i have something in common with a filthy degenerate queer...
ARE YOU HAPPY OP YOU MADE ME SYMPATHIZE WITH A FILTHY FUCKING FAGGOT! ARE YOU HAPPY! YOU AND YOUR CRINGY FUCKING NEWFAG FAIRY FUCK REDDIT COMEDY MADE ME A SUPERIOR HETERO MALE BE IN THE SAME THOUGHT AS A FILTHY FUCKING Sup Forums FAGGOT!
Jason Watson
...
William Harris
>i am doctor >be sitting in my office, sharpening my cane into a sharp object >i shall call it "a stake" >wench barges through the door >didinotfuckinglockit.engravedstone >too busy sharpening cane to beat her with it >"M'lord, I have the pains in mine head" >sharpen stick some more >noideahowtohelp.parchment >"M'lord it hurts, make it go away please" >fucking peasant, can you not see I am making my badass doctor cane >she grabs my mask and begins tugging >ohyouvegoneanddoneitnow.magnacarta >drive the sharp end of my cane straight through the bitches skull >she stops complaining >cured >idea begins to form >stab my "stake" into her chest, replace her front teeth with snake fangs >throw her into the street >"BEHOLD PEASANTS FOR I HATH FOUND A VAMPIRE" >stupid made up word >"WE MUST BURN HER ELSE SHE WILL FEAST UPON YOUR GOOD BLOOD" >pleb uproar >church gives me enough money to start selling my stakes on mass >become rich >i am doctor