IS THERE A DOCTOR HERE TODAY? PLEASE I NEED A DOCTOR
I HAVE HEMMORHOIDS VERY FUCKING PAINFUL AND HAVEN'T MAKE A SHIT IN 5 DAYS STRAIGHT WHILE EATING NORMALLY
I CAN FEEL THAT I HAVE STONES LITERALLY IN MY ASS BUT NOTHING COMES OUT
THERE IS NO FEELING TO GO POOP
IT HURTS, STONES INSIDE AND HEMMORHOIDS
ENEMA DOESN'T HELP PLS DOCTOR
It's called being butthurt and you get from being bad at memes
FUCK YOU
I'm a doctor
go into the shower or bath, slowly work your hole open, and work it out bro. There's no fucking trick, just work around the pain, take your time, and go slow, and work it out with your hands.
GO TO A FUCKING HOSPITAL YOU FUCKING RETARD AND IF YOU TELL ME "DON'T WANNA, TOO EMBARRASSING" YOU CAN SUFFER FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAYS FOR ALL I CARE
>Implyinf doctors actually browse this cancerous website
Go to a real doctor and have him examine your ass fucktard
Not op hut I got over the embarrassing feeling by telling myself "the doctor/dentist has seen way worse"
From foot fungus, to fucked up teeth. So a hemmerhoid wouldn't faze me
Why do you have that webm saved?
Man fill a shampoo bottle with water and stick it as far up your ass as you can and them squeeze the water into it, you'll shit in seconds
I work in a hospital and I do see hemorrhoids surgery everyday. just go to you local hospital
Nice dubs. I didn't know hemorrhoids needed surgery, Jesus.
...
Drink lots of water
Eat lots of fiber canned foods
No alcohol
Keep your asshole clean, but do NOT IRRITATE it.
Drink lots of water.
>You're probably wondering how I got here
After 5 days you're probably slightly impacted. You need a proper laxative that will turn your shit to water, not a stool softener.
You also need cream or gel for your hemmeroid such as preparation h. If they're internal use the applicator to squirt it up your butt
Guy i know drinks two heaped spoons of epsom salts in two glasses of water and problem solved within a few hours.
As for the rhoids you just need a mirror and a very sharp box cutter. Oh and several strong drinks pre-surgery.
Let me share an old technique me and my platoon haf to get rid of the old ass sores in the gulf war.
>buy funnel
>buy vodka
>stick funnel in ass
>pour vodka in funnel
This will get rid of the infection and alliwyou to poop. Its important to buy vodka and not rubbing alcohol because the methyl alcohol in iy is toxic.
Don't do this.
does the salt make the hemorrhoid surgery hurt more?
Vatanal forma your ass
Linaza seeds in water (eat and drink water) for shit
Have you tried applying semen to the affected area?
What kind of question is that ?He is a faggot, of course he tried that
sauce pls, i need sound
Lube your asshole up with some vaseline and then chug some castor oil. It's gonna suck, but you will be free.
this. Get some fibercon from your local store take two in the morning two in the evening. Absolkutely no alcohol it makes the poop not form properly and have ridges that will shred your ass further.
Just snip 'em off with some scissors you big baby
Medfag here. You should go to the ER.
Other than that you should probably eat more fiber and drink lots and lots of water.
>More fiber
>Less carbs like pasta, rice, pizza, lasagna etc
>hydrate
>go to the ER
Drink a cup of coffee with 2 TBS coconut oil in it every day.
Why don't you go see a real doctor, retard?