ITT: we fix soccer

ITT: we fix soccer

I'll start

>get rid of offsides

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adding "time" is the most retarded shit ever

just pause the fucking clock, you dumb muslims

add time-outs and ad-breaks

unironically this

hey now, if you do this then the sport might actually generate money. if its not known as povertyball how else will people with 20 bucks in their pocket know to stay away?

We improve ped testing, all these niggas are juicing

Hello non-American friends

I'll assume you're all new here as not one of you has followed the standard procedure for when an American makes a post/thread about football. Allow me to teach you how to deal with this situation in the future.

So you've encountered a confused and angry American posting inane and dangerous opinions on a subject they know nothing about? don't panic and don't try to educate them as you will only encourage them to continue. All you need to do is reply to them with the three short lines of text below and you will improve Sup Forums for not only yourself but everybody else as well.
>That flag
>This topic
Opinion discarded.

If its not just an American post within a football related thread but an actual football related thread started by an American, just change the third line of text from "Opinion discarded." to "Opinion discarded, thread closed and hidden.".

If you've accidently read an American post/thread about football and find yourself in agreement with what they have posted, remind yourself of the infinite monkey theorem and follow the standard procedure.

Feel free to save this post to teach other new friends in the future and remember... only YOU can prevent Americans ruining football...

allow full contact
allow use of hands

fucking burgers

M U L T I B A L L

MULTIBALL

Offsides already don't exist for Real Madrid so let's just make it a global rule

Go back to posting about your fairly flop Michael Jordan

>tf
>tp

>chilly
>third world country
>lecturing the most powerful and important country in the world

Subs like in hockey

you can use your hands but they have a 5 second cool down and every 10 minutes you get to use them for 1 minute infinitely

>time stops when a player requires medical attention
>no added time at end
>allow more subbing

they are first world

Real Madrid alredy did that

GET RID OF THE FUCKING REFEREES AND ALLOW FOR UNLIMITED PLAYBACK TO ANALYSE PLAYS

>b..but muh tradition

You basically have a man who single handedly and unfarily changes the entire course of the match because he "oops made a mistake lol". Referees should be fucking shot They are literally criminals. Unfairly refereeing a game leads to players and clubs losing millions in money that they have no fault for

More contact. Not full-contact like real football, but stop letting players get a card just for diving to the grass. Let em hit eachother a bit
Also no more goalies, if you don't want somebody scoring on your goal then maybe you shouldn't let them get that far.

holy shit yes multiball.

fuck off Texas

I didn't even need to open the thread to know that a post this stupid was made by an Ameridumb.

>wanting every game to be a hoofball contest

Fuck off.

Celtic fan detected

It's already been decided.

M U L T I B A L L
I
B
A
L
L

>Put in a 2 minute shot clock
>Allow players to kick and slide tackle players with the ball

The best way to fix soccer is this

Get rid of the goalie and make the goal smaller.

Ta da, just fixed this shitty game.

TECHNO ELECTRO MUSIC IN-GAME
youtube.com/watch?v=y6120QOlsfU

Abolish club owners.
Every club must stand financially on their own.

just get rid of it. soccer has contributed literally nothing to society.

I hate you all

Add 4 more balls

>allow contact
>smaller field
>infinite substitutions
>5 players and one goalie
>smaller rubber disk shaped ball
>put it on ice
>use sticks instead of feet

Every league has argentinean league system so nobody knows who the champion actually is.

There's nothing to fix. It's the perfect containment activity for faggots and 3rd worlders.

Leave everything the same except
>super strict post match review fining and suspending players for diving. If the ref gets the call wrong, it won't change anything in the match, just a suspension after review.
>pks taken from the spot of the foul. A prime example was Son's tackle on moses yesterday. It is almost on the corner of the box and they get basically a guaranteed goal. Move everyone out of the box, make the gk keep 1 foot on the goal line, and the shot taken from the spot.

thread ends here

Get rid of out-of-bounds Make walls or something. Sports aren't fun when you watch the ball slowly roll away, causing someone to go pick it up. What a fun killer.

Also, field is too big. Not becuase >lard ass durrp but because there will be more scoring and less jogging and standing.

>Speed up the game by making the field smaller and perhaps put them on a faster surface
>Reduce the number of people to about 10ish, since as it stands it's 4 people involved at a time while almost 20 just walk around in packs talking about shoes and what they think it's like in the first world
>make the goal smaller since you're proving how inept your athletes are that they can't put a ball into a goal that is 50 feet wide and 3 stories high
Oh wait that just makes it hockey. I'm still amazed that the ultimate evolution of a sport exists, and yet the vastly inferior prehistoric version not only is still in use but is a million times more popular.
But I suppose that goes with the first world point, since third world shitholes can't play it with no equipment or water available

>post-match

Won't change shit. Make it a penalty like in hockey. If the ref even has the slightest idea that you dove, make it just as punishable as what the other player did. This Embellishment penalty is a sport saver.

kek

put soccer in rice my guy

Yeah, hockey is the positron brain of goal sports while soccer is Cro-Magnon.

>since third world shitholes can't play it with no equipment or water available

Lol.

>implying there isn't any money in soccer
>being this retarded

>if game reaches 90 minutes and there is no winner do the mls benuldies

basically fixed the sport lads
youtube.com/watch?v=RRITqS6WEn0

by that logic you should kill yourself

he probably means in america, you retarded retard

20v20

On a serious note, the offsides rule is so retarded. Make the game faster and more chaotic. It would be actually watchable at that point.

>full contact
>armour
>helmets
>egg shaped ball
>only black players can play
>sell hot dogs and tacos in the stadium
>timeouts
>more ads

yeah but you don't have to build multi million dollar stadiums to accommodate my existence. all i really need is a hot plate and a lawn chair.

>stop the fucking clock
>review the fucking plays
>more subs
>penalize diving
>remove that 2 game series that always ends with a team weaseling out to the next round with a tie simply due to away faggregate.

substitutions should just be like line changes in hockey, you run to the bench and someone runs on and you get a little rest. why would anyone want to watch worse players for long periods of time just because the good ones are tired

not enough niggers hugging each others and commercials

>review the fucking plays

review them when, and looking for what. there aren't very many controversial goals in the moment the scoring takes place. what you're going to get are reviews like hockey's offsides review that cancels dozens of seconds of free play, which is complete bullshit that needs to be repealed.

No more retarded haircuts, manbuns, or long hair.

Require all players to have 1 of 4 hair styles, all of which are short.

Some teams should move

>move inter to berlin

Milan markets is not big enough for two top teams, and berlin needs a franchise

>move atletico madrid to birminghan

Same as above

>move juventus to paris

Turin is not a big enough market and paris needs two elite teams

That's just for starters, I'm sure there are many other changes that must be done

you realize that the support those teams receive for both their play and heritage are what makes them elite right? just moving them somewhere cold where there arent any supporters isnt going to magically make them have the same turnout, cash, and success

>psg elite

topkek stavros

There are many ways to fix footb- err soccer, and getting rid of offsides is not one of them.

This desu. If you look at the time the ball was actually in play after the game ends it'd probably be barely 60 minutes. Trying to compensate over 30 minutes where the ball isn't in play with 3 or 4 minutes of added time at the end is silly.

Have walls, like in hockey. Then the ball wouldn't go out of bounds as much and stop the flow of the game.

But I thought americans didn't play soccer?

Have you seen americans lose their shit over relocation? Europeans who have the club be a symbol of their region's identity would be fucking outraged, plus a good portion of their fan revenue comes from the shitskins in southeast asia, africa, india, latin america and some whities in north america and australia.

>CB clears ball to opposition box
>Seven Peter Crouchs try to head it in
>CB clears ball to opposition box
kys

Underrated

not even memeing, but 0-0 ties shouldn't award any points to both teams

thanks, Chile.
The post-match idea isn't bad, I've thought about it before my self. Two game ban if, upon review, you are thought to be diving in the match. The problem with this it doesn't change much if you're in a final or it's the last game of the season. You *could* let the ban roll over to the next game or season but the initial games are never as important. It's a fucking start though, something needs to be done.
The ball isn't out of play for 30 mins lmao, stupid monkey.

>this flag
>this topic
Opinion discarded

>The ball isn't out of play for 30 mins lmao
Try doing it yourself. Stop the clock every time the ball goes out of play or there's a foul and start it again once the ball is back. It'll be a lot closer to 30 mins than you'd expect.

you can use your hands

so yr saying a match should be like 120mins in general this way.
imagine the extra time after a draw or even benuldis. shit would take forever. let alone how a player could maintain playing at a high level for this long

remove the amerifats

Okay, just looked it up and you're right. You're not a stupid monkey after all, just a plain old monkey. Apparently there's around 62-65 mins of in-play action. I'm going to assume you've played 11 a side football on a decent sized pitch so you'll know what level of fitness you'd need to complete a 90 minute game. Do you think you'd be able to play an extra 30 mins just as easy? What you're essentially suggesting is extra time every game. Even the most professional footballers start to become fatigued just extra time, they all start pulling hamstrings and straining themselves and overall it just gets kinda sloppy. It can be fun if you're watching a world cup final but week in week out it would just get ridiculous.

The most I'd suggest would be to increase the halves by 5 minutes, meaning there's 100 in total, but even then I'm not too bothered.

Threads like these are periodical from Americans who will never become interested in football no matter what changes are made.

There's nothing wrong with the most popular sport in the world with regards to its fundamental style of play and rules. What needs to be changed is much more intrinsic with regards to the sport as a whole, which is diving. When someone dives in a game it has the potential to be as pernicious for the other team as it does for your own, which is fucking crazy. What's worse is even after the game if you're found out to be diving then there's no punishment.

Ban Asians and sandniggers from playing.

Step one: Replace soccer ball with incendiary device which explodes once per match. No one knows when the ball is going to explode, but when it does, it SEVERELY WOUNDS or even KILLS players which it is nearest to. Once the incendiary device explodes, an old-fashioned soccer ball is used as its replacement for the rest of the match. (This keeps the season fresh by bringing in new talent).
Step two: Losers get RAPED. Scoreline differential at the end of the game determines how many dicks each player must take in his or her ass. For example: Team A loses to Team B 3-1. Each member of Team A must be double penetrated.
Step three: League winners get their choice of eunuchs at the end of each season. Each member of the triumphant team gets to select ONE (1) member of any team being relegated to be castrated and used as their own personal work slave, sex slave, or page. Slaves remain in their master's possession for 2 full seasons, unless, beforehand, the master emancipates them.
Step four: Introduce cyborg referees.
Step five: Sit back and enjoy the game!

MULTIBALLS

typical americlaps

Add lineouts, and you are allowed to pick the ball up and run with it.

You have to shove the ENTIRE soccer ball up your ass, and shit it out and into the opponent's goal in order to score. Passing is done by hand, as is stealing.

>yfw Chile is higher on the economic freedom index than America
>Chile is literally more free than America.

How can you compete?

this. Don't see how it couldn't be done easily and give the viewing public more of what they want

By installing another fascist regime.

fire up those rotors

Pinochet fags are so tired. Let me guess, you're a libertarian too? Good look supporting a literal fascist

a player would just stand in front of the goal

Fascism is fun to roleplay on the Internet. In real life though, it has consequences which lend themselves to destruction of self and surroundings. I'm not a fascist, I just have no friends.

t. Cuck

>no fouls
>add football gear
>2 points for goal In front of benalty box

points for goal In front of benalty box
This pleases me. Gib BLOOTERZ

based

I don't see how this can fail.

>Pinochet fags are so tired. Let me guess, you're a libertarian too? Good look supporting a literal fascist
So much butthurt.

Pinochet wasn't even a free market supporter.
We like him because he saved Chile from communism.