ITT: Tard stories/ generally funny greentexts, I’ll start
>be me
>14
>go to eat at outback with parents
>goodassribs.png
>parents smoke so there's always a little down time after dinner
>GameStop next to outback so I always go play the consoles they have set up while my parents smoke
>playin some vidya on the PS3 they have there
>fuckin little big planet or something idfk
>I see a girl come in out of the corner of my eye
>nothing seems off about her but then again I'm not paying attention at all
>she hops on the wii console they have set up and starts to play with it
>2 mins go by
>another girl walks in
>girl #2 says "Jenny, the table is ready"
>I guess there was a wait at outback so Jenny came to play wii
>Jenny responds with a fuckin loud tard noise
>catches me off guard
>Jenny has full fledged downs
>continues to make tard noises in response to girl #2
>when she leaves, I notice she wasn't even playing a game
>just shaking her controller at the screen
>mfw she was just playing the fucking wii menu for 10 minutes
ITT: Tard stories/ generally funny greentexts, I’ll start
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Shameless self bump
Wii menu is the shit though.
>in high school trip to science museum
>sitting in the planetarium
or whatever it's called, the auditorium where the ceiling lights up like space, you get it.
>retard walks in all twitchy and held up by a teacher, dude has 30 ticks a second
>i kinda chuckle and my teacher tells me to shut my mouth
here it comes.
>lights go out and the ceiling lights the fuck up
>retard starts spazzing out and flailing his arms
>straight out clocks a person in the jaw
>i almost shit my pants laughing at the fact the people that thought it was a good idea to bring him in there were more retarded than him.
You right tho
>i almost shit my pants laughing at the fact the people that thought it was a good idea to bring him in there were more retarded than him.
And now you can't even abort them! You will suffer your tards as GOD WILLS YOU TO!
i'm not sure what you are trying to say.
>be me
>14, faggot
>do online school, go to actual school once a week bc muh autism
>meet tard named jaiden
>sit next to her
>tard mode activated.jpg
>throws herself on floor and starts wailing like a fucking jap
>i stand up and slowly walk away
>tard runs at me
>what the fuck is that smell
>she pissed herself
>panic and punch her in the boob
>parents have to take me home
>cant tell who the real tard is here
>fml
pic related (spitting image of her)
Kasich just signed a bill preventing abortions of fucking tards before they're born (obviously). To be this fucking stuck in the "all GOD'S children" bullshit. Yeah let's just pop them out so that they can lead unfulfilled, unproductive lives where they're struggling through it at every single moment while pulling everyone else around them down at the same time.
>panic and punch her in the boob
Kek! "BAD TOUCH!"
The world needs village idiots too, user.
>be me
>Junior year of hs
>Haven't gotten my gym credit so I take a gym class this year
>Go in first day almost nothing but tards.
>The coaches tell us our classes are going to be split, and that we are going to be put in different gyms
>Mfw I get put in the gym class that was half tard
>In class there is this one kid we'll call him Tom, he has that unmistakable downey face
>You know the one
>Class is also half nig
>Mfw the nigs befriend the tards
>Mfw the nigs teach Tom how to dance like a degenerate nig
>Mfw
>degenerate nigs teaching a retard how to have a harmless good time?
sounds like a few black kids were nice to the retard and you still can't handle it today.
wanna point on the doll where you were touched?
Sounds more like they were teaching their hifey fifey nigger monkey shuffle to someone who lacked the capacity to decline their jungle boon interactions like any reasonable white person would. Tard was taken advantage of.
No it doesn't. And even if that were true, if the village idiot isn't a downsie it would just be a regular dumb guy still able to feed and clean himself.
So if you go to get an abortion and the see that the fetus is a downsie, they won't let you abort it? But if it's a normal human fetus they will suck it right out of you?
>sounds like a few black kids were nice to the retard
by showing how to behave like a nigger, further degrading his social skills?
That's "being nice" in your book!?
Which world do you live in!?
when did dancing become nigger behavior? if that anons story is true and they taught him how to twerk and he had a smile on his face while twerking how is that bad? do you really believe the tard is going to rob someone now? what if a gay dude taught him how to dance, do you think he would start craving cock?
don't pick it apart, answer me.
Yes, they cannot abort a fetus found to be suffering from a mental or physical retardation. However, the mother/parents are still not without options. They are provided an option to carry the pregnancy to full term, and sign a form called a dismissal of custody and power of attorney. This for allows for the newborn to be transferred to the care of Federal Institute of Health, Division of Science and Research. There, the children are placed under the close observation of physicians and scientists who perform further genetic experiments on them in an attempt to learn more about their genetic and chromosomal abnormalities and malformations. Most subjects die before the age of 2, so its a relatively inexpensive government sponsored program, as it doesn't rely on funding to support the subjects into adulthood.
fucking hell. that is some dystopian black mirror shit.
pleas post proof that this exists. if it's real it must be public? easily available?
Found the gay retarded nigger lover, guys.
Would you rather take care of them?
no fuck that. i think they should be able to be aborted if the mother doesn't want to raise a tard. not turned in to lab rats.
>when did dancing become nigger behavior?
when user posted "dance like a degenerate nig"
l2read.
>and they taught him how to twerk
Which is frowned upon by every sane person...
>and he had a smile on his face while twerking how is that bad?
Because he is not sane, can not make out the difference between appropriate behavior and inappropriate, and therefore is being taken advanatge off. Next time he does this at a family gathering, his mother will have to do a whole lot of explaining, putting pressure on her, which she may or may not vent in the tards direction, and even if not, he will be sad and confused that his beloved mom feels ashamed of his behavior. Good fucking job, nigs.
>do you really believe the tard is going to rob someone now?
No. Do you? Was that your idea or mine?
>what if a gay dude taught him how to dance, do you think he would start craving cock?
If the gay dude taught him twerking, he would have taught a disabled person how to behave a nig, without even be a nigger, making this even more cruel than it already is.
If he teaches him how to actually dance, fine with me. Dunno why you compare gays with nigs, or imply that gays infect everyone with the desire for cock... seriously, your mind is fucked up, m8.
>don't pick it apart, answer me.
I just did and you will still call bullshit because you don't like being called out on your prejudices one by one, preemptively shifting the goalpost of the form in which a reply needs to be made, to avoid this.
I don't play your games.
Deal with it.
what a lazy asshole response that was. don't reply, i'm going to bed.
#rekt
you spend way too much time trying to make people on the internet think you are a person that should be heard.
good luck.
a murder has just been witnessed on Sup Forums
and the libcuck pissed itself, now running away in shame.
good riddance
i'm at a crossroads user, i want to leave the thread but at the same time i can't wait to see what idiocy gets posted.
>i can't wait to see what idiocy gets posted.
then keep posting, and we get plenty to see.
I have likely said too much, as this information isn't publicly available. Basically, any healthcare facility that receives any sort of public funding, to include government sponsored insurance, is required by law to report the discovery of an fetal abnormalities detected during any exams. The agency this information is reported to is very discreet. Once information is received, this agency dispatches a representative with a warrant permitting the discovery of medical records, exam results, and normally holds a consultation with the treating physician (normally an OB/GYN) as well as a pediatrician specializing in neonatal care. Once there is a concensus regarding the disposition of the fetus and its viability, the parents are brought in for additional consultation. They are provided information of the options available to them, and they are under no obligation to act on any of them. There is normally a therapist present to provide support and guidance in their decision making, as well as an arbitrator present to act as a neutral party. The parents may revoke any decision made during the pregnancy up to and including the time of birth. An agency representative will normally be present at the birth, and will confirm the parents decision prior to taking custody, if that was their decision. This is done after the mother is in recovery and not under the influence of any narcotics or mind altering substances. Signatures from both parents (or just mother if the father isn't present beforehand), and the representative are required and performed in the presence of a notary public, who will then notarize the form. After the child is healthy enough to be discharged, the representative will assume custody.
you hold yourself as high value, i think that's comical.
thinking you bested me is the high point of your day and i won't remember this when i wake up, i can't help but feel bad for you.
Kek
I am not proud of this.
>be 14
>on my first date ever
>nervous as fuck
>took date to the mall because that's what the cool kids did
>decided to the Arcade to play some games so we could avoid any more awkward silence.
>goodolddays.gif
>we're on the line for the basketball game
>there are two young girls playing in front of us
>one of them is really bad at it
>she's missing all the shots
>dropping balls on the floor and letting her friend pick it up
>after 5 minutes or so I break the silence
>turn to my date and say
>"man, this chick sucks... lol... I mean... damn."
>she looks shocked
>"user, how can you say that?"
>she said, in horror. with her hand on her chest, like an old christian lady.
>mfw
>I realize that little girl only had one arm
>one
>fucking
>arm
I don't know why parents never told me I was autistic.
>you hold yourself as high value, i think that's comical.
And I share this impression about you, too.
And jfyi, my high point today was buying a train ticket to my gf to spend christmas together, right after picking up the presents for her from the local post office.
I have no regrets while laughing about your silly attempts to project shit onto me. But since you are implying bullshit in order to find something to droll over, tell me, how was your day? Are you projecting by any chance?
be me, this year
work in a coffee shop
I just call and deliver the fucking orders, the cashier does her job.
the cashier had gone to the fucking bathroom
comes two girls, one was average and the other was beautiful, skinny, big eyes, short hair, sexy voice, tall.
I ask her if she's going to pay cash or credit card, she tells me she's going to pay by credit card.
I don't know how to charge by credit card.
feelbadman
I get ready, and with my nervous voice I say to her: can wait for me while I call the cashier?
He says okay.
I literally felt like the most beta man in the world.
>He says okay.
Tell me user. how long have you been craving traps?
i had a good day.
>He says okay
Wat?
err...
where is the problem?
you didn't notice until she said something.
Could have easily played it off by admitting this.
Why so shy all of a sudden?
First you were boasting with all your virtue at full throttle and tried to be a smart-ass when that didn't work, and now you don't even try to come up with a witty response?
Suffice to say that this amuses me, but I'm kinda disappointed, too. Does the little libtard not want to play anymore?
>I have likely said too much, as this information isn't publicly available.
Stopped reading there. Retard.
>Senior year highschool
>First chair trumpet in jazz band
>friend aaron plays 2nd chair
>band gets gig to play graduation at silversands retard school down the road
>5 tards graduating
>short ceremony
>Jazz band commence
>aaron has a trumpet solo
>once done, all the tards go ape shit for him and clap / make sea lion noises
>aaron and I burst into laughter and the band follows suit, we lose time and fall apart, the whole room is in an uproar, parents and teachers laughing
>even the band director is fighting off laughter
>MFW i hear the first tard noise
>stupid nigger lover cries so hard he ragequits Sup Forums
kek
Don't lie. You read the entire thing. You're on Sup Forums on a Friday night. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt you have nothing better to do than read my post, because if you did you wouldn't be here at all. Don't pretend you didn't fancy my post.
i had a good day, i don't feel the the need to brag about it on Sup Forums like you do. i still stand by my original post. merry christmas you win.
has the legend of neal been posted yet?
>Don't lie. You read the entire thing.
I didn't. By a stroke of luck, the very first sentence revealed that the rest of your post was utter bollocks and would have been a waste of my time. Thank you for being so considerate you stupid nigger.
>merry christmas
REEEEEEEE! Did you just assume my religious and holiday values? Reported! MODS!
nope, but it's always a nice addition.
SHUT THE FUCK UP FUCK OFF YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT FUCKING TRUMPTARD EAT SHIT AND FUCKING DIE YOU HALAL SUICIDE BOMBING SAND NIGGER PIECE OF SHIT
FUCK OFF
lol, right? fucking Sup Forums and its 12 year olds
i'm triggered by people who are triggered
I won 3 posts ago anyways, but thx for pointing it out.
Merry christmas to you, too.
Niggers make me horniferous you white gayboi cucks
My autistic step brother fucked one of our dogs
may as well add my only real story
>be my 1st job, collecting carts, and loading cars at a home depot
>Its only part time after school and on weekends
>they have a full time tard I some times work with
>one day some guy gets a water heater, shit was heavy to my 16 year old self
>bot me and rere go out to load it in the guys truck
>rere is being pathetic and acting like he cant even lift any of it
>impatiently the customer says something to the effect of come on just load it already
>rere snaps picks the whole water heater up and tosses it into the back of the truck and storms off
>that 1st experience with retard strength frightens me a little to this day.
No need to be so assertive, friend. I promise I am of Caucasian descent and I swear to the authenticity of my Irish and German roots. I forgive you for the multiple assertions of slanderous names, by the way. Now that that ugliness is behind us, if you made it to my second post, then that means you at least read my first post and were interested enough to seek out addition information. So I stand by my assumption that you read the second post as well, as fictional as it is. I don't expect you to admit you did. Everyone here knows it already. Anyway, enjoy your friday night here on Sup Forums. I am glad I was able to entertain you this evening, and look forward to our next online interaction.
lol I'm not reading all that shit you fucking kike
This triggers me. I call it the tri-trigger. Being triggered by someone being triggered by another triggered person. Its just something I live with.
not the previous user, but on the fence as well.
got any sources? Cause google returns nothing and such experiments would normally infringe upon international ethical standards in medical research.
Where are you getting this from? Are you in some sort of related field?
He's getting it from his retarded ass. Probably a filthy /x/ crossboarder.
>Be me
>14 at the time
>there was this tard, his name was Ty
>his most hated thing was when people called him "TyTy"
>perfect.jpg
>beginning of 4th period, math
>hes in the room across the hall, door is cracked open
>Excellent.gif
>walk to the door and put my mouth right in the opening
>Yell louder than the THX Movie Sound
>"Hey TyTy!" run back into the class so it looks like i didnt do anything
>friend sees what i did, call her k
>she looks into the window of the door, turns around terrified and yells "HES RUNNING!"
>kek.kek
>he slams his 200lb body into the door, breaking it from the hinges
>slams on the ground, gets back up with a bloody nose
>girl asks "Whats wrong, Ty?"
>he dead stares me
>targetspotted.jpg
>points his finger at my, hand against his chest
>hes rotating his finger in circular motion, backing away slowly, tripping on the door
>he pissed himself
>kek
>tard rangler takes him away
>"Wtf, what did you do, user?"
>i called him by his nickname
>"he hates that!"
>act like i didnt know
>mfw they were convinced
>mfw he broke his nose
Tard soldiers.
Sex crazed and retard strong.
The perfect killing machine.
this thread tells me we need more tolerance in this world. most of you can be very crappy people for bad reasons and should be ashamed.
3/10 bait.
And yet here you are, 30 minutes later, still lurking on a Sup Forums thread regarding greentext stories about encounters with retards. Please explain to me again how you aren't here for any reason than to read the posts people make. Go ahead, I am listening.
I'm only here to read posts from worthwhile people, not worthless kikes like you that spout bullshit disinfo like nigger pieces of shit.
think what you want. no one can say anything honest that isn't edgy world hating stuff. my statement stands. i don't care if people don't like it because it's absolutely true.
4/10 bait, slightly better. You're getting there, newfag.
Not proud of this.
> be student gov't
> have teachers admin keys
> need to go into basement
> stock for school store etc.
> special ed is close to stairwell
> variable degrees of potatoes
> some are just mildly autistic and pass mostly for normal
> there's a cutey in there with boundry issues
> being after school often I've seen her around before
> this time she's waiting outside the room and blurts out "what're you doing?"
> "going to the basement"
> "can I see?"
> figure why not.. It'll only take a moment and it's not like she's gonna steal gum
> "sure.. You can help me carry some boxes"
> I unlock the basement and we walk down
> tumbling mats, drama equipment, etc.
> get to the locker bank where we store the stock
> she gets too close behind me and awkwardly hugs me
> "It's scary down here"
> lolwut.jpg
> I turn around in her arms to tell her it really isn't
> she's blushing, half smiling, and biting her lip
> ohshit.mpg
> she asks if I think she's pretty
> I awkwardly say I do
> she squeezes me and I can feel her breasts pressing into me
> errectionachieved.webm
> I'm sure she can feel it
> I slid my hands up her ribs to either side of her breasts to push her away
> but her breath shuddered and she moaned a bit
> fuck
> instead of pushing her away I cupped her breasts.
> fuck fuck fuck what am I doing
> next thing I know there's a behaviorally challenged girl blowing me in the basement
> I did nut in her mouth after just a few minutes
> she just swallowed like it was nothing and giggled as we gathered the supplies
> got noticed by one of the t.a.'s when we came back up
> got in trouble for letting her into the basement, and because she needs supervison
For the remainder of the year tried to make every excuse to get alone time with her. I no longer cared that she wasn't firing on all cylinders.
If you really aren't baiting you're a fucking whiny little pussy and you should know better than to proudly parade that on Sup Forums, on Sup Forums of all fucking places. Nobody gives a fuck about your hurt fee fees and pathetic, meaningless whimpers of "t-tolerance!" Nothing in this thread is hurting anyone or anything except your fragile little ego, and frankly I hope it hurts enough to make you kill yourself.
...
Oh.. Found out what her deal was later.
Foetal Alcohol Syndrome.. Very poor self control.
I must admit, especially since that other user is shitting on my parade, likely as a projection of his insecurities considering he is here with us on Sup Forums on a Friday night instead of having a productive social life, that my posts are works of fiction. I tend to write things like that when I am bored. There are no federal agencies involved in the procurement or experimentation of newborns suffering from physical and/or mental retardation. At least not within the confines of my posts. I do not deny the existence of shadow governments or the possibility that there may be a program not dissimilar to the one described though. Please take what I have written with a grain of salt. I hope I have at least provided some mild curiosity and entertainment for you this evening.
>foetal
Found the Britbong
>my posts are works of fiction
Are you next going to tell us that the sky is blue and that you love big fat throbbing black cocks? Is that what we're doing now, posting really obvious shit that everyone already knows?
Kek. Maybe
Die of heart disease already, burger
Great answer, friend. I have been enlightened by your overflowing well of euphoria. Have a great rest of your evening. PS, terrible b8, m8. Maybe don't try so hard to sound like an autistic 13 year old who recently discovered slurs in the future.
I just feel compelled to point out the obvious, because sometimes its not so obvious. How can mirrors be real if our eyes aren't real?
Shut the FUCK up
>because it's absolutely true.
only within your own moral framework.
outside of it, reality continues being reality.
And tolerance is one of the biggest problems of our times.
Both on the macro and micro scale.
The refusal of people to engage with critical ideas, both philosophically and when it comes to their very own life-choices, has caused one of the degenerated and ill-functioning generations to sprawl the western world.
They happily hand over their freedom, alongside with their responsibilities, to receive both social and economical security that does nothing for them but stall the development of th nation, as well as their very own, personal development. The result are screeching, middle-class ideologues, deeply hating the free market, and the demands of the meritocracy, completely disregarding that both are the very pillars on which modern society rests. without them, their leisure crumbles as well, yet they are oblivious to it, and we have to "accept" and "tolerate" it.
we have to work, to produce the economical excess, they rest upon, while excusing their refusal to go for a meaningful education and become functioning parts of the very society they feed upon.
Yes the sick and the elderly need care, and periodical joblessness for a limited time is not a person's fault, but plain refusal to work should never be tolerated by us, yet we sit here and feed niggers, while the black people have to provide for them alongside the rest of society.
This is not a matter of race.
It is very much a matter of personal development and culture. And yes, some culture, like gang / nigger culture, are naught but cancer on society.
From what I understand, they won't let you abort it if that's the sole reason you want an abortion. I.E. you do the retard test and say "oh fuck, I don't want it"
If you wanted an abortion regardless, you can have one depending on the state laws that are constantly changing depending on which faggot conservatives are in charges.
Do you live in NC? Was Jenny blonde with a British accent?
> has caused one of the most degenerated
fix'd
Also, I do enjoy throbbing black cocks. The bigger the better. I love being spitroasted with them, and I love when they fill my orifices with their hot, gooey, genetically superior jizz.
You know there is no such entity as the Federal Institute of Health, right?
>but plain refusal to work should never be tolerated by us,
>hurr durrr hurf da workin man is da only tr00 man
kys
care to adress my points with a meaningful rebutal, or do you just wanted to stop by and prove this line correct:
>The refusal of people to engage with critical ideas, both philosophically and when it comes to their very own life-choices, has caused one of the degenerated and ill-functioning generations to sprawl the western world.
>92 replies
>33 posters
Top kek, m8. I have provided you several opportunities to move along in a manner that is mutually beneficial to the both of us, and yet you continue to force a correspondence. It seems to me that despite your previous claims of remaining present for the retard anecdotes, you are more interested in what I have to say. I am happy to entertain your autism, but you simply need to ask for more. No need to be so abrasive and off-putting. I hope we can continue forward in a more civilized manner.
>hurrfffff durr hurr more pseudo-intellectual meaningless bullshit
kill yourself immediately
checked and kek'd.
Also yea, it is the working PERSON that provides you your comfy life, you fucking leech. But if you want to prove us that you think in nothing but collectivist stereotypes, we can continue calling it the "working man".
If you don't shut the fuck up I'll kill myself
>the working PERSON
go back to tumblr you fatass feminist